[king]

i asked my bf to make me some fucking hot chocolate and the entire time he was trying to remember that one harry potter spell about turning water to rum anyway he came in with my drink and he just goes “eye of newt, sperm of groot” and i dont remember the rest becasue i just burst into tears

[weavemama]

you know America is going thru some shit when a damn cruise ship company offers more help than the president

[weavemama]

keep in mind puerto rico IS going through a humanitarian crisis, and the fact that recreational businesses and celebrities have pitched in more help than 45 is absolutely repulsive.

[weavemama]

also, royal carribean is NOT the only cruise ship line that is helping Puerto Rico. Norwegian cruise line has donated $600,000 to help rebuild schools and the Carnival cruise line lended 11 ships to bring supplies to the carribean islands.…. as I mentioned, recreational businesses > the chief executive

[cosmicsignificance]

You know that episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob makes one small mistake and then just starts chanting, “SOILED IT” over and over again? That’s what it’s like to have anxiety.

[coma-diddle]

Friend: so what type of witch are you?

Me: I kinda just light a bunch of candles put stuff in jars and hope for the best

[coma-diddle]

[sixpenceee]

A picture of Tim Curry on the set of It in 1990.

[candy-boyyy]

He looks like he’s about to drop the hottest mixtape of 1990

[southernbadgirl10th]

Tim Curry: Red Balloon Ft. Insane Clown Possie

[nenyc]

[nellroshe]

Provinssi 2016 (7)

[today-ifuckedup]

Today, I fucked up... by giving my girlfriend a heart attack

So this happened around a year ago,

Was enjoying a late night move session with the Misses in bed. We were watching Insidious 2 (after watching 1st) and we’re pretty good with horror films, bit jumpy but we were surviving.

After it finished we turned the lights off to go to sleep, Gf for some reason hangs her leg out of bed, I asked her how its possible to do this after a horror film she says because its hot etc etc..I said “to make sure a demon doesn’t grab it”..She gets stroppy complaining to stop scaring her, and rolls over..

We talk for a while and she gets to the stage where shes barely awake and talking utter rubbish..something about Insidious.. So being the 18 year old joker I was, I slid quietly out of bed, and crawl under it.. here’s the FU..

I crawl up to where her leg is hanging down, shes still rambling on about something. And I grab it, Hard and pull her down She’s quite small so falls off the bed screaming so loudly it actually hurts my ears..but in her fall she kicks me in the face, really hard.

So we’re both lying on the floor, her crying and me holding my broken face. I did still find it quite funny, but she was a mess.. She was sat in bed shaking and crying..Looking back on it, probably wasn’t very funny.. She was on edge for a couple of days and hated me for a good week. Totally worth it. 10/10 Would Grab Again.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

[miggylol]

pumpkin spice candles soon

pumpkin lattes soon

pumpkin everything

[achievement-hunter]

#ITS STILL JULY YOU ANIMALS

[theinturnetexplorer]

Actual Reasons Why People Were Dumped

[pavlovscorgi]

is this post secret

[myharesisdea-blog]

👁 👁

[fede-le-grand]

[cadaver-blood-deactivated201812]

-

[darlinghogwarts]

Bigots are afraid of calculus too now.

[apeeled]

i love it when things stop bothering you. like two months ago i was totally bitter about so many things and now im like “u know what i don’t even care” & that’s a beautiful feeling

[getfawked120-deactivated2023053]

The fact that sloths aren’t extinct somehow proves that if u go at ur own pace and mind ur own fuckin business u too can succeed

[dustspeck-deactivated20190423]

the ocean is problematic

- knocks me tf down 

- crazy fishy 

- sand in ass