You're An Idiot;

Gregory Porter. 18. Human. Senior. Souless. Gregory Porter, the First of His name, King of Making Bad Decisions, King of the Trash Cans and the Trash Sons and the First Problematic Faves, Lord of the Locals at Franks’, Protector of the Tip Jar, Khaleesi of the Great Glittery Bar, called Greg Trashking, the Hopeless, Father of Mistakes.

[neckkiss]

[greg-porter]

 @bad-kitty-katriel asked: 📱-  greg & kat

What was my muses 5 last sent texts yours?

[ Greg to Kat ] wyd??? 😏 [ Greg to Kat ] How’s life going at Fancy Preppertorium???? You murder the Head Cheerleader yet & claim their place or........ [ Greg to Kat ] dude, are you dating Hailie Tyler 👀👀👀 gimme the 411, the hot gossip, jfc [ Greg to Kat ] havensdale fucking sucks without you here [ Greg to Kat ] stevie b’s after pp. b there or b fucking square!!!😘😘😘

What was my muses 5 last unsent texts yours.?

[ Greg to Kat ] wyd??? 😏 [ Greg to Kat ] Kit Kat, I think I really fucked up. Like, next level, messed up, did something really just [ Greg to Kat ] Do you remember Bonnie Brightman?? [ Greg to Kat ] i think everyone hates me now [ Greg to Kat ] Things used to be simpler, huh?

What was my muses last snapchat to yours?

What my muse saved your number as?

Kitty Kat 😼

What contact photo my muse has set for yours?

What ringtone my muse has set for yours?

“She’s A Genius” --- Jet

How many times my muse has called your this week?

2

How many calls has my muse missed from yours?

1

[quotethatshow]

[greg-porter]

little-orphan-annelise​.

Oh, the boy was unsettled. Annelise didn’t even need to hear his heartbeat to know that. Humans, especially young ones, just gave away their emotions so easily. It was delicious, truly delicious. She gave him as a wide smile as he went to fetch them both a drink. As she waited, Annelise scanned the crowded room. So many people. She could have some real fun tonight, couldn’t she. But no, not yet. She had to control herself for a little. At last he came back, carrying a red cup with a…umbrella? “How kind of you. It looks delicious.” She took a sip. It was not. “How did you come up with this combination of flavor?”

There was something about her smile that made him want to make an excuse and ghost as fast as possible. He didn’t know why though which only made him not come up with said excuse. Did that make sense? Greg wasn’t about to think too hard about it. At the compliment, he flashed a grin, preparing to reveal his secrets- “Well, you make enough Pin boards and Google enough cocktail recipes and you’re basically unstoppable. The little umbrella is because it’s raining,” he added, playing it cool but secretly pretty proud of that joke. Greg took a quick scan of the crowd before looking back to her (cautiously). “So, uh, did you come with anyone or have you just been hanging out?”

[bob-belcher]

New Girl  |  1x22 - “Tomatoes”

[violadvis]

Alex Fitzalan as Harry Bingham in The Society (2019)

[greg-porter]

blairfisher​.

“I don’t know who Marty Kowalski is,” Blair mumbled, staring down at her Skittles. Not that it was much of a surprise. The honors kids were a tight-knit group. But coming to this party had just proven how few people outside that bubble she knew. “Didn’t you eat at prom?”

"Marty! You know, with the hair? Always wears that annoying look on his face like he just won first prize at a ‘I’m better than you’ race? Had the frosted tips back in junior high-,” he paused before the thought hit him- “Which you wouldn’t know because you were free from growing up in this place. I ate at prom but that was then. This is now. I’m practically wasting away here, Fisher.”

[greg-porter]

Text ↝ Kitty Kat

Kat: 🖕🏽🖕🏽🖕🏽

Kat: Srsly why would you do this??

Kat: She hates me

Greg: she doesn't hate you

Greg: she's just hurt by what you did and mad that you did it and you never really apologised or said how you really felt even though you felt it

Greg: or something like that

Greg: The point is !! Good things are happening tonight & there's a chance for anything

[greg-porter]

@bad-kitty-katriel asked: head canon + kat for greg 😇

Greg simply adores Katriel!

She is, of course, an absolute babe and there’d been no trouble when it came to having a lil flirt with her (or hooking up that one summer). The important thing however was that she was just as much of a hot mess as he was - much more charming about it though, let’s be honest. Kat quickly became one of his favourite people to be around and he’d class her as really good friend (and it’s chill if she wouldn’t do the same. Kat being mean is also one of his fave things about her).

They share in not living up to expectations, girl problems and partyin’ their problems away.

[greg-porter]

little-orphan-annelise​.

She could hear his heartbeat pick up a bit. Fear? Excitement? Did it matter? No, she decided. It did not. “Would you do both for me? I’d appreciate it ever so much.” She paused, and then decided to add to her demands. “Oh. And a drink. I want a drink. Something that tastes good.”

┈⛧┈┈•༶

Greg opened then promptly closed his mouth, letting out a sigh. He’d walked right into that one. “Yeah, alright. At your service-,” he added with a half-assed bow and exaggerated wave.

Now, Greg had been at enough Beaumont parties to know exactly where the towels were. Bonus points, right? The tasty drink might be a bit harder. He was more of a bus boy at Franks’ and at his own parties, well, the drinks weren’t necessarily tasty... He picked up what might have been Jack Daniels with honey, what was left of the room temp, off brand, Cola and filled up a red plastic cup (not even getting paid for this, y’know). The pièce de résistance? A little umbrella to top it all off. Greg pushed his way back through the crowd to her. “Voila! One towel, one drink. I’m here all night.”

[blairfisher]

“Where did I get this? Uh, frankly, none of your business. I didn’t know that bringing snacks to a party was a problem.”

[greg-porter]

"No, no it’s not. It’s just that Marty Kowalski just inhaled the last of the chips and honestly, the way that rain’s going... We could be stuck in here for hours. If there’s a secret surplus of snacks, now’d be the time to fess up, Fisher.” Greg paused then, flashing a grin- “Pleaaaaase.”

[greg-porter]

is it insensitive of me to say, ‘get your shit together...so i can love you’.

@sunblinkss

[greg-porter]

I’m just saying, as long as the kids don’t do anything we wouldn’t have done at their... Alright, scratch that. Leaves way too much room for shenanigans.

But yes, yes Simon is doing really well. His office is very cool, plaque on the desk and everything. Thanks for asking--- Do you want to see pictures?

@havensdalestarters​

[greg-porter]

a reminder about this former Greg 1.0 turned Wholesome DadTM AND that if your character’s parents were in havens high, they can absolutely be one of fred’s exes *winkwink* https://greg-porter.tumblr.com/post/624635014043385856/alfred-fred-porter-human-fc-jon-hamm-tldr

[greg-porter]

little-orphan-annelise​.

She was able to figure out who the arm was connected to. The face was vaguely familiar, although she could not say why. At this point, all the guys who she considered drinking from but had passed on because the situation just wasn’t convenient had the same vibe.

“It might be both. That’s what I’m tempted to think. Especially given that you stepped on my toes. Which are wet.”

Oh. She was that scary chick who crashed the prom! It suddenly hit Greg along with the fact that the exit was so far away. (Although, maybe the witnesses were a good thing). “Fair enough. I’m sorry about your toes though. There’s towels and stuff, uh, somewhere back there... Or I could bump up the thermostat. I bet the Beaumonts won’t mind.”

[greg-porter]

Text ↝ Kitty Kat

Kat: do u want to be unalived?

Kat: bc I will unalive u

Kat: as soon as we get out

Greg: Love ya 2 😉😉😉

[humbag-deactivated20190721]

Travis Birkenstock, thirty-eight tardies. By far, the most tardies in the class. Congratulations.