Hey everyone,
I want to start by apologizing for my sudden disappearance from social media. There's a reason behind it, and I've reached a point where I'm tired of the situation and want to make it public in search of support and advice.
Not many of you may know this, but I was in a relationship with Dallas Barnett, who likes to call himself an "actor," for almost 8 years. We connected through Twitter when I was a young fan (22), obsessed with The Hobbit movies. He was older (50) and had a minor role in the movie, but I fell for his attention. We met, and in less than a year, he proposed to me during his panel at the HobbitCon convention. At the time, I was young, naive, and in love and didn't think twice. After I finished my studies, I moved in with him, leaving my country, my family, friends, and culture behind just to be with him.
Throughout our entire relationship, he never bothered to learn my full name or speak my language (Spanish). He even made racist remarks towards me, dismissing them as "jokes" that only he found funny.
But here's the real shocker: After eight years, I got a job, and it was brought to my attention by my boss that on his Twitter account, he had created an elaborate alternate reality for himself. He presented himself as a famous actor married to a "hot Spanish girl" (referring to me), whom he lovingly called "La Senorita."
While I understand that people often showcase their best lives on social media, it deeply hurt me when he started posting about my personal life. He publicly shared our intimate conversations, using them as conversation starters, and even randomly replied to other people's tweets using details from my life, including private DMs.
Throughout those eight years, he exploited me and my personal life on social media for follows, likes and retweets. He aspired to be a public figure, but I was never interested in that, and everyone who knows me is aware of it. Consequently, my personal life was broadcasted to a bunch of strangers without my consent or control, all by the person I trusted the most.
He went to extreme lengths, using the deaths of my family members, personal conversations, my intimate life, my family's political views, and even sharing pictures of me. He would occasionally post our engagement photos to make it appear as if it had just happened, solely for attention. Additionally, he resorted to making racist jokes about my nationality. He even disclosed personal information like my childhood and where I lived, all to garner followers and likes. It felt like living in an ongoing soap opera.
But it gets worse. My company and boss followed him. He even tagged my company in tweets about my private life, which led some of my colleagues to discover personal details about my sexual preferences that I had no control over. And he knew that they following him.
I confronted him and demanded that he delete everything he had posted. I had reached my breaking point and ended the relationship. He apologized profusely and admitted to everything.
He even had the audacity to blame me, saying it was my fault for being a workaholic and not giving him attention. He painted me as a horrible person because he claimed he had already apologized and I wouldn't forgive him. I couldn't leave my room without him cornering me in the kitchen or living room, talking about his motives and portraying himself as the victim of everything that happened.
So, I moved out of the house we shared and cut off all contact with him. Fortunately, I found someone amazing afterward who isn't obsessed with social media, except for memes.
I thought it was all over after the breakup, but months later, thanks to a friend, I discovered he was back at it on Twitter. Unable to find new information to exploit, he resorted to dredging up the past and spreading lies about why I left him, painting me as a monster and himself as the inconsolable victim. He fabricated unreal stories just to engage with people on any subject, all while involving me against my will.
He apologized profusely in private and admitted to everything.
However, publicly, he now claims that I left him just a month after I got my visa. In reality, I received my visa in October 2020 and broke up with him in December 2021, a whole year later. It had nothing to do with another person but rather the situation I had endured. His story transformed from me leaving after I got my visa to me cheating for years and then leaving when I got my visa.
(Screenshot of my visa)
There are even people saying that if I haven't returned to my country, it's because I only wanted the visa. The truth is, I left my country after I finished my studies. Over the last 8 years, now 10, I made New Zealand my home, found a job, made friends, adopted pets, and built a life here. This is my home, and I do not deserve to be punished for his actions on top of having my right to a private life revoked.
Thankfully, I have screenshots of everything. I confronted him on Facebook after discovering his tweets, and he ended up deleting everything about me from Twitter and blocking me. I made it clear that any further posts about me would result in me publicly exposing him on my own Facebook, so our mutual friends could see his true colors.
However, almost two years later (yesterday) I learned that he created an account on CounterS, and he's becoming even more imaginative with his lies.
Unfortunately, when I tried to confront him there, my account got deleted because he and the platform's creator are friends. He deleted the post I replied to and complained that I wouldn't let him be, and that he has moved on. Even though he keeps posting about me. He posted about how horrible I am, and when he was reprimanded for it, he blamed me, saying he has "obviously" moved on.
CounterS banned me for defending myself, and I didn't receive any support from Twitter or CounterS, despite reporting the issue with screenshots.
I don't care how much he wants to fictionalize his own life if he wants to, but he has no right to exploit mine. He has blocked me on all platforms, and honestly, I'm relieved about that. However, I don't want him to continue tarnishing my name on online platforms where I have no control over what is posted or power to delete. He has said horrible things about me, violated my privacy and trust for years, and this needs to stop.
For the past 10 years, every time he creates a new social media account, I find myself unwillingly dragged into it. I used to love sharing my art online, had a Patreon, and was actively involved in online events and conventions. But because of what he did, I had to quit social media. He wasn't shy about sharing my art page, so everyone knew who I was. We have mutual followers and friends. Anxiety problems have prevented me from drawing or being active online. Just the thought of what my followers could know about me without my consent has destroyed me. It has been an incredibly humiliating experience, and I've severed ties with my best online friends because sometimes, it's even difficult to open a public chat.
Now, I keep my only social media account private to communicate with my overseas family, avoiding any public sharing that he could exploit.
Everything people have learned about me on Twitter has been against my will and without my knowledge. I desperately want him to stop. Let me make this clear: I have screenshots to support my claims.
If anyone has doubts or wants more information, my DMs are open.
All I want is for him to leave me alone and for my side of the story to be heard. It has come to this level of exposure just so I can make it stop and finally find peace. I simply want to move on without having to live with people knowing about things I haven't personally shared.
Thank you for reading.