I want to go home

But there’s no home 22 yo, they/them

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I feel like an addict. I was ⭐ for three weeks cause I was stressed then had two normal weeks and now I just don't want to think about things and focus on not eating jest to relive myself. What's wrong with me?

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Daily reminder your mom won’t love you more if you’ll be sicker. I promise. Being skinny won’t solve your problems.

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When I was going to the hospital for the first time she started caring for me after all those years but only for a while. She said she would change. Even though I didn’t asked for she promised me she would go to a rehab. I didn’t believe her from the start but it hurts either way. When I called her from the hospital two months later she didn’t even cared to ask me how I feel. She just went on talking how stressed she is because all of that. She was only thinking about how it affects her. She forgot about me once again.

Do you know what is worst? It won’t change. I just need to accept it. My mom is like that. I will always feel that empty place in my heart when I should carry home. But it was no home back then when I was a child, then a teen. There’s no home now and it will not be in the future. I have what I have.

I can recover, go on with my life and find peace but at my worst I will be always crying for home and for the mom I’ve never had. But it’s okay. I’m an adult now. I can build a house of my own and be happy most of my days.

My therapist used to say we have that wonderful ability to give other what we lacked and I lacked love.

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Daily reminder your mom won’t love you more if you get sicker. I promise. Being skinny won’t solve your problems.

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Stop pretending like it’s about loosing weight. If it was you would be in a healthy deficit not starving yourself. It’s about something else.

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snack time

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why am I so freaking hungry

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Twilight meals

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How did I become afraid of food again? I just have tried to lost some weight. I made noodles (374 c in two portions). I already ate one and I feel horrible. Like my mind can't understand that konjac noodles are low c. Maybe I’m just tired. I’ve had amazing but busy weekend and I have a lot of stress at uni. I just don’t want to hate myself all over again.

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151¢ and 20g of protein!

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I'm looking for a wl partner! PL/ENG

about me:

🌸 22 yo, they/them (on/jego), neurodivergent queer

🌸 Student

🌸 I read a lot, sometimes I write fiction

🌸 Obsessed about The Twilight Saga, Young Royals and my cats

🌸 I like to climb trees and I really enjoy nature

🦋 Hight: 170, HW: 84, LW: 55, SW: 77,8 CW: ? GW: 69

🦋 I've been in therapy for a long time and I know that my r€\@p$3 might be caused by stress and need of control and there's a way to overcome it but for now I like things as they are.

looking for:

🖤 Someone my age (over 20) who want to share wl journey. We can f@$t together, motivate and support each other.

It is very important to me that the other person is not close to 💀 from A and not planning to 💀 themselve. I don't want to cause anyone any suffering. If this applies to you, get help! Stay safe.

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Nie mam dostępu do wagi, więc zacząłem sobie robić codzienne zdjęcia przed lustrem. Ciekawe kiedy zobaczę efekty

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What do you eat after the end of f@st to not gain it back?

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35h of the f@st. It's time for a tea (⁠｡⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠｡⁠)

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Green tea wasn't the best idea but I'm on hour 40 and still dancin'

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Drinking Lemon Pepsi Zero to celebrate my 48 h of f@st. That's the longest one in my life (I feel okay but remember to stop if you feel bad!! It isn't worth it!)

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Almost 68 h!

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I did it!! 75h!!! It's time for a veggie broth!

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When my therapist saw me today she said I look skinnier and ask me why I’m not eating. How she knew it? We saw each other a week ago. Did I lost that much or she has just had a feeling? Anyway I told her I just have tighter clothes today (it was true) and it was enough for today.

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35h of the f@st. It's time for a tea (⁠｡⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠｡⁠)

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Green tea wasn't the best idea but I'm on hour 40 and still dancin'

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Drinking Lemon Pepsi Zero to celebrate my 48 h of f@st. That's the longest one in my life (I feel okay but remember to stop if you feel bad!! It isn't worth it!)

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Almost 68 h!