nerds

[commanderintheflames-blog]

does a thing

Well then, you’re probably not going to believe what happened today. In fact, there is no ‘probably’ you’re 100% guarenteed to think I’m making this all up. Well, opinion discarded. Hah, take THAT you...person I have never met and probably never will.

Now, someone I know of had recently explained their dislike of ‘monster girls’ which is either something from some action comic somewhere, or Greek mythology, and in their words subtlely advised me that I too should dislike monster girls. As much as I fuck around typing stuff on Tumblr, my mind isn’t quite as malleable as the rest of them, so I rejected the idea of disliking something I had never met.

At that point, the doorbell rang. Not liking to be disturbed but wanting to know who wanted what off me I foolishly decided to answer the door. What I found at the other side of the door was...erm, I shit you not, a dark blue skinned girl with some sort of tribal outfit and headdress. At first I thought it was a cosplayer who was going to attend some convention and got very very lost. But no, before I could get any more words in edgeways she started harping on in a shrill voice about how something-something from some ancient land is doing ancient evil and only I can stop it. Thinking it was some prank thing for some ‘comedy’ programme I tried not to act too confused, thinking maybe if I stood there looking relatively bored, it would go away.

I was wrong, of course, and after a few minutes my ears were starting to hurt and she would still not shut the everloving fuck up. I had no clue what she was on about, what this ‘quest’ was, or why I should be even standing there hearing her out, so, unwisely I went and slammed the door on her. She kicked the door down (rude as fuck imo) berated me for my insolence and began swirling her hands about to cast some spell on me (given the neon green and pink light emitting from them, and I’ve seen a lot of spells in my time) which at that point, I had grown completely tired of her continued existence.

Tapping two Islands, I cast Counterspell on her little light show, picked up the unhinged, damaged door and slammed her in her Smurf Queen lookalike face and stormed off back upstairs to my computer.

Fucking monster girls. I hate monster girls so god damn much.

[commanderintheflames-blog]

And an accompanying picture, which had the original filename of "Is Dark Souls the Dark Souls of Dark Souls"?

They should make a Dark Souls 3 someday, but make it for the Nintendo Wii U and drop the difficulty down to Pokemon XY levels of easymode. There'd be heads on poles, guarenteed

[commanderintheflames-blog]

"Enjoy your Monday, normie."

Was the first thing I thought when I looked at the computer's clock a few minutes ago. Sunday 10PM or around that, after spending half the day resisting simply trying to recoup some vague lifeforce after the brilliant idea of sleeping for 14 hours straight after being awake for 24. Didn't work out of course, but at least it got me up at a decent time. To think "Enjoy your monday, normie" is a /r9k/ thing, and god knows why I keep making reference to there, which is at this point a genuine shithole. The other 'to think' is that I'm writing this on Tumblr, which is...well, /r9k/ but for the complete opposite gender...erm, sometime gender. Social construct etc. etc.

Granted I was going to updating this on cooldown for a couple days but realistically I have nothing better to do, and neither do you. Unless you're over in a country with a 8 hour timezone difference and you are for whatever reason reading this during work hours (why?) then I stand corrected don't I? Eh.

Spent maybe more time than I should have designing a "Showderp TCG" and I have to say, bloody hell no wonder all of these new TCGs keep popping up at my local LGS and wanting to siphon money off the peanut gallery, they're pretty easy to design - granted balancing is harder and its only ever going to be some daft idea of mine that a select few others from SD will entertain, but to recall that one quote I saw, "great minds discuss ideas." (the other parts were "good minds discuss events, small minds discuss people" slamming every single Cosmopolitan reader ever) and you have to keep your creativity bone alive somehow. Just not via a comic starring a Sonic and Pikachu fusion. CWC reference done with, as is this blog update. Bye.

[commanderintheflames-blog]

Giving silly names to your travelling party in Oregon Trail can lead to some rather hilarious happenings when the game's RNG decides to throw a spanner in the works.

Oh, and a joke. What do you call an aquatic reptile that goes around terrorizing autistic feminists in the middle of the night?

A GamerGator. Ye I know. Old news.

[commanderintheflames-blog]

INTRUDER DETECTED BEEP BEEP BEEP

YES THIS IS TUMBLE

You have reached the Tumble of CommanderInTheFlames.

Wait...Hang on.

What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here. Probably. Maybe not anyway. Well I probably was showing it off, in a sort of "hey look at all this stupid shit I wrote in this spare time of mine." It's...not exactly War and Peace is it? Ehh.

Okay so it's REALLY incoherent many sausages in a sort of a sense yes sense not sense incoherent sense.

*quality control*

Yea we're approaching Bo Selecta levels of moronic random humour here, just lacking the frequent and mirthless swearing you find on there. So enough of that. 

"So what was the point of you posting this then?"

I don't know, why did you read it? Because it might have been good for a laugh? Ehh if you're into that sort of thing. Because it got posted on a /b/ cringe thread by someone I upset? Maybe, no one over the age of nine visits /b/ nowadays. Good ol' days blah blah blah.

Anyway I'm out of ideas now so I'll continue making less sense than Jonathan McIntosh another time. Bye.

[commanderintheflames-blog]

CITF why the fuck were you on that hashtag

I just wanted to harness libtard logic for half a second and throw it back at them

funny isn't it

no?

ok

[commanderintheflames-blog]

Oh and reminds me

One of the guys at my local games store said the only thing on Tumblr is porn. He hasn't even acknowledge the edgy teenagers who identify as cardboard boxes and hate literally everything except ebola-suffering (Good luck Ebola-Chan, oh wait /pol/ got bored of you. gg rofl) paralysed from the neck down asthmatic...erm...

Hey tumblr. What's the least, erm, *cough cough* privileged type of person out there? Actually don't answer because I don't care. Let's say its a skeleton. Yes, a skeleton. Skeletons are now the most oppressed and least privilege, all of those scum who aren't skeletons. They are not anywhere near SPOOKY enough.

Oh, silly me is getting sidetracked.

Anyway, guy at my local games store doesn't even know your demented muh individuality blogs exist and instead thinks Tumblr is 99.9% porn dumps. Get it together cardboard boxkin, the world doesn't realise you're a very, very, very, very, very small, edgy and neurotic minority.

No I'm not encouraging you. Fuck off.

[commanderintheflames-blog]

Aight.

So I forgot I had this for the longest while, and apart from throwing the link of it around on a couple misc. websites in vague hopes of people going "ey CITF this is pretty funny haha" for the sole purpose of ego feeding it's been somewhat useless. Which is not going to change.

Of course theres been a couple isolated incidents of people re-linking it and going "autism!!!!" because whatever you don't like = autism according to the underage on Reddit and 4chan but eh fuck em they'll never achieve anything. Whether its circlejerking your PC opinion in Muh Upvotes: The Circlejerk or Castle Lololols of Internet Troles. To think some people still believing trolling is a thing.

Aie, now I sound like Chris-Chan, who mentions the omnipotent army of Trolls (always capitalized, never just 'trolls') inbetween sperging out over Sanic's arm colours. Well not sperging out, complete and utter autist rage.

Brb, calling someone.

"DON'T CALL ANYBODY!" - Chris-Chan

Bit late for that. Nice wig though.

I tell you what gave me a good laugh though, that whole 'getting racists fired' thing - kind of funny how Tumblr claims to be the complete opposite of 4chan (muh triggers!) when they do the same thing.

I'll tell you a secret though. Getting racists fired can be used as your personal army. How? Find someone you don't like. Steven Arseend on MyFace who stole your crush at college and you're STILL fucking bitter about it? Time to get revenge you pathetic beta faggot.

Make a new account (or one on Twitbook) with the name Steven Arseend, a picture of his face and pinch any details from his profile. Go on a random part of either site, go "I hate niggers!" (Or LGBTQPOCASBCDEFG as of the latest non-offending Tumblr-approved term)  and watch as the ebin GRF kiddies try to make a mess. They'll send a bunch of pissy letters to the boss of the engineering company Steven Arseend is at, which just like the janitors on 4chan, they do it for free! And ta-da, you can now utilize this as a personal army, whenever you want!

Isn't progress great? And I'll put gettingracistsfired in the hashtags because heyyy don't complain you're getting attention!

Oh and Showderp, if you're reading this, assault vest limber ditto.

[commanderintheflames-blog]

WHAT THE FUCK IS A TUMBLR ANYWAY

So I was walking down the street today when these three white cis women (lol cis since an epin buzzword!!!!!) walked right past me, without even saying anything or acknowledging I was there. I did nothing of note to warrant any attention from them. Fucking whores.

but but but CITF you're sounding like the average /r9k/ user not all women are like that :(

NORMALFAG

So I was walking down the street today when these three white cis women (lol cis since an epin buzzword!!!!!) walked right past me, without even saying anything or acknowledging I was there. I did nothing of note to warrant any attention from them. Clearly justifed as they are superior to me

but but but CITF you sound like a white knight faggot that shitposts articles on Kotaku

SOGGY KNEE

So I was walking down the street today

Isn't walking great?

what the fuck CITF

West Philadelp...

NO

ok

[commanderintheflames-blog]

my response to people who say "nice blog CITF"

HAH

I POSTED A SNARKY REBUTTAL IN A PLACE YOU'D NEVER SEE IT

WHICH MEANS YOU CAN'T RESPOND

THUS I WIN

FAGGOT

[commanderintheflames-blog]

Y'ALL NIGGAS LOOKIN' AT ME FAKKIN' TUMBLR

Why did I even make one of these

OH I KNOW

Ebin special snowflake maymays

My preferred pronoun you ask? I'll tell you what my preferred pronoun is. It's Motherfucker. So, y'all there, waiting at the parking lot...

"Where's that motherfucker gone?"

"Motherfucker's getting lunch."

THEN BANG I DIVE OUT OF THE FAST FOOD JOINT AS IT EXPLODES, THERE WITH MY BAGS OF GREASY NONSENSE THAT ARE...not for me, I assure you.

"ahhhh butbutbut you're not meant to have one like that you're meant to identify as a cardboard box and have a victim complex"

FUCK YOU. I'LL IDENTIFY AS A HUMAN BEING WITH A PERSONAL PRONOUN OF MOTHERFUCKER AND YOU'LL ACCEPT IT YOU OPPRESSIVE POTATOKIN. (Surely 'potato skins'? - QA) (No, potato-kin. It's post-modern absurdism m8 its allowed - CITF)

also hi showderp I love you

[commanderintheflames-blog]

nothing interesting happens