Comment Wars

I can't change your mind in the comment section. So I'll rage about it here.

[commentwars-blog1]

Comment on a picture of Lord Dampnut and Putin shaking hands

Oh for fuck’s sake, man. Really? We’re talking a turd in a toupee telling the world that his national security advisors are dumb and wrong. And you’re going to call the Clintons murderers? That’s your go to here?

Please, state your case. And if you mention the word “Benghazi” or “email” I will nutpunch you.

P.S.

It’s murderers and Clintons not CLINTON’S.

p.s.s.

I had a crush on you when we were in middle school and now I want to get in a time machine, go back to the 90′s, and smack myself across the face for being so dumb.

[commentwars-blog1]

OK, SUSAN, let me start out by telling you this one super important thing. This ONE thing basically trumps everything else. You ready, Susan? Are you sure?

WHAT I DO TO MY BODY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

NOTHING.

NADA.

ZIP.

ZILCH.

You had a hard time getting pregnant? I’m sorry, that sucks. Glad it worked out in the end.

Guess what? IF I CHOOSE TO HAVE AN ABORTION IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU LESS FERTILE.

Second, pregnancy is not a gift. It is a fact of nature. Pregnancy either happens because a sperm and an egg met at the perfect time in the perfect moment or it doesn’t.

Third, extenuating circumstances? What if my extenuating circumstances are that I’m 21 years old and don’t want to be tied to my asshole boyfriend for the next eighteen years just because I got pregnant? That extenuating enough for you?

And last, people are going to have sex. The joys of being a human, most of the time it feels really good to have sex. (and if doesn’t then do it with someone else because sex should feel good) You don’t have to be trying to have a kid to do it. So, if you aren’t trying to have a kid but you still want to do something that feels really good? THEN JUST BANG.