Community Catalyst

Rules-Free, Hands-On Community Building

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[communitycatalyst-blog]

A new radio segment highlighting protests, marches, strikes, and people’s movements.

Listen in on KRUI 89.7 FM Iowa City Tuesdays at 5pm Central. Stream online at krui.fm. Here the podcasts here!

[communitycatalyst-blog]

Vanity: Like a Sliding Glass Door You Don't See Until You Run Into It

If you read my last post, you won't have a hard time guessing that the effective disbanding of the Diversity Club organizers got to me in a personal way.  Like many people who enjoy activism, I find that making a lot of noise is a real source of personal joy and group bonding. 

And I understand why people would want to not make noise, but I think the things that hit me so hard about the way this turned out are:

The way that it got derailed so fast and so suddenly. 

The way that it got derailed without group consensus.

The fact that it didn't have to happen this way.

Because basically, what happened is that an opportunity presented itself to settle down and let the professionals handle it.  Then a few parents decided that settling down and letting the professionals handle it was the best option.  Next, a highly-corresponding group of students voiced similar opinions.  Then all of a sudden, even without having been formally asked, it was just assumed that our work here was done.

It turned out to be a perfect storm: The lack of agreement among the students, the proxy-voting by the parents, and my unwillingness do anything that would seek to divide student and parent, all came together to make a hugely difficult, awkward, and crabby group dynamic, with everyone aware that this wasn't the right option, but no one able to stop it or chose another option.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that it shattered our group cohesion in the space of five minutes.

I'm also not lying when I say it hurt my feelings.

But with some perspective, I can see that that's a lame and weak response on my part.  I was really involved in the fight and I got seriously caught off balance when all this went down.  But what I couldn't see at the time is that I had other options for helping to maintain the group bond and for helping to segue into another phase of Diversity Club activities.  After all, it's highly likely that ANY lawyer who took the case would use our quieting down as a bargaining chip and (for that matter) we still haven't heard back from the ACLU.  The law is clearly already decided in our favor and so it isn't likely that there will be a huge legal battle about it, anyway.  But for the past couple of weeks, I've been nursing this little cry-baby corner of my heart that couldn't quit feeling jilted about it.

The other day I was griping about it to a friend who's a union organizer.  He looked at me and said, "I don't think you should be upset about this outcome."

"Why?  How can you say that?"

"Because now you know that you have allies, and now you know what they are comfortable with.  Now you know what they will come out for."

"But the fight's been abandoned."

"When you fight, you have to give people the option to drop out when they reach the top of their comfort level.  You have good allies who will come along with you when the fight is in a place where they can be a part.  That's good."

Damn.  He's right.  That is good. 

[communitycatalyst-blog]

What Honest Person Can Blog and Spare Themselves from the Truth?

I've got some pride.  So much so that sometimes it keeps me from telling the truth.  But I've also made friends in this fight and that's what makes me ignore my pride and just say what I think.

The last time I blogged about the Diversity Club, we had been virtually shut down by the School Board.  We had been put down.  Insulted.  Told to shut up. 

We were not satisfied with this answer.

A friend of mine put us in touch with a representative from a nonprofit group to help us with the legal angle of getting the club approved.  My friend and his friend drove two hours on a Monday night to attend out planning meeting.  They told us about the Equal Access Act, a federal law dictating that any school that receives public funding and allows even one non-academic club must allow ALL non-academic clubs.

My friends told us that it was illegal for the school board to deny the Diversity Club.  They also told us to contact the American Civil Liberties Union about the problems we were facing getting the club started.  The group, parents and students included, voted to do so and drafted a letter on the spot.  I sent the letter to the ACLU.

A couple of committed people, people who want the Diversity Club approved and are active in the fight, also contacted another lawyer about the problem.  This lawyer agreed to take the case pro bono--agreed to speak to the school board and, his agents say, to get the club approved quickly. 

But there is a catch.  His representatives made it clear that if he was involved, the ACLU could not be involved.  They also said that his involvement might also mean that we would stop talking to the school board and stop writing letters to the paper.  The impression that everyone was left with was: the lawyer can get you fast results, but you have to be quiet and demobilize.

I am not happy with this solution.  There are members of the club who are not happy with it, either.  And though a letter writing campaign still exists, we were asked to not make a show of solidarity at the school board meeting this past Monday. 

But the bottom line is that my best advice as an organizer only goes so far, and I must respect the will of the majority of the students and their parents.  I do not think it is the best route to go to stop organizing, but I am not in charge of the operation. 

So, we went with the lawyer.  He met with the Superintendent.  And, though I am certain that the lawyer will guard the club's interests, as far as I can tell, our organizing has come to an end. 

It's not that I don't understand the fear that motivates those who showed up at our organizing meeting, who had never come to an organizing meeting before, to urge us to "not get loud" and to "maintain the moral high ground."  It's not like I don't have respect for the people who have lived in this town longer than I will and will have to look their neighbors literally in the face for the rest of their lives...

... and I certainly don't think that the people who support this quiet, out-of-sight-out-of-mind approach aren't still trying to get their peers to support the pro-Div Club effort... but, I just wish I could tell them what every bit of my experience tells me: that when you abandon the field, you abandon the fight.  And there's a huge distance between a Diversity Club that is effective, and a Diversity Club that doesn't make anyone uncomfortable.

And, well...

I guess the future is yet to be written.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

The Maquoketa Sentinel-Press welcomes letters to the editor. Letter [sic] must be signed and must include the writer's address and telephone number in case verification is necessary. Letters should be 350 words or less. The Sentinel-Press reserves the right to edit letters without altering their meaning. Names will be withheld only for compelling reasons. Letters preferably should be typed and double-spaced. Handwritten letters must be legible. Letters will appear on the editorial page as space permits. The Sentinel-Press cannont guarrantee a letter will be printed on a given date, but may give priority to letters on topics of current interest. Letters should be addressed to Letter to the Editor, Maquoketa Sentinel-Press, 108 W. Quarry St., Maquoketa, Iowa 52060

I admit to being surprised that the MSP did not have an established letters policy when we began the letter-writing campaign for Diversity Club, but I'm not surprised that they have established one since.

This was printed in this morning's paper.  I respect the right of the paper to set their policies, and I don't see conspiracy here or anything like that.  But I am annoyed that we have to re-push the letter-writing message with more detailed instructions.

And I couldn't help but notice that they aren't taking letters by email anymore.  At the library, we send people their library cards in the mail.  Anecdotal experience tells me that addressing a letter is not as common a skill as it once was.  Many of the young people who come in react to a request to "please address this envelope to yourself" like they've been asked to float to the ceiling.  But why would they know how to do that, anyway?  When was the last time anyone sent a letter?  My point here isn't to make an insipid argument about "kid's these days," but instead to note that this change in policy by the Maquoketa Sentinel-Press does not come without a certain degree of generational bias. 

Maybe they aren't aware of this, or... maybe they are.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

Media Coverage for Diversity Club

One of the local TV stations contacted us last night for an interview.  Click here to see the video.

You'll notice that the superintendent is all over the TV saying he supports the club.  Where I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt at the beginning of this fight, I no longer believe that he is a supporter of this club.  Other people who are fighting for the club may disagree with me on that assessment.  However, I have seen no evidence that he or the school board are interested in adapting the existing anti-bullying program to see if the Diversity Club fits into it, as is claimed in this new coverage.  I think that this claim is false and that it is meant to make it appear that something is being done by the administration to support the club when in reality, nothing is happening.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

I am totally loving the groundswell of support that is coming to this fight! We DO NOT have to accept the rule of six people who don't have any idea who we are or what we want. We can make a whole new world that will astound them and prove all their fears to be nothing more than sad little vanities.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

I See Your True Colors Shining Through

Last night's school board meeting was an ugly display of moist-eyed paternalism and ham-handed small town bigotry. 

Three people wanted to speak: two students and one parent.  As described in my previous post, the public comments were delayed for 45 minutes, but we finally got to speak.  The first two speakers, a father and his daughter were given time to speak.  The same school board member who questioned speakers at the last meeting asked the same questions to the young woman who spoke.

When the second student got up to speak, he motioned to a plaque on the back wall.  He asked the school board if they saw it and if they could read it to him.  One board member remarked, "We can read."  The student read it for them.  "It says, 'Always ask: is what I'm doing right for the students.'"  Then he said, "Having a Diversity Club is the right thing to do for the students, so why won't you approve it?"

At that point the president of the board interrupted him and said that they had been through this before and they weren't going to get involved in an inquisition of the school board.  He said that he had already addressed that this issue wasn't on the agenda and that the board had not brought it up for a vote, so that was the same as a no vote, and that they were done talking about this issue and we should stop talking to them about it because it was over.

Well, anyone who knows me knows that I'm just not gonna let bullshit like that stand.  So I spoke up and reminded them that the issue could be brought back on the agenda and that any one of them could put it there.  Not having a vote is not fair to the students and it is cowardly. 

The superintendent said that he couldn't just put the issue on the agenda, that that wasn't his place.  I said then that it falls back to the board members to do the right thing.  I also said that they knew that I was right and I could tell by the fact that none of them are looking me in the eye--they all had their heads hung down.  The president said that they weren't going to bring it to a vote and that was just the end of it.

I said, "In that case, let me just finish by saying that your silence on this issue speaks volumes."

Then one of the members appealed directly to the students.  She said that they have to understand, that:

everyone is high school thinks that they are the only one who has it hard and that everyone else has it easy.  Everyone has it hard.  She said that there are people in this town that she is still terrified of because they picked on her in high school.  (ironically then) she also said that you get over it, it's a right of passage, and that your perspective changes on it as you get older.

when you are a kid, you don't know your own mind.  There are a lot of things you think you are interested in now but you find out later that it was really just a phase.

it was not right for us to try to force her to recognize a problem and a group she doesn't think exists.

Whatwhatwhat?!?

So, if I heard her right 1) queer is a phase, 2) young people don't know themselves well enough to judge if they are being bullied, 3) bullying is a fact of life so everyone should just get over it...

Oh yeah, AND 4) this school board member is a huge bigot and homophobe who thinks she's important enough that if there's something in this world that she finds challenging, she should be allowed to just put the clove-scented orange up to her nose so she doesn't have to smell it and look the other way so she doesn't have to see it.  And if people get hurt, such as life.

Well, I don't feel that way.  This blog post may not be as eloquent as some others i've written, but a little indignation is warranted, don't you think?  I had to go home and check the calendar to find out what year it was after I heard that nonsense--and the sweet, appealing tone when she turned to one of the students and said, "You know me, you've known me most of your life.  You know I'm not a bad person."

To quote that student, "yeah, I've known her.  That doesn't mean I like her."

Talking with the students later, I think we all agree it's time to change tactics.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

Shenanigans

So I'm sitting in the school board meeting right now and I can't help but notice that they are doing their best to make sure we don't get heard again.  Three of us are here to speak.  Public comments were supposed to be at 6:00pm.  It's now 6:22 and the board has delayed public comments and are listening instead to a guest who is talking about questions that came up at previous meeting.

Now, I don't want to be a big nit-picker, but I believe there's a place for this type of thing, and it's called OLD BUSINESS which usually comes at the END of the meeting.  Particularly since this issue is ALREADY ON the agenda later as an "action item."

And I wouldn't be so annoyed about it, if the board hadn't taken particular care to tell us that there is a public hearing planned for 6:30pm.  Public hearings, it seems, unlike public comments, MUST happen according to the schedule laid out in the agenda.  We were told that if this VERY IMPORTANT guest's comments go up until 6:30, public comments will just have to wait until later.

Seriously?  This guest just used the word "impactful."  Are we really going to have to wait for this pumpkin-head to speak before we get a chance to be heard?

[communitycatalyst-blog]

Running, Breathing, Catching Up

Ho!  I have been too long away!  Sorry about missing the posting last week.  I had stuff to report, but I think we all took a few days just to breathe.  I am going to take one post today to catch you up on last week and then post tomorrow to tell you about this week.

The fight to get the school board to hold a vote on and approve the Diversity Club continues.  The last school board meeting was on Tuesday the 26th.  We had contacted the superindentent in advance to let him know that we would be speaking and he had given us the usual instructions: teacher presentations from 5-6, public comments at 6pm and keep comments to 3 minutes or less.  When I arrived at ten 'til 6, though, I got a bit of a surprise. 

Two of the students in the club had shown up for the meeting at 5 because they were near campus.  They said that the board had called for a change that would move public comments up to the top of the agenda.  They had asked for comments and the students, uncertain of what to do, had stayed silent.  The board had closed comments.  (notably, the change to the agenda is not noted in the official minutes of the meeting)  When I saw them at 6, they were worried about what the change meant.  Could they still speak?

I told them that i didn't know but that the Superintendent probably did.  Teacher presentations were still going on, so I approached the Superintendent and asked him to come over.  The students talked to him and he said that he was pretty sure they could still speak.  I was glad of this, but at the same time, there was something about his attitude that was not only subtly non-committal, but also outright discouraging.  The students asked him about when the school board meets in the summer and what was the story about the school board elections that will take place this fall. 

In everything he told us, he had this icky tone that said, "you should really give up" "this isn't the right time" "this is maybe a question for next term."  The students picked up on it, too.  I had to remember that this is EXACTLY what he WOULD say--"wait" "go slow" "this isn't the way" "this isn't the time" blahblahblah--I had to remind myself not to take him seriously.  This is the sort of lame tactic that power always retreats to: appear sympathetic but be a road block, like a gatekeeper who wears your colors but bars your way.  Screw that.

We went in and the students were allowed to speak.  One of the students was very nervous, so they went up together.  They did an AWESOME job.  They spoke about what the Diversity Club was and what they wanted.  They said that it was not about just being gay, that it was a place for everyone who feels bullied and is open to anyone regardless of race, sex, religion, or orientation.  They said that students are afraid to go to teachers and counsellors with bullying problems and that the anti-bullying initiative in the school is not useful or relevant to most students.

One of the board members asked them what they wanted the club to do.  They said that they wanted to provide peer-counselling and a safe place for students.  They also said that they wanted to hold events to spread awareness of other cultures.  I was very impressed with the way they spoke and what they said.

After the meeting was over, we went and talked about how they felt it had gone.  They were glad to have gotten a question, they said; but they are annoyed that some board members were looking at their computers during the comments, and one was giving them mean, intent looks.  We talked about the importance of being present and continueing to be present.  We talked about the petition.  We also talked about the question of what the club would do and how to win additional people to our side. 

It was a very fun meeting, but I felt like they were a little flummoxed about where they were going and what they were going to do from here on out.  We talked about getting their parents more involved.  A few said that their parents were supportive, but scared.  Some parents, it seems, are being told by their employers not to be involved in the fight to win recognition for the club.  A childish, underhanded, and possibly illegal thing for those employers to do, but you can understand why the parents are hesitant to write and speak when they face that kind of pressure.

The following Saturday, we had a really nice showing in the letters to the editor in the paper.  The letter that the students wrote appeared as did two other letters in support of the club.  There were no letters against the club.  That was good news.  But at the same time, there was a sense that the fight might lag a little.  The students and their parents had planned to canvas and gather signatures for a petition on Saturday, but many of the adults were busy with a big event that was happening in that area on that same day.  In addition, the signature-gathering event they had hoped to hold the Friday before the canvas was deflated somewhat because of rumors it would also be Senior Skip Day.

I think I'm going to leave it here for the day.  The post is getting long and this lull is right about where we were at at the end of last week.  Catch me tomorrow and I will pick up the story.

[mohandasgandhi]

Fear not those who argue but those who dodge.

Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach, Aphorisms, 1905 (via mohandasgandhi)

it seems so apropos in light of the last post, no?

[communitycatalyst-blog]

To the misguided students of diversity at MCHS and their activist authority figures, I am sorry, but ['traditional two-parent families headed by a man and a woman'] [are] a proven fact. I was taught that in the very school you are trying to infiltrate.

-Letter to the editor, Maquoketa Sentinel-Press ___ This is a quote taken from a letter that appeared in the paper this morning. I want to set aside any argument I might have with its author regarding whatever he feels the Diversity Club has to do with “traditional families headed by a man and a woman” (as described earlier in his letter), and address what, to my mind, is a troubling use of language that seems calculated to shut down debate. In this quote, the author uses the word “activist” to describe the adults who are standing in support of the student members of the Diversity Club.  There’s something about the way this word is used that makes me think of a weapon—one specifically chosen to shame and silence. “Activist” here is a dirty word, as if the simple act of feeling strongly about something, and then seeking out others who feel as you feel, is somehow a deed worthy of suspicion.  As if the honest act of clarifying your thoughts in order to be better heard and understood is a cause for disdain. I don’t know about you, but the last civics class I took (at an Iowa high school smaller than our own) taught me that Americans have a right of speech.  I was also taught, in that same class, the foundational importance of “e pluribus unum”--“Out of many, one.” I’m bothered by the way the author paints the “activist” adults as authority figures leading the “misguided” students up the garden path.  To say this is to rob the students of their ability to make decisions about what they want in their lives. Certainly, there are some decisions that are outside of the skill or wisdom of teenagers to make.  But I don’t think that asking for a safe, secure, and supportive school environment, is one of those.  It seems to me that their request is reasonable and nothing less than any adult would require out of their own workplace.   Lastly, why does the author use the word “infiltrate?”  Why use a word that suggests that there are “real” Maquoketans and “false” Maquoketans?  That the people who support this club are somehow not real citizens?  The paranoia is bothersome. What, after all, makes someone a Maquoketan?  Is a Maquoketan one who makes his home here?  Someone who was born here or pays taxes here?  Does that make a Maquoketan? Does a Maquoketan belong to a church?  go to a school?  love his mother?  love her country? By that definition then, all the people who support the Diversity Club are “real” Maquoketans… as are those who disagree with it. It seems to me that this author, more than making any argument against the need and/or merits of the Diversity Club is trying to dissuade people from standing up and saying what they believe to be true: that everyone deserves to live in an environment of respect, safety, and understanding.  I believe it is clear to anyone, whether they support or oppose the club, that this type of rhetoric is not fair play. Let us do away with poisonous, dishonest, and fevered language—words that can only fan the flames of incivility, anger, and violence—words that create distrust and tear the fabric of our community. I am standing in support of the Diversity Club because I believe everyone deserves a safe and respectful environment.  I believe that every person, even people I disagree with, deserve to be treated with integrity and dignity.  When I look at those I disagree with on the issue, I don’t see enemies, but reasonable people who want the same thing we all want—a happy, safe, and loving world for themselves and their families.  I believe that, as reasonable people, we can debate and disagree in a civil manner, and still make room for each other to live in peace. We are all better than this rhetoric.  We deserve a more noble discussion of the issue.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

"It's your right as a citizen of Maquoketa to let the school board know how you feel." -Superintendent of Schools, during a phone call to let him know there would be people speaking at the school board meeting on Tuesday in favor of the Diversity Club.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

Organizer's Report: Diversity Club

Last night we had an organizer's meeting for the Diversity Club.  There were 8 people there, including 3 students.  I am so proud to be working with these people on this issue.

I talked to the students last night and I found out more about what had led up to their decision to form the Diversity Club.  In the fall, one of the student organizers had worn a t shirt that said "I <3 Lady Gay Gay" on it.  The heart was in rainbow.  The principal of the school made him take off the shirt because he said that the word "gay" offended him.  The student was made to wear an oversized t-shirt that the school provided for him.

The students totally jumped into action then and held an "It's OK to be Gay" day, where they made tees with the word "gay" on them and asked others to wear the shirts.  They made a couple of dozen and they had so many takers that they ran out.  They told me last night that other students made their own shirts or wrote the word "gay" on their bodies in solidarity.  These savvy young people even got the press involved.  They said that the story was picked up by CNN and one of the adult organizers said that CNN was where she had first heard of the issue.

Suffice to say, Maquoketa, Iowa, population 6000, does not get on CNN very often.

The students also updated us on what was currently happening regarding the club.  Since the school board has not approved the club, they are not allowed to meet as a club at school.  I confirmed this later with a pro-club teacher who said that the club could meet at school, but they couldn't organize events or promote their meetings as the Diversity Club.  It sounds like the school is making a spurious distinction to me...

So the purpose of last night's meeting was to decide on basic demands and to take first steps toward our goals.  After talking for a while, we decided we would have very basic demands: 1) that the Diversity Club be allowed to meet regularly on the school property and 2) that the school board will officially sanction the group.  We decided not to pursue demands about a paid appointment for a faculty adviser, as there was some question whether faculty adviser's were paid for this type of work.

We decided that our tactics would be three-fold.  First, we will continue to pledge support for the school board if they act according to their consciences and "do the right thing" by approving the club.  Second, we will demonstrate our presence in the community by being visible and vocal about our reasonable cause.  Third, we will recruit others to our effort.

Following up from the school board meeting on Monday, I wrote a letter to the editor of the paper letting people know about the importance of the club, the fact that a vote to approve was not on the agenda, and asking people to let the school board know that they would be supported if they vote to approve the club.  There was also another letter opposing the club saying that "diversity" just means "gay" and that if you can't pray or say the pledge of allegiance in school, why should you be able to have a gay club.

The team talked about what that letter meant to them, and the students decided that they didn't like other people spreading falsehoods regarding the mission of their club.  So they wrote an AWESOME letter to the editor saying what the club was about and stating their demands for approval and a meeting place.  The letter was frank and straight-from-the-heart.  We also worked on a petition and developed a plan to launch a signature drive.  We developed a list of allies and talked about how we could approach these people and ask for public vows of support from them.

The adults in the group also had a discussion about what they could do directly to aid the effort.  After I spoke at school board six people have approached me to thank me for speaking out.  One brought me a gift in thanks.  Each time, I have asked them if they would speak publicly or write a letter of support to the paper.  Only one person has agreed.  Each time the prevailing theme seems to be that adults would rather use their informal social networks to "bend the right ears" to get the school board to move. 

Adult organizers in the group all agreed that this was the way it is done here, and one said she had already started to move in this manner.  We agreed that letters and speaking was important, but the majority opinion was that a quiet campaign was best.  I am a bit skeptical on this point, but I'm not going to knock it.  Informal networks and grapevines can have inestimable value, it is true.  But the streetfighter in me would rather see those boots out of the drawing room and down on the pavement.  I'm waiting, though, and trusting their judgment; I may learn something here.

All in all, it was a pretty awesome meeting.  We got a lot accomplished and talked about future steps for action.  Though we spent time talking about how to get the attention of the official press, I also spoke with the students about how they could do their own documentation and reporting of the story.  We talked about ways to get their story out through self-publishing in podcasts or zines.  At the mention of a zine, one young woman said, "Ooo!  I've always wanted to make one of those!"

Right on!  Everyone was feeling good after the meeting and I am so glad to be working on this project with my new friends!

[communitycatalyst-blog]

Pink, Purple, Equality, Solidarity!

so this was an interesting day...

tomorrow will be my 6 month anniversary--the traditional review day.  My official review has been postponed because of scheduling problems.  I'll leave it to my readers to decide whether that's a good thing.

Two weeks ago, I heard that there were some high school students in my town who wanted to start a gay/straight alliance.  The club began in the fall, has a faculty sponsor, has bylaws, and has expanded its mission to serve any student who feels like an outsider.  They have 9 regular participants (not bad for a small town) and are meeting regularly. 

The Diversity Club had followed all the rules in an atmosphere where an anti-bullying program had the support of students, faculty, administrators, and the School Board.  The Diversity Club had every reason to think it would be approved when it came before the School Board for approval in early March. 

It was not brought for a vote at that time.  At the next meeting, it seems that a single speaker, an anti-gay Baptist preacher in a church without an official meeting place, spoke against the club.  His comments seem to have spooked the Board.  They refused to bring the issue to a vote at that meeting.

The local paper has reported that, since there was a School Board member absent at that time, it is still possible for the issue to be brought up for a vote. 

This situation encouraged me and some of my friends to show up for the School Board meeting tonight to voice our support for the Diversity Club.

Four adults, three teens, two speakers, and one absent letter-writer joined the calls of two letters to the editor and an official editorial by the paper to support the Diversity Club. 

I had called the Superintendent of Schools before we addressed the Board.  I asked what the protocol was for addressing the Board.  I told him that I was organizing people to speak in favor of the Diversity Club.  Our conversation was friendly.

I told all the people that I spoke with that the focus of our comments at the meeting was a non-confrontational statement of support for the Diversity Club.  I said that there was no reason to get excited.  That we should just state our support.  I acknowledged that the board members might feel under pressure and that we should let them know that we would support them if they do the right thing.

After we spoke at the meeting, the Superintendent and the Board President said that they wanted us to understand... they explained to us that the Board had refused to bring the question to a vote... so .... it couldn't be brought to a vote unless it was put back on the agenda.  I told them that the paper had said it could still be brought up for a vote since a member had been absent at the last meeting.  I asked them what it would take to put it back on the agenda.  They said that someone... perhaps the president or the vice president, would have to put it back on the agenda.  I asked who we would have to talk to to make that happen.  The President said that really, any board member could bring it up.  I asked if more speaking to the Board would help.  He said, well, that the Board had heard what we had to say, that it was possible for it to be brought up next term, or this term, or any term, it really is an amazing thing just to keep quiet and make them babble while they squirm.  I said I understood.  I asked my friend if she thought they would understand if I couldn't accept that explanation.

Because i don't accept it.  They are just saying that it can't be addressed if no one brings it up, and they don't have the sand to bring it up.

My friends and I regrouped outside to talk about our next steps.

We are planning a number of steps and have a meeting planned in the next couple of days. 

I don't know, man. I didn't identify myself as library director or speak in that capacity at any time.  But I really don't know how this is gonna come back to me.  I'm not afraid.  I'm going to continue to bring this issue to the fore with my friends.  I'm not going to feel one bit of remorse if I get dumped because of this.  But I'm just saying that, whether it was the memory of being ridiculed (for being different, or being fat, or liking girls, or for simply BEING a girl), or whether it was the understanding of the risk I was taking (and the weight of my debt and the emptiness of my bank account and the fright of being stranded here), my hands were shaking a lot more than I intended when I addressed that board, when I looked straight into the lens of that public access camera.  But god damn it.  I fucking said what I had to say.  And I'm fucking going to say it again.  And there's just no two ways about that.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

Click on the title of this post or find the article here:  http://www.shelterforce.org/article/2113/the_plague_of_the_nonprofits1/P0/

Being unemployed is a complicated thing, but it does give you is lots of time.  And depending how you approach it, lots of freedom. 

Since becoming employed again six months ago, I have chaffed more-or-less constantly at the regular hours, the tedious office work, and the spoken and unspoken expectations of a boss (or in my case, a board).  I am hungry all the time for the freedom I had before--the freedom to pursue my passions and interests at my own pace, the freedom to seek out new collaborators and friends, the freedom to go to meetings and hearings and press conferences (if they interested me) and to not go to them (if they didn't).

About 2 months before I got this job, I was in a round table meeting talking with a political candidate and I said that I thought I was doing important community work.  I described my projects and told her that it wouldn't take much money, but if I could just get enough to survive, I could go on doing this work indefinitely. 

Alas, paying someone a salary (even a small one) to just do what they wanted didn't fit into her understanding of the world and I saw her eyes unfocus just before she turned her head away to talk to one of the other participants.  Her loss.

Since beginning my job, I have sought out ways to continue my activism and organizing and it's taken me to unexpected places.  I've had the opportunity to receive training from a national organization and I've started building a team to aid their campaign.  Though I'm in a pretty remote place, I've been working regionally with interested people in different cities to get a US Uncut group started in my state.  I'm working with friends locally to support a fledgling gay-straight alliance in our high school.  I've been actively trying to meet and develop bonds with like-minded people across the nation.

But the question is always in the back of my head: "Isn't there a way that I could just take the plunge and quit my job and go and do community organizing full time?  There's got to be SOME WAY to make a living at this."

And then I daydream about writing some crazy grant or starting my own non-profit or doing SOMETHING so I can find that freedom of unemployment again.

And it was on one of those daydreamy days that a friend posted this article on his Facebook.  Reading it has helped me find a little peace with my non-profit daydreams.  It's also helped me focus myself a little bit more and shape my personal goals for all this allthetimedoingdoingdoinggoinggoinggoing.

The article talks about what changes happen when a grassroots community organizing effort becomes a non-profit.  The author, Mike Miller, director of the San Fransisco-based ORGANIZE! Training Center, says that when you move from people-power activism to project-driven non-profit work, you gain money (hopefully) and you can gain a certain type of legitimacy, but you lose the biggest resource you had as a grassroots activist--namely, the people and their energy and involvement.

The ways that he describes the work that's expected of non-profit directors (as opposed to people organizers) looks a lot like the boring, grinding, unexciting work that I do as a library director.  It looks very little like the vital, motivating, people-centered work I did while I was unemployed. 

Miller explains that, as we move from people-power organizations with a democratically-elected leadership and decision apparatus and a dues-based funding model, to a self-perpetuating board-style leadership and a development/donors funding model the focus of the organization's efforts change fundamentally.  What was once a group focused on challenging the existing structures of power, becomes a group that is focused on doing innovative projects that will stand out enough to win grants and will shine enough to reflect well on large donors.  What was once a group demanding change becomes an executive director asking permission to do a program with measurable results.

Miller says that he believes that there is a place for multiple actors in the landscape, but he cautions against moving too quickly to non-profit status for fear of losing people power to demand change and to bring about solutions that make the most sense to those who are most affected.  Non-profits can become more about one or two people's star power with little connection to the people for whom they claim to speak.  Also, executive directors and boards can develop an almost pet-like relationship with existing power out of a need to be unique and win funding and attention.  It loses power and may actually become:

the devil’s advocate in a forum that knows it looks good to let the devil have his say.

This is not exactly the type of barnstorming, fist-raising, to-the-streets activism that I'm longing for.  In fact, I have been involved with more than a little of this type of community work and it... isn't to my taste.

So it seems to me then that I shouldn't be so hasty to cast off the yoke of a day job to venture into the land of non-profits.  That maybe I'm in a good spot getting experience on both sides of the fence and maybe I should take advantage of the opportunities I have here and now.  It's also made me think that maybe I should study more about how to unify all this activism better and focus it specifically into building people power.

[communitycatalyst-blog]

New media rules.  We are having a poster contest at the library.  I've been scratching my head about how to get the word out.  Let's see how a cute text-to-video commercial works out.