Complex Normality

[wvnderlst]

Dolomites, Italy | Sven Verbruci

[complexnormality-blog]

I'm so overwhelmingly anxious. My brain won't stop focusing on the next five days when I should just be focusing on the next five minutes.

[complexnormality-blog]

There will be a time, a place, a situation where you'll have to respond a certain way, act a certain way and know what is appropriate and what is not. It's true we need as individuals need to understand that particular social etiquette and consideration for others....but never feel like you have to apologize for you are as an individual. It's not who you are that needs reconciliation, it's the understanding of others and how you approach them. Know yourself and never be ashamed or guilty because of it.

[complexnormality-blog]

Dog sitting.

So I've been dog sitting for the past few days and let me just say that it's been really nice. I've also realized it's completely possible for me to be okay being alone in my own place, but with a pet.

It's something I've decided and been set on for awhile now. Wherever it is I end up settling for some time I'm going to get a dog. Just for safety and to be "alone" without actually being alone. It's nice to have a dog around because you don't quiet feel like that you're the only living thing in your living space but at the same time, You can just simply relax and just be.

It's been quite refreshing being by myself for a few days. I was supposed to go on a mini vacation but this ended up working out to be a much better deal. I needed this, I'm glad I got the chance for it to happen.

[complexnormality-blog]

Someday

[complexnormality-blog]

You can talk yourself out of anything.

If there is something in your life that makes you so incredibly miserable and uncomfortable, change it. Tell yourself it's not worth it. Surround yourself with positive people, things, and thinking. Let logic take a step in for once and realize that you shouldn't always "let your heart decide"

That's a foolish way to life. There comes a point in particular instances in your life where letting your emotions take over is dangerous. Emotions are dangerous if you don't know what to do with them. They suddenly become your "logic" and then you sit there for three months constantly letting your mind spiral down and it consumes you.

Don't let that kind of BS destroy you. You'll know when it starts to body slam you into the ground and you can't get out of the choke hold it has on you. It wants you to tap out. You know what I'm talking about. Whatever it is, something will resonate with you if you read this. Be better than it, be bigger than it. You're worth more and meant for something so much better.

Never settle. Ever.

[complexnormality-blog]

Sleepover

Staying at my grandparents tonight. I miss it. Makes me feel safe. I think more than anything I needed a night back in the home I've grown up in practically my entire life. I have tucked myself away and watching korean tv shows and youtube videos since I got back from work. It's nice. It's really nice. 

It also reminds me of how much life has changed for me in a matter of months. 

But through all that I really appreciate knowing I can come here and just veg. I never thought I would be able to say that because I've felt I've wanted to move on for so long, but it does feel wonderful to just be able to not worry about anything and nestle myself into the comfort that will always be your number one home, no matter how old you are or where you go.

[complexnormality-blog]

It's still Monday.

I have to keep reminding myself to not worry about tomorrow when I'm still in today and to not let yesterday spoil the rest of it.

[complexnormality-blog]

I have too much anxiety for a Wednesday.

I'm an insane bag of emotions right now.

[sugarmint-dreams]

[complexnormality-blog]

Both of them were thinking the same thing, wondering why their relationship was the way it was and how it got that way. The only difference was that one was trying to figure out how to make it work, and the other trying to figure out how to end it.

[5789765-deactivated20200605]

[mememaster]

I don’t think you understand how accurate this is.

[it-always-gets-better-kid]

this is so relevant it hurts.

[christianslaters]

[complexnormality-blog]

Going through music I listened to in high school and it makes me sad that decisions I made when I got to college changed that, and I'm sorry that I forgot about it. Makes me even more sad to have ever stopped listening.

[bitterfox]

[seoul-souls]

These are awesome

[complexnormality-blog]

I have the pink one! My college roomie for two years gave it to me as a present.

[the-average-gatsby]

[cheekbonered]

The only realistic representation of how women wake up

[complexnormality-blog]

This is me. Completely me.

[complexnormality-blog]

I know that life is simply life but...

I really just hate having to do simple things all over again because of an occurrence out of my control. Simple things like having to change a doctor's appointment over the phone. I really don't like talk on the phone too much. When I'm in the mood, sure, but small talk over the phone to make appointments or get simple information is a massive pet peeve. It's especially annoying when I already had the wits to call and had a decent time in doing so, but now I'm forced to call out of my own comfort.

Yes, I'm being a complete child about the whole thing, but I'm more than entitled to my own opinion and late night ranting so you can kiss my derriere if you don't like it (:

With all that said and done I feel better. I can now go to sleep, which is what my biggest issue was about this whole thing because my brain decided to remind me of things that I need to do that I cannot possibly do after midnight because that particular part of the working world is asleep and would not be able to take any of my phone calls.

Off to bed with my obsessively analytic, anxious, over-working, cheeky (minus the cute and amusing) brain.