oh god technology

I can't sleep 'cause my bed's on fire. Don't touch me I'm a real live wire.

[sparklebog]

Didn't realize they made emergency thermal blankets for babies

[sparklebog]

It's scary to think about babies in an emergency but I guess it's a crazy world out there

Emergency baby

[fuckblast]

[Francisco de Goya]

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[lynncation]

post birthday happiness

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[pancakeke]

vaseline is op for fucked up skin but its texture stat is dogshit

[pancakeke]

[pancakeke]

we aint putting that on the chart, chief

[mangonetics]

yes the fuck you are if you have any respect for its inventor

[pancakeke]

OKAY FINE JESUS

[pancakeke]

tags like this remind me that this is the only social media site where I'll ever truly belong

[salvadordante]

The other name for Vaseline is evil tho. Petroleum jelly 💀

[pancakeke]

yeah omg some people were calling me out for using a "brand" but i am NOT calling it that. SORRY.

[pancakeke]

listen here, smart ass...

[markovchaingang]

of course, like anybody else would, the first thing i did upon getting my time machine was go back in time and kill hitler when he was just a child. but when i came back a cursory google search revealed that there was some other charismatic guy called jan krupp who staged a coup and took control of germany leading to ww2. so naturally i went back in time and killed him before he could grow up and commit genocide. but i soon discovered that he'd been replaced by another guy. so i continued on this path of killing and tbh i'm not sure how many german babies i've killed at this point and it's a little hard to find old german newspaper clippings from the ww2 period anymore because they underwent a population collapse around the turn of the 20th century. best i can tell it's this weird german serial killer they called "jack-of-the-cradle" who kept killing newborns. but googling "world war 2" doesn't come up with any results so really i think all i need to do is stop this jack guy and then that'll be mission accomplished

[conceptofzero]

coz i appreciate u but morgan already explained it to me. in detail. against my will. as i laid on the bed going "aaaugh i dont actually caaare" which didnt deter them at all from explaining. every single unit of measurement and their uses. im dead, coz

And I quote from your post:

I'm Canada. I explain.

[sergeifyodorov]

I don't read as much fic as I used to but one "tell" for non Canadians writing us, besides the etransfer, is the units you use to describe us measuring something. I hate to tell you this but The Chart is real and it's completely subconscious. Please abide

[demotu-writes]

ETA the chart (or at least a version of it):

ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").

Also, the length of a dick is in inches for SURE.

[conceptofzero]

To explain for the rest of the world: Canada's switch from Imperial to Metric was in the 1970s. As such, most of us grew up in homes that were full of items using Imperial (ovens, scales, etc). As well, since we traditionally have bought things manufactured in America, those items also come with Imperial units on them. It's the same thing with work - a lot of equipment comes from America or we work for multi-national companies based out of America.

We can also blame Brian Mulroney for pausing the metric conversation partway through in 1985. It was too late to go back but it did mean that not everything was forced to fully transfer over so here we are, stuck in the middle.

Check out the wiki for more weird edge cases such as land being measured in acres, and consumer items being sold with metric weights but in standard Imperial quantities.

[googledocsdyke]

remember when you were 10 and you would hang out with your friends in order to Look At The Computer together like you went to their house and experienced the information superhighway together. and then leave

[mostlybats-partiallyrats]

How fucking old are you people?

[googledocsdyke]

normal amount

[rodument]

Two absolutely normal guys

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[saint-vore]

if you're confused about all the pumpkins and ghosts and stuff, it's actually a sort of seasonal harvest festival in parts of the northern hemisphere. yeah, it's kinda weird to think about how it's autumn down there when up here it's spring, haha yeah imagine them all, upside down, and getting colder in october when it's just starting to warm up

and can you imagine, down there it's COLD at christmas, crazy right?

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

that's nonsense, why would it be cold at christmas, it doesn't even make sense? that's a festival about the birth of something??? obviously that happens in summer.

[taifan92]

Excuse me?! What you guys doing calling the northern hemisphere "down there"?! We're north. That's UP on a map when it's oriented properly.

[saint-vore]

what the fuck are you talking about?

[flaskrobonoid]

gen z is trying to cancel the mysterious and horrible obelisk im building at the edge of town

[pleasestopcosplaying-deactivate]

[humorfever]

This is supposed to be the llama from the Emperor’s New Groove.

[nosdrinker]

that is the devil and he is here to kill us

[robobee]

does anyone want to do thisbwith me

[senysti]

had to draw them

[jouster-ari]

[insomniac-arrest]

the heavy machinery when I'm on pain meds and not supposed to be operating them

[brosif40]