Confessions Of A Box Office Rep

My inner monologue of what I wish I could say to Patrons

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When a Patron doesn’t receive their email tickets to their email address, and you realize they are still using “sbcglobal.net”

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A Patron called about not receiving their tickets, but failed to look into the envelope that had their tickets in it.

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When a patron calls four separate times asking the same question but wanting a different answer

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When a Patron calls five separate times asking all the questions that can be found on our website

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When a Patron can’t decide between two similar seats

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“I’ve been a season subscriber for over 40 years!”

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When a Patron keeps calling me the wrong name over the phone, but they are too sweet to correct

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When I put the tickets in the wrong way in the BOCA printer and ruin an entire batch:

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“My wife and I bought the cheap seats, but our view is obstructed. Is there any way we can move our seats?”

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Me: "Could the tickets be under a different name?" Patron: "No”

but then they are…

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When a Patron doesn’t want any “nosebleed section seats” in a 1,400 Seat Theater

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“We’re doing a student rush sale!”

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Patron: I’d like a ticket to An American in Bandstand

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Me: “Box Office”

Patron: Is this the Box Office?”

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Patron goes to line designated to buy tickets:

“This will call?”

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Patron: “I know all sales are final, no refunds or exchanges, but can I exchange my tickets?”