CW: Talk of Hiding from ANTIs, Selfshiping, Dark Ship, Incest, Agegap, Adult x Teen, Student x Teacher, Co-Dependency
I hate LOATHE being in [Redacted small budding fandom whose media isn't finished] because a majority of the fandom is Antis and Darkship haters.
And it sucks because I'm not open about being a Proshipper and a Darkshipper because I get such bad anxiety that I physically shake and get nauseous over the thought of ANTI's harassing me and potentially doxxing me over literal pixels on a screen. So I hide being a proshipper and Darkshipper for both my safety and my physical well-being. (I have an entire second account here on Tumblr dedicated to just interacting with other proshippers and Darkshippers in case something bad happens)
I also selfship with one of the more Niche Characters in said Media. The character is a teacher/professor where the age of students is ambiguously written.
I personally HC said character to be in their late 30's/ Early 40's. While I (a young adult) age my Self-insert down to 16/17 because I can.
I also self ship myself with two different characters (A & B for future ref) from the same media because I look similar to them and could easily be their Sibling and/or cousin.
Character A and B could very easily become toxic and codependent and toxic with my Self-insert because of how they are written.
But almost no-one in [Fandom Redacted] is interested in that sort of thing. And I really don't want to ostracize myself further because I feel like I barely fit in as is. :(