Untitled

[i-am-a-fish]

I love salt!!! I love sodium!!!! I love sugar and I love calories!!!! 🧡🤎🧡🤎🧡🤎🧡🤎🧡🎉🎉🎉

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

i love your calories too

[i-am-a-fish]

SUCCESSFULLY CAME OUT TO GRANDMA ✅🎉🏳️‍⚧️

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

HELL YEAH

[mckitterick]

[rip-quizilla]

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

and i will too

[i-am-a-fish]

fun fact about me is I have no money. every month I spend it all on house I don't own

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

you sound like you need to build your own

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"king charles" im not calling a real person that it's 2026

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

if that fucking guy must be referred to, then "Mr. Charles Windsor" is the highest level of formality I'm giving him, and frankly I'm not sold on the Mister bit. eat my ass charlie boy

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

i know, god slay the king and all that, but we just call him windy

[i-am-a-fish]

we should be able to eat dirt with how good it looks sometimes

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

yes

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what if we kept lawns but got rid of lawnmowers. that could be so funny

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

lawns existed before lawnmowers, and how were they trimmed? by sheep grazing on them. let the suburbanites keep their lawns but every other week a flock of rent-a-sheep come by to perform lawn services. goats too! suburban farming

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

tell us about kudzu, gaud!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

my favorite "bad" dream is being back in high school. bc at first it sucks but invariably i realize "no wait, I already finished with this bullshit."

and then i instigate a riot

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

i wonder how it would go if someone did this in real life

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

that thing where you're attracted to someone not in a platonic or romantic or sexual way, but in an 'i want to read about their exploits' kind of way

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no i don't want to "date" or "hang out" i sort of just want to follow you around while you go about your crazy business. i won't make it weird if u won't

[articjackfrost]

Like paparazzi or biologists?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

or a child examining a really neat bug on the sidewalk, yes

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

virology students

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

so the synopsis of The Ring is: you will die 7 days after watching this videotape. my question is does that apply to rewatching the tape. let's say I watch the tape, wait 6 days, and watch it again. does the timer reset to 7 days? can I do this indefinitely? can I become functionally immortal by watching the evil videotape on a weekly basis?

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

science side of tumblr please explain this

[its-funnytwittertweets]

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

I only accept HOME GROWN misinformation in this house

[capacity2]

Everyone thinks they’re radicalized these days. Well start blowing shit up then

[sun-almighty-wukong]

im this economy?

[mr-deep-downer]

you’re this economy? what the fuck man

[ahordeofmandrills]

There he is! He’s the economy! He’s why it all sucks! Get his ass

[the-haiku-bot]

There he is! He’s the

economy! He’s why it

all sucks! Get his ass

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"i would find you in any universe" but it's very clearly intended as a threat

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

(stroking your cheek) i would find and kill you in any lifetime

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i would hunt you down in every possible timeline

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

i will erase you from the space time continuum

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

please stop forgiving my sins I worked so hard on those

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

“your sins have been forgiven my child” bitch do u know how much PLANNING–

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

“your soul will be accepted into the kingdom of–” I DON’T WANNA GO! BITCH PUT ME BACK

[findrahil]

same energy as the “i think it would be very therapeutic if god tried to pick me up and i bit their hands and scuttled away” post

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the sheer Be Gay Do Crimes Energy of these tags:

#my sins were cleared by the pope in 2018 #so I’ve had to sin extra to make up for that

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#Jesus forgave my sins and now the devil is asking about the gap in my resume

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

well, never too late for

Flex seal©

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*sighs* the garden gnomes are invading my dreamscape again

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

my armies have crept in.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

alrighty, pope's dead. share your most memorable Childhood Catholic Trauma in the notes

[ghostofafool]

The Pope died???

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no worries im in the process of confirming it personally

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

you, too?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*blinking awake* k who shot em

[confused-tapeworm-colony]

me