A Conscious Girl's Guide To:

I have decided to embark on an adventure. One that will test what I am truly made of and what I truly believe. A journey of meditation, introspection and exploration of self with the purpose of awakening my creativity, inspiration and appreciation. I intend to do this in real, simple terms by acknowledging, sharing and processing my fears, discovering and addressing my sub-conscious beliefs and breaking the habits I have built around those beliefs and fears. All while building a practice of meditation and appreciation to implement habits more in alignment with whats real about me. Welcome to my journey!

[consciousgirl]

Day 140 of 175: Bumping Bellies with this Beauty! I am so grateful that our baby already has life long friends with our life long friend's kids! #chosenfamily #lovealltheway #fun #joy #friends #mindful #beauty #preggolife #fun #aconsciousgirl #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #grateful

[consciousgirl]

Day 139 of 175: What is better than holding a baby bottle full of beer by a string for your husband to drink in front of your friends and family at a baby shower? Hysterical! 🤣 Thank you @dnbglynn and Robin for bringing us all together with love and laughs! #babyshower #babyiscomingsoon #aconsciousgirl #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #preggolife #cassieandlindon #fun #laughoutloud #lovealltheway #grateful #nothingisordinary

[consciousgirl]

Day 137 of 175: It's all happening. It's all becoming so real. I can feel my attention move inward. This is a time to be quiet and patient. It's time to take deep breaths and slow down. I have a lot planned in the next two weeks: parties, preparing and wrapping up work. I can't totally move inward yet, there is a lot outside of me that requires my attention still but I can feel a shift happen. I wonder how I will navigate both? #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciousgirl #preggolife #prepared #mindful #quiet #patient #thoughtful #mindful #slow

[consciousgirl]

Day 136 of 175: I have been looking through all kinds of Doula and hypnobirthing Instagram accounts as a way of getting my mind ready for delivering this baby into the world. Because I have been deemed "very low risk" Lindon and I have chosen an all natural approach to labor and delivery. This may sound wild to some but I want to feel it. I want to feel it all. The full scale of this experience. My body is designed for this and I want to breathe with my body and baby and be fully present to the whole experience. Now things happen and I am prepared to chuck the plan if I have to but I'm going for it! I really do feel prepared for anything to happen. And although I am excited to surf the waves of this experience my mind gets derailed from time to time. I'll hear a scary birth story or have a conversation with a very well meaning stranger who will lovingly look me in the eyes and say, "My one piece of advice... ask for the epidural early!" I do my best to lovingly thank them for their advice and then self sooth reminding myself that every one is different and I don't know what my experience will be like ... which means its just as possible that this could be anything I want it to be. This picture is from my doula's Instagram account. She is so great about advocating for both what I want and what is safe. I so appreciate her support and care! I would love to hear from you too! Would you share your natural birth success story!? Or share what I can look forward to in this process? I do breathing exercises and labor meditation everyday I would love to incorporate one of your happy baby stories or encouragement into my practice! Thank you friends!! #hypnobirthing #breathe #babyiscomingsoon #prepared #aconsciousgirl #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #preggolife #naturalchildbirth #breathethisbabyout

[consciousgirl]

Day 135 of 175: I take time everyday to read or talk to this baby. Auntie @karijoynorm got us this beautiful baby book and I held it together pretty good until I got to this page. I then took the rest of the time to gently weep with this baby. I am continuously blown away by how absolutely miraculous this experience is and simultaneously ordinary. How delightful to be shocked by my own existence! Can anyone relate? #preggolife #mindfulness #awakening #play #explore #babylove #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciousgirl #cassieandlindon #delight #lovealltheway #nothingisordinary

[consciousgirl]

Day 134 of 175: Aaaaaaand he's back! And I missed him! And he makes me laugh! I love him so much I think I'll have his baby 😉 #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciousgirl #cassieandlindon #lovealltheway #soulmates #CrowsNest2 #inlove #happy #healthy #play #fun #laughoutloud #liveoutloud #allwaysalways

[consciousgirl]

Day 133 of 175: I write letters to this baby almost every day. Today I shared a sad experience of finding out some really heartbreaking news. I wrote to the baby that is important to have your heart broken. The heart is a muscle and it has to tear open in order to grow back stronger. I encouraged the baby to not hold back for fear of feeling hurt. To not waste time or energy on protecting your heart. The heart is bottomless and each time it is touched it opens up space for more. So I told the baby to go and love. Love as much as you can and then love some more. Of course, this is really a message to myself, something that I needed to hear. How do you deal with painful situations? What's your go to for heart breaking news? #lovealltheway #awakening #present #open #bottomless #kindness #cometogether #aconsciousgirl #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciouslife #healthy #grief #share #questionoftheday

[consciousgirl]

Day 132 of 175: In a workshop today I was listening to some one's share and this baby kicked me in the ribs. I didn't move or flinch. I kept my focus on the person sharing and at the same time realized there was another part of me mapping the baby's movement. The movement was bigger, in a different place than I normally feel the movement and yet I was still perfectly present to the person in front of me. Emotionally present to what they needed, mentality tracking their story. Then I also realized that I was aware I was tuned into both at the same time. Just then, as I straddled the three points of awareness, I felt really warm and peaceful. Looking back on it I didn't identify with any of the points of focus, I was not the person feeling the kick, I was not the person listening to the share, I was not the person noticing that I was feeling the kick and listening to the share. I was no one, experiencing three points of view. It was momentary and freeing. As soon as I started to "think" about it the feeling slipped away. Can anyone relate this this? Have you ever had an experience like this? #questionoftheday #curious #peacefull #aware #awake #alert #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciouslife #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciousgirl #mindful #present #awakening #joy #lovealltheway #nothingisordinary

[consciousgirl]

Day 131 of 175: Today I was reconnecting with a client I hadn't talked to in about a year. Toward the end of the conversation she asked, "What's new with you?" To which I replied that Lindon and I are expecting. She was so happy for us and at the end of her exuberant congratulations she said, "I bet your mother is so excited! There is nothing better than being a grandma!" My instant reaction to that was, "Oh I'm sure she is thrilled! She passed away 10 years ago but I imagine she doing a happy dance some where!" This is one of the first times I can remember someone bringing up my mom, as if she is still alive, and I didn't feel a pang of heart break. I didn't cringe a little and think of some soft way to let them know she isn't here. In fact as I have been reflecting on that moment she feels like she is more here than ever before. In a way that client was telling me, "She is here, she is excited to be a grandma. She wanted me to let you know." I have been so busy looking for where she is not, I have missed where she is. I'm here too, Mom. I'm sorry I have been so out of touch. I think I have been afraid to let you back into my heart in this new way for fear of losing you again. I'm open, I'm ready, I'm excited to share all of this with you. Thank you for not giving up on me. 10 years is a long time, but I'm listening now. #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirl #lovealltheway #awake #alive #listening #open #aware #transform #mindful #bliss #mom #preggolife #intimacy #loss #greif #connection #joy #karma #alert

[consciousgirl]

Day 130 of 175: There is such an interesting dance we do in the world with each other. I feel like this quote really simplifies the exchange. I did a hospital tour tonight of labor and delivery so I know the process on the day. The woman leading the tour was effervescent. She was so happy and alive. She shared beautiful stories of falling in love with your baby at the moment of first sight. It was such a delight to listen to her. At one point I asked her if I could deliver the baby some where other than the bed. Her demeanor changed and she looked at me with concern and said, "oh honey... you are going to be so exhausted and in so much pain you will want the bed." At first I thought what a terrible thing to say, why would she put the image of pain and exhaustion in my mind? Who knows what I'm going to experience why would she assume that one!? Then I thought back to stories she shared of her own deliveries and I realized she was just imagining me having her experience. She was trying to prepare me for what she went through. Then I thought, how kind of her to want to include me in her experience and protect me. My heart opened to her right away. I smiled, put my hand on her arm and said, "You are right. I have no idea what I'm in for and I want to be as prepared as possible. Do you think it would be ok to deliver out of the bed if I felt more comfortable some place else?" She instantly softened, smiled and said, "Oh you'll be great. Talk to your midwife, she may be comfortable with that!" Who knows what she meant by what she said, that's her Karma. My instant reaction had me want to shut down, put her out of my heart but I found a way for me to open up to her and we had a lovely moment together. That's my karma. Now my game is to see how many more intimate, loving moments I can create like that! Does any one else make snap judgments or reactions like that? How do you work with those? #lovealltheway #happy #connection #joy #harmony #joy #patience #intimacy #peace #care #aconsciousgirl #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #karma

[consciousgirl]

Day 129 of 175: Yes, that is the ultrasound picture dressed in a newborn shirt, in a crib. And yes, I do sing and read stories to the dressed up ultrasound. To say I am excited about the arrival of this little dancer/yogi is an understatement. I can't wait to hold and kiss this baby. I'm looking forward to delivery, sleepless nights, messes, first smiles, first moment of recognition... life! I think it will be the most extraordinary challenge of my life and I know I am going to grow so much from my experience of bringing this kid into the world! And at the same time this baby will come when s/he is ready. Their entry will be entirely their own. Their temperament, schedule will be what it is and I have absolutely zero control over any of that. What an exquisite experience of powerlessness! I get to have all my wants and dreams and throughly enjoy them and at the same time I am not attached to them. This experience will unfold in its own way. This baby will come in his/her own time. My only intention is to be open to what ever comes and be awestruck by the whole process. It really amazes me how little influence I have over this situation. So I'll breathe, smile, relax and enjoy the ride. That's all I have control over anyway. How do you meet situations you can't control? #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciousgirl #open #relaxed #influence #control #questionoftheday #mindful #happy #healthy #preggolife #lovealltheway #nothingisordinary #weareone #momintraining

[consciousgirl]

128 of 175: Last night I came home to an empty house. I went through my regular bedtime routine quietly but when I pulled back the covers to get into the bed this note flew out at me. Before my husband left he tucked it in the sheets to wish me sweet dreams. I laughed out loud! Lindon always finds ways to make me laugh even when he is not around. He is gone for the next week on a bike back packing trip and although I miss him terribly I'm actually so happy he is out doing what he loves. He takes care of me, our company, our home, etc. He deserves it and I want it for him. I miss him and I'm happy he is gone doing what he is doing. His happiness makes me happy. This is love. This is true love. I feel so grateful, so blessed. And although I'm home alone; I'm not lonely ❤ #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciousgirl #love #cassieandlindon #crowsnest2 #happy #health #love #truelove #loveofmylife #grateful #blessed #joy #inlove

[consciousgirl]

Day 127 of 175: We do not know the gender of this baby but I do know two things... s/he is a dancer/gymnast/yogi AND s/he looks like the terminator 🤣 So what's your vote? Girl terminator or Boy terminator? 👉🏻scroll to see side by side #boyorgirl #pregolife #blissabsolute #grow #existence #experience #love #lovealltheway #lifeexplorer #laugh #play #havefun #enjoy #consciousgirl #aconsciousgirl #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #happy #inlove #excited

[consciousgirl]

Day 126 of 175: I'm pregnant and I can not begin to explain how emotionally intense this experience has been for me. At some unforeseen time I will transition from being pregnant to being a parent and then begins another emotionally profound journey. I can't wrap my mind around all this and I don't want to miss a moment. My story started long before I showed up and will continue long after I cease to be just as this baby's story started long before their conception. I have invited this new soul into this story with me in a way I have never invited someone in before. I'm excited, exhausted, in love, terrified, over joyed and completely awestruck all at once and that doesn't cover half of what I'm feeling. All while this baby dances and wiggles and giggles inside of me. It feels like too much for one body to experience at one time and yet I feel very comfortable with it all. I feel a sense of peace experiencing life at its fullest. This is it! This is life! Happening in and around me. It's absolutely exquisite! So for those of you that are mothers or for those of you that have had mothers how do you describe this feeling/experience of connection? What is it like for you? #question #curious #lifeexplorer #pregolife #aconsciousgirl #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #soul #newsoul #karma #connection #momlife #lovealltheway #learn #experience #existence #grow #blissabsolute

[consciousgirl]

Day 125 of 175: I am not a great patient. I'm skeptical, entitled, stubborn and self centered. I'm three weeks late in taking this glucose test. I asked my doctor why I needed to take it and her response was, "this is a routine test we do for all pregnant women." That wasn't a good enough answer for me. My sister in law asked me why I was avoiding it and I told her it was because I found it inconvenient but that's not true. I do inconvenient stuff all the time especially when it comes to my health and the health of this baby. The real reason is that I don't feel I am being treated/cared for as an individual. I want my doctor to look directly at me and the specifications of my body rather than treat me based on averages and routine. Also I am very mindful/picky/particular about what I put in my body so if I am going to drink pure sugar or get a generic shot of some kind I want to make sure that my body not only thrives from it but that it is also complementary and compatible with my body. I'm ok being a brat about this especially when it effects this new life inside of me AND I want find a way to work with the medical professionals in a way that works for them too. I believe they have my best interest in mind. I'm just not willing to accept everything they offer me without investigating it thoroughly or questioning the recommendation ad nauseam. How do you manage your health? Anyone else push and question at every doctors appointment? #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #aconsciousgirl #health #allnatural #lovealltheway #together #learn #healthcare #pregolife #mindful #balance #weareallinthistogether #healthy #healthyeating #healthnut #healthbrat #ilovemybody

[consciousgirl]

Day 124 of 175: My last post was 75 days ago. I have been quiet and I found that being quiet isn't all that silent. There has been a lot in my life that has required my presence. Stuff going on with my friends, family, our house, my health, etc. I'm proud of the way I have been with the challenges that have showed up in the last 75 days. The best way to describe my experience is I feel like I have been holding a tantruming kid, they feel hurt and upset and I can't fix it. All I can do is sit with them and love them in their upset and feel my own heart break at the lack of control I have to make it any better for them. It has been the most exquisite lesson in parenting and it's pretty isolating. The major thing I'm missing in all this is sharing my life with others. I had an epic dream a few weeks ago where I went to see my grandmother and asked her for parenting advice. She avoided the question but she sent a letter to a friend and wrote that her grand daughter came to her asking for advice on being a mother but she doesn't need any. She will be a great mom... but don't let her fool you. Just because she is capable doesn't mean she wants to do it on her own. She will want people around her. So please... go be with her. I woke up from that dream in tears. It still makes me cry to think about it. It's true, I want people in my life. Lots of people, often ... and I rarely give the invitation. So with the remaining 50 days of this pregnancy and beyond it is my intention to be more deliberate about inviting people into my life for the simple purpose of sharing the experience with others. Any idea where to start? I would love suggestions or stories of things you do to share your life with others. #sharingiscaring #joysharedisjoydoubled #weareallinthistogether #consciousgirl #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirlishavingababy #open #willing #curious #question #be #together #lovealltheway #laugh #love #create

[consciousgirl]

Day 48 of 175: Well, I'm exhausted...emotionally exhausted to be exact. I led a tough workshop this weekend and I laid it all out on the line, I pushed myself to a new level of vulnerability and I spent my evenings with friends that needed a loving compassionate ear. I engaged all my emotions to be as present as possible and now that muscle needs some rest. Best way for me to rest my emotions... being silly 😜 and completely nonsensical! Looking forward to it! #sillygirl #sillyface #lovealltheway #joy #pregolife #openheart #openminded #vitality #thefeels #letitgo #laugh #liveououd #aconsciousgirlsguideto #aconsciousgirl