"Right as rain, no?"

An askblog for Constable Wormwood of the Wellington Wells Constabulary! Main is @camotherogue, asks are: Open!

[constablewormwood]

Hello, hello...this is on, yes? Good, good! Cracking, if you will.

Before we proceed, I've got to lay out a few...rules. Keep the folks from gettin' too wild, hah!

One: While not safe for work (NSFW) is allowed, it shouldn't be too explicit! Keep it toned down to a...presentable level. This is to prevent making people uncomfortable, though I will keep a tag on all NSFW content (block the tag #constable after dark if you'd not like to see that sort of thing)

Two: Interaction by both watchers and citizens is encouraged, I do love a good chit chat with my fellow Wellies! (Read: Roleplay is encouraged! Do abide by standard roleplay rules however, no godmodding, story changing to a grand extent, etc etc)

Three: Enjoy yourself! I do aim to make Wellington Wells a comfortable and cheery place, as my job dictates I do! Have fun, but don't have too much fun, else someone may suspect you're a Downer.

Last but not least, let's all remember to take our Joy! Keeps everything running smoothly, and makes sure everything around stays right as rain, right as rain.

That'll be all! I cannot wait to get some inquiries and communications in. I'll answer your questions about my work, about the town I protect, about myself, my coworkers (though not too scandalous, I do care about their reputations), anything you've got curiosities about I'll endeavor to answer!

The mun behind this blog (Nikolai) uses he/him and it/its pronouns, and cannot wait to hear from you guys! The main blog for this askblog is @camotherogue , I post artwork and such there from time to time and would love if you checked it out!

[constablewormwood]

…

“Right.”

*fading steps*

@wellingtonwellspolice

He tracked the steps away, muttering to himself.

"Nosy bastard..."

It's not as though he was concerned for his reputation among these fools, but he didn't really need them poking around like he was some Downer if he showed discontent with his coworkers.

Constable Wormwood picked the displaced can from the floor and looked it over, before dropping it in his rubbish bin and taking in a deep breath. He could hold his tongue a while longer.

[constablewormwood]

What was that, sir? Care to speak up a notch, sir?

@wellingtonwellspolice

He turned to face the speaker, eyes briefly widening in surprise. He hadn't expected anyone to be standing at his office door, but he decided to quickly deflect.

"Hm? Oh, 'pologies. Jus' talking to myself, you know 'ow it is." Constable Wormwood chuckled dryly, narrowing his eyes at the one speaking to him. He put that cheery facade back on over his voice, that little trick he'd learned from the evening radio the host used to make it all sound right.

"Everyone chatters to themselves sometimes, of course. Frankly, my mutterings are 'ardly any business of anyone else's, if I 'ave anything to say about it. Carry on with whatever you were doing, Constable."

[constablewormwood]

After chucking the can at the wall and letting his frustrations out, Wormwood took a deep breath and picked up said can to drop on his desk. On the exhale, he sat down in his desk chair and pinched the bridge of his nose through his mask.

"I work with a bunch of bloody idiots."

[constablewormwood]

Afternoon Constable, lovely day for it. How’s the job going so far?

"Hm? Oh, hullo! Lovely day for it indeed."

The man turns to face the viewer.

He chuckles, examining his torn coat with disdain before returning his gaze up. "Job is going as it always does, bit more exciting than usual though! Do hope your day's been right as rain, of course."

[chippedquill]

@constablewormwood

“Right as rain! Right -as -rain, Constable!” The red clothed bobby replied with a tip of his hat.

“Had a bit o’ th’ rough a tumble eh?” He added with a nod to the state ode Wormwood’s coat. “Woz it a downer or a wastrel?”

[constablewormwood]

Constable Wormwood laughed, snapping a finger gun in the other man's direction. "Well don't you look well! 'e was a Downer this time, been a while since I 'ad such a feisty one."

He draped the ruined coat over the side of one of the chairs in the lobby. "Would 'ave been easier to 'andle if HQ put me on patrol with someone else, but ol' Wormwood was flyin' solo last night. Rotten Downer came at me from behind with a broken bottle and some frankly impressive strength for a Wellie."

Rubbing his knuckles through his gloves, he was still feeling the soreness from the fight through to this morning. No amount of salve would heal his wounds quicker than they would on their own, unfortunately.

"Put 'im down t' sleep though, nice an' easy like. How's about you, Constable Sykes? Any interesting 'appenings on your rounds yesterday evenin'?"

[chippedquill]

@constablewormwood

He chuckled as he enjoyed the visual of PC Wormwood putting the downer ... down to sleep, "well you did us all a favor then, one less downer, one less mouth to feed and body to deal with. It's not that we can't deal with em, but it is the more humane method to put them out of their misery."

He shook his head no, "I was just patrolling the streets o' th' Parade District. Beyond Foggy Jack striking an unfortunate who was out past curfew, it was a.." he chuckled, "silent night."

Sykes cracked his knuckles loudly, he cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders back. "I sup'pose, I'll be 'eadin out then, knocking a few of the wastrels and downers who get a bit too close to th' gas works t'day."

He nodded. "Aye, th' days of doing doubles 'ave been long over. We just don't 'ave the numbers like we used to. Not quite sure why, but I sus'pect it 'as t' do with the fact we're buryin' more of our own than anythin'. What with the ration shortages an' all, one can't live off of blackberry alone. Yet, I think, they think, we can." He sighed, pouring himself a cup of toasted chicory. "I'd kill for a steak an ale pie." He grinned. "Tha's th' god's honest truth."

[constablewormwood]

@chippedquill

He picked up his own mug off of the side table and raised it in a mock toast. "I'll drink to that. I'm sure the 'igher ups'll start expecting us to live on air alone, an' that's the day it all goes to hell."

Wormwood tucked the straw in his mug under the edge of his mask and took a sip, eyes narrowing in distaste as he realized it had gone cold, but oh well.

The mug went back on the table and he gave a courteous nod to the other officer, putting his wrecked jacket over one arm. "I'm sure I'll see you around then, I've got to be off to fix this old thing. Good luck on your rounds today, Constable." And so he turned and headed out the doors of the lobby.

[constablewormwood]

Wormwood storms into his office, slamming his fist against the button to shut the door behind him. The man hurls the empty grapefruit juice can in his hand at the nearest wall and letting out an angry "GAH". His shoulders heave as he lets out an audible snarl.

He stands up straight, taking a deep, long breath in and exhaling sharply, muttering something to himself.

[constablewormwood]

Afternoon Constable, lovely day for it. How’s the job going so far?

"Hm? Oh, hullo! Lovely day for it indeed."

The man turns to face the viewer.

He chuckles, examining his torn coat with disdain before returning his gaze up. "Job is going as it always does, bit more exciting than usual though! Do hope your day's been right as rain, of course."

[chippedquill]

@constablewormwood

“Right as rain! Right -as -rain, Constable!” The red clothed bobby replied with a tip of his hat.

“Had a bit o’ th’ rough a tumble eh?” He added with a nod to the state ode Wormwood’s coat. “Woz it a downer or a wastrel?”

[constablewormwood]

Constable Wormwood laughed, snapping a finger gun in the other man's direction. "Well don't you look well! 'e was a Downer this time, been a while since I 'ad such a feisty one."

He draped the ruined coat over the side of one of the chairs in the lobby. "Would 'ave been easier to 'andle if HQ put me on patrol with someone else, but ol' Wormwood was flyin' solo last night. Rotten Downer came at me from behind with a broken bottle and some frankly impressive strength for a Wellie."

Rubbing his knuckles through his gloves, he was still feeling the soreness from the fight through to this morning. No amount of salve would heal his wounds quicker than they would on their own, unfortunately.

"Put 'im down t' sleep though, nice an' easy like. How's about you, Constable Sykes? Any interesting 'appenings on your rounds yesterday evenin'?"

[constablewormwood]

Afternoon Constable, lovely day for it. How’s the job going so far?

"Hm? Oh, hullo! Lovely day for it indeed."

The man turns to face the viewer.

He chuckles, examining his torn coat with disdain before returning his gaze up. "Job is going as it always does, bit more exciting than usual though! Do hope your day's been right as rain, of course."

[constablewormwood]

Did you know that wormwood was used in alcohol

"If I 'ad a sovereign for every time somebody said that to me, I'd be a rich man. Very rich."

[constablewormwood]

mr wormwood may i please have a little kithy or perhaps a smoochie instead i understand if not though.......

"Oh? Aw, how sweet. You flatter me. Unfortunately I ought not do that on the job...but I'll keep it in mind, how's 'at?"

[constablewormwood]

greetings mr wormwood. do you have a favourite animal

"Animals? Hm, odd. Not much variety in animals these days, mostly you see the same ol' rats and crows. I do like the crows, they're very friendly once you give em a treat or two. The rats are well-fed if anything."

He tilts his head in thought, turning briefly to gaze out of the window with a hum.

"Reckon my favorite has to be cats. They got very scarce after the war, but there were still a few strays when I was a youngin. I always had a fondness for the creatures, all legs and claws they are. They getcha with those sweet faces, really. Only cat I ever got to know well certainly managed to, even if she was a mangy thing. All skin, bones, and teeth she was, but she captured my little heart. Loved that cat to pieces, I did. I'm sure she's got all the 'nip and mice she wants now."

A chuckle comes from behind his mask, wistful at the memory. "To answer your question succinctly and precisely, I think cats are my favorite animal. Crows are second, though, hard to say otherwise when they butt their little 'eads into my 'ands the way they do."

[constablewormwood]

how are ya doing, constable? do you like your job? :3

The Constable's eyes twinkle seeing the new correspondence on the blower, eyes narrowing in the slightest to show how pleased he is.

"Well, hullo to our first! Thank you so much for asking, I've been well. I 'ad a very pleasant patrol this morning, and finished it off with a cup of "coffee" at the Constabulary. Always a pleasure to be there."

He chuckles, folding his hands on the desk in front of him.

"As for my job, well, how could I not? I get to talk with the citizens of Wellington Wells, ensure peace and good will through the country with my fellow bobbies...what's not to like, my friend? I always find the night patrols to be my favorite, but daytime patrols are lovely when I can say hullo to the old ladies on their way to church or to the young men headed to the office for the day! A lovely job indeed."