Carpe Noctem

**an archive of my depression**

[consumingcorruption]

Everything is not okay

[consumingcorruption]

The worst part of my life is how I feel about you

[consumingcorruption]

“Stay in bed with me or go every where with me. But as long as you’re next to me.”

“Sounds perfect”

[consumingcorruption]

I always want you to think I’m okay

[consumingcorruption]

and just as suddenly she felt alone again

[consumingcorruption]

I don’t want to go out with him because I want to go out with you idiot

[consumingcorruption]

This stupid boy cares about my stupid feelings and today he was there for me and it made me feel all sappy and nice and he made me laugh while I was crying so now what

[consumingcorruption]

Unfortunately I’ve fallen suddenly depressed and cannot make to the event tonight

[consumingcorruption]

I get anxiety trying to get a therapist so I’m still just hangin out by myself existing in a very not okay state

[consumingcorruption]

I want pizza and less depression

[consumingcorruption]

Every week I have a “just get past this day and you’ll be fine” mindset, but will this cycle ever end? Am I ever really fine?

[consumingcorruption]

The way saying “I love you” feels beets everything

[consumingcorruption]

Your whole life becomes darker.

You start to suffocate.

Your words die

and your heart follows.

[consumingcorruption]

[consumingcorruption]

[consumingcorruption]

“He doesn’t play by the rules of cinematic romance.”

[goodreadss]

“The more you love, the more you suffer.”

— Vincent van Gogh (via goodreadss)