Writing fragments

Everything written is by me. #unsent series

[contemplatinglovers]

Milk no sugar

Love is already so sweet

[contemplatinglovers]

An acoustic journey strumming along

Improper dancing set alight

Faster and faster

Set this place on fire

[contemplatinglovers]

Heal by holy direction

For the heart is broken extensively

Calculate the bloody annoyance

Piece it back together again

[contemplatinglovers]

An atrocious ambiguity

Being borish but bright

Coming closer

Drawing dazedly down;

Eclectic evening

For falling

Galaxies go

Head high

Into interstellar insights

Jauntily jangling

Kissing,

Loving little

Moons much more

Nor nautical

Organization or

Pretty payback

Queer queries

Really rally

So smart, so small

Telling tales

Underwater, under

Veils, vindictive

Wails, wilting

Xenia

Your yielding

Zeal

[contemplatinglovers]

Sweetness is love

Understand my heart

So that I may love again

[contemplatinglovers]

11:37pm unsent

I no longer think of you in the depths of night. I don't think about your smile or laugh anymore, and I am glad for it. I'm so glad I don't hurt when I think of you or hear your name, I feel relief that that Act of my life is finished, curtain closed, audience gone.

I had hoped we could have worked. I wanted us to work. But now that's not feasible; I've moved on.

[contemplatinglovers]

The passage of time is tar, and I wade through it lazily. I've lost track of the strides I've taken. My legs are numb and I can barely feel them. Will I soon be submerged in the black toils that surround me? Will I willingly submit to the dark pigment staining my skin?

[contemplatinglovers]

8:34 p.m. unsent

You invade my dreams, nearly every night i dream of you. All of them nightmares. When i see you in the dream i can feel my throat close up and my heart start to beat erratically. I wish you would just leave, just go away and never come back, so I don't have to suffer through seeing you. I would rather not see you again and not have to remember small things about you like how you smiled at me when I wasn't looking, or your laugh when I said something stupid. I just want to forget, I don't want to relive it over and over in conscious and unconscious thought.

[contemplatinglovers]

12:27 a.m. unsent

I'm thinking of you again, and I wish I wasn't. Nothing can suffocate my thoughts from wandering to you and the words we've left unsaid to each other.

Our love was toxic but i miss it.

I wish we had had more time. I wish I could have loved you better and you could have been a better lover.

We both ruined what we had, and parts of each other.

I dream about you sometimes, but they're never good, never happy, and I don't gain any closure from them.

I miss you.

Part of me wants to see you again, but I know its not possible, so I try to drown the memories in work and music.

It never works.

[contemplatinglovers]

I've been seeing the "Attack a Muslim" day thing and all I can think is 'Why would you even think of doing this? Why are you so afraid of people being Muslim? What are you so afraid of? How do you condone going up to someone and ripping their religous clothing off their head? Or bombing their place of worship? How are you going to do this whole assigning points to actions like this is a game? Like these people you attack aren't real people who work and have families like you?' And I find it unbelievable and disgusting That someone would even think about something like this. It's 2018. This shouldn't be happening. I feel as if we've been transported back in time, like instead of furthering as a society we took a thousand steps back. And thats disappointing. Its disheartening.

And if this all turns out to be a "joke": its not funny. It will never be funny to threaten to kill people. It will never be funny to make people be afraid to leave their homes or practice their right to religion. Its was never funny in the past and it wont be in the future.

-From my twitter @MackenzieGascon

[contemplatinglovers]

You say we can do anything, be anything

Yet when we try to change the world

You stop us in our tracks,

Claim "you're too young"

"You dont know how the world works"

"You dont know anything"

But we do, we do know the world

-An excerpt from a spoken word speech in the works

[contemplatinglovers]

Its a weird juxtaposition when its raining but still sunny outside. The humidity is tangible but slowly slipping from your fingers with every drop that falls on you, and the sun is evaporating the water as it hits the pavement. Eventually one will take over, and you aren't sure which one is better. The blinding sun that will continue to evapotate what water is left, leaving the air even more humid and your clothes a little stiff. Or the rain will pelt your shoulders as the clouds envelop the sun, leaving you colder than before with socks soaked.

[contemplatinglovers]

Today it rained. But the ground outside is dry, the leaves softly sway in the wind, and the sky is clear. It rained over my head, clouded my vision with distorting droplets on my glasses, made my clothes stick tight to my body and hair stick to my face. My shoes are soaked, the water up to my knees. I can't move, I can't see anything but the water, constantly flowing.

[contemplatinglovers]

I know you can't say it every time we part or whenever you want to, but trust me when I look into your eyes or you hold me to your chest I know. I feel it thrum in my ear, matching my heart beat matching yours. Saying "I love you."

[contemplatinglovers]

And the memories of all the years past resurface again, and the taunts from the school yard and the couldesack ring through your mind, and you can feel your peers flinch or jerk back when you brush against them accidentally - see their hidden and outright sheets of digust looking down at you.

[contemplatinglovers]

The heat kisses your lips, making it's way down your throat, into your lungs. It enters your bloodstream through every breath you take until you are consumed, buring up inside and unable to do anything. It's not like you can just stop breathing. Right?

[contemplatinglovers]

As you wake the pressure of the humidity kisses you good morning. You can feel your skin's warmth radiating, and your sheets are warm too, and the blanket and the pillows and everything is warm; too warm. "It feels like summer," you think as you turn on your side and look at your door as the sun rises against your back. "Even though it's Feburary it feels like summer," and your eyelids drift back together and you're washed back into the ocean of sleep and timelessness. Until the breathe of an alarm or the light of the sun awakens you again.