nice person @convallarioideae - Tumblr Blog

i look like this

hey! thanks for reaching out. it seems to me that you're barely alive,

"1910s woman who is a shotacon for buster brown" - very fond of this character

i don't understand why buster brown was designed to look like a creepypasta version of himself

i think the phrase "god helps those who help themselves" is profoundly and intuitively evil - as in, it is an intuitive and immediate understanding that this is an expression of evil, i do not need to think about it - in a way that triggers sincere ranging disgust throughout my body, maybe the most cowardly, despicable method possible of reneging on the basic human responsibility to care for the well-being of others while generalizing it as a universal prerogative. it exists to fulfill the same semantic and rhetorical purpose as "if I don't steal it, someone else is going to steal it"

a "POST," is an affirmation of Satan's authority over this world.

i am aware of the fact that i will die at 63, maybe 52. the question is one of how to be a constructive influence on the world until then.

i keep accidentally entering intermittent ketosis because i simply do not have any interest in feeding myself - not 'feed myself properly,' but 'feed myself' period - during periods of living alone. health paranoia about the adverse effects of fasting / notion of burned ketones releasing cholesterol thereby raising my chances of heart disease are somewhat distressing, since my heart is essentially the one part of my body i am uncomfortably hyperaware of at all times, but not enough to break through the membranous layer of apathy and make me put any stock into the notion of 'not being hungry.'

i'm sorry about the things i say to you and about you. i think from a very young age i developed an altogether confused stance towards the notions of purity and reality. i could only ever imagine sex as a process of corruption and myself as a force of nature, and this led to the indelible terror behind the weight in your stomach you naturally don't have the words to describe at that age, although sooner or later, gracefully or not, enthusiastically or not, happily or not, biological creatures inevitably come to accept whatever understanding of sex they are given. as a kid i fantasized about being the perfect killer because i did not know much else & wasn't very smart. but it's only my fault, not yours.

it is difficult to try to remember these things now. there was a time when they were the only things in my life i held any real material recollection of, but every year they feel more and more like extensions of the visual snow expanding in every direction that immediately preceded and followed it. i know, i'm sorry. but i remember that it was difficult, because when we met eachother in that instant, i realized that i had never really liked anything before. i had to get used to it, but now i think maybe i shouldn't have. it was all so seamless before.

guy who is living at a time when a global empire is conducting and organizing a conspiracy against the human race and he spends his time caring about if ralsei is transgender or not

i remember, when i was younger, telling someone that i neither drank alcohol nor permitted myself coffee nor smoked and that i thought of these habits negatively and they stopped talking to me because they thought i was a mormon

i don't believe that all those bad luck things really happened to brian, he's probably just making it up for attention

it keeps surprising me how little anyone really even acknowledges Iran right now compared even to ISIS & Syria etc in the 2010s - but then I also think, i suppose i’ve got nothing new to say about it either. all that has been lost is any lingering fantasies about "democratic oversight"

even the "experts" can’t pretend to describe the machinery of this late empire now. it’s too far gone, the complete venal vandalization of what could be called "consensus reality" - something that used to only happen in far-off places and which served to stimulate comedic notions of e.g "slavic schizophrenia." the markets, even, refuse to acknowledge the looming oil crisis.

because so much is automated now, the President can simply say "talks are coming" in between exchanges of fire - forever - & the algorithm used to manage the stock market will automatically act as if "talks are coming" and analysts printing out their analysis from the algorithm say "talks are coming." & no one wants to make a bet on when exactly this fails, because if it fails, there’s nothing to be won in the prediction market. the prediction market will no longer exist.

unlike 2008, where "the system" & "the economy" were still distinct enough that people assumed that any economic crash would be, yes bad, but ultimately solvable. now- there’s not even the pretense of pre-modern monetary theory, nobody is pretending that there are limits, the infinite ability to degrade the currency is assumed. $350 trillion to 'fight communism' - why not? talks are coming, anyway. then we will bomb them. then more talks. just like in Ukraine. this is just a simulation for testing things. the real world is tangential to this simulation, if that.

the people who warned about the looming subprime mortgage crisis became celebrities. they made movies about them. they all became rich betting that they would fail when they did. right now, nobody is even willing to venture a bet on when this fails. therefore, we must assume that this conflict will go on forever until it doesn’t.

America will be the last place to face blowback too - destroying the global economy benefits America - so of course the only reason for an American to care, really, would be out of some sense of principle or duty. objectively, it "isn’t even happening." just finance your groceries with Klarna.

it will be difficult for the next admin to pull the wool over everyone’s eyes as they pursue the same course. but i’m sure it will be fun for AOC-anon style shenanigans where there’s an astroturfed belief that the Democrats are "fighting the Deep State." those of us who weren't quite around for 2008-2016 will get to see a re-run of the apologia used for Obama's imperial actions.

i am an empty room confusing itself for the person whose voice it echoes

in a fit, i wrote this out

sometimes i feel even less capable of self-expression than when i was a young teenager because at least then i knew what i was not, and at least expressed myself through one means or another, now i have gone and confused myself.

although incomplete, i was trying to get across this notion: before i knew anything about myself, i did not pretend i did, and knew what i did not know. now that i know some things i did not know then, the scale of what i might not know has eluded me. everything has become a matter of seeing it written out, but what is written out is not profound or helpful to anyone.

but it's not true, not really anyway. "i had at least expressed myself through one means or another" is revisionism. before the age at which i began to seep things out semi-animalistically, i had no outlet for self-expression at all. for a majority of my life i have been trapped inside my own body, with a nervous system that had been on high alert for years, judged and also judging others, psychometrically impeded in every fashion.

all of my memories are of the same room. what kind of conscience can emerge from this? i don't know what to tell you. instead of talking to me or reading me, you would be better off sitting down in the room

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

nice person