cooper

the pessimistic

[cooper-bishop-blog]

rileypark:

Ah, yes. Of course, how could I forget? Next time, though…I actually want to be on the car before getting the blame. Actually, I change my mind. I don’t want to be in a car with you if you’re going to speed. That’s even worse, because you know, yet you still do it. Well there you go, my biggest fear. Public school education.

You never ever let me drive to places, you always prefer your own driver. Which is very rude, by the way. Can that be my birthday present this year? Making you sit in the passenger seat as I drive? My birthday is in a couple weeks so you better think fast. I’ll take it that you won’t be sending your kids to a public school? But...not because I teach there, right?

[cooper-bishop-blog]

Riley ✉ Cooper

Riley: It might be, though I wouldn't know a thing about faking confidence, so I can't be for sure. You seem to know more about it.

Riley: Exceptionally low you mean. I don't understand how teachers can stand it.

Riley: Absolutely not. Though if they ever go through a rebellious phase I'll send them your way. I'm sure they'll love you as their uncle.

Riley: So sad. I don't think flirting with Gia would've gotten you out of the law, but who knows, she doesn't seem to hate you.

Cooper: That was the least clever comeback yet, Riles

Cooper: Uh, we get hungry tbh

Cooper: I'm a master at rebellion, I'll probably teach them before they reach it on their own.

Cooper: We would be really good friends, Gia and I. Think about it.

[cooper-bishop-blog]

Just what the doctor ordered || Cooper & Hannah

It came as much of a surprise to Cooper as it did to anyone who knew him just a little after he offered to take Hannah to a doctor about her knee. He couldn’t necessarily explain why. It’s not like he could use the excuse that he was getting out of work for it, considering he had just returned from a meeting in the early morning he couldn’t exactly miss. Cooper shrugged the thought off though as he stepped inside their apartment and he kicked his shoes off for the time being. He knew Hannah had to be in their room as he ran his hand through his brown hair, and grabbed a water bottle as he made his way there. “Hey, enough stalling. Let’s go,” Cooper encouraged after drinking from the bottle. 

@hannahbishop

[cooper-bishop-blog]

Riley ✉ Cooper

Riley: No, I'm just very confident that my version is better :)

Riley: Wouldn't you like to see that? Perhaps we should play truth or dare one time. Considering your salary, it's definitely not my calling either.

Riley: I sure hope my kids have a better understanding of the law.

Riley: How dare the goverment, honestly. You, not flirting your way out of something? that's new.

Cooper: Faking confidence is easy.

Cooper: Rude. My salary is...exceptional.

Cooper: Not when I'm around. Can I teach them to drive? Please?

Cooper: I mean...couldn't get myself out of the marriage law either so. Maybe I'm losing my touch.

[cooper-bishop-blog]

alex-temple:

Yeah it sounds like it.  I’m really sorry about that. 

No need to be sorry if you end up teaching one of these for me. 

[cooper-bishop-blog]

hannahbishop:

I did but I also know that ice only works for the first day or two. Now it’s just all pain. And I’m going mad.

I’ll take you to the doc if you want, but I could tell what they already will say. Plus, I’m not sure you would listen to a doctor’s advice. You’re that stubborn if it interferes with your day. 

[hannahxxswan]

How is it possible that I can go though like 15 years of actual hard and physical training and never actually hurt myself, and then fall down two stairs and completely fuck up my knee? It’s been three days and I am over it being sore and strapped. I mean it’s not actually fucked, it just hurts.

[cooper-bishop-blog]

Maybe if you listened to your incredibly smart husband and regularly iced it with some rest you’d be as good as new. 

[cooper-bishop-blog]

mrevanoriordan:

Can’t I just take them out in my cop car and class that as drivers ed? I’ll make sure they don’t get shot…

I’m not really aware where the learning would occur in this scenario but if you could convince their parents of that, sure.

[cooper-bishop-blog]

hannahbishop:

It must be your dogs, I know Sammy. There is too much of his hair on my bed to not recognise it when I see it. Yes well those are what we call the moron millennials and it’s a stupid trend anyway. I like to think that I could, why are you taking her side? When I move out? Is that a hint that I should start packing my bags? Actually that date gets closer and closer, when you knock my sister up I am so out. I don’t wanna deal with baby shit.

I don’t know if I trust your words, you could be just saying so to make a point. Gosh, you’re so bitter. Makes me wonder why Hannah nags me about it when you’re very much the same. I’m just looking at logistics, don’t be so offended. I couldn’t care less if you continued living there or not. Except for when you steal my leftovers, that’s a different story. Do you think I want to deal with baby shit? You should be in this boat as mmuch as I am. 

[cooper-bishop-blog]

hannahbishop:

Nah, if I get rid of you I’ll end up stuck with someone who’s ass is nowhere near as good as yours. Not willing to take that risk. Yeah, funny isn’t it? Don’t joke, you work in a public school, someone will ask that. And no, this is not an offer for one so don’t ask.

I’ll assume that;’s a compliment since those are the nicest words I’ve heard from your mouth to me. I will gladly place bets if it occurs or not. I mean...it sure felt like one so now I’ve been fooled into thinking I could actually get one which isn’t very nice. 

[cooper-bishop-blog]

alex-temple:

Why doesn’t the PE guy teach the sex education class? Isn’t that a part of their job?

He’s “too focused” and “busy” on making sure the kids are active often in their day. Turns out he’s a real great bulshitter. 

[cooper-bishop-blog]

juleskslater:

You don’t like popcorn at all or just like crazy popcorns?

Anything that’s just a bunch of crumbled up cardboard, basically. 

[cooper-bishop-blog]

dorffmatt:

You did? I can’t picture you taking care of animals. You don’t care about other people’s dogs? What kind of monster are you!? I dunno school was pretty bad. But then college was pretty fun, so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to think about education? Not a morning person, dude so I can’t tell you I’m excited whenever I have to work early shifts. I’m going to choose to be lame this time dude, cause I don’t know how much I can say before the betas are out. You know I’m going to force you play them anyway.

Look dude, I was a different guy as a kid. Don’t judge me. I’m just saying my dog is superior to all dogs. You obviously enjoyed college because you’re studying what you liked. And the partying. I’m surprised you’re not a morning person. You of all people would try to convince me that it’s nice and shit. Way to be a disappointment in my day. Even if it’s shitty?

[cooper-bishop-blog]

ryan-andersen:

GIMME SEX ED!!

I mean it, I’d be so good at teaching that. Have you seen the couch in mean girls? I could so do an upgraded version of him. Please you know, I can do some gay sex ed. And just let some teenage boy try and laugh at the word ‘penis‘ in my class. I’d wipe the floor with them. 

I didn’t expect that analogy. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Your excitement to teach sex ed is concerning me. I don’t think you fully understand how bad they could be about it. 

[cooper-bishop-blog]

rileypark:

You’re really going to go and teach kids how to drive when you got a speeding ticket just a week ago? Go with sex ed, at least that’s a thing you know slightly better. Funny, if I ever attempted to teach a class of teens I don’t think it’d be a great a great experience. They’d be terrified.

I still fully blame you for the ticket. Just because I speed doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing. Wow, slightly? I think teenagers in high school will surprise you Riles. It’s public school, they can be terrifying. The tables would be turned then. 

[cooper-bishop-blog]

nursedorothy:

I didn’t know they still did behind the wheel driver’s ed but if you can actually improve the kind of driver’s out there, I would personally be grateful.

How do kids learn how to drive otherwise? I’m not sure if there’s any hope with me making them any less shittier.

[cooper-bishop-blog]

rileypark:

As much as I’d like to procrastinate further, I don’t think the whole baby making is as easy for us as it is for you two. I don’t remember when our anniversary is, Coops, don’t get sentimental. I will, however, accept any presents you want to buy me for the occassion. What’s it going to be this time? A set of glasses? I don’t believe the words troll and good looking ever go together. Every look. Somehow I don’t doubt that you’d spend money just to prove me wrong. I don’t know, are you offended? just keeping it real. Look at you, you’re totally going to make me blush. Luckily things wen’t better than expected, considering Daina almost ruined the night.

Right...well, I know how valuable my sperm is if you ever need it. How dare you not remember? Something so significant like your wedding date? You actually want another gift from me after how this year went? Wow. I defy the norms, like good looking trolls. You know me very well because I’m already shopping online. You usually blush because I embarrass you, —don’t get used to it. Whaaaat? Usually I fuck things up when you invite me, how could Daina?