When you think of love, do you think of pain?
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@copyslain-blog
When you think of love, do you think of pain?
If he loved you he would care that he hurt you. Say it again. Say it again. He would care.
S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #194 (via blossomfully)
BOOK STARTERS VOL.23 ( HOUSE OF LEAVES ) ( MARK Z. DANIELEWSKI )
❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜
❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜
❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜
❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜
❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜
❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜
❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜
❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜
❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜
❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜
❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜
❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜
❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜
❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜
❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜
❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜
❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜
❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜
❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜
❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜
❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜
❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜
❛ ‘Fuck’ and ‘fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜
❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜
❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜
❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place? ❜
❛ Any fool can pray. ❜
❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜
❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜
❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜
❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜
❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜
❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜
❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜
❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜
❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜
❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜
❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜
❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜
❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜
‘ let’s dig deep here… favorite color, favorite ice cream, favorite season? think you can handle it? ’
they’re on the ocean, leaving menagerie. and she’s going to confront the problems she had once stood in this very place running from. the white fang… adam. her stomach ties itself in knots when her mind revisits the fall of beacon. admittedly, she’s still afraid. but this is a fear worth facing if it means protecting the people. if it means rewriting the message that the faunus communicate to the rest of the world. and this time, she has–
–that’s sun’s cue to saunter in. blake catches the swish of his tail in her periphery, even as she keeps her eyes trained forward. his timing is so very sun-like that her lips twitch with the inkling of a smile. it’s when he suggests digging deep that she tenses, just a little, preparing to divulge yet another piece of her past… only to breathe out with relief when the suspense is broken. color, ice cream flavor, season…
❛ –i don’t know, sun. those are some really invasive questions. ❜ it’s becoming harder to hide her smile, though, and suddenly the anxiety she had built up comes crashing down, like the waves against the side of the ship. ❛ let’s see… ❜
in a contemplative silence, she considers her answers before glancing over at him. he seems to know her so well now. there’s an awareness shelved beneath all the cheesiness, that she needed this. a distraction, something to lift her spirits. ( to keep her from brooding as she so often does. ) considering he already knows this much– she tilts her head and squints, prompting a challenge. she has a little time for banter.
❛ humor me with a guess? ❜ blake pulls back from the ship railing and brings a hand to her chin. she studies him, careful and curious, though the skyward flick of her ears lends her serious demeanor a playful sort of transparency. ❛ –i’ll try and guess yours, too. ❜
@brightlikewukong
RWBY
サンとブレイクとリボン
ツイッターにあげたものをこちらにも
snowslain:
despite team rwby’s tearful reunion, there was a certain member who seemed still missing. Blake had kept to herself upon her return, lost during the hours of light, appearing only at meals. Weiss understood why she would avoid them – a lot had happened. But she didn’t care about that. Everyone was here now, that’s what they should focus upon. Thus, she devised her clever little plan… she would bait her friend out of her isolation.
the fish was set neatly on the coffee table, a window cracked open to allow for some extra air flow, and Weiss darted out of sight. She waited… and waited… and then footsteps. Aha – ! Her prey had arrived… As the familiar figure reached for the food in front of her, she approached from behind, clearing her throat for attention.
❛ hehe… i knew the tuna would work. ❜
…she’s surprised that it worked. Pleased, yes, but surprised. The concept seemed a little, well… cartoonish, but it did apparently show results. A triumphant smirk flashed across her lips for a swift moment, though she grew serious as Blake inquired about her intentions.
❛ yes. blake, listen… i won’t ask you why you ran. but we aren’t just your teammates – we’re your friends. you can tell us what’s troubling you. ❜
tilting her head to the side, she blinks once... and then twice at weiss’s laughter. lighthearted beginnings ease her in, though, as her expression gradually becomes serious. blake braces herself with a deep breath-- only to hold it upon hearing the word ‘friends’.
❛ you... still consider me a friend. ❜ the words are tinged with disbelief. because her heart still sinks when she thinks about that day, about tearing herself away from everyone without a single goodbye. guilt makes her smaller and her gaze falls to the floor. it even compels her to make a case against herself. ❛ even though i ran. i ran, when i said i wouldn’t. ❜
she left adam and he threatened to kill everyone she loved. she left her parents and they had forgiven her without question. she left her team and... she’s not sure where she stands, exactly. all she knows is that it shouldn’t be so easy. not after...
weiss still considers her a friend, though. and blake knows better now than to push her away.
❛ ever since the fall of beacon... i’ve been confronting people that i’ve run from. ❜ she curls her fingers, not quite making fists as her ears flit downward. she considers divulging more, but can’t bring herself to. not yet. ❛ i guess i don’t want to assume that everything is fine until i’ve proven that i want to stay. not with words, but with actions. and that won’t happen overnight. ❜
snowslain
i really hope we get to see more of the white fang before things started getting to that tipping point – it’d be interesting to see how things progressed into what we see in the show
( right. since adam made an appearance in that trailer i’ve been wondering if they’re going to dive any deeper into their past. blake says that he embodies spite / wants to cause the world the same suffering it caused him... but we still haven’t seen exactly what he’s been through. )
‘ i’m glad you’re back. ’
though it often seems an eternity since she last fought alongside her team like this, muscle memory kicks in immediately when ruby shouts ‘checkmate’. she and weiss are in synch, engaged in an dance of twirling glyphs, black ribbons and shadows. adrenaline pumps through her veins, her heartbeat has a presence in her ears, and in the moment she forgets that they had ever been apart. though she appreciates sun more than words could say for fighting alongside her in the time they had been apart, there is a distinguishable sense of ease she feels when she’s fighting with her team. ( --probably because sun’s improvised attacks usually involved dismounting off her back and shoulders at random ) she and weiss land side by side with graceful flourish, watching the grimm crumple to the ground in dust-induced flames. despite the subtle warmth emitted from it, the winter air nips at her skin with bitter prominence now that she’s still. heavy breaths rise from their lips like puffs of smoke.
worn out but relieved to have taken the enemy down, blake lowers her head, preparing to sheath her weapon as ruby cheers from the sidelines. time to move on. then she pauses, stills her hand when she hears weiss’s voice. i’m glad you’re back.
wide eyes are shielded by the ebony veil of her bangs, but her ears perk straight up and give her emotions away in an instant. incredulously, she blinks and then tilts her head to stare at weiss. since returning, guilt has tipped the ground beneath blake’s feet– balance thrown into something unsteady and awkward as she tries to find her place again. team attacks are manageable, but when it comes to their friendship…
blake wouldn’t blame them if they’re wary– just waiting for her to run off again. she deserves that. and she needs to prove that she’s changed. though when she sees weiss’s smile, her eyes, somehow more warm and open than she’s ever seen them before… she can tell her team has changed, too. it’s a bittersweet tug in her heart, simply because it’s been so long. walking their own paths, they’ve all grown into different people since the fall of beacon and things are never going to be exactly the same. which isn’t a bad thing, not at all– it’s just going to take some getting used to.
biting the inside of her cheek, blake’s eyes are liquid gold– touched– pulling into the shape of crescents. gradually, they relax into their full shape as the ghost of a smile tugs at her lips.
❛ well… ❜ her voice is soft, modest. ❛ i’m glad to be back. ❜
@snowslain
“I haven’t seen you in hours. Where were you hiding?”
curled up in a quiet nook, she’s paging through her old journal again. poring over each word for answers– hoping she might find something– anything– that would help her understand what the white fang is planning. an ominous threat looms over her once peaceful school days and the past she couldn’t outrun is beginning to catch up with her. and as she reads her own words, reliving what she had gone through and seen, she’s reminded of just how crucial it is to prepare.
reading his words, shuddering at her youthfully romanticized descriptions, she remembers for a moment how it was before– seeing the rose on his back when he left on missions and feeling hopeful. how those feelings wilted and hardened with each passing day, until brittle petals crumbled to dust in a tightening fist. even so, with his extreme philosophies, it still doesn’t make any sense for him to start cooperating with humans now. what is he planning?
–what happened after she left?
cursive blurs at the edges in spells– she has to squeeze her eyes shut and reopen them to see properly. her body and her teammates have been telling her to rest lately; but there’s no way that she can. not when–
blake jolts when the door swings open, journal slipping out of her hands and tumbling to the bed in a lopsided fashion. with a racing heart, she tries to distract from her panicky reaction by picking it up, slowly, and pressing it shut. taking a deep breath, she closes her eyes and lowers her head, dark bangs falling over her eyes. it’s just weiss. calm down.
weiss’s lips are turned in an awkward smile, but her eyes are a clear reflection of the concern she’s often expressed as of late. somehow, blake has to look away. weiss and the others… they just won’t understand. they can’t. because they don’t know the white fang like she does.
and along with the innocent people who could get hurt, she wants them to be safe, too.
❛ the library. ❜ her voice is a defensive sort of quiet as her gaze shies to another corner of the room. her bow twitches when her ears flick downward beneath it. journal tucked safely under her arm, she brings herself to her feet. ❛ –i was just thinking of going back, actually. ❜
@snowslain
( * &. – SHARP OBJECTS SENTENCE STARTERS .
‘ all of history was written by men, so… of course they’re gonna make themselves look good. ’
‘ as i recall, you couldn’t even get it up. ’
‘ bless your heart. bless your heart very much. ’
‘ can i sleep over with you? ’
‘ does it ever get better, with your family? ’
‘ fine, you can sleep in my bed, come on. you can sleep with me. ’
‘ hardly matters. you’re ruined. all out of spite. ’
‘ i believe she’s outstayed her welcome. ’
‘ i don’t mean to sound cruel, but i don’t think part of your heart can ever work if you don’t have kids. ’
‘ i forget sometimes how parents aren’t always good for their kids. ’
‘ i have to get home for heaven’s sake! ’
‘ i miss her sometimes, even though i didn’t know her. ’
‘ i never loved you. i hope that is of some comfort to you. ’
‘ i think we should just sleep separate tonight then we’ll hang out tomorrow, okay? ’
‘ i won’t grow up, not me. ’
‘ if i can, you can. ’
‘ if somebody says ‘bless your heart’, what they really mean is ‘fuck you’. ’
‘ it’s hotter than a whore in church today. ’
‘ i’m a bit tired, i think i should just sleep in my bed tonight. ’
‘ i’m glad you’re back. ’
‘ i’m incorrigible too. only she doesn’t know it. ’
‘ i’m just a little frustrated ‘cause the girl i’m seeing won’t call me back. ’
‘ i’m not decent. no, i’m not. ’
‘ i’m trash, from old money. ’
‘ i’ve just never been very good at the adult thing, i guess. ’
‘ just forget about it, alright? i have. ’
‘ let’s dig deep here… favorite color, favorite ice cream, favorite season? think you can handle it? ’
‘ life is pressure. grow up. ’
‘ my demons are not remotely tackled. they’re just mildly concussed. ’
‘ nothing’s ever your fault, is it? ’
‘ please stay. ’
‘ please stay. if i can, you can. ’
‘ she’s delicate. a rare rose. but not without thorns. ’
‘ so, uh, are you guys dating now? ’
‘ that day has haunted me. ’
‘ well, i’m an unconventional girl, that’s what you like about me. ’
‘ well, looks like we both got fucked. ’
‘ we’re alike. i knew we would be. ’
‘ what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger… unless it kills you. ’
‘ what if, after you die, part of you goes to heaven, part of you stays here, just to see how things turn out? ’
‘ whenever i’m here, i just– i feel like a bad person. ’
‘ you could take advantage of me maybe, when i’m drunk. ’
‘ you gonna hit me? be dangerous. ’
‘ you have the control and… they like you. ’
‘ you turned out so wonderful, smart, beautiful, successful, and brave. ’
‘ you were born with it, that cold nature. ’
‘ your friend sounds like an after school special. ’
‘ you’re a sick fuck. ’
‘ you’re like my sister. ’
‘ you’re like my soulmate. ’
“It’s so early, please stop.”
❛ –the floor is lava, weiss. ❜
on the surface, blake doesn’t sound particularly enthused about playing along when ruby looks to her for support. her tone is impartial, it’s clear she doesn’t intend to pick a side. but maybe she’s giggling on the inside. just a bit. after all, she’s reading quite comfortably in bed right now. she has nothing to worry about. and she knows her teammates so well that she doesn’t even have to look up from the page to know that weiss’s face is twisting into an exasperated scowl right about now as ruby sits on the desk and kicks her legs wildly– all wide-eyes and desperation as she implores with the ice queen to be careful.
–because her life is clearly at stake if even a single foot touches the carpet.
it’s a bit childish, sure, and maybe it distracts from her reading a little bit… but occasionally, when she’s certain that no one’s watching, she can’t help but feel the ghost of a smile tug at her lips. blake’s never really had this before. something lighthearted and easy. ruby and weiss’s quarrels are a normal occurrence, but she knows that this… whatever they have… it can’t last forever. nothing ever does. so even sitting where she is– on the sidelines– she has to remind herself to appreciate it.
@snowslain
“Now I have something I want to protect. It’s you.”
it’s unbelievable how much difference a little black bow can make.
filthy. savages. liars. degenerates. killers. attending the academy, she had nearly grown accustomed to fair ( and safe ) treatment by other people– at school, on the road, in shops and by the pier. everywhere. but she never forgot– never lost sight of who she is and what drives her. the hate that had driven her to fight alongside the white fang in the first place. and so she braced herself to reenter the world without that protection. it was a conscious decision, so she expected that something like this might happen; traveling without the simple security of a bow tied around her ears.
they’re passing through a station when she’s shoved roughly, simply for walking past a stranger. and her ears twitch as she catches the man who had done it curse her under his breath. faunus scum. blake’s fists close. it lights a fuse in her heart– and yet he’s clearly just a civilian. and this is no place for that kind of fight. her fists slacken. before she can even manage a confrontational ‘hey’ to get his attention, she hears the commanding click of weiss’s shoes snapping against the floor.
then it’s weiss’s voice, lecturing him, and blake’s eyes widen slightly.
the scene itself reminds her of the day they met, when she had accosted ruby for landing in her luggage. this time, however, blake’s stance on the ‘ice queen’ has pivoted entirely. it’s not just this single moment that changed her perspective so drastically. it all began in steps. a forgiving smile after she ran away. the days where they would silently walk side by side after stumbling upon cafes that refused service to faunus– sometimes covering tedious distances to find those that would. blake had her bow, she could have blended in easily. but she refused to support those businesses. weiss never complained. she agreed with her. there were countless nights where she stay up late to check on her when she couldn’t sleep. and they would talk.
–to think there had once been a time where they argued until the sky grew dark.
in weiss, she sees hope that she would have never seen before attending beacon. that humanity has the potential to take larger strides. she sees that people are capable of change. it brings clarity; the reason why continuing on a warpath of violence and bloodshed wouldn’t have brought actual results. they’re so close now, she can’t ignore the fact that their actions ( her actions– on train cars full of dust ) had affected weiss’s childhood, too.
the man doesn’t seem particularly thrilled about it– but he is able to cough out an apology at weiss’s insistence before stalking off. and blake can only nod, stunned to silence. this is the first time weiss has witnessed her taking this kind of treatment firsthand… and without hesitation, she defended her. blake never doubted her stance, but it’s moving; the way weiss glows with satisfaction to have spoken up.
this isn’t the first time one of her friends has been vocal about their desire to protect her. but every time, the sentiment is a tight, overpowering squeeze in her chest. it’s a reminder that she loves them. dearly. she’s reminded of the reason why she ran… and the reason she came back. it isn’t the fact that the man apologized that touches her– he had obviously done it to avoid confrontation. it’s weiss. the extraordinary extent that she has changed and grown after all this time.
❛ weiss– ❜ blake doesn’t know exactly what to say. she blinks past the moisture in her eyes and manages a small, humbled smile to convey a feeling that cannot be described with words. it takes her back, somehow. ❛ thank you. ❜
meme ! | @snowslain
Shit I’ve said to my cat; sentence starters
“What are you doing?”
“What did you knock over?”
“Don’t eat that!”
“What’s in your mouth? What do you have in your mouth?!?”
“Plastic isn’t food.”
“How did you get up there?”
“Are you stuck? You got yourself up there, you can get down.”
“I have to pee – can you move?”
“It’s so early, please stop.”
“I haven’t seen you in hours. Where were you hiding?”
“I know you’re trying to tell me something, I just don’t know what.”
“Don’t be mean! I’m just trying to love you!”
“You’re just the cutest thing ever.”
-points to mirror- “That’s you!”
“I’m trying to take a picture of you, please stop moving.”
“You haven’t moved in hours.”
“How can you be such a bed hog? You’re so tiny!”
“You have the cutest nose.”
“Look at those feet-ies!”
“You’re like a gargoyle up there.”
“Don’t bite me, that’s rude.”
“You look so comfortable. I wish I could be that comfortable.”
“All you do is sleep and eat. That’s the life.”
“You are so lazy. You would not survive in the wild.”
“Could you blink, or something? You’re starting to freak me out.”
“Those squirrels look like they’re doing something shifty.”
- boops nose -