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Misplaced Lens Cap
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Acquired Stardust
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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YOU ARE THE REASON
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
i don't do bad sauce passes

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@coriorsomething
Movement nudge!
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kids these days don't know what it felt like to be bisexual and wear a stupid as fuck hawaiian shirt in 2017
My favorite quirk of American English is that since we're constantly exaggerating, sometimes it's more intense to say something slightly less intense. Because like, it means you actually thought about it.
"you look great!" - normal. Anyone could say this. Could be true or could just be lying to be nice. Very normal expected thing to say to someone
"you look good." - gay as hell thing to say to someone.
im NOT feeling shrimptastic im going to KRILL myself
@vriskakinnieaynrand
Pet dragon 🐲 [by Ryoko Kui]
girl nothing is ever gonna be all the way together just enjoy the bits and pieces #yourfragments
ultimately we all have to quit our jobs and walk into the sea
Dead wife but it's a flashback to an amazing sandwich you had 3 years ago
YOU DID NOT COME INTO THIS WORLD. YOU CAME OUT OF IT, LIKE A WAVE FROM THE OCEAN. YOU ARE NOT A STRANGER HERE
people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now
The older this post gets the funnier it becomes
My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.
that’s how fucked up our world is now
people born in 2000 are getting kicked off their parents’ health insurance as we speak
like im okay with being medium attractive and having a moderately clean house. instagram reels just bounce off of me like water off a ducks back
everyones got that fic they chip away at like michaelangelo sculpting david. and brother? its penis month
asked my friends if they knew what i was referencing and they said no. we all know that post where someone divided how long it took michelangelo to sculpt david by it's size and went "yuuuuup. whole month spent on penis" right. sure, my search history is full variations upon "michelangelo penis month tumblr" to no avail, but we all know it. right.
Hi, that was a MBMBAM bit. But i see you and i hear you and i dont know if someone already said something
oh my god youre right.
[ID: Screenshot of a transcript.
Travis: Yeah. It well--but it's seventeen feet tall divided by twenty-four months means that every month he crafted point seven--so like about three-quarters of a foot. Right? So, nine inches. So yes, I could say that just statistically speaking, there was a wiener month.
Griffin: Okay. "So how was your September, Michelangelo?" "It was, it was intense."
/ID]