literature snob

19 - she/her washington capitals 🫩

[cornshowercurtain]

au where everything is the same except will is even more of a jack of all trades and mack’s competence kink is constantly blaring like kill bill sirens in his head

he drives to the marleau’s to hang out and will is just straight up under his car in the driveway, wearing a stained cutoff and hands pitch black because he’s doing “a simple oil change, celly. you’ve never done this?”

there’s a piano in the lobby of their hotel and will sits down at it while they’re all waiting to get their room keys and effortlessly plays some katy perry and mack is so confused bc he’s never seen will even look at a piano before, much less have full songs memorized???

the toffolis host another cookout and dickie brings a fucking thing of flint to make a dumb minecraft reference and annoy toff, but then will actually starts the fire with it and “mack, you should definitely know how to make a fire in case of emergency, cmon man”

will visits vancouver and the rental car company gives him a stick shift car but he drives it flawlessly and mack has a perfectly good automatic at home but he’d rather have an excuse to be a passenger princess and stare at will working with whatever the hell the clutch and gears do.

he just thinks that will is naturally gifted at everything and will will absolutely NEVER tell him he panickedly learned all these skills in like middle school in order to be useful and helpful to whoever needed him.

[phoebebrxdgers]

will: mack look at this the patriots posted me on instagram :) i’m gonna play with puppies soon :) i won a trophy in a sport i don’t play :) did you see the patriots posted me :)

mack: if my ass weren’t so fat i’d have shot myself by now

[cornshowercurtain]

the guys in the locker room asking tits or ass and will smith overcompensater loudly and proudly declares tits while mack starts having an internal crisis bc he doesn’t have tits and smitty prefers tits and why can’t smitty be an ass man all i have is Ass

[thesunlovesthestars]

will genuinely would adopt that puppy and leave its name as macklin celeweenie just so he can walk around saying good boy mackie ur so cute watching mack get all flushed at first and then all scowly and jealous cause he was talking to the dog

[cornshowercurtain]

almost just got in a car crash bc my boyfriend sneezed and covered his mouth with the arm he was steering with instead of the one holding my thigh and i think i figured out how macklin celebrini would want to die

[cornshowercurtain]

au where will smith hockey is an asmr livestreamer and macklin celebrini (the white noise king) cannot fall asleep anymore without will’s specific channel playing

[cornshowercurtain]

i love the idea of a willmack frat au because i can already see how fucking competitive they would get over intramural sports championships. i’m talking blood sweat and tears over the tshirt prize and shitty $5 trophy. mack is constantly bitching to the ref about missed calls like it’s game 7 of the stanley cup final, even tho the ref is just stressed about their bio midterm the next morning. will brought a fucking whiteboard to the sidelines. there’s a hanging threat of mandatory sobriety for EVERYONE the entire week if they lose this fucking game.

(and also i once had a dream that gabe perreault was an intramural basketball ref so we also need to get that man a whistle and a striped shirt NOW)

[cornshowercurtain]

is it weird to say that will smith hockey seems like he’d do study abroad if he’d gone to college like a normal person

[cornshowercurtain]

this is the face of a line cook who the servers (will smith hockey) are extra nice to in exchange for free food. TRUSTTTTT ryan leonard would NEVER let the communal french fry bowl be empty ✊😌

and i just know he disappears for ten minutes after a rush to hit his vape by the dumpster

[cornshowercurtain]

macklin celebrini is perhaps the epitome of a man who should be a dishwasher for a restaurant…

let him put his headphones on and listen to his trashy music and be in his own little world while he sprays plates with hot water, while will smith hockey is working his ass off serving customers and making sure everything is perfect for an egregiously high number of tips

let will bitch about his needy tables while he scrapes uneaten leftovers into the trash can and mack stares at him with his jaw dropped over the fact that he’s being acknowledged by the cute waiter who’s section everyone requests

let mack look like a drowned rat at the end of the night, but still leave his little corner of the kitchen to tell will that he can take the trash cans out to the dumpster in the dark alley behind the restaurant instead of will doing it

[cornshowercurtain]

in my mind, will smith hockey is having the time of his life decorating cakes at walmart while macklin celebrini ominously looms over customers using self checkout to make sure no one’s scanning a tv as a rotisserie chicken

[cornshowercurtain]

i read willmack fics from the privacy of my tiny phone screen but i read natecale on my giant laptop screen where everyone walking by can see like god intended

[cornshowercurtain]

this is my tiny baby puppy dog that HATES macklin celebrini’s voice and i will support him in any endeavor except for pooping in the house

[cornshowercurtain]

YOOOO are you writing that Ella Enchanted au cause I NEED you to, that's such a good idea!!!

there's a bare bones plot outline in my Google Docs waiting to be fleshed out into an actual fic!!!

[cornshowercurtain]

the ella enchanted will au would be SOO good like imagine a hockey curse universe where theyre on a losing streak so will gets hit w the curse except the curse is always enhancing one of your best qualities so will’s kindess and willingness to always help out gets turned into the curse of obedience and they find out when like warso or someone is annoyed w the team during practice and orders them to skate laps and shoot pucks til they drop and everyones so impressed w smitty going like an hour after everyone even mack is done but then he passes out and theyre like wtf and thats when they realize hes cursed and its a pretty scary way to find out ofc mack is beyond himself w worry and the team gets protective theyre trying rlly hard to word their sentences better until they can win their next game (which is on a roadie in a week) and in the meantime mack basically bans will from social media they dunno if the curse applies for online stuff but hes not risking it and will js feels rlly suffocated w how everyones coddling him and he goes out to a bar one night or smth and gets in a bad situation w some guy but luckily mack tracks him down (he has smittys loc ofc) and gets him outta there but ya the angst potential !!

this is almost exactly how i was imagining it!! the only thing i would change for #angst is that the team knows there’s a curse but they don’t know what it is and who it’s on, which makes it even worse for will’s internal monologue bc HOW IS NO ONE NOTICING?!?!!

[raikkonens]

[cornshowercurtain]

back again for unreal angst potential. the fact that will is surrounded by hockey bros is about to be his undoing. if someone says dude shut the fuck up... god forbid someone says go kill yourself..... maybe this is why his mom followed him everywhere growing up. and why he has grace on speed dial. he needs someone with him who knows and won't take advantage. maybe fucking will vote is that guy... maybe it was leno and leno being scared/angry for him is why shit fell apart between them. i can see someone saying don't be mad at me but i just [insert something worth flipping out over like idk broke your fucking windshield oops] and will isn't even allowed to feel emotions. also bc he's a boy being told not to cry...

i have to headcanon his family being the most aware, supportive family ever. like everyone relearns how to speak so that will has as much free will as possible. can you pass the salt instead of simply pass the salt. the way it's so easy to accidentally order someone around. the way they wouldn't have known growing up either they would have just thought he was a good, obedient little Catholic boy. the real question is who found out and how? maybe grace tells him to stop crying and he does. maybe he's told to just eat. someone has 100% said don't be difficult and what does that even mean and how can he live by that and how would anyone know to override the command afterward. how many soft orders has he been given/will he be following his entire life without him nor anyone else knowing?

also the religious implications. the fact that he goes to mass on Sundays/goes to church at all. i've never been but i assume he gets told to do a lot (thou shall not steal, love thy neighbor, etc.). maybe he goes to church so he can be told to be a good person. and if he's ever told you cannot love a man... what then..... how long until someone says you can love whoever you want regardless of gender? also the whole purity aspect. don't have sex, don't masturbate, don't watch porn, the list goes on. the more i ponder this the more horrific it becomes.

does he keep a list of orders he's given that need to be overturned? who can he trust to overturn them? the fact that he's living with the marleaus aka a ten toes down for trump household...

thinking about will smith competitive. thinking about being a kid and being told to hold his breath for a competition. and everyone thinks he's super competitive or super good at it but he just can't fucking breathe until someone tells him to... only they're having a competition and no one will tell him to until he quite literally passes out. thinking about how it happened with the boys and now he has a reputation for being ultra competitive and willing to do anything to win. thinking about this happening before anyone knew and his parents angry at him asking why he went so far and his only answer is i didn't have a choice and no one believing him. thinking about all of the cute family anecdotes that turn into horror stories when the truth comes out...

also: being complimented by coaches for being coachable. being complimented by adults for being obedient and polite. being complimented by friends for being up for anything. will becoming an expert at leading people to undo their own commands. "get the fuck out" "if you want me to leave i'll leave..." while slowly getting up "nooo i was just joking stay with me forever" 5 mins later "why are you following me into the bathroom, bud" "you're the one who told me to stay with you foreverrr" "get the fuck out". will also becoming an expert at creative interpretation. the first gtfo means get out of bed obviously and the second is for leaving the bathroom. neither mean leave the premises.

does he spend more time with older women bc they're more likely to ask than tell? the worst he'll be ordered to do is to set the table. politeness/manners as a shield bc it makes people polite to him in return which means more requests less commands. needing to cultivate a cocky, chill persona around his boys so he can work his way around orders. "go out tonight" eyebrow raise "try asking nicely" "fuck you bud stay in if you want" etc. "suck my dick" "i mean i'm not gay but if you insist..." "fuck no don't touch me"

also will never being fully alone with anyone he doesn't trust. hence why voter is always there TM. he went into dev camp looking for his new guy and found him in earnest but slightly awkward mack. making a reputation for willmack from day one so it's weirder for them to be seen apart than together 24/7. lowkey training mack to be more careful with his words while at the same time going along with all of mack's "reasonable" commands (ex. get some dirt, come here, etc.). him curating the people he gives his time to out of necessity in order to minimize the potential harm done to himself whether intentionally/unintentionally.

how much of who he is is who he's told to be vs who he needs to appear to be in order to survive vs who he really is. is there really any part of him untouched by this? is there really any him at all outside of others? more importantly which does he believe to be true?

don't mind me brain dumping in your inbox. im not really going anywhere with this just #lemme ponder this. you were really right about him being the perfect specimen for this au. i think of anyone he might have the socialization to live with such a severe handicap, though i do think hockey/team sports in general is one of the worst environments he could have chosen for himself. and when someone chirps go fuck yourself mid game what then... (hence the need for leno on his line for so long despite it hindering both of them developmentally; also the reason for leno and gabe being guard dogs and beating the shit out of people on his behalf for the smallest offense). i'm gonna stop before i go on forever 😭 may or may not be sliding in your dms soon depending on if i can get this out of my head. what have you done to meee

i genuinely need you to open a google docs and get to work because your mind is perfect for this and i need to read whatever fic you come up with holy shit 🙏🙏🙏