
if i look back, i am lost

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occasionally subtle
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@cortezcorteztk
fourteen years
together,
on
off
glued to my hip
wasn’t a plight,
a circumstance
underneath the sun
it didn’t matter
glued to my hip,
fourteen years
when we try our best
sometimes
your best
is all you can do,
your best
may be accurate,
may not be enough
may come up
short
miss days,
birthdays
holidays
anniversaries
not have shit
not a nickel,
may have a pearl
the world
climb to the summit
of mauna kea
& scream
with joy,
fear
she was
the social one
a mexican bluewing
i don’t really
do much
go out alone
eat alone
sleep alone
when
i’m home,
i’m home
when
i go,
i go
drink,
smoke pot
show love,
fight
fuck
a detective
i envy solitude
the loneliness
the trumbone
the jazz
read,
jot
trace a perspective
traditions matter
cry in movie theaters
rewatch,
rewatch
i take the bus alone
usually sit alone
hope someone
doesn’t sit
next to me
if so,
it is what it is
i try
& take
the window seat
“they don’t
make them
like that anymore”
what they say
don’t mind me
if i stumble
over words
don’t mind me
if i stare off,
daydream
war,
heartbreak
i lost someone
she meant the world
to me
my world
before the illness,
hair thinning
before the cisplatin
inhibitors,
antibods
revolting hospital food,
a hospital
her little hometown
down in a holler
asking if i could
shave her head,
shave mine as well
glued to my hip
don’t wait
too long
to say what you want
stumbling
over my words,
daydreaming
twirling,
reach for my hand
to dance
in her hospital socks,
hospital gown
smoking cigarettes,
ankle high sock
hid paper rolled
marijuana
the staircase
always the fifth,
sixth floor
her dorm
on the second floor
kept asking
if i would missed her
what else,
what else
what’s next
throwing up
don’t worry
don’t mind me
i’m there
for you,
hold you hair
i’ll take care of you
i’ll see you later,
i promise
bonny hazel eyes
there for you
not a plight,
or circumstances
underneath the sun
glued to my help
In The City - The Jam
Owner Of A Lonely Heart - Yes
Sex , lies, and videotape (1989)
one of saddest injuries
Derrick Rose (PG #1 Chicago Bulls)
April 28th, 2012, Eastern Finals game 1 at the United Center against the Philadelphia 76ers.
Torn ACL with a minute left, Bulls up by twelve
in the 4th quarter. Worst day in NBA history.
Simone de Beauvoir, from Diary of a Philosophy Student: Volume 1, 1926-27
Text ID: I observe how much I have matured since last year despite my belief that I was losing myself, how something strong was born from the painful experiences survived and from the numerous minutes that I believed were wasted.