Kuso

she/her, lots of Star Wars content, weird things, pigeons

[cortosis-ct]

It hurts so much when you're lacking of love and then someone finally loves you the way you need but then they're leaving for the night and you're alone again. I feel like a child being carried away from my mom while I'm screaming and crying.

[cortosis-ct]

Sometimes I manage to allow myself to be sad (or another negative feeling). To really just be sad, to feel it and to not try and change it. Acceptance. It's hard to describe. To just be and let myself be. On one hand it hurts of course. Those kind of feelings aren't fun. On the other hand it's much more bearable in some kind of way

[cortosis-ct]

I ate tofu today for the first time and omg!!!!

I was always told it's bland, has no taste, is disgusting and all those things.

I wnated to marinate and fry the tofu to bring in some taste and I decided to be brave and try a tine piece before marinating and frying. My autistic ass was bracing for the worst (I have sensory issues with food). Not even five minutes later I was eating more of the tofu raw than I was putting in the sauce. It's so tasty!!!! My body likes it.

I fucking love tofu.

[cortosis-ct]

My autistic ass: *Puts perfume on because I'm meeting a guy I like*

Also me: *constantly smells perfume* What have I done??????

And I put it right at my neck, too. He hugs me when we meet. He'll be able to smell it if I put it on my neck. Surely this is a great idea.

Does perfume get more potent over the years or something because I've had this one for at least a decade and I I only sprayed it twice. I think the fact I've had it for so long is telling about my perfume use. And also about how many dates I have. I'm so excited omg help he's literally arriving in a minute asfagrhdhkdsrndjksadhhfffffffffff my overthinking ass thought too much about this

[nightshine72]

my emotions: I need to write a super sad fic that spells out all of his trauma and then sees him slowly and agonizingly heal from that

my brain: have you considered doing that with a narrator voice having the driest humour possible

[cortosis-ct]

Me adding puns to my sad bad coping mechanism dead dove trauma vile necrophilia fanfic

[toastoat]

text from Star Wars Adventures (Vol. II) Tales of Villainy #7 “The Crimson Corsair and the Crime Lords of the Barren Rim”, which everybody should buy & read

[cortosis-ct]

This deserves so much more love!!!

[wantonlywindswept]

so anyway whipping boy au where the Guard earned their reputation as hardasses that never have fun and take great umbrage with people who try to get them to relax the rules

who hold themselves to absolute perfectionist standards and WILL turn on a GAR brother if they try to fuck with the Guard

and some shiny/GAR transplant who doesn't take the rules seriously and insults some senator and don't get why the rest of the Guard give them the cold shoulder and why the commanders look at them with distaste and anger and pity

but then they're summoned to the chancellor's office and they're stubbornly ready to face their punishment

except it's the chancellor and the senator and it's commander fox stripped down to the waist, kneeling on the ground with a blank expression that nevertheless curves in sad understanding when he sees them, when the red guards pin them in place and the smug asshole bastard senator picks up a whip

because when a Guard fucks up it isn't them that's punished

it's fox

[cortosis-ct]

Not sure how to reblog tags but someone suggested that Fox is given the choice if he takes the punishment or them and he always chooses himself. I love this so much!!!

[cortosis-ct]

The way you loved me made me forget what hating myself felt like.

I think I have a crush. I think it might be my first ever real crush.

I've never really considered that I feel self hate, never identified with it. But when I think about I'm, I become so painfully aware of all those bad parts. I see my tummy and my ugly tights. It's not even that I have a problem with it. I'm okay with being ugly, it's not a bad thing. But now I wonder if he'd be disgusted by it. I'm thinking about all my bad characteristics, how I can be very argumentative, those deep reaching trust issues, my weirdness. Oh God, my weirdness! (And he's said as much, too.) The way I'm somehow so deeply broken beyond repair. The softness in all the wrong situations but then indifference in others. I don't think he's ever going to love me because of all these things.

And then I remember my ex girlfriend who loved me so much. She loved every part of me, accepted me, cherished me. I'm scared I'll never find another person to love me like that, especially a man.

So here I am. Lost. Yearning.

(And I think he thinks I'm a lesbian. That might also be a problem lol. But seriously, I have no clue what to do. But he's so nice, that kind of genuinely being good and soft that I've always been looking for in a man. I have no clue how to approach him and I really don't want to make it weird because we work together.)

(I'm also never sure if people actually like me. I'm the kind of person to not ask friends to go out but wait until they ask me so I can be sure that they actually want to spend time with me and weren't just too uncomfortable to say no. I make sure to show them how much I like it and would like to do it again so they don't feel it's one-sided though. So how do I ask him out without asking him out?)

Anyways, thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[lightasthesun]

there are certain codywan tropes that will always get me.

the oh moment

the 'after the war' promise

Obi-Wan asking/offering Cody to drop formalities and call him by his first name (in various colours, flavours, shapes and sizes)

Obi-Wan flirting with Cody and blushing like a maiden when Cody flirts back

Cody knowing exactly what he's doing to his General and exploiting it

Obi-Wan losing his eloquence in Cody's proximity

Cody being his usual brilliant, no nonsense, smart as fuck self

hands!

one is or both of them are touch starved

Cody being a romantic

Their banter

Obi-Wan pining from afar but never doing anything about it

Knuckle kisses

Obi-Wan tracing Cody's scar

unofficially married they just don't know it yet

just having each other to rely and fall back on in all kinds of ways

Obi-Wan just being absolutely enamoured

Cody being the sun

Cody and his fixation with Obi-Wans eyes

shared custody of Obi-Wans lightsaber

Duty above love even though there's so much love

hugs. hugs. hugs. embrace. holding each other.

Obi-Wan info dumping in ADHD and Cody being all heart-eyes.

The fear of rejection but just wanting the other to be happy

"my dear Commander" , "darling"

TBC

[cortosis-ct]

YES!!! Because where's our Codywan-June writing challenge with all these tropes and moments?

We've already got 26, 4 more to go plus some alt prompts. Does anyone have some more ideas?

My suggestions:

• first meeting (because I'm an absolute sucker for that)

• injured Obi-Wan or injured Cody

• that one comic where old Obi-Wan thinks about the war and is like "And fight again we would. Again and again. I needed to see the sunrise. I needed to remember --to believe-- it still could." More of those two exhausted soldiers who are tired of war

• Cody on Tatooine

• Preparing for their next battle and not knowing if they're both going to survive it

Now please take this away from me before I write a 30 chaper longfic addressing each of those bullet points per chapter. I'm supposed to finish my other wips first.

But seriously, can we actually make this a thing? Who else is interested in a Codywan writing challenge?

[cortosis-ct]

The Bad Batch and their jobs (Modern AU)

In my headcanon they all started out as soldiers. After getting out and accidentally acquisiting Omega, they desperately need money and take any jobs they can get. Eventually, everyone finds something they actually like.

Hunter:

Retail sales associate aka Walmart slave and getting yelled at by Karens all day. He's also doing freelance cleaning jobs, the grosser the better the payment. Think hoarder apartments with fifty cats or scat orgy hotel room cleanup.

He works hard on getting his record cleaned up and eventually secures a job at the fire station. He becomes a firefighter and will eventually be a lieutenant and later captain.

Tech:

Fast food worker which means lots of being yelled at by hangry people who are unhappy with the way their BigMac was stacked. He takes any extra shift he can get.

After several failed rounds of applications, he hacks into a big company's system and puts his name on top of the candidate list. He ends up supervisor for some bank insurance IT stuff with lots of numbers.

Wrecker: Miner. It's hard work and long hours in the dark. He actually earns the most of all of them but that's because it's fucking dangerous and depressing.

The leading instructor for the demolition expert trainees blows up. Wrecker, having had professional training in the military and lots of experience at not getting blown up (again), is their best take so he becomes their new instructor for the new hires.

Crosshair: Nobody is really willing to hire him so he's an unlicensed taxi driver most nights. (He hates everything about it.) He also signed up as a freelance roadkill collector job in Hunter's name and takes the calls when he doesn't have passengers.

He meets railroaders when cleaning up railkill one night. When smoking he mentions how much he hates being a taxi driver and the railroaders recruit him for their company. He becomes a traindriver and finally doesn't have to interact with his passengers.

Echo: They call it online sales associate marketer and customer service advisor. He calls it tele-scam-marketer. Many people yelling at him but at least he can work from home.

At a parent-teacher conference of Omega's school he helps another parent with a technology problem. He's like: "I tried to get rid of that problem for hours and you did it within five minutes. You gotta be a master software engineer." and Echo's like "I get payed to get yelled at as a telemarketer". Turns out the guy is an HR associate at an IT company and gets Echo a proper job.

[cortosis-ct]

TIL Kevlar is actually real and not just made up like Kryptonite or Nanotech (looking at you Iron Man) by Sci-fi authors to explain their heroes' cool suits

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Miguel O'Hara could clean the floor with me like a rag and I'd probably thank him for it.

[t3mpest98-deactivated20231216]

Ok so this is for an au thing I’ve had in my head after reading a fic, but how many troopers do you guys think are in the Corrie Guard?

[cortosis-ct]

According to Wookieepedia there are 3,200,000 clones in the whole GAR. We know Fox is a Marshal Commander and according to the same article a Marshal Commander leads a Corps, made of 36,864 (four legions).

I know that's a lot of men but you need a lot. There's Senate duty with a huge number of senator that need protection. Not only do they need guarding when at the Senate but we also often see Corries guarding them off world (remember that ransom pirate episode with Jarjar on Florrum or Thorn's legendary fight on Skipio?) There's also Corries on Kamino in Bad Batch and they're guarding Maul after Mandalore in S7. They need to watch the prison and hunt people who escape. They need to do patrols to make sure everything's in order. The Corries are also military police so that's a lot of work. The drunk troopers aren't walking to the drunk tank themselves. And don't forget all the bureaucracy and administrative duty. They need a medbay for injured troopers, riot control and probably a lot of other specific stuff, too. Most of these jobs are shiftwork because they're needed 24/7 so you need three men to fill each position, two if they have 12 hour shifts and of course there's no weekends or days off.

I like to think that each of the four Commanders is in charge of his own legion and takes care of one of these areas with Fox having his own area but overseeing them all. Of course that's a lot of work so poor man is tired all the time. There's still a high casualty rate. Sure, not as high as the front lines but still high. They don't get send enough new troopers. There's more and more riots, the work is becoming more dangerous as the war progresses. The demand for new troopers is high so they're getting shipped out younger and younger. And of course the older ones get send to the battlefield and the younger ones to the guard because being a Corrie isn't dangerous, is it? Just put them on administrative duty until they're big enough to fit their armor.

[flilisskywalker]

Fascinated by the idea of Armoves/AxeArmor

Not only they were both theorized to be the spies, the traitors, but it's such a funny crack shipp.

The Armorer falling for the first one who doesn't obey her and Axe falling for the leader of the cult he hates.

A lot of comedy potential.

I love it.

[cortosis-ct]

*adds another point on my 16k words fic idea masterlist*

[cortosis-ct]

Nightmares - 501st edition

"The—the mission, the one in our dreams… that never ends. The one in our dreams... Oh, brother." -Tup

(Coming from the interpretation of this quote that every clone has a recurring nightmare of his worst mission or battle.)

Rex: It changes often for Rex. There always seems to be something worse waiting around the corner. He already has the nightmare as a cadet. The longnecks putting him through endless check-ups and tests to see if he's worth the investment. Later he dreams about his merciless training. Then there's the first battle of Geonosis. More missions, one worse than the other. Zygerria gives him nightmares about being tortured and abused. After Umbara his nightmare stays the same gruesome battle aftermath of brothers he shot himself, until order 66 comes around. The mission in his dreams doesn't change after that, ever. Always the same ship, always the same words echoing through his head. Good soldiers follow orders. He can still hear them over the screams.

Jesse: He dreams about the Battle of Mimban. He lost two of his batchmates in just one day, both dying in his arm only few hours apart. The mission of his dreams changes after Umbara. It's usually him, often next to Fives but sometimes with another vod, standing at the execution site and staring at a row of blasters while Dogma screams "fire".

Dogma: His nightmare is a training mission, one of the special advanced missions that last for weeks that only the better troopers are assigned to. He's good. His friend is there, too. More reckless than clever. Dogma learns the hard way why rules and regulations are important to follow. He wishes he'd been more keen about it sooner to prevent a needless death. He's reminded of what carelessness can do every day in his sleep.

Echo: He's on Rishi Moon. He sees Droidbait and droids shooting, he hears Cutup's screams as the eel carries him away, he feels the ground vibrate as the base explodes with Hevy still inside. It's Fives' nightmare, too. This changes for them after Lola Sayu.

Hardcase: His first mission. It was a bloodbath, a complete fail with heavy casualties. He was fighting in the first row from beginning to end and saw everything.

Kix: He doesn't dream about a specific mission. The setting is always the same anyway. An improvised field infirmary in a stormy night. There's at least twice as many men as beds, everyone except him is severely wounded and he's alone to save their lives. The faces change. Unknown clones, people he's lost or saved, batchmates, friends, comrades, sometimes even his own general.

Tup: His first mission is his worst. Umbara. It's like jumpscares coming from everywhere. He's shooting, fighting, people around him die. Sometimes he sees his brothers' faces behind the Umbaran masks after shooting them. It's absolute chaos and everything's too dark or misty to see properly until it's too late.

Fives: The citadel. Each night he's back on Lola Sayu and fighting against battle droids with Echo by his side. His twin always dies, sooner or later. Fives doesn't know if he should love his nightmares because he can see Echo again or hate them for ripping him away time and again in the most brutal manner. He always has wakes up when the bomb goes off, soaked in sweat, without Echo.

[cortosis-ct]

"The mission... the nightmares... they're... finally over...."

I'm pretty sure you all know Fives' tragic last words. There's barely any other mention of trauma in the show and the whole context makes it even more sad. Ahhh the drama!

But while finally giving Clone Wars another rewatch I noticed something else, just two episodes earlier. After waking up from his surgery Tup is talking about the mission and Fives asks which mission. Tup answers:

"You... you know the one. The—the mission, the one in our dreams… that never ends. The one in our dreams... Oh, brother. This is the end. Forget the mission. Oh, the nightmare. I'm... free."

Those are Tup's last words.

For years I had always thought Fives was saying "missions" and just talking about his trauma in general, but no. It's "mission". Singular. The mission. He's talking about the same one Tup had mentioned. The one that never ends. I've never noticed the parallels.

The way they say this makes me think it's an universal thing. "The one in *our* dreams." Our! They all have this mission that never ends, this ever recurring nightmare. Each night they're again engulfed in their worst nightmare, again stuck in their most traumatic mission, their individual hell.

Just imagine what each of them dreams about when they're sleeping.

[rose-blooms-red]

I'm kind of interested to see what you do with Slick, if prompts are still open, maybe something with him?

sorry it took so long!! this was interesting to do lol, not super pleased with it, but it was a good way of trying to idk understand him a bit? yeah anyways <3 <3

He’s alone.

The cell is silent, and clones were not made to be alone.

He’s alone, and that in and of itself might be more punishment than whatever other twisted things the Republic could dream up.

Clones were not built to be alone, were not coded or bred for it. They were trained, specifically, to never be alone.

He’s a clone, he was bred and built and trained for war, he could handle torture, could handle punishments earned.

It’s the loneliness that will kill him first.

His skin is buzzing and he was never close with the brothers around him and under his command, was never the most outgoing or the best-known vod. But touch is something every vod knows, even if it’s a touch that only brings pain.

The lack of it gnaws at something deep in him.

He’s alone and he stares at the wall, digs fingers into skin and can’t bring himself to regret it, not really.

He holds no love for the Republic in his heart, can’t help but view the Jedi through the same lens, maybe it’s a mistake, it sure as haran is what landed him here but—

He doesn’t regret it.

The only thing he regrets is all the brothers that died.

Slick is a miasma of hatred, has always been anger given form and stored away underneath his shell, had righteous fury and indigence twisting up in his chest for so long he no longer knows who he is without it.

He doesn’t regret helping the Sep’s, and that’s damming.

He regrets the vode who died, but no one cares about regrets, and no one cares about clones who aren’t even people anyways.

He sits alone, skin tingling and chest tight, fingers buried deep into his own skin as he stares at the wall.

Slick is alone and he is buried under indignation and anger both.

He does not regret.