im gonna bump you around a little bit

yes, I like piña coladas and gettin' caught in the rain im not much into health food I am into champagne ive got to meet you by tomorrow noon, cut through all this redtape, at a bar called O'Mally's, where we'll plan our escape

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[patrothestupid]

hobby date

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[grimeclown]

Snakeyes Pete is from Toronto he gave me a button once that said "Canadians have the best luck" and i said i thought that was the Irish and he said "I fucking hate the irish" and i said okay

[farmlesbians]

[systlin]

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

[ihonestlydontknowwhattocallthis]

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

[systlin]

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

[systlin]

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.

He said the exact same thing, which I did not know before that, so spreading this knowledge.

[gingik]

[axziom13]

[tamarack-on-track]

e

[severalsmallwizards]

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[an-atlas-or-other]

Soccer players are the horses of sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[metagnostic-deactivated20200809]

[homeofhousechickens]

Oh baby fight

[homeofhousechickens]

Its amazing how much they can grow in a few weeks :) Cellphone is still on the left and Terabyte on the right.

[homeofhousechickens]

Very important to duel your brother every single day.

[animentality]

[opossum-mypossum]

[disterbia]

[northpearl3-deactivated20250728]

huge fan of whatever they r doing on rednote