when candles burn out.
[iv. WINTER]
abby anderson x scientist!reader
— 4 seasons with abby; seasons pass, feelings grow.
— notes: angst, comfort, abby's going through it...!
You go through a whiplash of emotions, the only sounds audible are muffled. Your body feels heavy, the ground is startled, and you feel stuck.
Amidst crawling up the mountain of the north with the whole team, an avalanche occurs after a loud alarm gets set off. You were standing on a roofless watch tower with Abby when the aggressive quaking of the ground made you slip, your things impulsively thrown into the room, saving it, but forgetting to save yourself.
You’re quite literally hanging off the edge, Abby’s phobia of heights not helping the situation. Your screams are as loud, but Abby shakes, not knowing what to do. Reaching out to you would mean she’d see how far up the two of you are from the ground, but keeping you there holding on would mean that she’d mourn you.
“Abby, just-” She’s breathing too fast. “Just look at me.” You lead her eyes to yours, as she stands on the ground, looking down from where you are.
“I can’t.” Abby’s eyes are squeezed shut.
“Anderson, I’ll die if you don’t try.” You say louder than intended. “Fuck, sorry. Think of me, nothing else.” You reach your hand that isn’t grabbing onto the edge. She sees you reaching for her, and for a second, her eyes are on yours. Nothing else, just you. “It’s just us, Anderson. Me and you.” Abby crouches down, looking directly and only at you.
And with full force, she pulls you up, letting you fall on the watchtower’s metal floor. There’s a moment of silence before the two of you stare at each other, breaking into laughter.
“Holy shit, I almost lost you.” Abby checks you for any bruises, scratches, any injuries that may cause you struggle. She rushes to you, taking you aback as it’s usually her that ends up needing tending.
“I’m okay, Anderson. I’ll be alright.” You’re sat up, but she’s still crouching close to you; she brushes strands of hair falling to your face. A minute ago she was laughing, but now there’s something else. Something deeper. You take her hands in yours, reassuring her again that you’re safe. You didn’t fall, and you know you won’t.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Now, your voice remains quiet, but before you could say anything further, a voice from behind the snow starts to speak loud.
One of your teammates calls from the other side, letting you know that there’s a tunnel in the mountain that can help you cross from here to there. Now, on the opposite side of the watchtower from where you almost fell, is a ladder that leads to a side of the mountain.
There’s a path that leads directly to the tunnel, and that’s where you head to with Abby. You’re crawling down the ladder one after the other, talking her through the process. She’s not fragile, but she’s definitely in a vulnerable and rattled state. You almost died, had she not faced her fear. It makes you recall the summer afternoon in your room when you opened up about your fear, or when those cannibals were out searching and you got cramped up in some room. In any and most circumstances, it never fails for Abby to enter your mind.
She walks up quiet, and you catch up to her. This mission will soon be over and done with. It doesn’t take too long before you huddle up with the others, finally going back to base after a few weeks of exploration.
Everyone is fortunate enough that no one died or got bitten; safe to say that the mission was successful, the only mishap being the avalanche, but everyone was able to regroup. Some are injured, but bearable enough that they did not enter a critical state.
Her hand is visibly shaking, your mind races and holds it on impulse. “We’re good.” Your head nods, letting her know that you’re still here. You didn’t fall, you didn’t die. Alive and well. Her hand tightens slightly around yours, but she still doesn’t say anything.
Upon reaching the others, you remove your hand from hers, patting her back before walking over to one of your teammates. She’s going through some statistics with you, seeing as she’s one of the science crew members; you being one of them. As you leave Abby walking with the team, she quietly watches your interaction with the scientist. You were on the verge of death, and yet the first thing you did after being fortunate was to let her know that everything’s okay. It never crossed your mind how much of a burden it would be to listen to her after such an anxiety inducing event.
She knows you can handle yourself, but she’ll always have your back. It’s not something that’s easy for her to say, though it’s easy for her to do.
The whole trip back felt faster, as soon enough, you’re back in base gathering all of the loot and supplies you’ve collected. For a moment, everyone celebrates in the cafeteria. They’re all grabbing drinks and such, but you dismiss yourself, wanting to recharge your social battery. You make your way around the community, noticing how lovely it actually is.
Children are running along the walls and the compounds, actually having the chance to have decent childhoods. Some adults are somewhere playing cards, keeping low and content. People don’t shy away from letting you know that due to some of your inventions and improvements, you’ve helped them live comfortably; knowing that there are people with incredible things to give to this community. Some of them wave at you, and you do the courtesy of waving back, while some offer you a drink or two, but you politely decline this.
A familiar voice from behind calls for you, and so you turn around. “Anderson.” You unconsciously find yourself smiling at the sight of her.
“Wait up.” She rushes to your side, walking along. You don’t mind her coming in between you and your draining battery; in fact, talking to her helps you recharge.
You invite her in your quarters as you patch yourself up, noticing a bit of scratches. You’re sitting on the bed while she makes herself comfy by just standing near you, but not enough to corner you somewhere. The small wound makes you wince upon cleaning the off with alcohol and bandaids, but it’s all better than leaving it to get infected by other pathogens.
“Hey, um-” There’s an anxious tone in her voice, making you finish up your wounds. You stand up to keep the aid kit somewhere safe before going back to your seat on the bed. There’s a spot beside you that you make her sit at, and she looks at you as she settles down.
Abby stumbles with her words, something you’d rarely find her doing. After the traumatic experience she went through with her dad’s passing, it’s not unusual for her to close off any and every emotion regarding that day, regarding any sort of loss, death, such. Seeing you on the verge of it made the feeling and the memory crawl up her skin, as though it’s eating you alive.
She can’t find the words, her jaw clenches at the struggle. You’re about to say something as she starts to mutter as well, ending in another staring contest with tension thicker than air.
Your lips part slightly, eyes gazing at Abby’s, then her lips. For a second, you shut your mind off, pulling her closer to you. Her head nuzzles on your shoulder, you feel her face contorting, soaking the fabric of your shirt in tears that she quietly lets out. Her sniffling becomes muffled as she covers her face in you, with your hand beginning to pat her back.
Her arms find their way to snake around your waist, holding you tight as though you’d disappear in thin air if she lets go. You move your shoulder away from her, letting her face level with yours.
Abby’s eyes look so swollen even though she hasn’t been crying for long. You hold her face, moving her carefully towards you, kissing her tears away. Each droplet falls, and as one of them reaches her lips, you stop midway. You pull away, still holding onto her features. She doesn’t budge, she reaches for your shoulders to finally move you forward and closer to her.
And for a moment, you share a deep, longing kiss. One that dissolves years of unlabelled yearning. Everytime your lips pull away, you pull each other back in for more. She doesn’t stop, neither do you. Your hands hang around her shoulders, her arm holding your waist so tender, her other supporting the two of you up on the bed.
You only stop for air, heart soaring upon feeling Abby growing a smile amidst a kiss. There’s a chuckle that she lets out. Her kisses are so full of love, you find yourself falling all over again.
i. SPRING ii. SUMMER iii. AUTUMN iv. WINTER
