j u s t l o v e

and I am joining all my thoughts to you

[cosmicseconds-blog]

up until these past few months I have lived my entire life in a state of instability, always unpredictable and unwell, with brief fits of mania that were almost as distressing as the lows. I have wasted so much time with such fucking nonsense, with drugs and poisonous relationships that drained me of love and wore me down to nearly nothing

I am so heartbroken for the time and the life and the love that I have lost. I am unbelievably thankful for all that I have learned

I have come further than I ever thought possible and I intend to keep moving forward, slowly but surely. I have big plans and I will make them happen and I am excited for the future and I am finally awake

[cosmicseconds-blog]

falling out of love

[porcelain222]

[cosmicseconds-blog]

I am really pissed about the fact that people have to die and it's making me so angry and I thought I understood death as much as anyone could but I don't think I do anymore and I really don't think anyone does. I have had friends who I loved die but it was always so sudden and it is very different watching someone I love slowly die and death is really stupid and sad

[deusaurism]

[cosmicseconds-blog]

i hate you lol

[cosmicseconds-blog]

I don't think anyone's feelings should ever be considered wrong!!!!! sometimes people feel things for no reason at all and sometimes people have every right to feel a certain way but they are still feelings no matter what!!!

feelings becomes a weird word when you type it over and over.

in case u can't tell I don't want to apologize for the way that I feel and you are making me feel obligated to and i am sorry but that is dumb (wait is this me telling you your feelings are wrong) (goddamnit) (some1 help I am confusing myself) (don't look at me)

this did not turn out how i wanted it to hello hypocrisy goodbye logic

poooooop goodnight luvrs

[cosmicseconds-blog]

I don't want to be friends with anyone anymore

[cosmicseconds-blog]

life is weird and love is weird and i am graduating college soon which is really really weird and i don't  know how to be a grown up and i don't want to and i don't think i ever will. i mostly just wanna dance and pet dogs and explore 4evr

dang

halp

[writingsforwinter]

For as long as I can recall, my own mother has taught me

to always rub honey into wounds instead of salt.

So when I found the scars embedded in the soft ground

of your left wrist, I wasn’t angry.

I didn’t wail like a windstorm or ask you to leave the room

and think about your actions for a while.

Instead I thought of the days when your bed was a ship

you wanted to sail in for months at a time,

when even holding a spoon felt like lifting the entire world

on your bare shoulders. I thought of the dark smears

like night crop circles under your eyes

that didn’t come from lack of sleep

and how sometimes your whole body was a white flag of surrender.

Then I repeated my own mother’s words to myself

and asked you what I could do better next time.

[cosmicseconds-blog]

I know I have grown and I can feel it so why is it I am still unable to keep relationships with others

I continuously bring so much hurt to the people surrounding me and I have lost everyone and the people who keep coming back really have no reason to and I am certain that I do not deserve their forgiveness

I want to blame the pain I have brought upon others on the pain that I have suffered. I don’t know if that is fair

I don’t think I have hope for ever having stable relationships. I know I will end up alone and I think I have to accept that

I am trying so hard to let go of the past and I do not know if I am capable of doing so and I am scared of this

[declaringwar]

Hope

[cosmicseconds-blog]

I would like to sleep alone but I think I might be haunted and my father will not speak to me and I am broke and I do not want to be in this town and I do not understand my actions and this song is making me cry and I think I am lonely and I know I miss you

this place and the people in it nearly destroyed me last semester and all that is left here are heartbreaking memories and I do not know if I will be able to forget and I do not know if I will be able to forgive

[snezhok234]

[declaringwar]

[paresse]

remember the innocence and purity of our youth? when your heart wasn’t tainted with heart break your carefree spirit shone through your irises skin was pure and soft to touch; unmarked. how tragic it is that life takes you apart bit by bit ripping your hair out, digging your nails into your eye sockets, scars painting canvases of sadness across your limbs. poisoning your precious mind.

oh what I would give to relive my youth

[cosmicseconds-blog]

2013 was tragic. i want to have hope for this year but it is incredibly hard at this point.

I don't know why I do the things that I do. I don't want people to care anymore