Sirius tried to stand stoic like Remus, but he had never been good at hiding his feelings. Always got him in trouble with his parents. His mother, may she rest in hell, used to say his bleeding heart was on display for the world to see.
He tried. He really tried to hold it together, but everything was so different now, and he didn’t like it.
“Will you quit pacing?” Remus asked, not even bothering to spare him a glance, his eyes were on a group of people who were clearly talking about them if their glares and not so subtle sneers were anything to go by.
“I’m just nervous,” Sirius huffed, running a hand through his previously pristine hair. “This is all a mistake.”
Sirius tried not to be bothered by the way Remus snorted, but what really got to him was the accompanying eye roll.
“We shouldn’t have let him go,” Sirius continued, fist slamming against his palm for emphasis. Five was too young. “So much could have gone wrong. What if Harry—”
“Sirius.” The amusement in Remus’ tone was almost enough to make Sirius hex him. “It’s just Magical Nursery Care. Harry is fine.”
“But what if the other kids are mean to him?”
Remus finally gave Sirius his full attention; eyes soft and lips stretched into a pretty smile that almost served as a distraction.
“Then he’ll have a sweet, caring but albeit overprotective and annoying parent to help pick up the pieces.”
Sirius’ heart clenched. “I’m not his—”
“You’re not his father, but we are the only parents he’s ever known.”
Silence stretched between them as Sirius tried to think of a way to explain the jumbled mess of emotions that pitted in his stomach, refusing to move.
Before he could say anything, the front doors opened and out came a rush of little demons all searching for their parents. Sirius stood on Remus’ feet in an attempt to see Harry better.
“There are children present.” Sirius tried to be serious but failed at the rage on Remus’ face, and couldn’t stop the laugh that had been threatening to burst out.
Sirius whipped his head at the distress in Harry’s voice. But it was the tear tracks and wobbly lips that gutted him.
Before Remus bent down, Harry jumped into his arms, small hands clinging to the back of Remus’ neck. Sirius felt helpless watching Harry cry, he would do anything to make it stop. Was that what parents felt like too?
“What happened?” Sirius asked, hand moving to pat the back of Harry’s back.
Sirius glared at Remus, that’s what he had been worried about.
“I’m sure there was someone—”
“No!” Harry shook his head so fast that his hair went all over the place, some strands falling into his eyes. “They made fun of my rucksack.”
That was when Sirius saw some kind of satchel on Harry’s back. It was inherently Muggle, especially considering the odd yellow bird of some kind stitched into the design.
“Oh.” Before Remus’ eyes closed, Sirius could see guilt in them and that just made him more confused.
“He picked it out,” Remus whispered when Sirius poked him in the arm, patience wearing thin. “Yesterday in Muggle London.”
“Well,” Sirius began, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think it’s cute.”
Harry sniffled as he wiped his eyes. “Really?”
Kind of. The bird gave him the creeps, but he could grow to love it!
The smile he got in return was small and watery, but it was a start.
Sirius blinked down into earnest silver eyes. The familiarity to them was a punch to the gut; memories of his youth bubbling to the surface, none of them good.
Harry wiggled until Remus let him down. There was a wary look on Harry’s face as he crossed his arms.
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