some of the less positive feelings of my aro experience:
the hollow feeling in your chest when you watch a romantic movie and you know you’ll never ever have that
watching your friends get into relationships and third wheel you even when they don’t mean to
realizing that every friend you have is going to find someone and leave you because that person is going to mean more to them than you ever did
knowing that even when your love fills your entire heart, it’s never going to mean as much as romance does
wishing and wishing and wishing that maybe if you tried hard enough, you could fall in love
every emotion you have ever had in your entire life is fake and meaningless because none of them were romo
no one is there to listen to you and you are screaming into an unforgiving void whenever you try to talk about this
nothing in any community will ever remember or include you and you don’t know if it’s on purpose or not and you feel like you’re being selfish for wanting to be included but also you are dying inside from a lack of support
the inability to imagine a future in which you are happy
overanalyzing every relationship you’ve ever had in a vain attempt to project romantic feelings you’ve never felt onto someone and fill the void in your chest where being normal should be
second guessing yourself about whether or not you like someone romantically even after having been solid in the aro identity for years
do you want to kiss someone for real or do you just want to want to kiss someone because amatonormativity is telling you to
not having any words to describe anything you feel and no one understanding or respecting the words you come up with to make yourself feel like less of a freak
being mocked mercilessly by people who should support you
having literally no representation in mainstream media
giving 20 min vocab lessons every time you come out
churning out positivity robotically trying to convince yourself and other people like you that you’re going to be okay when you dont even believe it yourself
the constant preaching of marriage and family in religious circles so much that you cannot imagine a life that does not include that but also feeling sick to your stomach every time you try to think of that being your life
Cant Relate, but to literally everything
no one giving a shit about your problems because they only care about their own issues
staying in the closet perpetually because coming out is too much effort
not being able to escape romance because it’s literally everywhere
not bothering to explain your relationships to people because they wouldn’t understand
being incapable of understanding your own feelings for other people because they live in a weird, uncategorizable gray space and will almost certainly not be reciprocated
