sometimes think would like to put together grand guide on how to find peace with each other , but kossai do not start from same perspectives as those who need advice most . still , think maybe would be nice to post about some of collective guidelines and processes .
one : courtiers do not assume casual insults to be OK with one another just because live together among court . this court is big enough that not everyone know each other all that well to start with , but even if smaller , most people in general would not think strangers insult with friendly intentions . some people only tolerate this out of fear of consequences , while others will assume legitimate violence and defend as such , both of which create preventable disharmony . best to just not assume .
two : if kossai ever feel unease or dread about arrivals , will work to understand why . is this someone who could potentially get violent ? might struggle to accept compromises of court life ? maybe expect will show up in extremely disoriented or distressed state , and need immediate supporters who can handle with care . there is always reason for such feelings , and new arrivals deserve for those feelings to be understood , rather than feel as if others intrinsically hate .
three : everyone get chance to be more than just utility . of course in collectives with lots of fragmentation , this is not always within reason , and would have to draw lines somewhere . still , even where some courtiers here have proficiencies or traits that become useful in certain situations , kossai do make effort to not throw in front just for those situations . not feasible to explore every different interest or taste hands on , but can at least note down preferences and keep in mind for surprises at front . no one is immune to burnout or hurt feelings , so need to take care of each other .
four : everything is important . sometimes someone here work on something , but later down line another realise that kind of just need to scrap . if there is something salvageable , will do best - if not , will at least keep credit of contributions intact . sometimes have something to work on , but next person up front refuse . sometimes this is for rest to avoid fizzle out and get hurt , sometimes fear of imperfection or cruel reactions . these situations not always ideal , might even feel like waste time , but no amount of frustration or strict rules for future will fix whatever underlie - every contribution and every choice is important , even when seem like not .
five : kossai make kindness and fun into habits . will pass compliments to each other . will switch to give each other favourite foods or other gifts . will set up and play silly games with each other . not feasible for every switch of every day , but if even one person contribute just one of these kindnesses per day , that add up into hundreds and then thousands of kindnesses as time pass .
obviously some of these require more switch control , front stability , and ease of communication than others , and unfortunately would not have much idea how to help with those skills . but , maybe some of these give ideas if harmony is something that struggle with .
