While the world is spinning

Courtney. PDX. I have a book blog.

[toastbutteregg]

[yessoupy]

GOD I just want to be CREATIVE but all my energy is being used to survive

[cries-havoc]

this is one of those "you put it into words" kind of posts. right on.

[compulsive]

[necessaryprotection-deactivated]

[especially]

[courtlee]

My aunt sent me a text today saying how proud she was of me for setting boundaries for myself. It's kind of hard to think about something like setting boundaries as a positive thing when at the time of setting them, it was out of fear and pain. Childhood trauma and emotional abuse is so weird. You realize you're doing certain things in life because you're subconsciously trying to not be your abuser. It can be as simple as washing laundry or cleaning the bathroom.

I then got weirdly introspective and realized everyone is just kinda moving on in life without me. I haven't felt alone in awhile. My next personal goal is to buy a house. I want to be somewhere permanent. I need some place that is mine and that I can make my own. Moving every few years is daunting and I hate how anxious I get thinking about moving, even when it's months away. I know you're not supposed to base your life on what others around you are doing, but it's hard not to.

But overall, I realized it would be nice to do life with someone. But also my cat. I literally wouldn't get through a day without her.

[courtleereads]

For the most part, you don’t hold the people you love in your heart because they rescued you from drowning or pulled you from a burning house. Mostly you hold them in your heart because they save you, in a million quiet and perfect ways, from being alone.

Goodbye Days by Jeff Zenter

[elizabyss333]

“All too often women believe it is a sign of commitment, an expression of love, to endure unkindness or cruelty, to forgive and forget. In actuality, when we love rightly we know that the healthy, loving response to cruelty and abuse is putting ourselves out of harm’s way.”

— bell hooks

[ttssml]

came out swinging // the wonder years

[elizabyss333]

“The rest of my room is book shelves. I hoard books. They are people who do not leave.”

— Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters (via florizels)

[maryjasonmason]

LAST HOPE  • PARAMORE

[courtlee]

I've been really depressed lately and I think it has a lot to do with my job. The company I work for is being acquired and all the tasks I like about my job are being taken away from me. So, I applied for a couple new jobs. And I applied to take some classes at the community college, because I miss school. I'm hoping for some positive change in the new year.

Or maybe I just need to start seeing a therapist again.

[trashy-greyjoy]

Brandon, did you even try?

[warandpeas]

Slutty Witch

[yamakucci]

[specialcar]

[joebidensanonymous]

KeatonPatti

[sadphonics]

Harder hat and gun that is alive kill me

[max--phillips]

The funniest thing about this to me is that Kinko’s doesn’t even exist anymore