I Will Eat You, Children

Fitzgerald me the green light Gatsby saw.

[ferine]

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Here’s a hymn to welcome in the day, Heralding a summer’s early sway, And all the bulbs all coming in, to begin.

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[martindykewood]

i love writing uncomfortable conversationsssss i love shitty communication skills i love misunderstandings i love competing and contradictory needs and desires i love situations where nobody is happy and theyre just talking about it but its not fixing anything :)

[martindykewood]

i love when nobody says what they mean and i love when nobody understands what they should from what is being said and i love when nobody thinks before they speak and i love when everybody thinks theyre having a different conversation and i love when everybody is trying their best and it just SUCKS

[uberfluss]

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

[coyotesuspect]

really enjoyed the first two episodes of half man; did have to watch large parts of the second episode though my fingers, sound off, subtitles on

[coyotesuspect]

at a wedding at a fancy barn. Life really does imitate art. 🥲

[coyotesuspect]

wait I forgot that weddings make me super anxious

[coyotesuspect]

at a wedding at a fancy barn. Life really does imitate art. 🥲

[coyotesuspect]

stating the obvious, but I've had a couple experiences lately that made me realize my alcohol tolerance has become waaay too high on account of how much I've been drinking this last yearish, so I've decided to cut back/not drink for a bit, and it's really opened my eyes to how ubiquitous alcohol is. It's everywhere! It's constantly available! I was at the zoo today and it felt like every 100 yards or so was some kiosk selling beers and canned cocktails. The zoo!

[coyotesuspect]

would like to report that I've done a very good job at cutting back on my drinking, and also have made quite a few other health tweaks in the last month (walking more, keeping my phone in another room when I sleep, cooking more and eating less takeout, etc), and, unfortunately, it all Helps.

[chamomile-teabag]

WHAT ARE YALL READING RN you must tell me

[coyotesuspect]

judge before the sentencing hearing, incredulous: You're asking for house arrest? That's extremely below mitigated!

me: >:| I have a presentation.

judge, after my presentation, head in his hands: Mr. ____, I am constrained to believe that your rehabilitative needs would best be served on a period of house arrest...

me, sitting next to my client: >:]

[torracat]

this is the money garf. reblog for untold pasta and riches to come your way

[coyotesuspect]

real seesaw of a morning. found out I'm going to owe $600 for a medical procedure my doctor ordered but ALSO won a $500 gift card to buy a bike.

[coyotesuspect]

scrolling through the tags of the guardian's 100 best books of all time post and it has once again reminded me that the average tumblr user is pretty fucking dumb

[thethirdromana]

The 100 best novels of all time

The top 100 novels of all time published in English, as voted for by authors, critics and academics worldwide. How many have you read?

How many of the Guardian's 100 best novels of all time have you read?

0-10

11-20

21-30

31-40

41-50

51-60

61-70

71-80

81-90

91-100

Voting ended onMay 19

Bonus: add in the tags which one is your favourite.

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you have this superpower! BUT you have this side-effect

is it worth it?

yes!!

the side effect is bad but ITS WORTH IT

meh it's okay

the side effect makes it unusable/not worth it

Results/option I didn't think of

Voting ended onMay 20

[therisingking]

I must not delay task. Delay task is the mindkiller. Delay task is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my task. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the task has gone there will be nothing. Only completed task will remain.

[coyotesuspect]

the county requires all managers to work at the polls during Election Day (and we have one coming up), so I'm currently clicking through my required poll worker training PowerPoints and just got to "what to do if federal immigration officers show up at your polling place and attempt to take ballots" cool cool cool