Ok... you may think me insane when I say this but I believe all evidence points to Drippy. What the hell does he need that big ass nose and mouth for? Smelling things... pleasant scents.. perfumes.. sweet citrus and other fruits. It wouldn't be too far fetched to say that snoofer was evolved PURELY for smelling mamas Blackberry Jam. And as for tasting it... well, I'm no "scientist" but we can all agree that that mouth can compensate. And hey, who can blame him? We all love blackberry jam, right? Who doesn't? But man oh man.. I'm afraid a certain boat has delayed a vital shipment of said blackberry jam. What is a man, nature's true beast, supposed to do in a situation like this? You go crazy. You lose your grip on reality. All one can focus on is the seething unbearable urge to get. that. jam. Now Shmeeze.. Shmeeze was a selfish man, no doubts about that. He was such a hoarder of useless items. Imagine saving a single contact? Or shoelace? Furthermore... 50 gallons of blackberry jam. Did such a habit warrant death? No! Absolutely not. But.. it was reason enough for Drippy. With his knife, he stabbed Shmeeze before drowning him in his own blackberry jam. Coming to his senses after his fit of rage, Drippy cried, knowing know he had tainted the one thing he had killed his old friend for. He was quick to drive off, leaving the barrel and his friend on the side of the interstate. Thankfully a compilation of security cam and dash cam footage show the entirety of the murder. Here it is. Trigger warning, obviously.
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