like drunk history but more jesus-y

jesus was a brown socialist jewish man who was friends with sex workers and all sorts of societally "undesirable" characters. stop using religion as an excuse to be an asshole. nobody likes that. jesus literally made speeches about how that's super awful, thanks. and while you're at it, don't just pray for jesus to take care of someone's problems. be the answer to their prayers if that is within your ability.

[thescienceofapologetics]

[x]

[clementimetodie]

I think this is the best version of this meme

[vonkarn]

angel with pronouns be like "he/hymn"

[vonkarn]

DON'T be FUNNIER THAN ME

[fairtradebananas]

“God poured me out like milk and curdled me like cheese” sounds like a post you’d find on tumblr dot com, but it is in fact Job 10:10

[tophats-tea]

sliding scale of posts about Jesus being a carpenter who was nailed to a cross

[appleflavoredkitkats]

@katsurolle

[rhinco]

you know what dad? maybe i don't wanna be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned. it's a lot of pressure to put on me and honestly i've been feeling stressed recently because of it

[concentrated-mug-of-me]

hold on lemme google something

[concentrated-mug-of-me]

ok yeah this is funny

[la-mancha-screwjob]

@apocrypals

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Okay this is just getting funny now

[shaxza]

in the bible in revelations i think or somewhere, it warns you that near the end times, false prophets will pop up claiming to be the messiah. do you ever think scholars from like 700 years ago studying the bible would have thought this would be one of them

[blemgoid]

love david and goliath being like one of the main bible stories for kids. like yeah you might be small but with god on your side you can kill someone with a rock

[shenzi-hemlock]

Oh so when golden boy David does it, he’s heroic and a man after God’s own heart, but when I, CAIN-

[rednines]

Draw your theological lessers with stink-lines coming off of them to demonstrate the superiority of your sect

[mysharona1987]

[glyphsmash]

my stupid fucking aunt loraine bought us an air friar for our wedding present 🤦‍♀️ the apartments barely big enough for the two of us now weve got this dumb asshole flying around preaching at us ... every time i get a migraine he tries to give me herbs and poultices 🙄

[hiveswap]

He got crucified wat rhe fucj

[hiveswap]

Hey do you guys want joint custody of this post

[wolfythewitch]

Joseph's brothers would have sold him to One Direction

[ryfkah]

And it came to pass, when Joseph was come unto his brethren, that they stript Joseph out of his coat, his coat of many colours that was on him;

And they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it.

And they sat down to eat bread: and they lifted up their eyes and looked, and, behold, a company of youths came from London with their entourages bearing black jeans, blazers and eyeliner, carrying it for the stage.

And Judah said unto his brethren, What profit is it if we slay our brother, and conceal his blood?

Come, and let us sell him to One Direction, and let not our hand be upon him; for he is our brother and our flesh. And his brethren were content.

[tsarina-anadyomene-deactivated2]

walking around the theology conference asking where you can get some of this godhead everyone's talking about

[wolfythewitch]

yeah

[thefloatingstone]

[log6]

"Christ on a cracker" well actually I think you'll find Christ is the cracker. And also the wine. But you wouldn't know that you fucking protestant heathen

[ineloquent-tumbling]

I was driving up to a friend’s for the weekend on Friday and nearly broke down in tears because I saw a billboard on the side of a southern highway. It had the same yellow background with red text that those awful, ubiquitous “Jesus Saves!” billboards have. I nearly missed it.

It said:

“Rejoice! God loves trans kids!”

[a-queer-seminarian]

I have a photo of it! From a tweet I saw about this lovely sign the other day.

[theweirdwideweb]

[theweirdwideweb]

[darthmelyanna]

I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend