stream lalalulala

gaku sideblog | 🔞 | spoilers (100/100)

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gaku maruko could do das kapital, but karl marx couldn't do lalalulala

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For that one person that asked about Gakuzomi, here's how takumi feels after that happens (just for the joke lol):

i was so inspired i had to do this on my phone as quickly as possible

[redbeersake]

Photocard I drew for a stamp rally! Love my gooner gang

[uragshaa]

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i like that yugamu seeks painful sensory experiences as a means of escapism and exerting autonomy over his body (evoking this jenny holzer piece) contrasting with gaku who fixates on superficial pleasures that aren't actually fulfilling to him in pursuit of control + normalcy. yugamu rejects the pain/pleasure dichotomy by accepting the idea that both are inherently intertwined - and through this, he also embraces his capacity to hurt his loved ones, so long as it is 'for the greater good.' on the other hand, gaku unknowingly rejects the dichotomy by avoiding both pleasurable and painful experiences. i think that's why, in my mind, gakugamu is inherently transformative; i really like when they're pushed outside of their comfort zones to learn from each other - especially in 'mundane' ways.

maybe gaku cooks yugamu a meal, and they eat together and the atmosphere is comfortable and the food tastes good and there's no catch or 'punishment' and the experience is profound despite the fact that they're Just Eating Dinner.

maybe they have a stupid argument one day that goes unresolved and gaku heads to bed because he has to get up early for work the next day, and when he wakes up the next morning, he sees that yugamu slept in his bed that night anyway, and even if he's med, he's a little happy, too.

it's the little things, over time.

[zuuron]

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gaku's paranoia is really interesting, because even though a lot of his fears seem completely unfounded... he's right! like, his prayer fest with takumi in box of calamity DOES lead to more of the sdu making out out alive in ed36!

but also, it seems like his intution is prone to catching things from other timelines? the first example that comes to mind is when he's suspicious of kurara in slasher, in a way, he's accurately 'predicting' her replacement by kako-g in mystery.

[squidcandy]

birthday yugaku for @takkyei of the Absolute Boyfriend AU!

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honestly, i don't really love the broader fandom perception of yugaku, because there IS a not-insignificant amount of them interacting with each other. sure, it's not much compared to the 'big' ships, but it's definitely there, and it's kind of annoying that a lot of people act like it makes no sense or came out of nowhere (as if potential for canonicity is a defining factor when it comes to shipping anyway?).

in second scenario, gaku dies feeling miserable, while yugamu dies feeling relieved.

their dreams in rebellion play off each other (cafeteria worker and school nurse).

gaku says he thinks yugamu is attractive in casual.

all of slasher, honestly

when yugamu is missing in combat, gaku asks about him.

and that's ignoring how their personalities and backstories play off of each other in a ton of interesting ways:

so much of their motivations revolve around love: gaku's love for his siblings (tangible, familial) contrasts the love of yugamu's escapist fantasies (romanticized, sexual).

both of them are socially stunted due to their family situations.

gaku wants to remain with his adopted family, and is unable to recognize that he has been mistreated, whereas yugamu knows that his family treats him poorly and wants to cut them off.

both of them are misunderstood by most of the other sdu members, and often play into these assumptions (though the reasons for doing so vary).

relatedly, gaku often molds himself into a more passive social role, while yugamu is more likely to be assertive (you can most clearly see this in their relationships with takumi).

gaku is bad at killing, and most of his strengths have to do with nurturing; yugamu is a professional assassin who struggles with Not Hurting Others (even unintentionally).

gaku frequently fixates on shallow markers of validation while yugamu seeks (what is his odea of a) genuine connection.

gaku's comphet + yugamu's open bisexuality

pain-averse 'vanilla' gaku + sadomasochist yugamu (but actually, they're both perverts)

gaku wants to live; yugamu wants to die.

that's all i could list off the top of my head, and i still know i've missed Something. and all of this goes completely unaddressed for the entire game! whatever.

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i know a key aspect of the tragedy of the truth is that everyone's families and backstories aren't real, but i was thinking about the popular headcanon that the oosuzukis are a real family and kurara is essentially walking propaganda for them, and like... What If the marukos ARE real. what if there was some sort of lottery with a cash prize, and they entered because they needed money to take care of the kids, and they won, and...

obviously this basically only has serious implications for endings where the sdu returns to the trc, but imagine! especially if the cash prize isn't real, and the scientists were planning on getting rid of the sdu if they tried to return/reintegrate after the mission... the drama of gaku having memories of people who know nothing about him and may be completely different from how he remembers them, and he was never supposed to know. the cruelty of the parents gaku remembers as distant being wealthy and loving and present for his 'siblings', who don't even know he exists.

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i think about gaku and eva's band practice sometimes... eva suddenly experiencing a flash from her past - a broken melody that reminds her of home, a few isolated steps from a traditional dance, a chant used for fertility rituals - screaming in pain, while gaku's just trying to have a good time. he wanted to hang out with 'a friend' - or as close as he feels he could get to one anyway.

the first time it happens, he finds it annoying - why does HE have to deal with this? the band isn't gonna make any progress! - but i think afterwards, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. maybe even keeps him up at night. music is so important to him, that i think the idea of it affecting someone else like that would be almost... haunting?

obviously, gaku struggling with empathy and being part of a colonial project means music isn't something they could bond over in a 'normal' way, but it could be interesting to see gaku's dynamic with eva explored through music. it would be a nice a way of learning about futurum and its people and culture(s), while also developing eva further.

[biggie-chcese]

oh my god you've had thoughts about this too! i absolutely love the scenario you wrote up- it's so true to gaku. the band partners FTE is interesting bc even though it's supposed to be funny i also think about how music can have such a strong hold on memories (even in cases like people with dementia receiving music therapy, and how familiar music helps the most) and how it could possibly break eva past her brainwashing. the way that gaku counteracts turamtammi's music with his own and also reverse engineers futuran funeral music from scratch also comes to mind in how close he comes to resonance with futurans through this shared culture but never putting enough thought into it to tackle the difficult feelings that come with the question of "are we the baddies?"

i went to go find my ramble on discord about an interaction between them and thought i'd have mentioned the musical aspect, but instead i forgot... i still wanna share though since i focused more on eva's status as someone who also had to take care of a child at a far too young age due to the horrors of war, but loving that child unconditionally, how she parallels gaku in that aspect in a strange way

i definitely meant to mention this was during their "band practice" but forgot... either way it's another thing to add to the pile of things that will eat away at gaku about their mission even if he complains about it and tries shoving it to the back of his mind

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i'm so glad i'm not the only one who's thought about this! i've been roling the idea around in my head for months - so much so that i hoped to write a fic for it, but at this point, i'm not sure it'll happen, so i scrabbled this down instead.

huge agree with everything you've said about the fte and gaku's relationship with (futuran) music - it feels like gaku specifically is 'so close' to the connecting with futurans (maybe because of his background?) and understanding that what they're doing is wrong, but he's never able to take that 'final step' until the end of second scenario.

ahhh, thank You for sharing!! i love the image of gaku alone, surrounded by silence, despite the garishness and typical loudness of the rec room. the contrast of 'how things should be' (fun and 'normal') vs. how they really are...

also, you're So right; in my head eva is Very Much An Adult (despite the fact that her age is pretty ambiguous), so i didn't even think about them paralleling each other in that way... gaku paralleling both eva and kamyuhn... the concept of an adultified eva and adultified gaku and adultified kamyuhn in one room together... i love killing game nozomi but, in another world, i would have liked to see gaku play a similar role, but i digress

[biggie-chcese]

yessss. no pressure but if you do write a fic about it i would love to read it! regardlessni love the posting abt it anyway

the rec room imagery isnt even something i picked up on while typing it but now that you mention it, it's so incredibly true. that kind of dissonance is present in eva's whole charcter (the brainwashed prioner of war typically taking on a "comedic relief" role) and to a lesser extent, gaku's... i love that a lot

and as for eva's age, i also consider her an adult but i was also thinking about how old kamyuhn may be (10? 12 maybe?) and how even if eva were in her early twenties, she still would be a teen parent. unless kamyuhn was adopted rather recently, which is not the impression i had. but yeah! there's a lot to think about how their situations had them all grow up too fast and they could really connect through that.

p.s.: turns out the real reason gaku died in kg route was because during the eva+nozomi motherhood arc there'd be a gaku shaped elephant in the room /j

EDIT: i completely forgot to mention that i also enjoyed the linked post (tho the 2nd scen link didnt work) and wanted to add to that with the fact that even though gaku doesn't do manual labor, within the canon examples of the jobs he has (cook, dj, flower shop worker, dive bar worker) his work as a cook and flower shop worker have much to do with service and nurture. especially in the case of the flower shop job. some manual labor like mining and lumberworking and even farming can have a detrimental impact to the surrounding environment, despite being so connected to nature itself. i think there's something beautiful about the fact that gaku's work is built to uplift and promote life rather than harvest resources. despite working in an artificial environment he can still have much in common with the themes eva carries as the paragon of nature

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you're too kind! if i ever end up pulling it out of wip hell, i will try to remember to post about it

YOU'RE RIGHT THOUGH... the way killing game is just The Gaku-Shaped Elephant In The Room Route.. he should have been there...

augh, thank you for reading and catching that - the link should be fixed now (at least in the original post)! i don't have anything to add to the rest of your last paragraph - it's so, so good!! reminds me of one of my favorite gaku lines:

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i think about gaku and eva's band practice sometimes... eva suddenly experiencing a flash from her past - a broken melody that reminds her of home, a few isolated steps from a traditional dance, a chant used for fertility rituals - screaming in pain, while gaku's just trying to have a good time. he wanted to hang out with 'a friend' - or as close as he feels he could get to one anyway.

the first time it happens, he finds it annoying - why does HE have to deal with this? the band isn't gonna make any progress! - but i think afterwards, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. maybe even keeps him up at night. music is so important to him, that i think the idea of it affecting someone else like that would be almost... haunting?

obviously, gaku struggling with empathy and being part of a colonial project means music isn't something they could bond over in a 'normal' way, but it could be interesting to see gaku's dynamic with eva explored through music. it would be a nice a way of learning about futurum and its people and culture(s), while also developing eva further.

[biggie-chcese]

oh my god you've had thoughts about this too! i absolutely love the scenario you wrote up- it's so true to gaku. the band partners FTE is interesting bc even though it's supposed to be funny i also think about how music can have such a strong hold on memories (even in cases like people with dementia receiving music therapy, and how familiar music helps the most) and how it could possibly break eva past her brainwashing. the way that gaku counteracts turamtammi's music with his own and also reverse engineers futuran funeral music from scratch also comes to mind in how close he comes to resonance with futurans through this shared culture but never putting enough thought into it to tackle the difficult feelings that come with the question of "are we the baddies?"

i went to go find my ramble on discord about an interaction between them and thought i'd have mentioned the musical aspect, but instead i forgot... i still wanna share though since i focused more on eva's status as someone who also had to take care of a child at a far too young age due to the horrors of war, but loving that child unconditionally, how she parallels gaku in that aspect in a strange way

i definitely meant to mention this was during their "band practice" but forgot... either way it's another thing to add to the pile of things that will eat away at gaku about their mission even if he complains about it and tries shoving it to the back of his mind

[crazy-shot]

i'm so glad i'm not the only one who's thought about this! i've been roling the idea around in my head for months - so much so that i hoped to write a fic for it, but at this point, i'm not sure it'll happen, so i scrabbled this down instead.

huge agree with everything you've said about the fte and gaku's relationship with (futuran) music - it feels like gaku specifically is 'so close' to the connecting with futurans (maybe because of his background?) and understanding that what they're doing is wrong, but he's never able to take that 'final step' until the end of second scenario.

ahhh, thank You for sharing!! i love the image of gaku alone, surrounded by silence, despite the garishness and typical loudness of the rec room. the contrast of 'how things should be' (fun and 'normal') vs. how they really are...

also, you're So right; in my head eva is Very Much An Adult (despite the fact that her age is pretty ambiguous), so i didn't even think about them paralleling each other in that way... gaku paralleling both eva and kamyuhn... the concept of an adultified eva and adultified gaku and adultified kamyuhn in one room together... i love killing game nozomi but, in another world, i would have liked to see gaku play a similar role, but i digress

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gaku is often characterized as someone who is especially willing to parrot sirei's propaganda back to the group, usually with the justification that he's 'stupid' or too money-obsessed to care, but... that isn't true. the game even spells it out near the end of second scenario:

the significance of gaku specifically being willing to parrot sirei's propaganda to the group is because he is being exploited financially due to his poverty background; he has no 'personal' stake or interest in fighting, unlike some of the other sdu members. in this sense, his 'support' for the war is similar to his investment in normative masculinity: winning the war is a way of escaping from his financial situation, much like how 'being a normal guy' will save him from social ostracization. it's not a coincidence that these beliefs are ideologically linked and that neither of them work out for him:

gaku DOES care - arguably, he always did - but he's only able to admit it after the truth is revealed and the satellite is destroyed. it's too little, too late.

at the very end, he couches his words in this self-deprecating manner. i've seen people interpret this line as him implying he's stupid, but i think he feels guilty. look at this earlier chain of dialogue:

he sounds guilty! he's hoping that sitting down and talking will fix everything, because he Knows they did something horrific and he doesn't know how to cope with that. and when eito reminds him that such a simple resolution is Not likely, gaku starts spiraling again.

[crazy-shot]

i think about gaku and eva's band practice sometimes... eva suddenly experiencing a flash from her past - a broken melody that reminds her of home, a few isolated steps from a traditional dance, a chant used for fertility rituals - screaming in pain, while gaku's just trying to have a good time. he wanted to hang out with 'a friend' - or as close as he feels he could get to one anyway.

the first time it happens, he finds it annoying - why does HE have to deal with this? the band isn't gonna make any progress! - but i think afterwards, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. maybe even keeps him up at night. music is so important to him, that i think the idea of it affecting someone else like that would be almost... haunting?

obviously, gaku struggling with empathy and being part of a colonial project means music isn't something they could bond over in a 'normal' way, but it could be interesting to see gaku's dynamic with eva explored through music. it would be a nice a way of learning about futurum and its people and culture(s), while also developing eva further.

[crazy-shot]

the more i think about it, the more bummed i get that gaku and kamyuhn never seriously interact; i would have liked to see the game explore the ways in which they've been adultified and how their experiences differ with regards to their social standing - with kamyuhn being the leader of the rebellion and gaku sort of being a 'nobody'

also, it would be fun to imagine gaku trying to dote on her... i can't imagine it would go over very well, but it wouldn't stop him from trying!

[silwer999]

Had a dream about a viral Tkgk scrapbooking trend the other day and decided to bring it to life