My journey
I always knew that I have Jewish blood running through my veins. My great grandmother was an ashkenazi Jew. Technically, my grandfather is Jewish. It is just… no one talks about that side of the family. That, right there, breaks my heart. I’ve wondered what and who made me the way I am. I’ve always been a curious person. My bubbe passed when I was very young. I don’t remember much of her. But I’ve been told I am like her.
I consider myself an amateur genealogist. History is just my thing. Took the ancestry DNA test and all that Jazz. I’ve been working on my family tree for over a year now. Every other side of my family is great. My big roadblock… is her family! It is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You see, her family came to America ( from now Germany ) in the mid 1800s. Key word…Germany! It is next to impossible to find information for her family. Especially when her parents came from two separate parts of Germany. I have got as far as her Grandparents. It is not much. But I’ve been slowly working my way through the sites. The reason that I mention this. I have always felt Jewish. It is a part of me. When I first read, The Diary of Anne Frank, I felt kindred. I really can’t explain it. Like that part of me woke up. The hibernation in my consciousness came alive. I guess it made me close to my bubbe too. Yes, she lived in New York City. But she did have family in Germany. I just want to have names to go with the feelings. Why did my great grandmother not teach her children about the traditions of her family?
I don’t know the reason. Was she ashamed? After all, my great grandfather was an Anglican Canadian from Nova Scotia. I am not saying that as an accusation. I am just really curious. Even her sister married into the family. Yes…you read that right. My grandfather has double 1st cousins. Or had, he is 94 or 95. I can’t really remember. It just gets very frustrating. My moms Side of the family is no problem. I know my roots from her side. I know all about my Anglican Canadian side. I know, next to nothing, about Elsie’s (my great grandmother) family. I just found it weird that I knew Elsie’s parents names before my own grandfather!
My point is… I want to find my Jewish roots! I want to reclaim what was lost to me! I grew up as a Christian. I’ve just never felt comfortable in that environment. I might be grasping at straws. It is just that I have always felt comfortable in an environment with people like me. I guess I am searching for a part of me. A part I never knew that I lost…
This is my journey!