Library Lurker

ADHD Librarian who obsesses over kimono & fanfics

[walterfairholmes]

Ahsoka: How do I do that, Master?

Anakin: You don't know?

Anakin: Didn't you learn anything in the Jedi Temple school?

Ahsoka: The midichlorian is the powerhouse of the Force.

[crazylibrarian]

YES! I literally made a “midichlorians are the powerhouse of the Jedi” joke at work and just got blank stares. I’m so glad someone out here gets my Star Wars humor. 😊

[catchymemes]

[crazylibrarian]

I don’t think there’s a better song out there. What would you play? #ems #firefighter #song

We just won't talk about what we are playing in the cab...

Soooo… literally this?

[carriesthewind]

Is it ok to take notes in the margins of library books?

No, because it's rude to other readers.

No, because it can damage the book.

No, because it's never ok to take notes in the margins of books.

Yes, because I need to take notes understand what I'm reading.

Yes, because it enhances the experience for other readers.

Yes, because if it bothers other readers, they should just buy their own copy.

No (some other reason - please put tags)

Yes (some other reason - please put in tags)

Voting ended onMay 8, 2023

I have very strong opinions on this subject, and I'm curious how others feel.

[crazylibrarian]

TL;DR: For the love of arguing with stubborn, self-righteous patrons, please move your commentary/discussion out of the margins of library books and to an online discussion forum where you can scream about your opinions to your heart’s content. Additionally, if you absolutely must take notes in the margins of library books, then do it with an erasable pencil so your marginalia can be removed as needed. 📚

I saw this poll and, as a former public librarian who has dealt with marginalia, I couldn’t help myself. I had to reblog with my old library’s policies and own experiences. 😊

When I worked in the public library, one of the great argument inducers between librarians and patrons, was the patron addition of marginalia in print books. There was always questions on the librarian’s end about what to do with it; keep it? remove it? charge the patron for defacing the book? While there is a lot of fascinating, and ongoing, research on marginalia and the window it provides into the history and the society of the time that it was added, our stance regarding marginalia at the public library generally had to be “No!” for a few basic reasons:

1) Most readers did feel it was rude to add marginalia. “Don’t shove [your] personal commentary into my escapist fantasy reading.” - Irritated Patron

2) Other readers couldn’t help but reply to the marginalia with further commentary and arguments in response; usually leading to extensive defacement of the book and even some attempts to ‘edit’ the book itself. (And it was often the same type ‘editing’ that’s currently being waged on library collections today. 😤)

3) We found that 9 times out of 10, marginalia commentary was only tangentially related to the book’s content and mainly based on the previous reader’s own personal, religious, or political opinions …or it was drawings of genitalia; some of which were more skillful & accurate than others. This, of course, inevitably led to the next reader complaining to the library staff about the commentary, or drawing ability, of the patron who added the marginalia in the first place.

Since patron complaints make the wheels of bureaucracy go round, this meant that if the marginalia was ‘non-removable’ (added with a permanent medium like ink), my library was forced to charge the patron who had added the marginalia the cost of a new book; in order to replace the current copy they had ‘defaced.’ So the one patron who ‘corrected’ a book by marking out all the words with British spellings and penning in the American spellings, and another patron who ‘fixed’ a book by marking out all the swear words with a marker, both had to pay for replacements for the books they had ‘defaced.’ Yes, of course both patrons were quite angry about having to pay for replacements since they had so generously ‘fixed’ the books for the library in the first place. 🤦‍♀️

The few times we were allowed to leave non-removable marginalia intact, without charging the patron for defacing the book, was because the marginalia was pointing out and correcting a misprint or factual inaccuracy that was missed in editing, or that had changed after the book was printed.

So, all this to say, if you are someone who needs to take notes or add comments to the margins of library books, then please, at the very least, make your notes with an erasable pencil, since it is removable/reversible. That way you won’t be charged for permanently ‘defacing’ a book, but can still add the notes/commentary you need to enjoy the it. And if your notes are interesting/insightful, then yes, they will absolutely end up on a librarian discussion board (or Tumblr post!) before they get erased. 😊

[goddessofroyalty]

Crack AU where Anakin can all of a sudden hear the background music that we all hear. Those pleasant chats with Palpy become a lot more ominous. Though Anakin admits that the fights have become a lot more epic. Thoughts?

Hahahahaha. Love it!

And okay, my first though was “and the galaxy was saved because even Anakin Skywalker would struggle to keep trusting Palpatine with that music playing in the background”

Anakin think he’s gone COMPLETELY insane (maybe he’s finally been electrocuted too many times and its fried his brain). He doesn’t tell anyone though because he can still fight just fine just… everything is a lot more musical. He doesn’t want to be thought crazy and taken off the front lines.

Once he figures out what the various musical cues mean he actually finds them useful in figuring out how dangerous a situation is. Also battles are so much cooler now and boring landscapes are slightly less boring because at least now they have mood music. Yep, he can live with this.

(Although he is always confused why the ominousness that is The Imperial March starts playing at some of his decisions)

[angelqueen04]

*cracks up*

[forcearama]

Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.

Music: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!

Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?

Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]

Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?

Music: [Force Theme plays]

Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful. 

[angelqueen04]

Positive reinforcement at its finest. ;D

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

#lol#i’m just imagining the force throwing its metaphysical hands in the air like ‘subtlety obviously isn’t working with this one so have a whole#symphony of hints young reckless one’ (via @likealeafonthewind)

I’m crying from laughter, this is beautiful.

Anakin: *fucks up*

The Force: Son, please… Guess I’m gonna enable the hints menu.

[forcearama]

THE HINTS MENU. *dies* 

Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved. 

Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi – 

Music: [Duel of the Fates] 

Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]

Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –

Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th – 

Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–

Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?

Music: [scary ass music from the opera scene] 

Anakin and Obi-Wan: AHHHH

[forcearama]

I randomly thought of this post again today and it made me laugh 

[forcearama]

For the record in that last line I always pictured them clinging to each other in fear like Shaggy and Scooby: 

ACCURATE OH MY GOD

[b3n-kenobi]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

I would so read this.

[inqorporeal]

@forcearama

[forcearama]

Palpatine’s face is killing me. 

[icanbringyouincold]

I can’t breathe oh my god this is fucking funny

[labyrinth-runner]

@himboskywalker don’t hide those in the tags. It made it better.

[obi-wan-kenobi-the-sass-master]

@thepanakinanakin

[randomslasher]

“What a beautiful blending of our leitmotifs!” 

[crazylibrarian]

Everyone: Why are you still on tumblr?

Me: Fandom content like this.

[sskyguy-blog]

                   the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)

[luckyjak]

#no but really#why wasn’t anakin a crechemaster#why did they let him major in stabbing?#star wars#queue (tags @cadesama)

OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?

what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.

you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.

anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.

He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”

this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;

[angelqueen04]

Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

BUT CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)

he keeps comming over the years, but it’s always like

BEEP

“Anakin, my boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“

“I’m sorry, Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”

BEEP

“My dear boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“

“Well, it can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”

BEEP

“Anakin, I’d like to—“

“I’m terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”

BEEP

“You’ve reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”

BEEP

“It’s such a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple, Anakin.”

“Thank you, Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning opportunity for the young ones—“

Palpatine closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.

BEEP

“Ah, Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“

BEEP

“Anakin, I hoped you—“

“Oh! Chancellor,” the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink, and he’s probably already in crèche…”

BEEP

Then there’s that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his reaction to that incident, the better.

BEEP

“—fortunately, they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened in the first place, Chancellor.”

Palpatine snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.

“My boy, I absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls on.

“I think Jedi Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates! Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“

Palpatine swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.

BEEP

“Forgot his comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”

Slaughtering younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after taking over galaxy some time ago.

[grand-duc]

this post keeps getting better and better

[suzume42]

More please! Tagging @systlin, @beautifultoastdream and @karama9

[karama9]

That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless. Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health. The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.

I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.

[beautifultoastdream-deactivated]

After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.

Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.

Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.

Attachments FTW.

[systlin]

God, YES

[systlin]

Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species.  Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.  

20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy. 

[dreamer-wisher-liar]

I am so sorry this ate my brain and then things ran away from me. I AM SORRY.  So. Anakin leads an army to retrieve his children and it’s this twisted version of everything Sidious ever wanted and he’s prepared for that.

But Sidious always underestimates how love changes things. And while he’s prepared to fight Anakin’s devoted army of former crechelings, he underestimates how that’s changed the rest of the Order.

Because Obi-Wan is quieter about whom and how he loves but doesn’t make it any less strong. When Obi-Wan loves someone it is unconditional and unyielding and he has never loved anyone as much as he loves Anakin Skywalker. Then the twins are born and Anakin is bashfully about it but he’s not ashamed and of course Obi-Wan has to know, he can’t imagine Obi-Wan not knowing his children (Obi-Wan totally already knows, he has been rolling his eyes about this for months and waiting for Anakin to come to him so he doesn’t spook him or for Padme to knock some freaking sense into him, which she does, because not-dying Padme is scary post-pregnancy and not willing to deal with the stupid anymore) and then Padme hands him Leia and everything stutters to a halt for a moment because oh, oh no, Anakin has found him another padawan.

There is no one Obi-Wan will ever love as fiercely as Anakin, except for Anakin’s children, who may as well be his own children. And he knows from the moment he first holds her that Leia will be the greatest Jedi he ever has a hand in raising.

(It becomes a joke among the Knights and Masters at the temple after the Skywalker twins arrive. If you even think that you might like to take Leia as your padawan, you can feel Obi-Wan glare at you no matter where he is in the galaxy.)

And when Sidious kidnaps Anakin’s children – his future padawan – Obi-Wan is the only Jedi in the galaxy who can put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder and say we need a distraction to do this safely, trust me to bring them home for you. Anakin will lead the frontal assault and tear down all of Sidious’ carefully constructed plans. Obi-Wan will sneak in and safeguard their children and bring them home.

That’s the plan, anyway.

Here’s what none of them expected:

When Luke Skywalker came screaming and red-faced into the world, an ancient, meddling, troll of a Jedi Master who had vowed never to take another padawan felt it and thought: fuck.

Whereas Leia is, even as a child, stubborn and willful and silk hiding steel, Luke is twin balls of sunshine. Raised among Jedi, he is so bright a presence it hurts. Even raised among Jedi, he wears his heart on his sleeve and has absolutely no guile and he pouts when the cafeteria doesn’t serve his favourite dessert but will cheerfully walk across the room and give it to someone else if he senses that person is still hungry. The first time Luke sees Yoda he stares at him, all big blue eyes and pudgy baby hands, then grabs his ears and won’t let go. Everyone is horrified. Yoda harrumphs at him and tell him, “Patience, young one.” He toddles after Yoda from the time he can crawl and no matter how grouchy Yoda seems he never actively dissuades him from it.

After the twins enter the temple, Anakin always knows not to worry if Luke is missing from the crèche. Yoda will escort him back sooner or later.  

(He’s always much more worried when Leia disappears because, yes, Obi-Wan will bring her back but they’ll have always gotten into trouble in the meantime.)

Yoda does not confront Darth Sidious. Yoda does not lose his duel with the Sith lord and become diminished because of it. Yoda is with Obi-Wan, sneaking into his stronghold to see the twins safe. Yoda cannot go Sith hunting when Luke is in pain and gently clinging to him, his arms around his neck, bruised and bleeding and smiled at Yoda when he saw him because Luke knew he would come.

(Sidious cannot win, with them. Leia would risk her home being obliterated rather than betray her righteous cause. Luke would willingly walk into flames rather than give up on those he loves. It hurts, oh it hurts, to see the other in pain, but Leia can watch Luke being hurt and know there are more important things at stake than the two of them and Luke can watch Leia being hurt and trust that they will be saved.)

Sidious escapes but his Empire falls before it solidifies. He will never be as powerful as he needs to be.

(It’s Anakin who notices there is something wrong with the clones. He’s not their General but Obi-Wan is and Obi-Wan is a good general. When Obi-Wan is hurt, they’re all nosey and worried and Anakin – all but glued to his former Master’s bedside when it’s really bad and first and foremost a mechanic – can tell that something is wrong. He’s not always with them so it never becomes familiar, it never becomes normal, and it niggles at the back of his brain until he’s sitting in front of Obi-Wan’s bacta tank –  old training bond humming between them because Obi-Wan hates drugs and hates being sedated and he stays quieter and heals faster if Anakin is there to keep him calm – and Rex walks in to check on the General and Anakin turns around to look at him and he sees it.

The Jedi Order quietly deprograms the clone army. They trace the chip back to Palpatine. Padme and Bail Organa and Mon Mothma start quietly amassing information against him and his allies – enough for criminal charges, pushing Sidious to show his hand and try to kidnap the twins.)

Obi-Wan takes Leia as his Padawan the second she’s old enough for it to be proper. They are scarily well matched. If he was the Jedi’s best hope to keep planets from succeeding during the war, together they can talk whole systems into rejoining the rebuilding Republic. 

Yoda leaves Luke in the crèche until the day before his thirteenth birthday. Everyone is worried except Luke (who knows he is meant to be a Jedi and knows Master Yoda is meant to teach him and trusts this, since he was raised in the Temple. It’s easier to have faith when you’ve always had it and it’s never been wrong). Fourteen Jedi have tried to ask him to be their apprentice. Yoda bashed twelve of them over the head with his stick before they could and Luke turned two down himself, the last three days before his birthday. He spends his last day as a twelve-year old following his dad around, both of them a little clingier than usual. Anakin has always thought that Yoda intended to take Luke as his Padawan but he’s literally hours from aging out and he’s seriously considering comming Ashoka and begging her to come act as backup, when Luke suddenly hugs Anakin hard and quick and Anakin looks over and sees Yoda waiting in the doorway.

Anakin hugs Luke back very, very tightly and then he lets him go. Luke already has his few things packed and waiting. Yoda harrumphs at him. “Ready, you are, padawan mine?”

Luke’s smile is blinding. “Yes, Master.”

Leia talks star systems into rejoining the Republic. Luke returns the Fallen to the Jedi. Dooku is the first and most fleeting (having not been killed by Anakin) – having been betrayed and split from Sidious – Luke finds him when he’s dying and gets Yoda to him in time for him to pass them information on Sidious’ new schemes and die a Jedi, with his old master at his side. There are others, after that, who Fell during the war and didn’t think they could ever return from it. Luke, bright and shiny and full of faith, sees them, thinks, I can fix this, and brings them home one by one.

After the second Return, which is unavoidably public, Leia and Obi-Wan look at each other and enlist everyone they can to begin working to make Luke the new poster boy for the Order. Luke is intensely embarrassed by this and a bit bumbling and shy about it, which just makes it more attractive to everyone. It also keeps the spotlight well away from their rebuilding efforts, which are way easier when there’s less press exposure.

Sidious, who would still like to capture and corrupt the twins, eventually stops trying with Luke because there’s only a 50/50 anyone he sends after him will come back and between years of Yoda’s training (ie dodging his stick), Luke’s innate Force sense and his dumb luck he’s practically impossible to kill.

(Sidious dies ignobly at the hands of a new apprentice, one of the Fallen who Luke has been trying to save. His defeat was always going to be someone else’s redemption.)  

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

#I HAVE SO MANY FEELS ABOUT THIS META#GUYS#LUKE GETTING TO BE YODA’S PADAWAN PROPERLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY#OBI-WAN AND LEIA ARE A DREAM TEAM#THEY ARE FRIGHTENING TOGETHER#PADME IS SO PROUD#LUKE IS A LITTLE BALL OF WHINY SUNSHINE AND YODA JUST DELIGHTS HIM#MACE LAUGHS AT YODA FOREVER ABOUT IT#UNTIL BEN FUCKING SOLO COMES ALONG AND MACE IS ALL MOTHERFUCKER#I AM ALSO GOING TO HAVE TO WRITE THAT PIECE OF META BECAUSE BEN AS MACE WINDU’S PADAWAN ARGH#I WANT TO WRITE ALL THE STORIES IN THIS VERSE (via dreamer-wisher-liar)

You people need to tag me when you write, I keep missing good stuff like above!

[scribblebunnys]

Oh GOSH!

Everyone predicted Leia would eventually leave the order to follow in her mother’s footsteps but the SCANDAL that erupted when she married a former smuggler had the gossip rags going for years. Because circumstances sometimes change, but the Force will always find a way for certain absolutes. They have one son, and adopt several wayward young people along the way. 

Anakin is delighted by his grandson for all that he’s sad that he couldn’t share him with Obi-Wan, who passed just before he was born. Ben would follow his grandfather around like a baby duck and hated sharing him with the other younglings. He’d get so angry when he felt Anakin was giving the other children more attention than him. Anakin would gently explain that he couldn’t play favorites, but Ben would still react with anger and find a place to pout alone. 

He is five when he finds a nice secluded spot in the gardens, barely visible from the main path. A fountain sits in the center and Ben lets out his frustration by throwing small stones into it. He doesn’t notice Mace until he sits down right next to him and says “I like to come here too, when I’m angry.”

Ben is startled at first. Though he’s still small and largely untrained, no one has ever really snuck up on him before. He’s also never heard a master admit to being angry before. When questioned, Mace answers that everyone gets angry sometimes. The Jedi way isn’t the eradication of emotion, but the control of it. He brings Ben back to Anakin, who apologizes to the aging master for troubling him, but Mace dismisses the apology and tells him it was no trouble at all. Anakin glances sideways at Mace; they don’t always agree on things, but he can’t help but smile. It has been decades since Master Windu last took a padawan. 

As Ben grows older he excels in his lessons. He’s smart, persistent, and so, so powerful in the Force. He’s the very top of his class, and the only one who has yet to be chosen by a master. He still goes to the fountain when he finds himself at war with his emotions. Usually he meditates alone for a while until he is able to calm down, but sometimes, when he feels particularly lost, Master Windu will show up. At these times Ben will often ask for advice, but sometimes they will simply sit together in silence. 

Ben is desperate the day before he turns 13. He doesn’t understand how he could work so hard and not be noticed by a single master in the entire temple (which isn’t true, nearly everyone knows Ben Solo and can feel the pull of the Force around him. They also know they were not meant to guide him). He almost, almost comms his uncle and begs to take him as his padawan, but ultimately doesn’t because he knows how Luke follows the Force and if he were going to take him, he would have a long time ago. (Luke is busy anyway; a small girl in the outer rim is about to turn 3.) 

He goes out to the fountain to watch the sun set. The next day he’ll go before the Council of Reassignment to be placed into a division of the Jedi Service Corps. He supposes it wouldn’t be so bad to be placed into the Exploration Corps, he’d see much of the galaxy that way. He sits and plans and wills himself to not cry. After all, the Jedi way isn’t the eradication of emotion, but the mastery of it. 

Master Windu is still able to sneak up on him even though he’s doing so with a cane these days. Ben once held the hope that maybe the old master would take him as a padawan, but everyone knows Mace doesn’t take padawans anymore. His work on the Council is too important and he can’t give his precious time to a student, no matter what sort of strange bond has formed between them over the years. They sit for a moment before Ben breaks the silence. “What do you think my chances are of being assigned to the Exploration Corps?”

Mace seems to ponder the question for a moment. “Your scores in xenolinguistics is very high. You’ve also done very well in your survival field tests. You’d be a credit to the ExplorCorps.” He pauses for a moment. “Is that what you want to to do?”

Ben doesn’t give a straight answer, “It’s an honor,” he swallows the lump in his throat, “to be a part of the Service Corps.”

Mace sighs. “For someone who feels the Force so acutely, you have so little faith in it.” Ben winces. “Your patience leaves a lot to be desired. And you never really let go of anything.”

Ben is shaking. Of course. It doesn’t matter how well he does in his studies when the fundamentals of the ways of the Force is where he has always failed. He could never be a true Jedi. But it feels like the rawest betrayal when Mace says, “You can’t go into the Exploration Corps, Ben. Being left to drift through the galaxy unguided would be disastrous for you. You’d be very susceptible to the Dark Side if left alone.”

Ben’s eyes feel wet. He knows that too, though he’s never confessed to any of the masters about it. He was stupid to think he could hide it, though. The masters probably felt the Dark Side around him and rejected him outright. A bitter voice inside him resents them for dragging it out for so long. 

Then he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. “I’m not afraid of the Dark, Ben. And you shouldn’t be either.” In spite of Master Windu’s gentle tone, Ben can’t bare to look at him. “Self mastery is a life long pursuit that no one ever really accomplishes. You have to take it day by day, even I’m still learning. You have everything you need, you just have to remember that it is a choice you must make and commit to every day.”

Ben sniffs. “Yes, Master.” But when Ben looks up at Mace, he doesn’t see the cold face of a stern teacher or the disappointment of an unsatisfied elder. He doesn’t even see the sympathy that everyone has been directing towards him as he got closer and closer to his 13th birthday. Instead there is warmth and fondness.

“However,” he continues, “it’s not a path you need to travel alone. At least not at first… if you’ll have me as your master.”

Ben lunges at Mace and hugs him tight. “Do you really mean it?” 

Mace huffs a short laugh and ruffles the boy’s hair. “I’m too old to say things I don’t mean.” He pulls away. “But Ben, are you sure? I’m not the easier teacher.”

Finally able to hope again, Ben gives his master (his master!) a grin. “I’m not the easiest student!” 

Mace gives an actual laugh at that. “Good!” He pulls himself up. “Alright, lets go make it official. I know that grand-daddy of yours is dying to start gloating like the gossiping old hen he is.”