Hi, I'm Midnight and this blog will be about anime, mainly Naruto but some other anime's will appear as well. NaruSasuNaru is my OTP. Fanficton and other fandoms will be on this blog plus other things I like.
peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it
So on another reblog chain it was explained by @rosespirit, their explanation below
I keep seeing this post going around so, for folks who want to know why not, here’s a chemist’s hypothesis:
-Human saliva has an average pH of ~6.7 (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3800408/), which is pretty neutral.
-Monster energy has a pH of ~2.7 (https://patientconnect365.com/DentalHealthTopics/Article/Energy_Drinks_and_Your_Teeth_Should_You_Worry), which is quite acidic but not dangerous, except to your tooth enamel if consumed in large quantities.
-Rainbow sour belts contain malic acid (a common food additive as a potent acidifier and sour-flavor agent), citric acid (another common sour flavoring in pretty much everything) as well as ascorbic acid (aka vitamin C, used here mainly as a preservative). (https://candypros.com/products/sour-belts-bulk-rainbow)
-All of these acids when added to water would normally release their protons (H+ ions), thereby making the water solution more acidic. However, a chemical constant of these acids called the acid dissociation constant (pKa for short) indicates the pH of a solution at which acids are most likely to keep or release their protons. The pKa’s* of these acids are higher (3.4, 3.1, and 4.2 for malic, citric, and ascorbic acids respectively) than the pH of the solution (2.7), which essentially means that the acids can’t release their protons and all that acidic potential is trapped in the solid formulation of the candy.
-There’s also some evidence that sugar decreases the solubility of acids in water solutions (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3411471/ only sorbic acid is discussed here but it’s relatively structurally similar to the acids in discussion). The undoubtedly high sugar content of both the Monster and the candy therefore may contribute to the accounts of the sour crystals bubbling/floating on top of the solution instead of dissolving.
-Malic acid in particular is notorious for causing mouth irritation when eaten in high quantities.
-Thus, I can imagine that upon consuming the battery acid spaghetti, not only is the mix itself quite potently sweet/sour, but also the solid malic acid coming into direct contact with your mouth quickly becomes painful, and as the solution mixes with your (pH neutral) saliva the trapped acidity of the malic/citric/ascorbic acids is dumped into your mouth and esophagus, creating a sensation that I can only imagine is similar to consuming actual battery acid (pH = 0.8).
(*Each of these acids actually has multiple pKa’s corresponding to number of protons they’re able to donate, but really only the lowest pKa is useful here since once that one dissociates then all of the other ones are already dissociated too.)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary: When Naruto discovered who was going to be his soulmate, he jumped straight at this opportunity, looking forward to spending the rest of his life with his better half. Sasuke well...he was less eager in this regard though. NaruSasu tattoo soulmates.
Warning: angst, a lot of talking lol.
Chapter 10
--.--
Smooth, light feathery touches combed through his thin hair, listening to her soothing voice even though some hiccups made her song horribly dissonant. He opened his eyes, noticing how she hastily wiped out her tears with her fingers, beaming softly.
“Sorry Sasuke-kun, did I wake you up?”
He shook his head, whispering. “Did daddy say something mean to you again?”
“Oh.” Her mother rubbed the tattoo on her wrist that was glowing. “He feels guilty though.”
“So what?” He could see his older brother’s silhouette appearing on his door. “What good will it do to you if he’s guilty?”
“Itachi-kun…” Her voice turned sour and ominous.
“I’m serious, mother. Even if he feels guilty, he’s not changing. You can’t just forgive him because he regrets it.”
“That’s enough, it’s none of your business young man.” Mikoto stood up, pushing Itachi forward. “That’s something only adults have to take care of, you’re not meddling in here.”
“I can’t stand by, hearing how father belittles you! Mo⏤”
He only heard the sharp noise of his bedroom’s door sealing shut, echoing in his ears. There were still some voices being muffled from behind, as his eyes screwed shut, trying very hard to calm his own heartbeats, while he waited in vain for his sleepiness to arrive.
A small plant of doubt had always lodged in his heart, and now it was festering.
He kept wondering how much the tattoo on his hand exerted control of their emotions, how much would overwrite his decisions. He couldn’t forget the look that darkened on Naruto's face, angry and possessive, completely unlike his usual good-natured persona. Did it manifest due to his own complex character…? Or was this because of this soulmate system?
On that night, there were also two consistent emotions battling inside him, one that coaxed to accept whatever was thrown in his direction, to be more amenable. Another side was his rational mind that managed to control these impulses and succeeded in calming Naruto down. However, after a few days it still didn’t erase the bitter aftermath, old flashbacks of his childhood resurfacing whenever his mother was compliant to his father.
How much does this god awful scheme control their emotions? How much it’d skew their perceptions to show a seemingly harmonious relationship? Does that mean he'd need constant vigilance if necessary?
Sasuke admitted to himself that once he got into this round of questions roaming his head, it'd be hard getting out of this loop. He needed some assurance, a reminder that he's overthinking, anything to calm down the storm that was brewing in his head.
He needed…Naruto.
As much he didn't want to admit, his dumbass always managed to simmer down whatever anxiety he'd feel at the moment. Or at the very least, he'd distract him well enough.
Sasuke swore that he listened to his family’s guidance, to his friends, he wished he could get any less paranoid. However, whenever his tattoo manifested he simply couldn't tap down those fears. He also hoped that his strongest qualms wouldn't hinder his relationship with his boyfriend.
He sighed, rubbing his eyelids with his fingers. He just needed Naruto by his side, then everything will be alright.
⏤.⏤
Unfortunately, it appears that fate wasn't going to make his life any easier.
Sorry Sasuke, my aunt is driving me the fucking crazy. One of her competitors launched a campaign about something she’d done years ago and I need to build a strategy to debunk his claims.
Closing his eyes with an annoyed huff, Sasuke curbed the urge to curse outloud. He typed back.
I guess it can’t be helped. I can cancel the dinner reservation, I’ll just go to your apartment then.
Naruto answered. Hah. I forgot the last time I went to my apartment. She’s a slave driver Sasuke, I swear to God. I even bought a pillow and a blanket so I can sleep reasonably well on her couch.
Was it that bad whenever she ran for elections?
Probably. But back that time I could pull the ‘I’m just a kid’ card. Now I’m taking care of her social media team, can’t use this excuse anymore lol.
Sasuke shook his head, placing his smartphone on the table. He hadn’t seen his boyfriend for a week but it almost felt like eons. He saw a new notification on the screen and smiled bitterly.
7 days Sasukeeeeeeeee I need to see you. Fuck I think I’m going insane.
40 days usuratonkachi. Just endure for 40 more days and all of this will be over.
Or I could just run away!
Sasuke snorted. Right. As if you could survive from your aunt’s wrath.
You’re not helping, bastard.
We’ll manage to find any free time for ourselves in the meantime. 40 more days dumbass.
He could imagine the blond man groaning and grumbling. I hate this.
The dumbass then launched rolls and rolls of stickers with cartoon characters throwing tantrums and crying on the ground.
I hate this.
The palm of his tattooed hand throbbed, Sasuke clenched in reflex, thinning his lips. I hate this too. We’ll think of something, Naruto.
…kay.
Sensing that the conversation was over, Sauske almost turned off the smartphone, but noticed that Naruto was typing some long text.
This sucks. It’s been months since we restarted dating Sasuke, it’s the first time I haven’t seen you for so long. Work is getting so out of my control and I hate the fact that I can’t give you enough attention, when you’re so important to me. You’re very important to me Sasuke. I miss you every day, every hour, every second.
His fingers clutched on the edges very tightly, letting out a very heavy sigh, anxiety and anger melting away. These earnest straightforward words never failed to seize his heart in a mixture of bashfulness and gratitude, because even if he couldn’t express his feelings to Naruto, he was secretly glad that Naruto connected the gaps of communication between them.
His emotions rose, crashed and flowed; before he could notice his tattoo glowed, warmth expanding and invading on his chest. Great. He was already missing Naruto after reading his message, he didn’t want his tattoo hindering even further.
He stared on the screen for an indefinite time, his usual eloquence slipping out of his fingers. He cursed himself for being so emotionally stunted, so he managed to write:
You’re such a dumbass.
He could picture Naruto shaking his head, grin in place. Am I your dumbass?
Obviously. Every day, every hour and every second.
Good to know.
Out of nowhere, Naruto typed. Ah shit. My aunt is calling.
That was the last message he typed for three whole days. Sasuke later on saw on the news the exasperated look on Tsunade’s face when one of her main competitors accused her of embezzling money to use for her campaign, social media littered with videos and posts debating about it. Several bot accounts that were attacking her managed to be deactivated, though it was enough to sway some voters.
Sasuke’s wariness and admiration towards Naruto grew watching this whole new way of warfare. All he could see was this rapid fire of attacks and counterattacks, anything to grab the viewer’s attention while the information receiving on their hands ran faster and faster. How the fuck his boyfriend could control all this craziness is a sight to behold.
Opening and administrating a startup was not an easy feat, he could even say that it’s akin to trying to keep a boat afloat despite being covered with holes. He was thankful that Itachi had a keen sense of controlling the finances though and most of the problems they encountered were well within the parameters they predicted.
Naruto however felt like he was a boat being cornered from all sides, being forced to rapidly respond to whatever canon blast aimed his way, while trying to navigate through the chaos. No wonder Neji said that he was his best social media strategist.
While Sasuke was distracted watching a well-crafted video showing Tsunade’s competitor being tied to some shady companies, he didn’t notice a tall foreigner waiting for him in Itachi’s office.
“Sasuke!” This foreigner opened his arms, ready to give him a bear hug. Seeing the shadow looming over startled him, as he stepped aside, glaring towards his older brother.
Itachi looked mildly apologetic, patting the stranger’s shoulder. “You should know that we’re not comfortable with hugs Shisui-san.”
“Shisui?” Sasuke narrowed his eyes.
“Ah yes. Otouto-kun, meet my soulmate, Meyer Shisui-san.”
Sasuke grunted, offering his hand.
Shisui shook his hand, patting his arm. “Honestly, I thought you wouldn’t mind a hug, since we’re practically family.”
Itachi intervened, already sensing his younger brother's sharp barb before it’d roll out. “Nevertheless it’s uncomfortable for us.”
“Well…nice to finally meet you.” Sasuke mumbled. “I suppose you’re here to visit nii-san?”
“Yeah, part of the reason. But I want to take this opportunity to travel Japan! I already booked Kyoto, Nara, Hiroshima and Hokkaido.”
Both japanese men stared blankly. “How long is your vacation?”
“One whole month! All paid!”
Sasuke blanched. “How does your country not go bankrupt?!”
“Oh c’mon, it’s nothing. One month is the minimum for you to properly rest your mind and body right.”
Itachi looked horrified. “It must be very boring resting for over a week.”
“No way. You guys are way too workaholic, I guess all the rumors about exhausted Japanese workers are true. You need to relax.”
The Uchihas exchanged glances, before Itachi shook his head. “Anyways…Shisui-san is here to have lunch with us.”
“I guess I should help you pack your luggage for a one month trip huh.” Sasuke muttered.
Itachi rubbed his temples with an overdramatic sigh. “You have so little faith in me. As if I’d just throw all my responsibilities to the air the moment my soulmate stepped inside Japan.”
His younger brother gave him a disparaging look.
“Don’t worry Sasuke! I’m just spending some days here in Tokyo to explore, and I’m also planning to visit your parents. But I want to travel alone afterwards.” Shisui reassured.
…That's unusual. Sasuke felt that Shisui would want his older brother's close the entire trip, considering that the whole reason he traveled to Japan was for his soulmate's sake.
Shisui appeared being able to read him pretty well, as he answered the silent question. “I'm going to spend the rest of my life with Itachi, Sasuke. I'm in no hurry having to tie him next to me as much as possible.”
“Appreciate it then. I thought that you were here trying to convince him to move out with you.”
Shisui admitted with a guilty smile, shaking his head. “Yes, that was my mistake back then, I got too hasty so I’m actually here to make amends. I want to meet your whole family, because I can see how important you all are to Itachi.” Shisui slugged an arm around the youngest Uchiha. “Hey, maybe you could travel with me, we’re going to have so much fun!”
Sasuke glanced towards Itachi. The latter gingerly extracted his boyfriend’s arm around the tensed shoulders and muttered.
“Shisui-san, don’t bully my younger brother please.” And at the same breath, Itachi added. “Only I can bully him after all.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
⏤.⏤
Although initially reluctant, Sasuke was enjoying spending some of his time exploring Tokyo with Shisui and Itachi, coming to the realization of his even-tempered personality. He easily charmed their mother too, and though his father had some qualms, he welcomed Shisui to the fold.
It was…an interesting experience witnessing this all. His parents’ marriage wasn’t a good parameter regarding the soulmate system from the start, and no one close to him were in a long-term relationship so he could draw more comparisons.
There were, obviously, cultural differences. Shisui wad overall much more used to have a direct approach, he was more honest with his feelings and objectives, which was a perfect match with Itachi who is used to dance around to respect protocol.
Maybe it was the fact that they were both much older men than him and Naruto, but they approached their relationship in a focused maturity. They already had their careers and goals established, what might be their biggest hurdle was how to balance it out.
Another significant difference was the timeline. Shisui had only known Itachi for several months, so they were still in the courting phase. Sasuke had Naruto for more than half of his life, even before they realized they were soulmates, so they were significantly more entangled in comparison. He honestly couldn't remember a time when Naruto didn't appear every day, save from college of course.
This fact further unsettled him, as his parents also used to share a similar level of closeness, before all hell broke loose and his mother made the sensible decision of divorcing her spouse.
But was he going through the same path like his parents? Was this tattoo going to influence their relationship to cloak whatever incongruence they have in between?
He couldn't help but feel a tinge of admiration as Shisui just very easily left Itachi for his leisurely trip, his older brother returning to focus on his work. He could see Itachi pausing every once in a while lost in his thoughts, or noticed the small smile that brightened his eyes, no doubt seeing something related to his boyfriend.
Ah…so this is how a healthy relationship should work.
Would he ever reach this level of understanding? It was hard to admit the emotional dependency he had for Naruto, it was insanely frustrating not seeing his boyfriend for over some days. Whatever plan they would have for the day would be shot down because Naruto had to fix an emergency.
He also saw on the news, Naruto sometimes followed his aunt in her campaigns, appearing slightly uncomfortable throughout the time. Standing tall, his handsome profile was strengthened by the sharp edges of his expensive suit, the difference in height made him look protective towards his only mother figure, which, Sasuke considered, probably made her more charming to grab more votes. His suspicions were proven correct from the fact that some doe-eyed women approached the blond man, wanting to shake his hand and snap a selfie with him, some even tried to strike a conversation.
He turned off the TV, cursing for spending one more night in the lonesome darkness. It was getting harder and harder falling asleep, plagued with dreams of golden streaks of hair brushing his face, hot breaths tingling on his neck and sturdy fingers holding his body.
⏤.⏤
After 20 excruciating days, Sasuke supposed it was time to let go some of his pride. Neji gave him Tsunade's office address at once, arriving at the appointed place after work hours. He stared at the mahogany door apprehensive, opening and hearing the loud chattering, with only one woman sitting on the reception desk. She noticed him at once, asking the usual procedures:
“Welcome to Uzumaki Tsunade’s headquarters, how may I help you?”
Sasuke cleared his throat. “I'm here to see Uzumaki Naruto.”
“Sure, do you have an appointment with him?”
“No, but can you tell him I'm Uchiha Sasuke? If it won't trouble you.”
She blinked recognizing his name. Humming, she picked her telephone, but they heard loud noises approaching and Naruto arrived breathless, eyes wide.
“Sasuke??! You're here!”
His first knee-jerk reaction would be to come up with any kind of excuse to minimize how much he was missing his boyfriend. He was past these mind games, thankfully, his voice a timid murmur. “It's been a while.”
He was gifted with an enraptured and amorous smile on Naruto's lips, filled with unbridled affection. His blue eyes acquired a warm hue, gazing as if Sasuke was the only one in his world, his own heartbeats racing while his cheeks were getting hotter in response.
Standing up from her seat and moving to another room, the receptionist appeared wanting to give them some privacy, but one young man showed up to disrupt their moment.
“Oh, Uzumaki-sama! Good thing I found you. Can you give us the last check about the posts we're launching tonight?”
Naruto broke out of his stupor, reluctant to stray his eyes out of Sasuke's vision. “Ah…”
“Uzumaki-sama?” The intern insisted.
He maintained gazing at his boyfriend, almost as if he was scared that the brunet would disappear out of thin air. “Sorry, can you give us a minute?”
“Oh, but it won't take long⏤”
“Please give us a minute.” Naruto's eyes zeroed on the young man, the sudden seriousness made the latter swallow dryly.
Naruto didn't wait for an answer as he clasped Sasuke's hand, broad footsteps directing to the emergency stairs.
When the heavy door rumbled behind them, Naruto gave in the urge to groan loudly, tanned arms enveloping around Sasuke's.
“Ah God!! When is this going to end??” He tightened the hug, whispering. “I missed you so much.”
Sasuke heaved a long breath. His arms raised unbeknownst to himself, fingers wrinkling the orange shirt as he inhaled close to Naruto's neck, taking in his lover's unique scent and the warm texture of his skin. He shut his eyes in rushed expectancy, heart pulsating high, their lips connecting with his lover pushing so eagerly that even made him wobble a few steps backwards. With a heady moan, Naruto licked his mouth and tilted his head to match better, tongue already probing in.
Sasuke’s hands clutched desperately on his lover’s waist, trying to bring him impossibly closer as he opened his mouth, groaning low on his throat when he tasted the familiar flavor. He lost count how many times they had kissed in their entire lives, how much he knew each bump and seam; the softness of Naruto’s lips, inside of his mouth. And yet it never felt it was enough. They haven’t seen each other for a few days but just this simplest contact was enough to tilt his normal axis, teetering his gravity and making him light-headed.
His soul called for Naruto, arms were now wrapping on his lover's back, goosebumps rising when every inch of his skin lit on fire from the closest contact. They let their mouths move in frenzy with each glide and bump, a low moan escaping through when some teeth lightly scraped on his lower lip.
Naruto was breathing heavily with his hands cupping the pale face, dazed blue eyes slowly opened half-lidded. His thumb stroked the alabaster skin, moving to brush his dark hair and taking in his boyfriend’s presence. Sasuke let his mouth glaze over the trembled breath, tongue tracing on the lower lip and seeking another melting kiss, letting their passion guide them and take them out of control. His head was delirious and buoyant, dizzy from all these addicting caresses. It was almost like Naruto’s sole presence could burst in a myriad of colors on his previous sepia day. How did Naruto manage to have so much power over him?
A buzzing on Naruto’s backpocket startled them. Blond eyebrows knitted in fury, grabbing his smartphone, ready to smash it to the ground though Sasuke was quicker and picked it up before the impending disaster. For few more minutes they managed to ignore the insistent noise, moans and gasps interlocking with smack of lips until Sasuke’s smartphone intruded in.
He closed his eyes, unlocking his gadget and listened. He soon offered it to Naruto. “It’s your aunt.”
Naruto picked with a snarl. “What.” He probably heard some snarky answer and grumbled. “Yeah yeah yeah, I’m gonna answer how ever I want and there’s nothing you can do about that old hag.” He then said, mildly alarmed. “What.”
He stepped backwards, increasing the gap between his boyfriend. Sasuke shivered, already missing the warm body.
“Why do I have to go with you tonight too?? I thought we agreed that I’d only go to extremely necessary events.” Naruto paused and then grunted. “Obviously I don’t wanna go.” He snorted. “Wow, you’re sounding just like some pimp selling their best call girls. Yes, you do! Just ‘cuz I’m popular with young women doesn’t mean you need to parade me aro⏤” Naruto rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, you really do! Stop denying it man! Next thing you’re going to do is let them grope me for a vote. Noooo! I’m not telling you where I am, you’re going to kill me now I’m sure! Nope! Hah! Too bad for you and good luck finding me old haaaaaaaaaaaaaag⏤” And just like that, he ended the call with a very childish sound of his tongue blowing a raspberry.
He rested his head on the wall nearby, groaning loudly. Sasuke sighed in commiseration, sitting on the stairs.
“Tough days huh.”
Naruto huffed back. Blinking wide, he sat on his boyfriend’s lap and declared. “We could elope.”
Sasuke shook his head, smirking.
“I’m serious! We could…like, just go.” Naruto envisioned, the tone of his voice airy. “Any place, far far away from anyone. Just you and me, in some remote village. We’d adopt a few cats and dogs…I always wanted to adopt a fox by the way. We could do some remote work…I’d plant a whole farm for us…it’d be perfect.”
“It does sound quite an attractive idea.” Sasuke admitted with a small quirk on his lips.
“Right???” The blond man exclaimed with his fingers interlaced behind his pale nape, dropping some quick wet pecks on his lips, a pleasured grunt vibrated low on his throat when they exchanged another long kiss. He breathed out forlorn. “Only you and me…I don't need anyone else.”
His heart clenched painfully at the full knowledge that Naruto was definitely lying to himself, even if the anguish coming from his boyfriend invaded his body through the tattoo. He realized that as he kept getting emotionally closer to his soulmate, these occurrences kept happening with increased frequency and intensity. Probably seen as a useful tool to tune in his soulmate's mood and adapt accordingly.
…What a terrifying ability.
“I like this idea Naruto…” Sasuke murmured, combing lovingly the golden fringes. “But I doubt you'd be really happy leaving your aunt by herself at such an important moment in her career.”
The blond man wrinkled his nose, displeased that his boyfriend pointed out the obvious. “Next year we're moving out then.” He insisted.
Sasuke smiled, dropping another short kiss. “Next year then.”
Naruto continued to sulk, picking his smartphone back from his fingers as they walked back to the office. “I'm kidnapping you in any case that I get crazy from not seeing you for so long.”
“Usuratonkachi. 20 more days okay.” Sasuke comforted him, hand squeezing in reassurance.
He had to admit to himself though, whether he won't also lose his own sanity in these long ominous days.
⏤.⏤
As the election race was getting closer, communicating with Naruto was getting harder.
The blond man used to answer his messages immediately, a long engaging conversation ensued till it was properly over. After few days, he still replied as fast as he could, but the texts were getting shorter. Then, it devolved into only sending him some outlandish stickers in response, and now there were long gaps of silence where he didn't even see his messages, no doubt busy, swarmed with his responsibilities.
It was hard suppressing his anxiety creeping in, staring, checking and re-checking if Naruto would send any kind of message. He’d attempt focusing on his work, with his smartphone nearby, the moment it’d chime he would unlock to check the notification, frustrated that it was nothing related to his boyfriend. Sometimes Naruto would answer with an apology and even attempted to hold a conversation, and then radio silence.
Without Naruto to balance his emotions, everyone could notice his bad mood escalating every day. His work colleagues avoided him like a plague, even passerbies couldn’t dare step closer to him. The only ones that were immune to his piercing glares were his older brother and his mother, in which Itachi only rolled his eyes and left him alone, while Mikoto tried to distract him by cooking his favorite food.
Time had continued moved on mercilessly, another day without his dumbass close, only receiving short answers and stupid nonsensical stickers. Sasuke understood, logically, that since there were only 7 days left for the elections, the stakes were high. That it was a temporary annoyance due to Naruto’s job and once Tsunade got elected, everything would be over. He knew he needed one ounce of patience.
But all he could feel was his resolve crumbling, whatever rationality leaving his head and only a dark pit of despair weighing heavily. It’s strange…the first time he left Naruto in college even though he was still wistful, he could manage somewhat, leaving his schedule full with objectives and studies. In the present situation though, nothing could catch enough of his attention anymore, when his thoughts focused only on Naruto. This was definitely not a normal behavior.
How is it possible to miss someone this much? Feeling almost like he had ripped his heart in half? He missed everything about Naruto; his energetic and easygoing personality, his fierce determination, the stupid bluest eyes that he couldn’t get tired of gazing at him. He missed the physical closeness, the caresses and touches that translated how much Naruto held affection towards him. He yearned for his soulmate so much that he couldn’t sleep a wink, restlessness and anguish amounting every second, till it was overwhelming. His tattoo throbbed painfully as he groaned covering his eyes with his hands, the screen glowing in the middle of the night.
I miss you too.
Sasuke exhaled a long sigh, fixing his eyes on the calendar. 4 days were left.
⏤.⏤
It was almost time for lunch and Suigetsu wisely went by himself instead of inviting his brooding friend to tag along. Sasuke was insufferable right now glaring everywhere, that only Karin with her weird fetishes would think it was hot. While he was considering which restaurant he should go for the day, he noticed bright blond hair from afar, so naturally, he approached in greeting.
“Hey Uzumaki. Good afternoon. Fancy seeing you.”
Naruto brightened up. “Oh hey! Hoozuki-san right? ‘Sup?”
Suigetsu shrugged. “Didn’t expect you here. Are you waiting for Sasuke?”
“Yeah, I fled from my aunt, like literally. Finally managed to squeeze some free time, so I thought we could have some lunch together.” Naruto missed that bastard like crazy, it was almost as if he was stranded on the Saara desert, thirsty without any drop of fucking water. Fuck, they should have escaped from his aunt back when there was some chance. Tsunade was hounding him like a hawk.
Suigetsu grunted, at long last the streak of Sasuke’s bad mood would be over. Though honestly, of all the people he had met, he’d never had guessed that his friend would be the one who is most attached to his soulmate. Not that it was anywhere difficult to understand why; seeing how Naruto’s personality fit Sasuke’s like a glove. Now considering…maybe he should address some things too. “Oh, by the way…I heard about Sasuke’s past flings bothering you and your aunt’s campaign. Did everything turn alright?”
The blond man sighed. “Yeah, only one asshole tried to manipulate us but that’s all. Don’t worry about it.”
“That’s great then.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry about that, if I knew that Sasuke already knew his soulmate before, I wouldn’t introduce him to some guys.”
Naruto pushed down the ugly emotion that wanted to spread through his veins like acid, inhaling sharply. He shrugged one shoulder. “Eh, don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault, it’s definitely Sasuke’s.”
“Yeah, and I didn’t do much exactly. Whenever we were at parties, I just pointed to any guy that was interested in him and he’d wobble in the general direction, wafting whatever Uchiha pheromone he had to seduce the poor lad.”
Naruto snorted. “That sounds about right. If there’s something that bastard is absolutely good at is being irresistible to anyone without even trying. Especially when he’s not trying.”
“Wait…” Suigetsu furrowed his eyebrows bewildered. “How long have you known Sasuke?”
“Oh, he didn’t tell you? We’re childhood friends. I’ve known him since we’re…five, or six? Something like that.”
“Huh.” That explained how Naruto knew his friend so well. Suigetsu’s fascination over the blond man increased; maybe he’d know some dirty secrets Sasuke would have so Suigetsu could gossip to Karin and Juugo.
⏤.⏤
Itachi had practically shoved him outside the building, claiming that his younger brother needed to take his mind off for a minute, also, his negative vibes were ruining the place. Scowling, he took the elevator, determined to go to the closest restaurant available and be done with it.
The moment the elevator opened, he quickly spotted Naruto’s signature golden hair. Heartbeats racing, all his bad mood fizzled out instantly as he quickened his steps. His boyfriend was busy chatting with someone that had his back facing him, half hidden behind the building’s column. Naruto laughed in response to something the other man had said, whatever giddiness that Sasuke was feeling washed away to jealousy. They haven’t seen each other for over a month, who is this man? The palm of his left hand pulsated in synch with angry stabs on his lungs, now identifying Suigetsu as he approached. How dare he…his body shifted in a flash, his hand wretched his friend away from Naruto.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
The second his snarl came so uncharacteristic out of his mouth, he witnessed the confusion and surprise coming from Suigetsu, coupled with Naruto’s own bewilderment. Their honest reactions was a splash of cold water on his face, the sudden realization of his own dark emotions resurfacing and spanning out of control.
Sasuke managed to mumble an apology, eyes frantically searching for a way out. He sprinted to the bathroom. “Whoa, hey! Sasuke? Uh⏤Hoozuki-san, I’ll see you later then! Sasuke!” Naruto followed behind. “What the hell, what gives?”
“... I shouldn't have overreacted.” He muttered, his boyfriend picked up the guilt lacing on his tone.
“Yeah…well, I mean. We're pretty crazy with the whole possessiveness thing huh.” When the shadows lingered from the graphite eyes, Naruto approached him, squeezing his hand. “I’m yours, remember?”
Sasuke looked unresponsive, his shoulders tense and fists curled. He glared to the ground, inhaling and exhaling in long breaths. Once he managed to refocus on his boyfriend, he muttered. “Anyways…it's almost time for lunch right. I know a good restaurant close by.”
“Sure, but…”
Sasuke felt the tanned hand moving upwards to hold his arm. He wretched away snarling. “For once in my life this goddamn tattoo could stop sending whatever I'm feeling onto you!”
Naruto looked flabbergasted before sputtering. “Whoa no, calm down! I didn't use it to feel you, I swear to God. It doesn't take a genius not to see you're still in distress bastard.”
They took several minutes to assess one to another, Sasuke clenching his jaw so tight it’d hurt, attempting in ignoring the worried blue eyes staring straight at him.
Naruto sighed.
Though sudden, Sasuke was expecting the warm arms enveloping him into a comforting hug. A newer feeling of guilt rose ashore, how his silence prompted Naruto to calm him down.
His soulmate patted his back in soothing movements, waiting till Sasuke would relax his body and return his embrace. “Don’t worry too much ok. Everything will be alright.”
⏤.⏤
Nothing will be alright.
Sasuke got this conclusion after what happened this afternoon. He got the worst traits of his parents’ relationship: all the possessiveness, manipulation, emotional blackmail.
His longing, the pain of being apart from him made them too codependent, to the point they wouldn't see all the glaring red flags that they should work it through instead of ignoring it. He could see Naruto slowly conceding whatever thrown his way, exactly like his mother used to do, just because he could feel Sasuke's distress through the glowing tattoos. He could even isolate Naruto from his family and friends on a whim, just to maintain this frightening craving.
This mere idea scared the fuck out of him. That they'd roll down to the darkest pit slowly, that he'd chip away Naruto's personality, their relationship degrading day by day till the inevitable break up.
Because in no normal circumstances Naruto would ever choose him. He's too broken and had way too many emotional scars to properly have a romantic relationship with him. He'd repeat his parents bad habits and mistakes with the soulmate system covering it all. He have to stop this negative cycle, before it was too late.
Sasuke considered if this was a regular situation, he'd be able to work his issues with his boyfriend. However, as long as there's interference coming from it, he doubted he’d really improve himself, and his brain would constantly raise seeds of doubt whenever he'd interact with Naruto.
He might need…a more radical approach.
⏤.⏤
While his head was occupied mulling the words he should use to lower all the possible negative repercussions, or which day was best to approach his boyfriend, Sasuke heard a knock on his door.
An ominous intuition twisted inside his stomach, as he opened his door already expecting Naruto waiting for him in the corridor.
“I thought…you're busy.”
The blond man quirked an awkward smile, scratching the back of his head.
Sasuke huffed. Great. Now he also had to bank in the fact that he was making Naruto run from his responsibilities. “So should I expect your aunt storming in soon, with bodyguards and ninjas ready?”
“Oh c'mon, she can survive without me for a few minutes.” Naruto snorted. “Shizune-neechan can help her out in any case.”
Licking his lips, his mind ran miles per minute, considering the present circumstances. “So…why are you here?”
“Um…”
He didn't need to second guess the reason, not when his left palm throbbed in the close proximity of his soulmate.
“I'm sorry, I know you're upset how invasive this ability can be, but this time I couldn't ignore it Sasuke.” His boyfriend looked plenty regretful that it was hard to hold any kind of anger towards his dumbass.
Sasuke settled with a heavy sigh, his hand tightening on the door knob. “It's nothing. We can talk about it after the elections.”
“You don't have to lie to me. Seriously, what's going on?”
“Nothing.” Sasuke insisted, planting his feet to the ground. “It's not something worth talking about right now.”
“Sasuke, I'm already here for a very good reason, I don't need you beating around the bush.” Naruto grumbled, making an impatient noise with his teeth.
With only one step inched forward, his soulmate's body radiated so close to him that it destabilized all the walls he built up at once. He conceded letting the blond man go to the living room, before his resolve would crumble completely.
He swallowed dryly, his brain running miles per second as a heavy foreboding lodged on his stomach. He kept considering and reconsidering words and phrases, whatever that might ease the sentence he'd bring to his boyfriend. He opened his parched mouth, mumbling. “Naruto. I…I'm considering that m-maybe.” His heartbeats drummed on his knotted throat, so he forced his breathing to slow down. “Maybe we⏤I need to take some break.”
Cerulean eyes were understandably confused and shocked. “Sasuke, what the fuck.”
He grumbled. “Let's talk afterwards in a more appropriate time, it's better.”
“No the fuck, it's not better. You're answering me right fucking now you asshole.” Naruto growled. “What the hell, why are you doing this? Is it ‘cuz I was busy this month? You know it's temporary right?”
Naruto's smartphone decided to buzz for attention, so with a groan, the blond man turned it off, throwing it on the sofa. He crossed his arms, narrowed eyes zeroed on Sasuke.
“It's not directly caused by this, it just helped to show the glaring flaws we have to each other.”
Naruto absorbed his speech, responding. “Alright, name it for me. We can work it out together, can't we?”
“We can't, not while we're soulmates Naruto.”
“...wh⏤”
“Will it make you slightly happier if I tell you the problem is me, not you?” Sasuke hissed through gritted teeth.
His soulmate actually stared in mild incredulity before snorting. “Isn't that the worst cliche excuse anyone would use when they want to break up with someone?”
“But it's the truth.” He replied in earnest. “And I’m not saying that we should break up, I just⏤I just needed some time. Alone. To reorganize myself, that’s all⏤”
Naruto snapped. “You don’t get to do this again, Sasuke. You're not disappearing out of my life without any proper explanation to me.”
A heavy silence fell in the living room, only a ticking clock signalizing the passage of time as they were at a standstill, Sasuke glaring back with steadfast eyes, even if he was getting increasingly nervous inside. It really wouldn’t hurt if this dumbass could be a tiny bit less stubborn, he swore to God. “The things that I have to fix is out of your depth Naruto. I’m sparing you the pain, that’s all.”
“This is bullshit!” Naruto snarled, throwing his arms to the air. “You’re just giving me an excuse to shut me out again!”
“No, I swear that I’m not!”
“Surely it looks like that to me! It looks exactly like that last time back in college!”
Sasuke groaned, crossing his arms. Naruto had to make the obvious parallel, there’s no winning in this whole debate. He pressed on. “It may look similar, I have good reasons for this decision, just like I had last time.”
“Sasuke, I just⏤” He messed his blond hair. “I'm just tired of you shutting me out. Why can't you just trust me a little, share about your pain and problems? I have to fill all the gaps you left behind.”
The issue was that he did trust Naruto with his life. But he couldn’t trust himself and he definitely didn’t trust the soulmate system and how much it’d skew their feelings. These reasons did nothing to diminish the remorse eating him inside though. “I know it sounds bad Naruto, but I think⏤”
Naruto rolled his eyes, tone dripping with sarcasm. “Oh! You think? Surely it’s not something you always decide whenever you blow things out of proportion.”
Sasuke glowered, despising how his soulmate poked right on his weakest points. “You know that I had good reasons to do what I’ve done back in college.”
“Yeah, I did get it. I understood that we needed to grow up as individuals before getting together and starting an everlasting relationship. That’s why I left you alone for seven fucking years! But now we’re fucking adults Sasuke, we grew up, there’s no fucking excuse! How many hoops do I have to jump through, what the fuck do I have to do for you finally see that this relationship work??”
“THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK! I DON’T!”
His sudden outburst of emotion thundered in his house, shocking Naruto enough to halt his previous agitation. Breathing heavily, Sasuke continued his confession now the dam had ruptured.
“Why did you choose me if not for this goddamn system? I’m unstable, I’m a ticking time bomb. There’s no way anyone with a sane conscience would choose me to have a relationship.”
Cerulean eyes blinked out of his stupor, Naruto attempted to hold his ground. “Where did you get this idea, Sasuke? We were going so fine! We just had a few hiccups here and there but we can work this out!”
“No, I⏤I’m getting uncontrollable. I just saw you talking with Suigetsu, I already made some stupid hissy fit! I was getting ready to punch him just because I saw him flirting with you! My friend! Someone I should trust, and I wanted to punch his guts out.” He revealed his fears, staring at his trembled hands.
“It only happened once! And didn’t I do something similar before Sasuke?”
“It’s different, yours is more substantial. I overreacted. And it’s not only this instance Naruto. This whole month I could barely function, just thinking of you. The tattoos kept feeding this emotion, till I couldn’t make any rational decision. This might just be the beginning too, if we continue through this path, what else will I do whenever I see you doing something I dislike?”
His boyfriend listened intently, shaking his head and holding his arms in a tight grip. “I understand your concerns, but isn’t the reason why we should face it together then?”
“No, not while we’re soulmates. I don’t know how much it’ll manipulate us, how it’ll force us for shallow solutions instead of working things out. I don’t know if you’ll really forgive me for whatever wrong thing I’ll do, it’ll be solely because you’ll feel my regret instead of us searching for a common solution.”
“It’s because you keep seeing this system as something only negative, but⏤”
Sasuke interrupted. “This feeling is not natural and it’s also not healthy Naruto. That’s why I need to do this alone, before I hurt you even further. If I’m able to fortify myself against it⏤” (if I can avoid doing the same mistakes my parents did) “⏤it’s for the best. It is for the best. This system overwhelm us Naruto, control our lives.”
He paced around the room, his body out of Naruto’s reach. His thoughts kept spiralling out of control, dusty memories resurfacing and stinging his forgotten scars. All the screaming, his mother’s lowered head, his older brother’s protective arms⏤nothing but a product from a flawed structure that broke his family. Too busy with his own musings, Sasuke recollected another lost shard of their past. “Your mother suffered something similar right. How much this system can be destructive. Her feelings that she had for your father were so strong that she lost her will to live once she knew that her soulmate die⏤”
“SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW!”
Sasuke snapped his mouth shut, eyes widened in horror when he understood that he fell on a landmine, Naruto’s face changed from apprehension to boiling rage in a matter of seconds.
“My mom died from cancer ok! You don’t disrespect her like that! I never disrespected your parents okay, so I can’t believe you’ll manipulate the reason of her death just to justify your point of view!”
Gulping, Sasuke pleaded, his voice weak and subdued. “I’m sorry, but⏤!”
“I’m not hearing anything coming from you anymore you fucking asshole.” Naruto growled, his eyebrows still knitted in fury. “So that’s how you do this huh. You use how much you know me, how much you know my life to just stab on my weak points, just to get what you wanted. Fine! We’re done, we’re through.” He turned around with large steps, grabbing his smartphone, running towards the door but was halted with Sasuke’s hand tightened around his arm.
“Naruto, I really don’t want us going that far, I just need some time⏤”
He wretched his arm away from his grasp, shouting. “You don’t get to decide how you want Sasuke. I’m really tired of your bullshit excuses, we’re really done!”
“But once I fix this problem with the soulmate system we can⏤”
Naruto exploded. “No. No! You don't get to blame this over the system. It's all on you, Sasuke, you're the one who knows me inside out, you're the one who said those fucking words. So I hope you’re happy with the results.”
He slammed the door shut, the heavy echo rumbling Sasuke’s heart as many emotions scrambled till only one emerged in a sharp pain: despair.
⏤.⏤
AN: writing this chapter reminded me when Sasuke was still torn about getting stronger, seeing Naruto’s rasengan for the first time. The moment Orochimaru’s lackeys talked about defecting to Konoha to get more power he didn’t hesitate too much huh. Reminded me that even though Naruto kept hammering about how dangerous it was, Sasuke was stubborn as fuck and didn’t listen to him at all lol.
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