"Love's Blossom"| Enzo Vogrincic
Chapter 3: āHopeās Flickerā
Luciaās Notes: First off, I wanna say thank you for holding on and waiting for me, this whole moving thing has been way harder than I expected, and trying to balance work and this new life and city hasnāt been easy. But Alass! I have been able to get back into writing!Ā
CONTENT WARNINGS: This one has major warnings for miscarriages; fighting/arguing and general tension (Iām sorry but angst is what I do best LOL). Grief and mourning. I promise it will get better, probably next chapter!Ā
Word Count: 2.7K
Song for this chapter: "I will carry you"- Selah
As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, both Enzo and Y/N could feel the tension growing tougher and tougher between them. They were on the fifth cycle of trying to get pregnant and each month, the single blue line would dig a deeper well between them, the sex started to feel like a duty they had to fulfill, a routine, they were certainly not enjoying it anymore. When they looked at yet another negative test one afternoon and Y/N excited the bathroom without uttering a single word, it all started to go downhill. They were both anxious, irritated, and, overall sad that it had been almost six months since they had started trying to have a baby with no success. Y/N had even started wondering if maybe there was something wrong with her.Ā
Arguments over the smallest things were not strange now when they had never had a serious fight before in all their years together. One evening, as he had been trying to do all the same to try and get his girlfriend out more Enzo walked into their bedroom and smiled āHey love, I was thinking maybe we could go to the movies and then for some dinner? the Thai restaurant you love has added some new dishes to their menu and I thought we could try them?ā Y/N glared at him from her curled-up position in bed putting her phone down for just a second.
āitās almost 9 pm Enzo, really you wanna go out now? you know I need to sleep well if we want to try and get any chances of having a baby, and Thai food? itās spicy, same thing! are you really on board with this? or are you trying to sabotage it? Just let me know so I can stop fucking worrying about it!ā The brunette snapped at the older guy who stood at the doorway looking at her blinking. āYou truly have gone mad woman, I was just trying to get you out of that fucking bed and showered, you smell, you havenāt gotten up in three days and Iām fucking worried, but have it your way! Iām sleeping in the guest room tonight! Iām tired of being your damn punching ball! Do you think this doesnāt affect me? I want to have a baby just as much as you do, and it hurts me seeing you this sad, so if you wanna blame someone, blame God, the Universe, or whatever you want, but not me!āĀ
The raven-haired guy turned around and walked to the guest room taking a deep breath, he wondered if he had maybe taken it a bit too far, but the truth was he was tired of being at the receiving end of his girlfriendās anger. As much as he could understand how she must be feeling and how draining this whole process had been for her, he knew he didnāt deserve this, heād been as supportive as possible, and he had put his sadness to the side to hold her in her worst moments. Enzo was tired, if this didnāt work soon, he wouldnāt put it past them to either look at other options or end up separating.
The days went by slowly, and Y/N looked at her calendar once more frowning before looking at her boyfriend, things hadnāt been the best since that argument, but they both tried putting on a brave face āI should have gotten my period a week agoā¦should I?ā she bit her lip hard, the truth was she knew she should test, but she couldnāt take another negative. Enzo looked up from his book and looked at her āA week? I think itās worth it, Iāll look at it for you if you want me to.ā He kissed her head before getting up and offering her a hand. Y/N took a deep breath before taking his hand. Just that morning they had been talking about the possibility of visiting a fertility doctor, maybe there was something wrong with them and they needed some help to get pregnant.
The younger went by the steps mechanically, she had done this way too many times these past few months. After taking the test she put it back down on the bathroom sink counter and covered it up before walking out of the bathroom and looking at her boyfriend with pleading eyes. āI canāt lookā He nodded and kissed her forehead long āIāve got you babyā he whispered and walked into the room closing the door behind his back. He took a deep breath, it wasnāt like it was easy for him, but he would take all the pain in the world if it meant easing the weight off the love of his lifeās shoulders at least a little bit. The Uruguayan stared at the test as it processed, he knew they took three minutes, but heād go insane if he did anything else. He blinked repeatedly when he saw the result start to show on the little screen, was he hallucinating? maybe he was, but he saw the two lines clear as day. Enzo grabbed the test and swung the bathroom door open to find a crunched-down Y/N on the other end of the hallway chewing at her lips. She looked up when she heard the door and sighed seeing the tears in her boyfriendās eyes and thinking that yet again it was negative and letting herself slide down the wall āMaybe we should just stop trying and go see an adoption agency or somethingā she mumbled.
Enzo smiled big at her āOh, stop trying we will..but because Iām scared Iāll hurt my baby if I poke into you with my dickā¦itās positive my love!ā he chuckled letting the tears roam freely down his face, Y/Nās face shot up when she heard him saying those words. āYouāre not joking, are you? please tell me itās not another one of your jokes because Iāll kill you if it isā The girl took the hand being offered to her to get up from the floor and looked at the stick Enzo showed her, her breath catching in the back of her throat, eyes wide open with shock and surprise as she kept her eyes glued to the two blue lines on the screen āIām pregnantā she whispered āthis is actually happeningā, her hands flying to her stomach instinctively as protection.
After the initial shock had worn off and they cuddled on the couch, Y/N laying in Enzoās arms as his hands rubbed her lower tummy gently she whispered, āI donāt think I wanna tell anyone yet, I want to go see my doctor, make sure everything is okay and once weāre out of the first trimester, let people in on our little secret, I want this to be our momentā. Enzo hummed softly keeping his eyes closed as they were, the same smile he had when he found out still plastered on his face, āAlright my love, whatever makes you feel more secure and at ease, Iām here to support your every decision, you know thatā.
After what felt like an eternity, they were finally called in by the doctor. Y/N explained the whole situation when she found out, when her last period had been, and how the journey had been going the whole show. As her doctor nodded taking notes on her laptop Enzo sat beside the brunette his hand never leaving her knee as his leg bounced anxiously. āOkay, so by the dates you gave me, Iām assuming you might be around 6 weeks along, but I wanna get an ultrasound to be sure and to hear the babyās heartbeat as well, make sure everythingās going as it should and give you both the first glance at your little pea because thatās around the size this little one will be right nowā. She guided them both over to the stretcher and handed Y/N a gown as she turned the machine on āIām going to go grab some more paper towels while you get changed into the robe okay?ā she said exiting the room. Y/N nodded and when she was gone proceeded to take her clothes off from the waist down and put on the gown before laying down on the bed āWait a second, why are you butt naked?ā Enzo frowned confused, his brow deepening at his girlfriendās laughter āfrom what Iāve read, baby is still too small to be seen with a normal outdoor ultrasound, so the doctor will have to use this little thing here and insert it in my lady bits to be able to get a look at our little oneā she pointed to the internal prove. As she looked at the tan-skinned manās face her laughter got louder seeing his horrified face.
Shortly after, the doctor returned and started the ultrasound checking everything was as it should. āOkay, images seem to confirm what I thought, youāre around six weeks along, embryo looks healthy, letās try and hear the heartbeat okay?ā she turned on the sound on the machine, and sure enough, a rapid thud came flowing out of the machine. Enzo, who hadnāt let go of Y/Nās hand for one second since the ultrasound started, kissed the back of her hand before quickly wiping his tears, that was his babyās heartbeat, a real baby, half him, half the love of his life, he couldnāt be happier.Ā Ā
As the days went by, Y/N was surely feeling the symptoms of this pregnancy, her boobs were killing her, she felt tired all the time, she was starving and nauseated all at the same time so everything she ate made her feel sick. Most of her days were spent laying on the couch watching TV or in bed curled with a good book. Enzo preferred it that way, not like he enjoyed seeing her feel bad, but her being lying down gave him a sense of peace about her and the baby being okay which he enjoyed.
Things were going smoothly, even their relationship had gotten stronger, they were both ecstatic and over the moon about this little one on the way. They knew it was still early to consider being out of the blue, but they couldnāt help but start fantasizing about what the baby would look like, if they would have Enzoās brown eyes, or Y/Nās hazel ones, who their features would take after, what the babyās temper would be like. So when around Y/Nās eleventh week of gestation, Enzo had to get out of town for a week or so to do a photo shoot for a new movie he was going to start working on the brunette encouraged him to go, she was going to be just fine on her own.
One hot summer afternoon Y/N hurried through the aisles of the grocery store, her shopping list clutched tightly in her hand. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting a harsh glow on the rows of products. She had been feeling a bit off all day but chalked it up to the usual pregnancy symptoms. After all, at eleven weeks along, she was still adjusting to the constant waves of nausea and fatigue that had been bothering her for almost three months.
As she reached for a box of cereal, a sudden, sharp pain pierced her abdomen. She gasped, doubling over and clutching her stomach. The pain was intense, like a knife twisting deep inside her. She took a few shallow breaths, trying to steady herself. āAre you okay, maāam?ā A concerned voice broke through her haze of pain. A young store employee. who couldnāt be older than 19Ā stood nearby, his eyes wide with worry.Y/N nodded weakly, though she wasnāt sure she believed it herself. āJust a cramp, I think,ā she managed to say, forcing a smile. But as she straightened up, she felt something wet and warm trickling down her leg. Her heart pounded in her chest as she glanced down, her breath catching in her throat at the sight of blood seeping down her sundress. Panic surged through her, and she grabbed the edge of the shelf to steady herself.
āI need to get to the hospital,ā she said, her voice trembling. The employeeās face paled, and he quickly called for help. Within minutes, another employee arrived with a wheelchair and helped Y/N into it. They wheeled her to the front of the store, where an ambulance was already pulling up. The paramedics moved quickly, transferring her to a stretcher and into the back of the ambulance and all she could think of was needing Enzo by her side. Tears streamed down Y/Nās face as the sirens wailed, the pain in her abdomen growing worse with each passing second. The paramedics spoke in low, urgent tones, their faces grim. She clutched her belly, whispering prayers for her baby, fear gripping her heart.
At the ER, the chaos was immediate. Nurses and doctors swarmed around her, asking questions and starting IV lines. Y/N could barely focus on their words, her mind spinning with terror and grief she didnāt know when, but amid all that chaos, she could utter to the nurse beside her to call her emergency contact on her phone. They whisked her into an exam room, and a kind-faced doctor leaned over her, explaining that they needed to do an ultrasound. The room fell silent as the doctor moved the wand over her abdomen. Y/N stared at the monitor, her vision blurred by tears. She knew, even before the doctor spoke in the deepest pit of her heart, what the outcome would be. The absence of the tiny, flickering heartbeat on the screen confirmed her worst fear.
āIām so sorry,ā the doctor said softly, his eyes full of compassion. āYouāre having a miscarriage.ā The brunette wasnāt even sure she understood English when the doctor spoke, his words sounded foreign and distant.Y/Nās world shattered in that moment. The room seemed to close in around her, the sounds of the hospital fading to a distant hum. She felt a sob rise in her throat, and she let it out, a wail of pure anguish that echoed through the sterile room. The nurse beside her squeezed her hand, offering what little comfort she could.
Hours later, Y/N lay in a hospital bed, the pain in her body now dulled by medication but the ache in her heart raw and relentless. The room was quiet, save for the occasional beep of the monitor. She stared at the ceiling, feeling hollow and empty. The loss was overwhelming, a black hole of grief and pain. She had never imagined this could happen, had never prepared for this kind of heartbreak. The future she had envisioned for herself and her family had been ripped away in an instant. Thatās when she felt the tight grip on her hand and the familiar warmth inside her when Enzo kissed her forehead long, he wasnāt even trying to hide his tears. As soon as he received that call from an unknown number hours earlier, he knew, he knew in his gut something was wrong with Y/N, and when he heard the nurse say in that grim tone the words girlfriend, hospital, baby, he knew, he couldnāt hear anything else he hopped on the first plane that would take him home and 5 hours earlier, he was next to the love of his life, she looked as if she wasnāt there, it was like he was holding a mannequinās hand, but he was there and Enzo knew she could feel him beside her. āIām sorry for leaving you, I should have never goneā he whispered closing his eyes, he felt so guilty about it, as if this somehow was his fault.
But even in the depths of his sorrow, a small, fragile part of him held onto hope. Enzo knew the road ahead would be long and difficult, especially for Y/N, but he was determined to make sure they would survive this, to find a way to heal. For now, though, he allowed themselves to grieve, to mourn the loss of the little life they had already loved so dearly.
P.S: This got way darker and personal than I had anticipated, but I like the way it came out. I will try and get to writing the next one today as well, to make sure it gets on here ASAP because I donāt want to leave you all on a down note for too long! I promise the flood of fluff coming your way with this will make up for this darker tone.Ā As usual, your likes, comments and reblogs are super nice and encouraging to receive, I will not ask for a certain amount, but I do really enjoy the interactions. If you wanna be part of the taglist, please just comment so down here and I'll make sure to add you to it. ššš
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