(Since this is my pinned, let me add: if you know what my main is, no you don't! No, you don't need to "warn" people about this blog, mind your fucking business!)
roman who has remus' grindr bc remus will ignore a text for days but he always checks the grindr messages. like ro hasn't blocked him on there because it's the only guaranteed way to get in contact when remus is distracted doing stupid shit. re hears that ding and automatically is reading the dm.
it's not even awkward for roman, he'll be like "hold on let me text remus and see if XYZ" and open grindr in front of god and everybody. someone's like don't the pics bother you and roman is like "I've lived with remus my whole life, I've seen his dick plenty" because remus just has never had any modesty whatsoever. he probably doesn't even take clothes with him into the bathroom to shower he just walks out naked and using the last clean towel to dry his hair, and roman is more annoyed about the towel then the full frontal nudity.
someone is like "well if you're always using it to text him why hasn't remus blocked you??" and roman says "oh remus doesn't block people on grindr, he says he isn't the type of person to close himself to possibility."
which roman took to mean remus is absolutely dtf insane bitches (true) and lives by a "block me yourself coward" philosophy (also true) but then whoever he's talking to asks the obvious question about remus "not closing himself off to potential possibilities" and roman not being blocked on the hookup site
and roman gets this look on his face like this set of clues has never put itself together into that potential outcome before and he lifts up his phone and slowly and carefully starts typing a message, gets a reply ding IMMEDIATELY, and says a quiet "huh"
whoever he's talking to irl is like what the fuck does huh mean!! what did you ask. what did he say. why are you looking thoughtful and continuing to type, did I open some weird pandora's box and start something???
anyway after that sometimes roman will get a message and react with a sort of blushing high pitched giggle and literally no one on earth wants to dig into their message history.
Remus hummed vaguely from the floor, his voice almost inaudible under the sounds of the firewood he was throwing into their fireplace. They had made a pillow fort some time earlier -- a Remus patented, chaotic mess of pillows and blankets that they had long given up on keeping stable, opting instead to lounge on top of it, treating it like a makeshift couch. It had been Remus' idea; Roman had been bummed out by their potential abscence from the party they were supposed to attend with their friends (hosted by Janus, who had the biggest house, but organized by Patton, because Patton was the one who cared about these things), and Remus had brought up the thought as an excuse to cheer him up.
The party had only been an annual tradition for the last two years, but Roman and Patton both worked for it as though it were an ancient ritual. Janus and Virgil, though they always said they couldn't care less, fretted about it nearly as much as Roman did -- a well-kept secret that only Remus was privy to, of course.
"i'm serious," Roman insisted. "I don't want them to keep hoping we'll get there eventually."
"I sent a text," Remus answered vaguely.
It was a shame, really. Roman had prepared both his and Remus' bags filled with gifts (they'd made them together over the course of the month; Remus hadn't been planning on making anything, but Roman had roped him into his own plans and they'd ended up working on them an equal amount, so Roman insisted on calling them "joint gifts"). They had been basically ready to step out the door when they had realized they were snowed in.
Roman had nearly cried, the poor thing. Remus was actually quite content with staying in and drinking himself into a dizzy state in the comfort of his brother's arms rather than in front of a crowd. He'd have Roman all to himself, for once. They had jumped directly from family gatherings to this arrangement with their friends, and Remus, as happy as he always was to socialize with a group of people who only kind of wanted him there, had been sick of the Christmas energy since November.
Having finally successfully set up the fire, Remus stood back up with a satisfied sigh. He turned back towards Roman, "There! Not so bad for a cozy atmosphere, eh?"
Roman pouted at him dejectedly.
Remus had been trying to cheer him up for the better part of the afternoon. He was starting to run out of ideas.
"Want a hot chocolate?" he pivoted.
Roman nodded. Remus turned and walked to their kitchen.
Remus was never comfortable with genuinely sad people. His best friend was Janus, who couldn't express genuine vulnerability to save his life (unless it was to make himself look good), and the very few times he'd seen him cry, they had both been happy to simply pretend it wasn't happening. Roman was theatric with it, though. Remus supposed Janus was too; the difference being that Janus' theatrics were rehearsed. Remus prided himself on being as open as a man could possibly be, but he truly didn't do good around other people's openness.
He knew Roman, though. He knew the kind of sappy shit Roman would do when he was sad, to cheer himself up, to make himself worse. It wasn't as easy to imitate him as Remus thought it would be. In a way, Remus kind of wished Patton was there. He always seemed to know how to lift people up, when to indulge or distract them, what they needed. Then again, if Patton was there, Roman probably wouldn't need any cheering up at all.
Not that he cared.
He glanced at Roman's curled-up form lying down on their pillow-couch while waiting for the mild to warm up. He had dressed down from his party outfit to an ill-fitting sweater that Remus thought he must've gotten as a joke gift, it was such bad taste. Remus could almost wear it himself. He had half a mind to ask to try it on, but Roman had also been complaining about the cold (hence: fireplace) and Remus guessed that he wouldn't take kindly to being asked to strip. Not that that was the point of Remus asking to try his sweater on. He was never upset to see a handsom man shirtless, but Roman certainly wouldn't take kindly to that thought, either.
"Heh, gross," Remus chuckled under his breath. If Patton had heard that, he'd have screamed.
Remus finished Roman's hot chocolate and walked back to their living room and presented it to him with a flourish. "Ta-daaa!"
The corner of Roman's lips twitched ever so slightly, either at the drink or at the sillyness. Success.
"Thank you," Roman said, then reached out towards the mug.
And promptly dropped it.
Roman yelled -- a short, quick sound that barely made it to Remus' ears before it was stopped by Roman's throat seemingly closing in on it as he froze up.
"Oh, shit," Remus swore, then hurriedly grabbed the mug from where it sat in Roman's lap -- somehow fast enough that half of the liquid was still in there. He turned to set it down on the small table in front of the TV so that it couldn't be dropped again by accident, then turned back to Roman. "Are you okay?"
Roman didn't answer. Instead, he hiccupped.
Well, fuck.
"Hey, hey," Remus said softly, climbing on the couchfort and grabbing Roman's face with inexperiencedly gentle hands. "It's okay, it's okay! You're not hurt, are you? It wasn't that hot, yeah?"
Roman shook his head with a sob. "No but it's all over my clothes and you made it for me and I really wanted that hot chocolate and you--"
"I'll make you another one. Like, right now," Remus said. "It takes two minutes. We have a lot of milk. Come on, take off your clothes and I'll put them in the wash now so it doesn't stain."
"I'll be cold," Roman whined.
"No you won't, the fireplace is right here. Look," Remus refuted, stripping down and only leaving his collar on, "I'm not cold! Not cold at all! C'mon, it's so hot in here!"
Roman stared at him all teary-eyed for about two seconds but, thankfully, obeyed easily enough.
"There, good," Remus whispered (to himself more than to Roman). He really didn't fucking do well with genuinely sad people.
He literally ran to the washing machine and back (because God knew what state Roman would be in if left alone for too long) and jumped back to Roman's side.
"This is the worst Christmas of my life," Roman sobbed.
"Well, thanks," Remus joked.
Roman looked up towards him, then completely broke down in sobs. "That's not," he sniffled, "not what I," another hiccup, "what I meant, I'm..." and a sob, "I'm sorry!"
Remus panicked. He had quite literally exhausted his entire list of things to cheer sappy, melodramatic people up with, the last item resulting in disaster -- and something in his brain was shouting about shitty Christmas romcoms, grand gestures, things Roman liked--
Remus was a creature of instincts. Remus took a rough hold of Roman's face, his mind going blank (as it was prone to do when he was about to make a very, very bad decision on impulse), and he smashed their lips together hard enough to, hopefully, make Roman forget about anything else.
different part of my dream, roman and remus were making a video, and remus got excited about something roman said and kissed him, and then they both remembered it was a live stream and remus was like "fuck we can't edit that out" and roman was like "once it's on the internet it's there forever" like oops guess this is what he'll now be known for eternity
idk it felt very poignant that that one moment of being happy crashed roman's career.
the chat went insane "did I just see that" "say sike" "it's gotta be a joke" "he said they normally edit that out" etc etc
screenshots and bootlegs ended up everywhere, there were probably memes about them
and remus felt super guilty but roman didn't blame him he was like "I forgot too, we were both careless, you should never regret expressing yourself to me" type of convo
really made me wonder about how roman would navigate the notoriety for the years following
just like in a grocery checkout being recognized and getting asked about it and having people constantly in his business asking if he and remus are still together or something
I think the moral of the story was that his fame was fleeting but what he had with remus was much more permanent and if he had to choose one he would have chosen remus anyway.
like roman had his moment in the sun but he was happy out of the limelight because he got to go home from the shopping and remus would be there
so what I'm thinking about, when it comes to hanahaki roman, is that he absolutely doesn't want to admit his feelings to remus
so, other options!
1. die
2. get the flowers (and the feelings) surgically removed
ding ding ding!! obviously option two!! it literally solves his problem for him!
except. that then he goes and falls in love with remus again. why did no one tell him this could happen? why, he thinks, as the oh so familiar tickle and itch starts in his throat and his every breath smells of the flowers that are plaguing him all over again, did no one fucking warn him!!!
cool cool cool, whatever, all that stupid as hell paperwork and recovery time all over again, and the doctor tells him that his insurance won't cover the hanahaki removal again after this if he gets it again within a year of the first time
which is reasonable! he doesn't want to be suffering from this constantly either! it's just remus and his stupid expressive eyes, and his stupid little giggle, and and and
roman cant think about it. he cant think too much about remus, and he certainly cant risk going anywhere near him any time soon!
roman absolutely cannot do anything that could encourage those stupid (recurring!!) feelings to show back up
unfortunately for him, remus has never dealt well with being ignored
fuck the gentleness on remus here has got me all twisted up in the best way like he is being soft with roman aldjslfhsl murmuring sweet nothings or giving such a soft kiss
enchanted by the idea of remus approaching roman slowly with his overtures, or him treading with caution because roman deserves the chance to really think about what he's offering
remus showing roman reverence by proving that this is so much more than just impulse, that there is care and sweetness within himself and he's presenting that vulnerability to roman as well
remus offering roman the parts of him that he doesn't let other people see
scenario where roman has just been broken up with and his anxieties get wound up and he's like "what if I am too hard to love?" and remus responding by slapping that idea down so fucking fast like "loving you is the easiest thing in the world" (loving roman is the easiest thing remus has ever done, as automatic and self renewing as breathing, it ignites in him anew with every breath he takes in roman's presence)
I don't want to put your tags on blast but I wanna talk about this!
I don't think he'd think of himself as peak friend material either, honestly I feel like it was more of a 'ha ha this is stupid I'm going to do it!' and I'd looove to incorporate someone telling him about it like that!! also yeah he's great and he knows he's an acquired taste but he'll find someone!!
Of course Janus has to be there, the rules are the rules!
I feel at first Janus is like 'that sounds... pathetic' but then Remus shows him how much people pay for just one session and he's like... 'nevermind I'll be your manager if you want.'
Roman absolutely has insecurities about the whole situation, he's going to be ditched by someone he paid to hang out with.
But no, Remus bounds in all wide sharp smiles and high energy and Romans shoulders loosen a bit.
The longer the hang out goes the more they're hitting it off, sure Remus has some unsavory things about him but so does Roman! he's not going to hold it against him, they banter, the playfully argue about nothing that matters and it's a fantastic time.
So fun for them both that they pass by the allotted time that was paid for without noticing.
As per the contract of the Friend Website the patron also has to pay for anything that they decide to be doing but Remus is having so much fun with someone (finally) that he pays for the whole evening - 'I won't tell if you won't tell' he winks cheekily.
Perhaps cause there's no refunds through the website Remus just goes above and beyond to pay Roman back in little gestures.
REMROM TRICK OR TREAT!! Maybe a human AU plot/idea? 👀
- @creativitwincest
🍬🍫🍭Treat! 🍭🍫🍬
Oh man I have so many human AU plot ideas... which one to choose!
Okay here's a silly one that's been in my notes for a while.
It's called Rent a Friend.
Yes it is exactly how it sounds.
So Roman is charismatic, he's fun and sweet and a good guy!
He's also over the top, dramatic and prideful sometimes to his own detriment - He's Too Much.
He can't seem to keep any real friends cause he's not the best... judge of character unfortunately.
His one real friend is Patton, but sometimes one friend is still lonely - you can't just lay all your life on one person who has their own stuff going on too (even though Patton swears he's alright with it).
Anyway, one very lonely day Roman stumbles upon a webbed site, it's a ridiculous notion - renting a friend? how absurd! that person would only be there for the paycheck.
He saves the url.
He keeps thinking about it, well why not right?
He goes to Host Cafes sometimes - Hell, strippers and prostitutes are paid company and they're effective for the people who get their services.
How would this be different? (of course without the being paid for sex thing).
So he checks out the site, he's not quite sure what he's looking for at first - just window shopping to see what the people there are like.
He goes through a few profiles, they all seem fine.
Not... exciting enough though.
But then he sees this one profile, it has a very low star rating that draws Roman in - he can relate.
Clicking through he gets a laugh at seeing this Friend is named Remus - they match.
He keeps reading, Remus is... wild to say the least.
But he's the first person that actually sounds fun and exciting enough for Roman to actually consider this whole thing.
At the end of Remus' personal blurb is a picture of him - and damn, he's hot?? in a weird crooked, grungy way.
At this point Romans mind is made up but he still reads the few reviews that Remus' page holds.
All one stars - a lot saying they'd rate less if they could.
Everyone has different things to say but they all have one thing in common with their complaints: He's Too Much.
@creativitwincest hope this is what you meant by plot/idea :3c
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