Authors Notes; Quite frankly I view this guy as extremely vanilla (lmao) so. Ao3 version here
A: Aftercare
Not the best at aftercare but also not the worst. He's extremely awkward as he cleans you up, avoiding eye contact with you or your bits for too long as he wipes you down. Cuddling is also out of the question, as the intimacy would probably give him a second wind and make clean up pointless.
Post awakening, however, he gets much better. He's still awkward but no longer tries to avoid eye contact or touching you too much. Cuddling is still awkward as he does get hard again but he typically ignores it or jerks off, or if you allow it you go again repeating the whole process.
B: Body Part
Dark Cacao Cookie is, quite frankly, an ass man. Due to the nature of the Dark Cacao Kingdom's weather he is safe from the torment of tight clothes and short skirts and shorts, but even if you bend over in the most modest clothing possible his brain takes it and runs with it. Pervy old man who can't stop thinking about your ass even if its during a meeting. He loves spooning and feeling your ass against him. His second favorite part of you is your eyes and how you look at him so deeply in love, though he'd rather die than admit something so intimate and vulnerable.
His favorite part on himself are his arms, they're toned well to better wield his sword and protect his people. He loves it when he can feel you grip his arm for security or balance while walking together, as it makes him feel like he is fully capable of protecting you.
Post awakening his favorite body part on himself are his legs, he worked hard to climb those stairs damn it.
C: Cum
His cum is thick and bitter and he cums a lot. He loves cumming in or on your ass, though if you have a pussy he tries to avoid cumming inside (despite his breeding kink, he's not entirely ready to have another child). Post awakening he does lose that habit and loves cumming inside just to watch it leak out of your ruined hole, and if he's feeling indulgent will fuck it back in with his fingers.
D: Dirty secret
Post awakening Dark Cacao is honestly obsessed with watching you choke on his cock and hopes that you never work on your gag reflex. Its his absolute guilty pleasure to watch you sputter and gasp after taking his massive dick down your throat and he does accidentally get too rough sometimes. He makes it up to you with a ton of praise and like 3 orgasms afterwards so maybe the pain is worth it.
E: Experience
He's had a few partners in the past and clearly had a kid with one of them, so he has some experience. Though pre awakening he's fairly vanilla and hesitates to actually explore kinks and new positions.
F: Favorite position
Honestly boring as fuck and prefers missionary, but after awakening any position that allows him easy access to watch your ass jiggle as he fucks into you is a win in his book. Though he also loves it when you sit on his face. The only exception to the watching your ass rule is when he can hold it and squeeze your cheeks. He prefers to top but will make an exception on occasion.
G: Goofy
Fairly serious but not like militant serious. Sex isn't something he gets to have very often due to his position so he doesn't want to goof off the entire time. Post awakening he loosens up considerably and relaxes.
H: Hair
Well groomed and black with a few white hairs few and far between.
I: Intimacy
Pre awakening he's extremely awkward and tries to avoid anything too romantic, but its very obvious that things like holding his hand, kissing him, or touching him in extremely casual ways works him up more. Post awakening he learns to lean into it and becomes more romantic himself, though it also means that you're in for it every single time.
Pre awakening if you told him "I love you" during sex he'd cum prematurely and get embarrassed and stop, post awakening he still cums prematurely but just fucks the cum further into you while he praises you and tells you how much he loves you back.
J: Jack off
Doesn't jerk off at all, not because its shameful but simply because he doesn't have the time or privacy to do so. He always has an advisor hanging around him or outside his door waiting for something, and even the rare moments he has any peace he still isn't very keen on masturbating in case something happens and he needs to be ready to fight. Paranoid, maybe, but he'd rather be sexually frustrated then fight with his cock out.
K: Kink
Cockwarming; Intimacy is what gets him really going and what's more intimate than doing paperwork with his cock stuffed in your ass? Probably a lot of things but he doesn't really care. Loves feeling you squeeze and squirm on top of him while he presses absent minded kisses to your neck while filling out mindless forms. His hand is also pressed firmly into your hip to prevent you from moving.
Praise; Now you might think him giving the praise is the kink, but it's not. He'll praise you regardless, it's you praising him that gets him worked up. All the ancients have very low opinions of themselves, so hearing their partners talk about how much they love them and how good they are at providing and protecting is one of the sexiest things you can do. This especially applies for Dark Cacao after all of his failures.
Tell him that he's a wonderful king and husband and he's taken such good care of you and he gets a little louder and his hips stutter as he fucks into you, tell him that you love and adore him so much and that he's your world and he cums hard and deep.
Body Worship; Yet again something mutual but really enjoys on himself in a guilty way. Focus on his arms, his stomach, and his legs trailing kisses and bites across the dough. He doesn't typically bottom or sub, so it's extremely rare that you get to do it so make sure to savor the moment by going as slowly as possible. You've really gotta appreciate the way the muscles twitch under his dough as you drag your lips across his abs, or the way his thighs tense when you gentle bite at the inside. When you're finally done playing with him you can focus on his cock, which is painfully hard and leaking so much pre you'd think he'd already cum.
It doesn't take him long to cum down your throat afterwards.
L: Location
The bedroom and maybe at some point the throne room. He's not willing to take too many risks in being seen or interrupted.
M: Motivation
Another pervert where your mere existence is enough to get him going, though you bending over helps. Being romantic with him is another thing that gets him going; telling him you love him, bringing him meals when he's too busy, kissing his cheeks or the palm of his hand. Anything soft and domestic works him up.
N: No
He won't do blood/jam play at all. He's willing to do impact play by spanking you or even slapping other parts of your body but actually drawing jam is where he draws the line. He's also not willing to watch somebody else fuck you, though he will allow a third to participate if they're trusted enough (the other ancients, for example).
He's also not touching daddy kink or any other fauxcest.
O: Oral
Loves both giving and getting oral, and he enjoys it when you tug at his hair or tie it up and hold it for him. Crush his face between your thighs or hold his head down and fuck his throat, it just means he's doing a good job. Would prefer if you came down his throat or in his mouth, but wouldn't really complain if you did it on his face.
Getting oral he rests his hand on your head, and depending on your preferences he either just leaves it there or uses it as leverage to fuck into your throat. Loves cumming down your throat or all over your face.
P: Pace
Dark Cacao's usual pace is slow but deep. When he does get the time to have sex he prefers it to last a while and for you both to cum multiple times. It's less fucking and more making love, but if you call it that he gets flustered and cums too fast.
Q: Quickie
He doesn't really do quickies nor does he enjoy them. He prefers to take his time.
R: Risk
No risk. He not only has a reputation but he also can't get hard if he's too anxious or nervous. He's old as hell give him a break.
Though he probably has fucked you in a closet at some point when you were both drunk after one of Hollyberry's parties.
S: Stamina
Dark Cacao has INSANE stamina and can go multiple rounds without ever getting tired. He also has the energy to pick you up and manhandle you if you get tired.
T: Toys
He's not opposed to them but he doesn't own any himself. He might not see the point in vibrators or dildos since he's right there but he does see the use in them after catching you fucking yourself with one (and getting a nice view of your ass). He's also not opposed to trying a vibrating plug on himself, though he'd never approach you with his curiosities out of embarrassment.
U: Unfair
Dark Cacao isn't that unfair and doesn't really tease you much unless he's tipsy or in a playful mood, that is until he awakens. Post awakening he becomes more unfair and and much more playful, testing his resolve by keeping just the tip of his cock in your hole and seeing how long you two can last before he either gives up or you make a compelling enough argument.
V: Volume
He's fairly quiet outside of the rare grunt or moan, but he does praise and degrade you quite a bit.
W: Wild card
You both have 100% had a threesome with one of the other ancients before; after one of Hollyberry's gatherings. He'd never admit openly (at least until he awakens) but he really enjoyed it.
X: X-Ray
Dark Cacao is fairly large and rather thick, and he only gets bigger post awakening. You need adequate foreplay before he can penetrate regardless.
His dick also has thick veins on the side.
Y: Yearning
His libido is fairly high but he's so disciplined he typically just ignores it. Had it not been for his status as king and his aversion to doing anything that could risk his position he'd probably be having sex more frequently.
Z: Zzz
Dark Cacao takes a while to fall asleep after sex, he needs to check up on you to make sure you're okay and, sometimes if his worries get really bad, do a quick sweep of the castle to make sure everything is okay.
It's been a while; I haven't forgotten my AUs I've just been focusing on other things. I do have a second Spouse of Knowledge fic plotted out that I'll hopefully get done someday.
Ao3 version is here
A: Attraction (What do they find attractive in a partner?)
Pristine Milk finds curiosity attractive. The unwaverable appetite for knowledge no matter how useless that knowledge may be, the never ending search for little facts that do nothing for you other than just something to know. He also values someone who finds wonder in little things, like how a butterfly flaps its wings or the way the wind blows. He takes a lot of things for granted, so having someone who will stop to appreciate the little things is valuable.
B: Banter (How playful is your relationship?)
He can be very playful at times, especially after abandoning his title as the Fount of Knowledge. He loves playing minor pranks on his partner and adores it when they play them back on him. Without all of the stress of being an emissary he's become far more relaxed and shows it, even going as far as dragging his partner back into bed if he's not quite ready to start his day (and ignoring you pushing at his head to get him off).
C: Celebrate (How do they celebrate special events?)
Pristine Milk prefers his own milestones to be quiet (his "birth", for example), but if its a shared milestone or solely yours he goes all out. Star Sapphire and Sweet Apple help but he's the sole culprit behind planning. All of your favorite foods, decorations relevant to your interests no matter how odd, every gift he could possible think to get and buy, he even allows visitors to the Spire so you can have your friends with you (though… they are blindfolded by Star Sapphire and Sweet Apple when led there).
Overall he's still showy just like his corrupted variant would be, but it's less about him and more about you.
D: Dates (What are dates with them like?)
Dates with Pristine Milk are often quiet, reading together, watching a movie, taking a walk, mundane things that don't require too much energy or going out. Though he's not opposed to going out to restaurants or the whatnot, he just prefers quite time with you and him.
And, on occasion, the kids if its a family event like a theme park.
E: Entranced (What about you mesmerizes them?)
At first it wasn't much, but the more he got to know you the more it was everything about you. The way you talk about the things that interest you, the little habits you might not notice like chewing on your pen or your lip or the way you fidget with the pages of books, small little minute tidbits that can easily be overlooked by others are things that he zones in on now.
He focuses on the little things that make you "you".
F: Feelings (When did they get them?)
His feelings were a slow burn of over 400 years. You going from a simple curiosity and pet project to see if he could "rehabilitate" a so called "human" into a cookie, to a friend, to a lover.
His feelings built up gradually from just being excited to see you and relax and be a normal cookie and not a god to being genuinely upset if you were too busy to spend time with him. He doesn't acknowledge those feelings until you finally leave, and then it all crashes on him at once.
It's not that he was in denial, either. It's that he hadn't experienced any of those feelings before and couldn't recognize or categorize them.
G: Gifts (What gifts do they give you?)
Typically books, though he does branch out into things he'd crafted by hand (plushies, paintings, clothes). Everything is relevant to your interests and themed around them. He also favors useful gifts over pointless things that take up space, so the plushies were enchanted to be able to assist with small tasks.
H: Health (How do they take care of you when injured or ill?)
Being a former emissary he was actually baked resilient to diseases, so he gets clingy when you're sick and not feeling well. There is no getting rid of him when you're bed ridden, and he only teleports out for a few minutes to fetch you food and medication before rushing back.
With injuries he's even more clingy, as the risk of somebody realizing you aren't bleeding jam is far too great and he's not about to have some… unfavorable suspects target you for nefarious reasons. Due to your magical resistance healing magic is ineffective so he deals with your injuries the old fashioned way of "close the wound with dressing and ensure that it remains clean". Pristine Milk also no longer allows you to do much of anything that could put stress on the wound or your body and if given the chance would carry you around the entire Spire in his arms.
I: Idealistic (What is their ideal life with you like?)
Marriage with a small family, though he's already achieved both so he's technically living the dream. He'd prefer to move away from the Spire, but due to circumstances outside of his control (nightmares of corrupted versions of himself sneaking through one of the Spires time rifts and the Spire itself calling out to him) he just accepts that living in the Spire is a necessity. He at least still has his little family of you and his students, with plans of finding a way to have a biological child through magical means.
J: Jealousy (How jealous are they?)
It heavily depends on if its a mortal fling or not, with mortals he understands they're a small part of your life (maybe around 80 to 100 years) while he has you for eternity, but if its another immortal cookie flirting with you he becomes a bit more jealous.
Though he also has to deal with the knowledge that his own soul jam visits you in your dreams, but it's not like he can do anything about that jealousy.
K: Kiss (What are kisses with them like?)
Soft and sweet and most often chaste, he gives kisses often but they're so innocent it makes you giggly and giddy the rest of the day. His favorite places to kiss you are on the hands and anywhere on your face. He adores taking advantage of your height difference to press kisses to your forehead when you aren't paying attention.
Pristine Milk's lips taste a little like blueberry and are very smooth.
L: Love (How do they show that they love you?)
Little actions that show that he's thinking of you, things like making you coffee or tea, having the book you were reading moved to your favorite seating area before you even realize you forgot it, having a bath drawn when you look exhausted.
He also shows affection through physical touch, like resting his hand on your back when he's standing next to you or wrapping his arm around your waist.
M: Misunderstanding (How do they handle a misunderstanding in the relationship?)
Despite being like 2000+ years old Pristine Milk can be childish at times. He'll throw tantrums if you upset him too much or sulk if he gets too jealous, and it takes a lot of pampering for him to not whine about his "mistreatment".
Despite his childish nature he isn't stupid; he can parse when it's a genuine misunderstanding caused by miscommunication and will react maturely about it.
N: Nourishment (Who does the cooking and caretaking?)
Pristine Milk is the one who handles a vast majority of the cooking, this is in spite of the fact that he doesn't eat much or at all since the Soul Jam supplies most of his energy. He finds the act of cooking and cleaning to be relaxing, a menial task that doesn't require the use of his brain outside of remembering recipes, occasional conversions if he's making a smaller portion, or what cleaning chemical is safe for cookie use and what's only safe for him to use.
Of course he isn't opposed to you handling it, but will often distract you so he can take over.
O: Observant (How good are they at reading you?)
He's gotten extremely good at reading you over the centuries you've known each other, and he can always tell when you're upset before you've even fully registered that you're upset. He also recognizes the sparkle of curiosity or mischief in your eyes when you're about to go down a rabbit hole of useless information and prepares snacks and drinks accordingly.
P: Pet Names (What do they call you)
My love, my dear, my muse, all sorts of sappy shit. He does frequently use the possessive "my" but will sometimes drop it.
Q: Quality Time (How do they spend their down time with you?)
Reading primarily, though he does enjoy lazing about in bed with you as well. Takes full advantage of his portals to quickly and easily grab whatever could be needed, whether its food or drinks. He does tend to get pouty when your free time ends and you have to get back to work. Pristine Milk even goes as far as latching onto you so you're forced to drag him half out of bed to get away.
R: Romance (How romantic are they?)
Extremely romantic. Primarily in the little ways that show you that he's always thinking about you. Fixing your favorite beverage so its fresh for you, leaving your favorite snacks in your favorite reading spots, leaving you hand written notes wishing you the best day possible.
S: Sacrifice (What are they willing to give up for you?)
Pristine Milk gave up everything for you, his title as the Fount of Knowledge, his position as an emissary of the witches, he was even willing to give up his Soul Jam and live as a normal cookie with you. Pristine Milk was willing to sacrifice anything and everything to keep you, and went through with that promise by cloaking the Spire in mist so it's entirely hidden from all of cookiekind so he could run away to explore the world with you.
He was even willing to risk his very dough by locking it under the silver tree, just to ensure Earthbread was safe for you to enjoy to the fullest, though that thankfully ended up being unnecessary.
T: Temper (Do they get upset with you?)
Very rarely will he get genuinely upset with you, the last time was when you'd had arguments about giving up his title as Fount.
When he does get upset with you he tries to communicate it plainly, though if it's something extremely minor he will be a drama queen about it just to get more of your attention.
U: Understanding (How well do they understand you?)
He sometimes struggles to understand you due to cultural differences and the fact that you fairly regularly reference human things. He does absolutely adore learning to understand you though. He has a whole series of notebooks solely dedicated to writing down your odd habits and sayings.
V: Vent (How open are they about their emotions?)
At first he's still fairly closed off, but he has slowly learned to open up. Pristine Milk wants to value open communication, and that also involves he himself opening up about his emotions and feelings.
It takes a couple hundred years but he does eventually tell you about his full past, describing the witches and their roles.
W: Wild Card
Pristine Milk is constantly fighting for your attention; primarily due to the fact that the Light of Deceit, Light of Truth, and the Spire are all also vying for your attention and affections. The Lights regularly visit you in your dreams and the Spire itself favors you and shows it by shuffling the rooms to your benefit.
If Pristine Milk ever upsets you he immediately gets lost in the Spire with it moving rooms and adjusting hallways so he never makes it to his goal. It also changes every portrait in the halls to be of you, just to remind him he fucked up.
X: XOXO (How physically affectionate are they?)
Extremely affectionate. He loves holding you or touching you in some way, whether it be holding you from behind to rest his chin on your head or holding your hand and rubbing the back of it with his thumb. He gets especially clingy when jealous, practically wrapping himself around your body possessively.
He also loves it when you reciprocate, and fully expects you to shower him in kisses.
Y: Yearning (Do they miss you?)
Every day, every hour, every second you're away. He sends you constant letters when you're away and sometimes even teleports to you specifically to get his fill of attention, even if it uses up all his energy to travel to another continent.
Z: Zzz (What is it like sharing a bed?)
He's extremely clingy and loves spooning, so even if you try to push him away in your sleep he clings desperately. He runs a little on the colder side, so if you run hot when you sleep he's a wonderful sleeping partner. If you run cold you'll probably need extra blankets to survive.
He thankfully doesn't snore or anything, though he does drool a bit in his sleep.
Imagine a vampire sucked your blood and they didn't even pop a boner. not even half hard. fully flaccid the entire time they sucked your blood. I'd be so humiliated.
Apparently I cannot be trusted when it comes to my posting schedule...my apologies!
A: Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
7/10! Capsaicin gives good aftercare, but he could stand to improve on some parts. For example, even if you’ve been going at it for hours, he’ll still be energetic and talkative after sex, which can be a bit overwhelming if you’re exhausted and/or mentally foggy. He’s a giver, and he loves being able to spoil you. Sometimes, when you try to help out, he’ll whine at you to let him take care of everything.
Even though his aftercare could be better, he always cleans you up, praises you, and snuggles you until you either fall asleep or you’re ready to get up and continue the day. He remembers what you specifically need in your aftercare: you can ask him to bring you water or snacks one time and he’ll make sure to keep some in the bedroom from then on out. If he notices you get emotional when he praises you, the first thing he’ll always do after sex is scoop you up in his arms to tell you how good you did and how much he loves you. Further into your relationship when he’s gotten accustomed to your aftercare preferences, he progresses from a 7/10 to an 8/10!
B: Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partners)
He’s a tummy man and he isn’t subtle about it. Even outside of the bedroom, he loves resting his chin on your stomach while he talks your ear off (although this does often lead to him getting mouthy). If his horns didn’t get in the way, he would love to rest his cheek against your belly to use it as a pillow.
Your thighs are a close second, and he treats them similarly. If you wear short shorts or a short skirt around him, you’d better hope you don’t have anywhere else to be that day, because he will cover your thighs in hickeys and love bites.
He’s pretty proud of his physique, so he’s never really had a favorite part of himself. Although, when the two of you started exploring the sexual side of your relationship, he discovered how much he loves the feeling of your hands on his horns. Whether you’re holding them to ground yourself as he pounds into you or tugging on them when he’s going down on you, touching his horns is an easy way to ramp him up in the bedroom. He’s never happier than he is with your thighs squeezing his head and your hands gripping his horns.
C: Cum (basically anything to do with cum)
He generally cums an insane amount, and it’s warmer than average. In a committed relationship, his favorite place to cum will be inside his partner. He’ll use protection if he’s with anyone else. If you’re going down on him, he’d love to cum down your throat—but he doesn’t want to do that if it’s something you can’t handle! He’ll usually pull out of your mouth unless you express interest in swallowing.
Speaking of, he always makes sure you cum at least once before penetration. He’s a giver, and he would prefer it if you came before him, full stop—but if you ask nicely enough, he’ll let you jerk or suck him off first. As long as he gets to return the favor! He feels a little bad being the only one to receive, sure, but more than that, he just loves making you feel good!
D: Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory)
Capsaicin is pretty open, he’s too shameless to keep many secrets. You’ll know everything he’s into (or even curious about) a few months after your relationship turned sexual.
E: Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Capsaicin isn’t much for one-night stands, but he’s had some friends with benefits before—that, of course, reverted back to being normal friends as soon as he entered a romantic relationship. He knows what he’s doing well enough, but he isn’t an expert by any means.
F: Favorite position
As long as you’re willing to let him, he loves manhandling you in bed to show off his strength. This makes his favorite positions ones like full nelson or the mating press, where he can pleasure you and show off at the same time. He’s strong enough to toss you around no matter how much you weigh, and he loves surprising you with it.
G: Goofy (are they more serious or humorous in the moment?)
Even in the bedroom, Capsaicin can’t restrain his silliness! As long as the mood accounts for it, he’ll be cracking jokes the entire time. Probably said ‘huzzah’ when he saw you naked for the first time. He’ll blow raspberries on your thighs when he’s about to go down on you, squeeze your chest and honk, ghost his fingers down your sides just to see you squirm. He becomes softer when you two have finished, but he’ll still gently tease you and pepper your face in kisses.
H: Hair (how well groomed are they?)
This man does not shave. He has a full bush, but he isn’t so attached to it that he wouldn’t trim if you asked him to. He doesn’t mind body hair on a partner either. He might joke about ‘exploring the wilderness,’ but it’s all in good fun! He doesn’t want to make you insecure, and he would feel terrible if that comment made you shave it all off.
I: Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)
Usually, your moments together aren’t very romantic—but he’s shockingly good at it when he wants to be. He won’t go the extra mile to set the scene, but he can be soft, sweet, and loving. He usually prefers to praise you anyway, and he can be patient when he wants to be. He loves the way you react when his hands explore your body, and he’s memorized every spot that makes you shiver.
J: Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
It isn’t something he does every day, but it is still quite frequent, and it’s always noisy. Even if he keeps his mouth shut, his shackles will jingle with every pump of his fist. All he needs is some pictures you’ve sent him before and he’ll be ready.
…If you ask, he’ll admit that he tends to overstimulate himself sometimes when he looks at the pictures you send. He just finds you so attractive, he can’t help it!
K: Kink (one or more)
In order from most to least favorite (although he does enjoy all of them):
Praise
-Capsaicin always wants to make sure you know how appreciated you are. Most of the stuff that comes out of his mouth during sex is praise! If you were to keep track, you would count at least a dozen times the word ‘good’ leaves him during your sessions. He babbles about how good you are, how good you feel, how good you’re being and more.
Overstimulation
-He likes being able to make you feel good, and he loves being able to take care of you. He’s spent so long with others fearing him, having his partner put their safety in his hands by letting him overstimulate them always makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He finds it adorable when you’re all fucked-out! He’ll coo praises at you in a sickly-sweet tone, like he’s talking to a puppy rather than his partner.
Sexting
-Capsaicin saves every picture of yourself you send him. When you send him nudes, he gets so excited he could burst! He would, in all seriousness, respond with ‘hooray’ if you send a picture that’s even slightly suggestive. He isn’t the best at taking nudes, but he tries. He’ll whip his cock out to send you a picture showing you how hard you made him, probably with a silly caption attached!
Marking
-Most of Capsaicin’s marking kink is subconscious, but there are some times where he’s clearly doing it on purpose. Whenever a night with you ends with him having scratches down his back, he’ll “forget” to wear his cape the next day.
Size kink
-Capsaicin would love being able to make his chubby partner feel small (as long as they enjoy it too)! He’s a strong guy, and he can sweep you up in his arms or toss you around in bed without issue.
If you get self-conscious often, he’ll make sure your bedroom affairs never make you doubt his attraction to you. He’s great at shooting your insecurities down without sex, but he knows they might be worse in such a vulnerable situation. He enjoys looming over you and pressing his body against yours to drive it home.
Exhibitionism
-Give him a consenting audience, and he’ll gladly fuck you in front of them! He just finds you so attractive, he wants to make others jealous that you’re his partner and not theirs. Kouign-Amann and Prune Juice know this better than anyone else—with your permission, he’ll even show them the nudes you send him to brag about how attractive his significant other is.
L: Location (their favorite place to do the deed)
Anywhere and everywhere, honestly! You two usually keep it in the bedroom, but he will occasionally fuck you in some private areas he knows about in Scovillia or the triple cone cup stadium.
M: Motivation (what turns them on)
This man is always ready to go. Everything you do is attractive to him, but he loves seeing you in his cape! One of your fondest bedroom memories as a couple occurred when you surprised him by wearing nothing but his cape, which he was greatly appreciative of after a long day of training.
N: No (something they won’t do/turn offs)
The triple cone cup may have helped his anxiety, but it didn’t get rid of it. In the back of his mind, Capsaicin still worries about hurting you. Pain play is off the table. He nips sometimes, but he’s always very aware of just how sharp his teeth are. He’s extra cautious with his mouth, even when he gets carried away.
O: Oral
Oh boy.
He loves everything about it. He loves giving and receiving in equal amounts, and he’s a fast learner when it comes to oral.
He will shamelessly beg you to let him do it—like you would say no to such a generous offer! He’ll try his best to be patient and kiss and suck on your thighs, but his teasing never lasts long. You can feel him smiling against you every time, and oral is his favorite way to overstimulate you. He’ll use it to rip orgasm after orgasm out of you until you either pass out or ask him to stop.
If you have a pussy, Capsaicin’s favorite bedroom activity will be eating you out. He will have moments where he genuinely craves the way you taste.
If you have a cock, Capsaicin would’ve started training his gag reflex as soon as he started catching feelings. He loves taking you to the root.
He loves receiving too, but he’s a little more hesitant due to how thick he is. The first few times you tried going down on him was a learning experience for the both of you.
P: Pace
Capsaicin usually defaults to being fast and rough. He has his moments where he can be slow and sweet (you were definitely surprised by how gentle he was during your first time together), but soft sex is usually reserved for special occasions.
Q: Quickie (their opinion, how often etc)
He loves them! It isn’t like his schedule doesn’t allow for long sex, but he’ll take any opportunity he can to make you feel good. Unless you’re in a hurry for some reason, quickies usually don’t change the extensive aftercare he loves to give you.
R: Risk: (are they up to experiment? do they take risks, etc)
In theory, Capsaicin would love to take risks, but reality doesn’t allow for it. He fantasises about being risky by taking you in a more public place, but he has a reputation to uphold. He enjoys being a role model and he would hate for a single mistake to ruin it.
S: Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Capsaicin has a seemingly endless well of stamina. He usually doesn’t stop until you’re getting too exhausted or overstimulated, or if you’re on a time schedule and have to stop for some reason.
T: Toys (do they own/use them? on a partner or themselves?)
You two add them to your bedroom life every once in a while, but they’re usually reserved for special occasions. He prefers doing the work himself, but he won’t say no if you ask him to use them on you. He does enjoy the reactions they manage to get out of you!
U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves teasing you, but as much as he would enjoy edging you for hours and giggling at how desperate you get, he just can’t say no to you! Give him your best puppy-dog eyes and ask him really nicely and he’ll give you whatever you want.
V: Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc)
Loud and shameless. He groans, grunts, and his shackles jingle with every thrust. But more than anything else, he talks. He praises you, tells you how attractive you are and how lucky he feels to have you, he cracks jokes and makes sure to check up on you. He always cums with a long, guttural groan that easily counts as the hottest thing you’ve ever heard.
W: Wild card
If you menstruate, Capsaicin is the perfect form of pain relief. He’s big, warm, comforting, and more than willing to fuck you until you feel better. He’d be so considerate during your time of the month, so gentle…he’d cradle you in his arms and pepper you in soft kisses, praising you every step of the way. It’s impossible to remember the pain when you’re in his arms and he’s pleasing you so gently!
And he’s willing to help you whenever your cycle is bugging you. Period cramps getting too overwhelming? He’s on his way with painkillers and a cock that’s already hard at the thought of helping you. Is your ovulation especially painful? He’ll just make sure to use protection!
X: X-Ray
Length is low-average, but he’s so incredibly thick that he insists on pretty extensive prep whenever penetration is involved.
Y: Yearning (how high is their libido?)
This man is always ready to go. If he wasn’t busy with training and college, he’d never want to leave your bed.
Z: Zzz (how fast they fall asleep after sex)
Unless it’s super late and/or you fall asleep first, he’ll be ready to continue the day soon after you two have sex. Capsaicin tends to tire you out more often than not, so you usually snuggle up to him and fall asleep after sex. With you passed out in his arms, he’ll drift off soon after, but he’ll stay awake without a struggle if you do.
Not every sub wants to be used. That's the assumption people make when they only understand the surface. Some don't want intensity. They want stability. They want someone whose presence quiets the noise in their head. Someone who notices when they're carrying too much before they break under it. Some people don't submit because they're looking for pain. They submit because for the first time in their life, someone makes them feel like they don't have to hold everything together alone. They just want to be held together properly.
“Stop trying to flee from me,” his voice was ragged, having long lost the showmanship he so adored putting forth. Your body seized forward, grasping the sheets of the bed and feeling something deep inside writhing. It hit you in all your most sensitive spots, near massaging into the nerve endings. He was hardly one to forget. Nothing escaped his eyes. And so many were locked onto you.
“Why do you even want to run?” he asked, grasping your hips with his hands. Claws dug into your flesh. “There is no one in this world that sees you as I do,” it was a hiss that left his mouth this time, breath fanning over your ear. “Why were you scared?” His words were punctuated with a particularly rough thrust. You whined. “You're mine,” he reminded you as hands began to travel up the sides of your body. Every crevice and edge was known to him, even with the passage of time and his sealing. You were always to be his.
A cry left you as the tentacle pushed against a spot deep inside. Shadow Milk gave a dangerous chuckle. “What does that light and truth give you, my darling?” he asked, leaning over to gaze into your eyes, “What does he offer you that I don't already provide?” His mismatched eyes narrowed.
He ground against your cervix, the tip of his tentacle dick swirling around the tight entrance. Your eyes went wide. “He can't make you feel like this,” a hand went between your thighs to rub at your clit, “Does he even know about me? About us? That you have the mark of a beast?” You shook your head as electric pleasure coursed through you. He rutted harshly inside and sighed. “My dear little marionette,” he tsk'd his tongue, “How foolish! To lie… And here I thought you were better than that!” His free arm wrapped around your neck to pull you into him. A coil was rapidly building in your abdomen.
“We're not so different, are we?” he whispered before pressing the tip of his dick to massage your cervix again. The leaking mucosa, a potent aphrodisiac. It was soon the coil snapped. You crashed onto the bed, his words swirling in your mind. Kisses were peppered all over your jawline as he gave a few more harsh thrusts before warmth spread inside.
“Don't worry,” he shifted the position so you both laid on your sides. The jester pressed your face into his nape. “I'll introduce you to my world,” he promised so tenderly, “You'll never stray from me again.”
It felt easier to just give in than to keep fighting for the truth.
Especially after seeing your dear king fall just as you did.
ok mango so hear me out: Millennial tree cookie NSFT headcanons. there's not enough content of this beautiful cookie and i really love the way you write!
Aww thanks so much!! <3 and fr, Millennial Tree is one of my fav Cookies and there's not enough stuff with him!!
🔥🔞 [Millennial Tree Cookie NSFT HCs]
Like a lot of Legendary Cookies, Millennial Tree Cookie is larger than most Cookies. Because of the size difference, he often likes to have you on his lap when lovemaking. Also he likes to see how cute you look too
Sometimes when the sex is particularly passionate (which is often) his horns will grow flowers during his climax, and you'll end up with flower petals sprinkled all over you by the end, which Millennial Tree thinks makes you look even more enticing.
He's a caring and gentle lover. Will take care of you well in the bedroom and will often start sessions out with eating you out/sucking you off until you cum before he moves on to penetration.
He's got LOTS of stamina, so he's willing to pleasure you for as long as you can take it. Or until you pass out.
Millennial Tree Cookie is very romantic. He will kiss every inch of you while whispering how precious you are to him.
His cum is thicker and a little sticker than average
Millennial Tree loves giving praise. He will praise you so sweetly, saying how good you are for taking him and how well you're doing
Likes to take his time during sex, he's into slow romantic lovemaking and making sure you're completely satisfied
You can make Millennial Tree fuck you harder by suggesting the mating press position and tugging his long air gently once he gets going. Then he'll start fucking you hard. He really likes having his hair pulled.
He's not into physically harming you during sex (ei: impact play, choking, ect) He doesn't want to cause you any pain whatsoever!
One thing he will allow however, is some light bondage. Millennial Tree will be very hesitant to the idea at first, but you'll be able to convince him to try it once you have a safe word in place, just in case. He will use roots and vines to tie you up, and once he see's you like that he can't help but be turned on by it.
Soon your hands being held down by tree roots, and vines wrapped around your body, gently caressing and squeezing you while Millennial Tree eats you out/sucks you off will become a commen occurrence.
(This one might be a little silly lol) If you're a regular Cookie, I can imagine having Millennial Tree Cookie cum inside you will actually extend your lifespan due to the residual life magic. But hey, that only means you can stay by his side for much longer <3
Is a king of aftercare. Anything you want, he will do it. Millennial Tree Cookie will bring you healthy snacks, drinks, heating pads, or damp towels to assist with clean up. Want a massage? He'll do that too! No need to walk either (if you still can after), he will carry you! Not to mention a lot of cuddles and praise afterwards.
Though he likes to take care of you during sex and is perfectly happy topping, he's more of a switch.
If you want to top he'll happily let you. Tugging on his hair or horns when you're fucking him from behind will make him melt
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