Be frog, do crime

I am a frog

[crime-committing-frog]

committing crime is sexy~~✨ don’t forget to be sexy today

[stinkypete74]

[crime-committing-frog]

your puns are disgusting and reading this aloud to my hostage sent them into immediate cardiac arrest......please join me in my voyage to committe crimes across the globe.......we will be un-krill-able

[darksouls2yuri]

ATTENTION EVERYONE MY SHRIMP IS PREGNANT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[crime-committing-frog]

FINALLY!!!!!! SOME WORTHY MINIONS SHALL BE UPON US SOON!!! I SHALL TRAIN THEM IN THE WAYS OF PRIME-OPTIMAL-DELICIOUS-TEARJERKING CRIMEEEEEE!1!!!!111!!!1!!1

[darksouls2yuri]

damn can i help you or something

[crime-committing-frog]

i am frog. i do crime. crime needs new ppl. do not doubt me or your new companions……farewell

[darksouls2yuri]

ATTENTION EVERYONE MY SHRIMP IS PREGNANT‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[crime-committing-frog]

FINALLY!!!!!! SOME WORTHY MINIONS SHALL BE UPON US SOON!!! I SHALL TRAIN THEM IN THE WAYS OF PRIME-OPTIMAL-DELICIOUS-TEARJERKING CRIMEEEEEE!1!!!!111!!!1!!1

[crime-committing-frog]

is anyone free this Tuesday?? i have an unfortunate rat infestation that i need to get whacked,, if ya know what i mean

[crime-committing-frog]

Hi my lovely little freaks (; sorry for the impromptu hiatus, i had to go into hiding due to a little....mishap in the Family Business *wink wink* *cough cough* if you know what I mean *cough cough*

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Thomas the Tank Engine was a war criminal.

[crime-committing-frog]

That wasn’t a dream, me and Tommy boy are close friends and you’d be surprised what kinda things he likes to do when the cameras aren’t rolling

[smoreboi]

Forget the sleeping with socks on debate, can you sleep with shoes on?

Yes, No Matter Circumstances

Yes, But Only Specific Pairs of Shoes

Yes, But Only When I Don’t Have The Energy To Remove The Shoes

No, For Cleanliness Reasons

No, For Sensation Reasons

Yes, Under Other Circumstances (specify)

No, For Other Reasons (specify)

I Don’t Sleep ( just wanna see results)

I Dont Wear Shoes (just wanna see results)

Voting ended onJun 10, 2023

[crime-committing-frog]

I have personally slept in Zendayas left shoe for a week

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

i’ve been trying to figure out how to bribe a Supreme Court justice but all I’ve got is a fat cock and two big balls. maybe they take credit?

[crime-committing-frog]

If you threaten to perform the ball cutting off surgery on them, they usually fold like books

[i-am-a-fish]

drink water

wipe your ass

be nice to the person who scans your groceries at the grocery store

inconvenience the government

[crime-committing-frog]

Welp folks, i have validation and permission from the all mighty @i-am-a-fish to ‘inconvenience’ the Gov!!! You know what I’m going to do!!!

Join me in my quest to set fire to Ron DeSantis’ living room and then deface all government signs

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @cattodoameow

there's always tomorrow

text: I haven't bitten a billionaire... yet!

[crime-committing-frog]

I took a chomp out of Jeff Bezos last Tuesday,, he a tasted like trash and greed and baldness. Not a good combo

[crime-committing-frog]

Happy gay month!!! Ur legally obligated to be queer,,, sorry I don’t make the rules, I just follow them

[crime-committing-frog]

Hi my little babies 🫶🏻🐸. just a reminder that I love you, the stars love you, and the bog monster has left his bog and is now creeping into your room to eat your eyes, well, he loves you too

[ur-littlestgirl]

When ur cute moots like/rb ur content like yes that is nice but I would prefer a kiss on the lips pls

[crime-committing-frog]

Gib me kith, n o w

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @anonforlackofabettername

well the replies on this are gonna be incomprehensible

text: If left unattended I will commit emoji crimes

[crime-committing-frog]

🔫🐸💅🏼✨

[crime-committing-frog]

to the boy who said I was an “emotional idiot with no real talents”, you better hope your walls are steel-reinforced concrete and not dry wall…..

……because I’m outside rn and ready to f u c k s h i t u p

[spicymochi]

flower frog

[crime-committing-frog]

Yooooooooo!!!! Hey girlieeeeee !!! Finally outta the slammer I see