she's a fighter.

"Having something and losing it is much crueler than never having had it at all."

[crimson-blooded]

dauntlesslockwood·:

It wasn’t much of a kick, all things considered, but there were two things that made it harsh enough to drag his sorry ass back from the moonstruck brink. One, he sure as hell hadn’t been expecting someone to kick at a wolf twice the size of the average dog, and two? She kicked a hell of a lot harder than he had expected. A forced shift, he discovered a moment later, hurt a hell of a lot more than he had expected. It took him a solid two minutes of wheezing before he could even force himself to look up at her, fur gone and his body as human as it was like to get on any occasion. “What in the fuck…” Meyer rasped, narrowing his dark blue eyes at the woman as he shoved himself to his feet. “Is wrong with you? You got knife feet or somethin’? Jesus Christ.” Nevermind the fact that he had shifted from wolf to human in front of a relative stranger, the pain was foremost in his mind at the moment. The rest of it could wait.

Leah was prepared to kick the wolf again, even had her leg drawn back, but then it changed, shifted, and she stumbled backward a step or two in surprise. The wolf was undoubtedly scarier than the man it had turned into, but she had not been expecting it. As her eyes rolled back, though, she caught sight of the brilliant, glowing full moon and had to laugh. What else was she supposed to do? It was the sort of thing she read about in fairy tales, the kinds of stories parents told rowdy children to keep them inside on nights like this. She was hallucinating, clearly. Or high. That was always a possibility. Lifting a shaky hand to cover her eyes for a moment, Leah blinked long and hard enough that she saw white spots beneath her eyelids. When she opened them again, the same scruffy, naked man was in front of her, though he’d gotten to his feet. This time, she took a step forward, though she pointedly kept her eyes on his. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re...” She couldn’t say it. It seemed so stupid. So she continued with- “...you’re the one who jumped out of nowhere! You’re lucky I don’t open carry!” 

[crimson-blooded]

funfor-foxsake·:

Emilia leaned against the bars of the cell and squeezed her face partly through them, peering at the apparently hungover girl. Her clothes were slowly starting to dry off. Not wet, but entirely dry, but just a tad bit damp. It seemed her hair held more water than fabric did. If only she could change out of this. The combination of water and whatever rust collected on the metal beams made for an offensive smell and touch on her clothes.

“With what, a dart?” Emilia asked, amused by the image she made for herself. Imagine that, someone throwing a dart right into somebody’s eye. She was tempted to make a joke, but she wasn’t sure if the other girl would receive it well, so she refrained from telling it. 

“First time getting caught, if that’s what your asking.” Evidently, it made her sound more badass than she actually was, if you were talking about the sort of ‘badassery’ that resulted in fist fights in underground rings, rather than simple daredevil type stunts that hurt no one but the performer. 

“Maybe,” Leah replied nonchalantly. It was better to be vague, probably. She lifted a hand up to block out the light instead, examining the chipped black paint on the nails, and made a mental note to redo them later. She was only half listening to Emilia, half dreaming about what she was going to eat once she got out of here. Her stomach was grumbling, despite the pulsing headache. “You know,” she said conversationally, letting her arm drop back across her stomach. “If you’d just gone skinny dipping, you wouldn’t have that drowned rat problem.” Definitely a first-timer. Cute. 

[miamariecastello-blog]

3:15 || Mia & Leah

[crimson-blooded]

miamariecastello·:

Mia had somehow managed to fall asleep on the couch, something she knew she would be sorry about the next morning, yet something she was a little grateful for at the moment. If she’d never fallen asleep downstairs, she never would have woken up at 3:15 when Leah walked through the door…she wouldn’t have even known that Leah had been out late when she woke her up the next morning to go to the gym with her. So, while not under the best circumstances, Mia was glad to have caught her daughter.

“Where exactly have you been?” Mia yawned, slowly sitting herself up on the couch. “And what kind of time is this?”

@crimson-blooded

Leah had done this so many times before that she was on autopilot. On the porch, she toed off her sneakers to keep them from giving her away. She was sure to keep the hall lights off. And she was going to skip that second step from the bottom, because it squeaked with even the lightest pressure. But, normally, her moms were tucked away in bed. And if it wasn’t for one of them being asleep on the couch, she would’ve gotten away with it, too. Leah’s hair was tied back in a messy bun and she was dressed in workout gear. There was a small cut on her cheek, though it was nothing a little makeup couldn’t hide in the morning. She absently tucked her still-bandaged hands into the pouch pocket of her hoodie, shoulders rolling in an automatic shrug. “I closed at work tonight,” she said carefully. Not a lie. “And then went out with Marie after.” Not totally a lie; she’d walked her co-worker to her bus stop before veering off to her fight, but she certainly wasn’t going to admit to that. She reached up to undo her hair, letting it fall messily and masking the cut. “Don’t worry. I’ll still be up for the gym.” 

[crimson-blooded]

dauntlesslockwood·:

When the memories came, creeping into the edges of his mind like so much smoke, that had been one thing. He almost could write that off, for a time. Teeth on skin, claws tearing into flesh, even the memory of a killing he knew to be his own and yet not so, that was workable. The shift wasn’t. At the very least, he had already been walking in the woods at the time it ripped through him the first time, drawn there by a mixture of insomnia and an urge he couldn’t quite name once the moon rose full in the sky. That first time had been rough as could be, torn clothing and all once he woke in a pile underneath a tree, but not now.

Now he had plans, he was trying to pen in these shifts like he organized most other things in his life, because if you could do that…well, it was manageable. Tamed. Once he had a fuller grasp on this himself he could figure out what he was going to do with the situation where it pertained to his family. Even Julian hadn’t been told what was happening yet, and he liked it that way. It was safer.

There were specific times and places he thought worked best, though his mind was both his and not during his sojourns. Out deep in the woods, late evening if he could manage it with his schedule and the way the moon pulled at some hidden skin beneath his own skin as soon as the sun slid below the horizon. It was earlier than usual this time, and he had a feeling even as he let the change take over that something was going to fuck up somewhere along the line. Something smelled like…he wasn’t sure. Not wolf, but clearly girl, or something in between. Her words didn’t quite make sense in his brain, and he raised his hackles, red eyes flashing as his lips curled in a snarl. Get the fucking message, the human spark left in his brain yelled at itself, though she obviously couldn’t read his thoughts. Turn the hell around.

As soon as the wolf turned its (eerie, glowing?) red eyes towards her, Leah had made a split-second decision. High school biology class had told her that every animal had a fight-or-flight response. Experience had told her that her own was broken. When faced with absolutely anything, Leah Castello-Kapstein would fight, even when it made a hell of a lot more sense to run. Any creature with half a working brain cell would take one look at the growling wolf in front of her and turn the other way. Leah, though? Leah took three quick strides forward, drew her right leg back, and aimed a kick at the wolf’s ribs with as much power behind it as she could muster. 

Why? Because of the broken fight-or-flight response, obviously. 

[lyriceditsdaily]

the good, the bad and the dirty • panic! at the disco

[crimson-blooded]

@dauntlesslockwood

Something was happening.

She was always on edge, lately, and she was always chasing some kind of adrenaline high. She’d found it all of once, when she’d punched someone so hard she’d sworn she’d broken her hand. The only other thing that came close was the runner’s high. This was really more of her sister’s thing; Leah had never been one for team sports or voluntary recreation, but if she pushed herself hard enough, if she ran far and fast enough, if her muscles began to ache and her vision clouded with sweat, she’d feel that high, too. And it was better than any drug she’d ever tried.

(So maybe Sabrina was right. But Leah wasn’t going to tell her that.)

It was probably partly because she was trying to maintain that image that she was running along a forest path instead of in the neighborhood. It was also because it was quiet out here, and that meant there was less of a chance of running into someone. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t run into something. 

She’d bent down to tie up a loose shoelace when she saw it. At first, she thought it was just a stray dog that’d leaped into her way, but it was way too big for that. And its teeth were sharper, paws larger, eyes weirdly colored. “What the fuck,” she whispered, more to herself than to the animal. It wasn’t going to talk back, obviously. 

[crimson-blooded]

dauntlesslockwood·:

It was, but did he particularly care? Nah. He wasn’t going to ask her to do jumping jacks or pour him a drink, just a couple of questions, and hell, she wouldn’t even have to let her coffee cool too much for that. “It’s also real rude to dodge your bench warrant though, so I’m thinkin’ we’re gonna have to duke it out to see who wins.” Meyer pointed out, sliding onto the second stool to the left of her. “You can take it up with Lenny Briggs too, if anybody can find the son of a bitch.” His badge he pulled out of the inner pocket of his jacket, flashed at her once, and returned in one smooth gesture. “’Course, if he’s been hanging around here I’d like to talk to you about it. If that don’t ruin your coffee. Real tragedy, right there.” The smile on his face indicated the coffee had more of his sympathy in this situation, but if she worked with him, that’d change.

Normally, somebody flashing a badge at her would be a cause for concern, and, at first, her body reacted instinctively. Her muscles tensed, her spine stiffened, and her mouth got very, very dry. Leah’s gaze flicked towards both the front door of the cafe and the windows, like she was going to try and make a run for it with a detective right in front of her. But then her brain caught up with Meyer’s words and, all at once, she relaxed, sort of slumping in on herself and wrapping her hands around the still warm coffee mug. “Americano and a blueberry muffin. That’s how you lure him in,” she said with a half-grin and a shrug. “You can ask. Can’t promise I have any answers.” 

[thecopyleftist]

“It looked like an attack.” –Thoroughbreds (2017)

[crimson-blooded]

lyra-eaton‌:

Lyra was heading towards an empty table, her usual moccha and a muffin in hand, when she spotted a familiar face drinking by herself. “Damn it” she huffed at the girl’s words, pretending to be dissapointed. “I guess I’m getting bad at being sneaky. Gonna have to be careful with my shadow next time” she grinned, placing her food on the table. “Just thought I’d keep you company, in case you’re having a bad day?”

“Were you ever good?” Leah wondered, using her foot to kick out the chair across from her and making room for Lyra’s food on the table by clearing the paper out of the way. “Every day I spend here is a bad one. Did you know Mr. Layton stop by special whenever he knows I’m working?” Leah’s nose wrinkled. “And also, we’re out of dark roast.”

[crimson-blooded]

funfor-foxsake·:

Emilia watched the girl push herself up into a sitting position before apparently deciding she’d much prefer to lie half-awake on the hard bench inside the cell. God, what happened to her? It could have just been a case of her being here overnight and being somewhat groggy, but by the raspiness of her voice, Emilia was inclined to guess that something else had happened. Smoked a lot of cigarettes, probably, she thought. In her head, she wondered if the girl really had picked up the habit, and if so, why. Emilia had tried it once. Well, she kissed someone who had tried it, and their mouth tasted like ash.

Emilia held the loose part of her ponytail up sideways and wrung it out like a damp towel. “You wouldn’t be far off,” she said. “I was in a pool when they got me. Didn’t even have the decency to let me dry off. Bastards.”

She stood up, took the front of her shirt and twisted it, water dripping just before her feet. “Oh?” she asked, letting her shirt drop back down. “Is that what happened?” She could tell from the girl’s weird grin that it was (most likely) a joke, and part of her wanted to play along with her weird sense of humor. Might as well, she thought, not much else to do in this cell.

“So,” Emilia said, putting her hands on her hips. “How’d you do it?”

Leah didn’t bother to lift her head to look at the other as she settled into her holding cell. If she was lucky, she wouldn’t be here long enough to get to know the newly arrested girl. It had to have been enough time for them to cut her loose soon, right? They weren’t even really charging her with anything; they’d only wanted her to sleep it off. A sneakered foot tapped against the bench, a forgotten beat. A sigh fell from her lips. She’d kind of hoped the other person would decide that talking to someone who either killed or joked about killing was not a great idea, but evidently not.  

Blinking up at the cracked ceiling, Leah considered the question. It wasn’t something she’d really thought through, and not something she ever planned on doing, but the answer came easily anyway. “Hit him right here.” She tapped her closed eyes with a couple of fingertips. Bullseye. It wasn’t even 100% a lie, which probably made it sound more like the truth. Leah turned her head just enough to look across the corridor. “First time?” She joked, a cheshire grin curling her lips. She could always tell.

[crimson-blooded]

leecaskap·:

Lee was on his way home from another day at school, taking the same route through the town square he always did. Though as he glanced to his right, he spotted Leah from outside the tall glass windows of the cafe. Usually he would continue on his way but once he saw that she sat at a booth instead of standing behind the counter, he decided to pay her a short visit. When he arrived behind her, her comment didn’t surprise him. His lips pursed into a tight smile. He tossed his backpack onto the table and allowed himself to fall onto the seat across from her.

“Just checking to see if you were reading the cartoons,” Lee said half-jokingly. 

He was probably one of a handful of people she wouldn’t have been annoyed to see take the seat across from her. Grinning from over the rim of her coffee mug, Leah slid the paper forward to reveal the comic section. “You know how I feel about Garfield. He just gets me.” For a moment, her attention shifted back to the cartoons splayed out in front of her. The silence was comfortable, though, and she didn’t mind it. She only broke it to say “I only took my coffee, so if you want something from the bakery, take it.” 

[crimson-blooded]

itheautodidact·:

Lunch break had just began, but unfortunately for Julian he was still full from an overly large breakfast and now had an hour to spare. He had planned to grab a muffin and some tea for himself and Allison and head over to the library to check on his daughter, but when he saw Leah he decided that it couldn’t hurt to say hello. “Sorry” he muttered, moving out of her light so that she could continue to read her paper, “I wanted to say hello and ask you how your day was going”

Brown eyes flicked from the words on the page to the person speaking and back again once Leah realized that the person who’d interrupted her daily scanning of the job listings was Julian. Tucking a leg beneath her and leaning her elbows on the table, she answered without bothering to look up again. “Well, I’m here, so you can guess how well it’s going,” she said with a lazy shrug of the shoulders. “Grilled cheese and tomato soup’s on, if you’re wondering,” she added in a more chipper, falsely sweet tone. The customer service voice, which she’d never quite perfected.

[crimson-blooded]

maddoxbl·:

“If I wait ten minutes then you’re stuck with me for ten minutes,” he said, plopping on the seat next to her and ultimately not giving her a choice. He remembered her name from the years months of coming to the coffee shop, so even though she was still wearing her uniform he didn’t need to check. “Leah, are you the grammar police? I worked on him yesterday. He looks rather lively in the photo, but yesterday he was grey and–” he made an ugly, distorted face with his tongue sticking out and his eyes half-opened and crossed. “Just kidding. He looked better than that. Somewhere between my face and that photo there.”.

That wasn’t exactly what she’d expected. Leah shifted in her seat to make room, though not without grumbling under her breath. “Oh, yeah, you’re under arrest,” she replied with an earnest nod, as if she had any right to arrest anyone. She couldn’t help but chuckle at his imitation, though, and she found herself giving him a sidelong glance. “You know,” she said, resting her elbows on the table and leaning a cheek against a fist. “You can just go back and get it yourself. It’s the machine on the far left. You’ve seen me make it enough times by now, right?” 

[crimson-blooded]

maddoxbl·:

“Shit, I didn’t know you were on break,” he commented to the girl who he saw maybe four days a week. “Tell me, is that Gertrude going to make my coffee right, or will she flub it? I can only trust you I think,” he said. “Oh! I know him!” He leaned near the girl, the closest he had ever been since usually they were across the counter. He pointed to the obituary section of her paper, not even realizing that it was odd for a youngster her age to be more interested in an old-fashioned newspaper than her smartphone, and was also unaware that she would probably be confused. “That’s a good photo of him.”

Folding the paper flat on the tabletop in front of her, Leah leveled Maddox with a stare and raised a single eyebrow. “Gertie’s an idiot, so you might wanna wait ten minutes.” She picked the newspaper up again, gaze flicking along the obituaries absently. It was a strange habit, probably, considering she was so young when she’d been dumped into foster care, but she always kind of assumed that if one of her parents turned up dead, she’d recognize their name or their face or...something (so far, she hadn’t). Tilting her head slightly, Leah scoffed under her breath. “You knew him. Unless you’re a medium now.” 

[lizzieforbes]

[crimson-blooded]

There were many things Leah hated about her job, but the top three were definitely customers that hit on her without her ever initiating the flirtation, customers who stole from the tip jar, and customers who threw up in the bathroom. But she liked the fact that she got one free drink per shift, and she was just settling down to enjoy her coffee (black) when someone’s shadow creeped onto the newspaper she’d been trying to read. “You know,” she said, pausing to take a long sip from her mug. “It’s rude to read over somebody’s shoulder.” 

[hath-irene-not-eyes-deactivated]

@crimson-blooded​

How the hell did I end up in here, Emilia thought, looking at the gray cell walls around her. All this for going into a neighborhood pool. Well, not a neighborhood pool, but it belonged to someone in the neighborhood, and that someone wasn’t at home, so Emilia had thought it was fair game. She didn’t even have time to change out of her wet clothes before the town police decided to bring her here. Hell, she didn’t have enough warning to leave before she was caught. Stupid mistake, Emilia thought, leaning against the wall, rookie mistake, even. You’re better than this.

She looked over to the cell across the hall, which now housed a cranky looking girl about her age.

“What are you looking at?” Emilia asked, retying her wet hair up into a neater ponytail. “And what are you in here for?”

[crimson-blooded]

She was asleep. Or she had been, until the sound of one of the officer's keys jangling pulled her out of it. Leah could feel a headache building beneath her eyes. Maybe the alcohol had worn off too quickly and she needed another drink. The gooseegg blossoming beneath her hair told another story; she'd smacked it off of the top of the bar when she'd dived down to grab the change she'd dropped earlier in the evening. But she didn’t remember much of anything after that last shot, except that Billy Peters definitely owed her money because she'd beaten him at darts. Grumbling and pulling herself to a crumpled, but technically upright, position on her bench, Leah settled the other with a long stare. She blinked slowly, still trying to force the sleep out of her eyes and allow her vision to focus. She pursed her lips, then wet them with her tongue, and promply sprawled back across the bench, one arm pillowed beneath her head and the other thrown haphazardly across her eyes to block out the harsh, flourescent light of the station. "By the looks of it," she said, voice raspy from booze or lack of use or both. "A wet dog." Her shoulders rolled in half a shrug as Leah stretched a leg along the length of the bench. A wry smirk curled her lips. "I killed a guy," she said nonchalantly. It was far from true. Public intoxication was hardly murder, but she had killed Billy at darts.