Wildness Before Something Sublime Leila Chatti

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@lhnakao
Wildness Before Something Sublime Leila Chatti
I’m in my feelings tonight, so another entry into the void.
I am actually having a difficult time with this.
I have so many questions.
Is it me?
Was I being too guarded?
Is it timing?
I mean, he is reflecting on his past and figuring out what he really wants. I can respect that.
He has always had someone. Maybe he never really figured out who he is outside of that.
Funny, because I am the person who is the antithesis to that.
I validated what he was feeling because of how I described my own experience, never really being in a serious relationship.
Well. It still fucking sucks to have in writing that the dynamic is more of a friendship. Not that I really disagree with that.
I don't think either of us really gave it a chance either.
He may also have this version of me in his head that I did not live up to.
I just have all these thoughts in my brain.
I actually liked texting him, and talking to him. He didn't play any stupid games. He messaged when he wanted to, always responsive.
He was very open and honest.
Push.
Pull.
Will they?
Won't they?
Typical banal trope
From the outside.
Inside?
Unsettling.
Disorienting.
The arriving calm
Settle.
Ground yourself.
You are safe.
Feel.
Understand.
What happened
Why?
You will get there.
Maybe not now
Not tomorrow
One day.
Friendzoned lol
Honestly, I don’t even know how I feel about him so it’s probably best.
I may have pulled the trigger if he didn’t.
Dating sucks.
He is a good guy. I don’t think it really worked though. Which is fine. He probably needed more than I could give him. Also he never made a move. He did not want to for whatever reason. Being careful of not moving too fast because of his past, no doubt.
Rare dude that actually communicates well and it’s not it. Just wonderful.
It did make me realize that it is possible for me to feel safe around a guy. That there are people who are actually responsive. That there are people out there I could connect with.
I can say I tried the online thing and it’s not for me. My nervous system can deal lol.
“can't wait to go home, i have a lot to do”
me as soon as I get home:
The Myth of “Fans Killing Shows”: Here’s the thing I fundamentally disagree with. It wasn’t the fans who “killed the shows.” It was the writers who killed it.
I came across this Tumblr post and here's why people blaming the fans for the writers fatal flaw is just wrong.
And now I'll get to the most unpopular opinion I've ever shared online - fully aware that what I've already said very few people on here would agree with: I don't think it's Rob Thomas who killed the show with his ill-adviced decision, it's the fans who did that. Not that they are not aware of it, but they still refuse to take the blame for it, as if there could not have been any other reaction. And clearly they don't regret it. After they paid to bring Veronica Mars back once before. They collectively decided that season 4 was a crime against the fandom and that it never happened. Therefore making it impossible for anyone who did not feel the same way to get more content and have some closure. I know I don't get to be mad about that, but it is sad. And I've been on the other side of this a few times and stopped watching a show after a certain point, but that never triggered a cancellation. I've seen favorite characters killed off many times without it ever leading to a fandom turning hostile like that, sometimes even ripping everything else apart about the show. And it's not even like Veronica Mars was a cosy show where people didn't die. It was neo noir. It started out with her solving the murder of her best friend ffs. So, how did this happen? How did one character's death kill the show? Was it because he was the main love interest over more than a decade? Why does it now feel like he was more important than the protagonist? Or was it maybe because the fans campaigned for it's return and even funded the movie? Was it because they felt more invested in a way and later betrayed although they did not pay for the last season to get made?
I know this take circulates a lot: “The fans killed Veronica Mars. If they hadn’t reacted so strongly to Season 4, we’d have gotten more.”
But after watching this happen over and over, across shows I love, shows that shaped me, shows that built entirely new corners of fandom culture. I just don’t buy it.
Fans aren’t killing shows. Writers are breaking the emotional contract, torching the narrative spine, and then blaming the audience for the smoke.
And if Veronica Mars were the only example, maybe we could write it off. But this specific heartbreak, this implosion of trust, has now happened on too many shows, in too many fandoms, with too similar a pattern to chalk up to “one overreacting audience.”
It didn’t start with Season 4. It didn’t start with Logan Echolls. And it didn’t end there.
It’s The Handmaid’s Tale. It’s Game of Thrones. It’s The 100. And on and on.
This is a cultural pattern. A breaking point between audiences and creators, and VM is just the case study where people still argue about who struck the match.
The pattern is the same every time: the writers kill the relationship they spent years telling us mattered most.
This is the part critics pretend not to understand.
Fandom doesn’t melt down because a character dies. Characters die constantly in television, and people grieve them, yell about them, move on. They melt down when a character dies in a way that breaks the story’s thesis. Let's take a deeper look:
Veronica Mars: Logan Echolls
Years of storytelling, marketing, PR, revival hype, and arc-building told us:
Logan is Veronica’s person. He’s the love story that grows with her. This relationship is the heart of the show.
Season 4 then kills him in the last 90 seconds as a plot device. Not a turning point, not a thematic evolution, just a twist that contradicts everything the show told us about her healing.
The Handmaid’s Tale: Nick Blaine
Four seasons of narrative work (and two books) told us:
Nick is June’s equal, mirror, moral counterweight, and match. Their love is radical, raw, complicated, feminist, and central.
Then Seasons 5 and 6 decide:
Actually, punish him. Actually, flatten him. Actually, the story is about motherhood, not womanhood or desire. Actually, June belongs with the safe man.
That isn’t a character arc. That’s an ideological pivot.
Game of Thrones: Daenerys Targaryen
Eight seasons told us:
Daenerys is the heart of the myth. She breaks chains. She frees people. She’s the emotional and moral center of the show’s grand design.
The final three episodes say:
Forget that. She snaps because… trauma? lineage? vibes? The woman who liberated millions is actually a tyrant.
A series that built itself on emotional logic ends on plot logic. The single most disorienting pivot a story can make.
When the ending contradicts what the story was, fans don’t feel shocked. They feel gaslit.
Killing the love interest isn’t the issue. Killing the thesis is.
This is the part nobody wants to talk about, because it forces a reckoning with the power and legitimacy of fandom interpretation.
Logan wasn’t just Veronica’s boyfriend. Nick wasn’t just June’s romantic partner. Daenerys wasn’t just another lead.
These characters were:
thematic mirrors
emotional anchors
narrative engines
symbolic structures
the emotional grammar of the show
and the embodiment of the protagonist’s arc
You don’t just rip those out. Not without re-breaking everything around them. It’s like pulling the keystone from a bridge and then blaming drivers for falling into the river.
Why does this keep happening? Because TV writers mistake cynicism for prestige.
This is the actual disease that keeps killing fan-beloved shows:
Prestige = tragedy
Prestige = subversion
Prestige = women alone
Prestige = punishing love
Prestige = nihilism masquerading as maturity
It’s a worldview that sees romance arcs, emotional continuity, loyal love interests, or morally gray partners as “cheap,” “fan service,” or “too soapy.” And because of that mindset, writers keep doing one of two things:
1. They kill the love interest to seem edgy or surprising.
2. They rewrite the protagonist or their partner beyond recognition.
And sometimes both. Either way, the show loses the very thing that made it groundbreaking. The fans didn’t kill Veronica Mars. They mourned what the creator killed first. If a fandom was powerful enough to:
campaign for a return
fund a movie
keep the discourse alive for a decade
pull the show into the 2010s streaming era
…then maybe, just maybe, they had a point about the story’s emotional core.
People didn’t walk away because Logan died. They walked away because his death dismantled the show’s moral vocabulary.
Just like:
People walked away from The Handmaid’s Tale, especially 6x10, because they dismantled the show’s feminist thesis and punished the very arc they built around love, agency, and liberation. (Ahem Hulu's TT because I will be shocked if it's not heading for a similar exit.)
People walked away from Game of Thrones because the finale dismantled eight years of character logic and replaced it with plot convenience.
This isn’t “toxicity.” This is narrative literacy.
Fans understood the assignment better than the people writing the final chapters. The truth is this: fans don’t kill shows. Shows kill themselves when they decide the audience was wrong about what mattered.
And here's the irony that never gets talked about: Writers taught us what mattered.
They built these love stories. They crafted these arcs. They centered these relationships. They marketed these dynamics. They put these characters in promos, posters, finales, interviews, season-long narratives. They told us these bonds mattered.
So when they then turn around and say:
Actually, wrong. Actually, silly of you to care. Actually, this was never the point.
Of course people walk.
It’s not immaturity. It’s not entitlement. It’s not “fandom killing the show.”
It’s the audience refusing to be told that the story they meaningfully engaged with for years was a mistake.
sometimes you need to stop seeing the good in people and start seeing what they show you.
˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧˚
"A marriage ending isn't a failure at all. I spent eleven years with her. We were so in love that we couldn't image life apart from each other. We got our own place, adopted a dog, and supported each other through school. I thought if tow people loved each other enough the rest would fall into place, except... love isn't everything.
And I didn't want to believe that, but we were sitting in counseling one day, talking about our future and I realized we were describing two completely different lives. Where we'd live, what kind of life we wanted, what made us happy. And it hit me that- I love this woman and this woman loved me. And after eleven years of loss, grief, career changes, we were so deeply in love... but we weren't aligned. And I kept thinking 'We just need to try harder. We can find some compromise to make this work,' because that's what you're supposed to do when you love someone, right?
But the reality was, we had just become different people. Her trade school took her in one direction, my graduate degree in another and trying to force us back into who we were five years ago wasn't coming from a place of love. It was coming from a place of fear. Fear that, if this ended, it meant we wasted eleven years. But sitting there across from her, I realized: That's not how love works.
Those eleven years happened. They were real. The dog, our home, showing up for each other through grad school and trade school. I wouldn't change a single thing because loving someone doesn't mean you're meant to stay with them forever. And letting go doesn't erase what you had. We measure marriage by whether it lasts forever or not, but what if we measured it by whether it mattered?
What if we measured it by the love we gave, the life we built, and the people we became? Because love's job isn't to last forever, it's to help you become fully completely yourself, and sometimes the most loving thing you can do is give each other permission to be yourselves, separately. But the dog doesn't know were' divorced. He just gets two Christmases now."
Pulled this from this guy Preston Rakovsky's Instagram (@prestonrack) because it is a beautiful perspective on love, marriage, and relationships in general.
This too shall pass but like holy fuck
every day I learn bot comments on ao3 are stooping lower and lower
anyway if you get a comment like this, chances are that they are bot and their goal is to do whatever it takes to get you to delete your work, most certainly (from what I’ve heard) it’s because they want to “safely” steal your work, use it to train their ai without you being able to rightfully claim ownership of your work since “there’s no proof that the work was stolen/was posted elsewhere first by you” because the original source has already been deleted.
THEY ARE ALL BOTS. at first it was “ao3 is deleting fics and your entire account will be affected unless you delete the fics yourself” then it was “this work contains contents that are illegal and they have already reported you and your fic to the police” (yes, that’s how desperate these bots are), and now it’s this.
report their comments to ao3 for spam—in this case, specifically, I think you may be able to report them for harassment too—and don’t pay attention to them, most importantly don’t delete your works, don’t feel discouraged by their comments. remember that they are bots and they mass comment something like this on people’s works at random to get people to delete their works. (or even if they’re not bot, they are still pathetic bullies who don’t deserve your time or attention.)
MORE ABOUT BOTS AND SCAMS PLAGUING AO3’S COMMENTS SECTION HERE
12/11/2025 KOSA UPDATE
KOSA and the other age-verification bills we've been watching have been passed out of their subcommittee in the House and are now before the full House Energy and Commerce Committee. NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE A DOOMER OR PANIC. Why? Because KOSA and these other bills were passed along party lines and with only a slim majority. THAT MEANS OUR OPPOSITION IS WORKING, not only that, but we know that no matter how much they tout these bills as being popular and bipartisan, there is a clear divide amongst them, and they DO NOT all agree with these bills. Now, it's up to us to continue our opposition by calling, emailing, and faxing, so we don't lose the momentum we've gained this week. Not only should we be consistently acting between now and next week, but we should also be reaching out to others, on and offline, to build and maintain this movement.
I believe we're at a good place, given that lawmakers disagree with and dislike these bills, and we made a lot of noise this week. WE MUST KEEP UP OUR OPPOSITION. Even if you're not hearing much news or things seem slow, call, email, or fax.
Use your energy for opposition. If you're angry, contact representatives and spread the word. If you're scared, contact representatives and spread the word. If you're panicked, contact representatives and spread the word. When I feel all those things, that's what I do to ensure I'm doing my part in helping to stop these bills. You should too.
Thanks to everyone who is making their voices heard. Let's keep making this process difficult for them BECAUSE CALLING MAKES A HUGE DIFFERENCE.
P.S. When you're calling also mention how you support/want to keep Section 230 as it is written. And I'll probably have more as we hear more.
Linking resources:
KOSA is a censorship bill that won’t make kids safe. Instead, it'll put all internet users at risk, especially youth. If you believe in a fr
All of the bad internet bills. One website.
Call Script on Page 2! Resources For Learning about KOSA Petitions: STOP KOSA Tell Congress: KOSA Will Censor the Internet But Won't Help
Send a fax to anywhere in the U.S. or Canada for free.
The Committee on Energy and Commerce is the oldest standing legislative committee in the U.S. House of Representatives and is vested with th
DuckDuckGo's new search feature comes as the internet is being flooded with AI-generated slop.
The filter relies on manually curated open-source blocklists, including the ‘nuclear’ list, provided by uBlockOrigin and uBlacklist Huge AI Blocklist,” DuckDuckGo said in a post on X. “While it won’t catch 100% of AI-generated results, it will greatly reduce the number of AI-generated images you see.
Left: AI filter is off Right: AI filter is on
Another tip for DDG - if you want to permanently get rid of DDG's AI features (which you can turn off in settings, but only temporarily) - for now you can just use noai.duckduckgo.com as your search engine. Works as advertised in the name.
Ouran high school was my favourite anime when I was like 14 which is really funny because thats also the age I basically was in a Haruhi fujioka situation. Not like fully literally but the meat of it was the same
I was the one single middle-class kid in a super high-end rich kid private academy with like pressed uniforms and building wings and everything. I didnt get any sort of scholarship, my dad just got a job as a teacher there and teachers kids got to enroll for free because the tuition was like 30 grand a year and you arent affording that on a teacher salary. So I understand her on a very visceral level and perhaps enjoyed OHSHC so much because she was SOOO me fr. These damn rich people
One time I convinced my classmates that I had never had sushi before because we were too poor to afford it just so they would pay for my sushi dinner and it worked. They were so out of touch that they thought I didnt have the money for anything more expensive than fast food. I did in fact take advantage of this partially because every teenager is a shithead and I was not exempt from that rule and partially because I knew they had more money than god so it was a totally victimless crime. A classmate once bought 2 copies of The Last Guardian on release just because they thought I "deserved a new game." They thought I couldnt afford a new video game and I said nothing
This experience also made me utterly immune to the "rich people shit is when [middle class thing]" discourse on this site. Because ive directly experienced rich people shit and its NOT when someone goes to NYU or gets Starbucks on their breaks at the job they have to work to afford their mortgage.
Rich people shit is when I had to yell at my classmates that we are not spending tens of thousands of dollars ON BALLOONS for our prom when we had a DJ to pay and their response to me was "thats only 700 dollars per person."
Rich people shit is when I went to go tutor one of my classmates little brothers who was struggling with history and it took him 10 minutes to go get his tablet from his bedroom and come back to the kitchen table because their house was that big, which was being cleaned by a live-in maid while their private chef made us snacks the entire time I was tutoring him. And then their parents paid me 500 bucks and told me "sorry I seem to have misplaced my other wallet, is this enough? Its not a lot :(("
Rich people shit is when the other teachers kids and I breezed through school with high GPAs because all of our peers had so much money that they never had to care about getting into a good university or having careers or budgeting or anything, so they never tried.
Rich people shit is when youre invited to a little get together on the weekends and get told to bring an overnight bag because their definition of a little get together is an overnight yacht trip. And then you get there and find out that your middle class definition of what's needed for an overnight trip is VERY different from a rich persons definition of the same thing: you have some pajamas, clean underwear, toothpaste, and some soap and face wash, maybe some moisturizer. They bring half their wardrobes and designer personally-commissioned serums that cost more than your house and then tell you that youre "just so quaint."
So much discourse around whos rich and whos not comes from people who have never been in a rich persons reality and so they end up shooting directly above them and calling that rich. But I tell you from personal experience that rich people are uniquely disconnected from reality and anybody who has to work for a living is by definition NOT rich. I dont care if they have a big suburban house and 2 new cars and go on vacations a lot, thats not RICH. Rich is when their kids think 700 dollars is pocket change for prom balloons and have their own personal yacht to take their friends on whenever they want, not when someone goes to fucking NYU.
an underrecognised tragedy of AI slop isn't just that any piece of contemporary art could be AI, any news reel could be AI, it's that now just any video of something vaguely nice and whimsical happening in the world could be AI
this is about the trampoline bunnies
"lol if you just look closely you can tell when somethi--" silence nerd, the problem is that i don't want to have to approach everything nice wondering if the devil is trying to deceive me
Art by Vadim Koval
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals