okay here’s the actual story for those curious. yes this place really does/did exist; i don’t remember the name of it (“the moose lodge” or some stupid shit like that) but it was in ontario, north of the upper peninsula
> guy that my grandma’s brother is vague acquaintances with runs this casino on the outskirts of a decently sized city
> business is declining; the economy of the area is kind of getting fucked so people obviously aren’t gambling
> guy decides to close the casino
> guy is also an asshole; tells NOBODY he’s doing this except his wife (the co-owner)
> one day (it’s like a wednesday in april. some random fucking day) everyone who works at the casino shows up for the day and are greeted with an empty, locked building
> someone gets into the building Somehow and uses the landline phone to call the owner
> “…for how long? are you doing renovations or something”
> “no we’re closed. we’re done. forever”
> 45-ish people (dealers, bartenders, cooks, security; i mean NOBODY was told about the closure) pissed as fuck and suddenly out of a job
> everyone leaves mad. throughout the day patrons (also not told about the closure) come to the casino to see that it’s just fucking closed forever for no reason
> word gets out that the building’s gonna be demolished
> demolition crew say “hey if you used to work here we’ll let you in to check and make sure you didn’t leave any of your stuff before we knock the place down”
> several employees enter to find that literally not one fucking thing in the entire god damn casino has been touched. it’s barely even dusty since it’s been locked up for months
> expensive kitchen equipment + security system intact. top shelf liquor unopened behind bar. slots and roulette in perfect working order. hundreds and hundreds of poker chips and decks of cards completely pristine
> there was even gross old food still in the fridges like it’s literally as if they just closed for the day and never fucking opened again which is basically exactly what happened
> employees go fucking ham on the place. a bunch of them call their friends, even (this is how my grandma and her brother got there)
> iirc they left the pricey kitchen stuff to get destroyed as a last fuck you to the owner but the security system got stripped, the bar got emptied, and the tables got ANNIHILATED
> according to my grandma one guy stole the fucking gold plated light fixtures. one woman actually stole one of the front doors
> have you ever seen a time lapse video of sea crustaceans converging on a freshly dead fish? so many of them that you can’t even see what they’re eating? and when they disperse all that’s left is a picked-clean skeleton? imagine that but the dead fish was this perfectly intact abandoned casino and the sea crustaceans were like 60 disgruntled past employees and their friends. it was a massacre
> demolition crew is watching in shock
> my grandma (allegedly) stole fourteen decks of cards, ten sets of dice, a bottle of really expensive tequila, and a TEN POUND bag of poker chips
> everyone leaves after the place has been ravaged like nothing fucking happened
> nobody was ever arrested/questioned for burglary or anything. nobody seemed to care
> fast forward almost 40 years
> go camping with my grandma in her goofy RV
> bored at night playing card games
> conversation on-theme, i mention that i collect dice and decks of cards
> “hey did i ever tell you the story of that canadian casino i stole a ton of stuff from back when i was in my 30s”
> hear the story. shaking in my boots a little. try to call her bluff
> “you have got to be kidding. there is no way that happened”
> grandma opens a cupboard on the other side of the RV and pulls out two decks of cards in box branded with the name of the casino + one of the plastic dealing box thingies they keep the cards in at the table
> says this is all she has left from her haul after giving most of it away to other people
> give one deck + box to my stepdad for christmas and tell him the story, keep other deck for self
> proud owner of legendary deck of stolen cards
> sometimes remember this story on a whim and literally cannot believe that it was real and i have evidence
2087
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