Kulang Sa Pansin @crisespela - Tumblr Blog

33rd Year

Yesterday, on my 33rd birthday, I decided to confess to a guy I like for the first time in my life.

And I got rejected.

He was still so nice in rejecting me and I sort of wish he was a jerk instead so I could hate him.

Waking up early even without an alarm on a weekend, she laid down on her bed staring at the ceiling. She was pissed with her body clock. She planned to get up to make breakfast and do errands since she was awake already. That was roughly two hours ago but she's still on her bed, convincing herself to get up and get busy. She checked her phone and noticed several notifications from her social media accounts, her friends might have posted photos from their meet up last night. When she checked their posts, she saw herself with her friends smiling in all the photos and for some reason, she felt that she didn't know the girl in the photos. That girl looked confident and content, and she knows that she doesn't feel that way. She was hoping that meeting her friends would improve her mood but sadly, it did not. She knew she was wearing a mask, they didn't know what she's going on on her head. She knew she should feel this way, she had it better than most people. She has a stable job. She has a small circle of friends who she can constantly talk to. She has a loving family. But why does she feel... empty but overwhelmed at the same time? Her head is constantly full of worries, she sometimes get tired just thinking of all the possible things that could happen then she would herself unable to function anymore due to mental fatigue. On the other hand, there will be days that she would not be able to feel anything. She could not understand emotions of people around her. She would feel like an empty husk. She was able to get her feet off the bed after a while. Her body though is still mostly in her bed. She heard her phone ringing and saw that it is from her one of her friends who she met last night. She took a deep breath and answered the call cheerfully, "Hi!".

#random writing #overwhelmed #empty

Happy Birthday Nanay! ❤️ I would love to hug you really tight right now. I know you're in a much better place but it doesn't make me miss you any lesser. --- A few years back, I would always look forward going home to spend Nanay's birthday weekend with her. No fancy celebrations, just spending quality time together just like how we usually do. Sometimes, well right now, I wish that I can still do that. Knowing that everything is not the same as before does not make it any easier. It's one of those days, just when you think you're doing okay, then suddenly you feel like there's a huge rock that just hits you right where it hurts.

Sending some good vibes for 2018 from Meng Meng, Shuai Shuai and Ku Ku! 🐼🐼🐼 PANDA IS ❤️❤️❤️ #latepost #chimelongsafaripark #guangzhou #chinaadventures #pandatriplets (at Chimelong Safari)

#pandatriplets #guangzhou #chimelongsafaripark #latepost #chinaadventures

I actually googled "how to ask a guy out" and "how to initiate a conversation" and I utterly failed.

#Epic fail

And I'm smiling like a fool because of you. I don't even know if you like me back but just the thought of you makes a rather mundane morning a very nice one. I want more of those random moments last week where I got to spend time with you. ❤️

#Is this love #Smiling because of you

sleepyheadsparadise

Sometimes it’s easier to say something crazy than something that people can’t understand, because it’s better to be crazy than to be pathetic.

Woo Suji, Because this is my First Life

eunjiswife

His heart came to me.

eunjiswife

His heart came to me.

When you are "kilig" over a very nice series, Because This Is My First Life, and at the same time, you are also "kilig" over your own love life (though it is baby steps or rather snail pace, at least it moved a bit). One thing I learned from the series is to be as honest and as raw as you can be so you won't have regrets. ☺

#because this is my first life

Seriously, thoughtful and caring guys are the best!