The Cris Kingdom

Hi, I'm Cris, and you're on my tumblr! My sense of humor is completely incomprehensible. NSFW text at times; don't read my blog at church. Enjoy your stay! ♥ 25 ♦ Cis Guy (he/him) ♣ Bi ♠ Aromantic & Asexual

[ieg]

literally all of these r me. im wikipedia bf

[mercuryfountain-deactivated2024]

Hole from a guy who says “in any case” and “be that as it may”

[st-just]

Faeries and the Peasant Girl by Yuliya Litvinova

[ex-riddlecats]

i have the opposite of seasonal depression where im fine all winter but without fail every june i feel the deep seated need in myself to bury my head underground and not talk to anybody for weeks

[ex-riddlecats]

by talos this cant be happening

[shittymoviedetails]

Lord of the Rings Trilogy but it's EVERY scene where two female characters interact

[weirdbees]

[soupmoss]

in elden ring i enjoy sneaking up to huge armored shield-wielding guys and then shooting magic beams at their backs and going “hooohoohoohoohoo!” while running away from them. sometimes i die though.

[soupmoss]

this is the worst burn i’ve ever gotten

[prokopetz]

Question 7: Assuming that the Roman Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation is correct, estimate how tall Christ our Lord must have been in order for His body to furnish all properly consecrated Communion wafers consumed to date. Justify your assumptions.

[quantum-mechan1c]

Great work everyone

[prokopetz]

[quantum-mechan1c]

Loving the crowdsourced sacrilege on display here

[the-defiant-fluffball]

I asked maths boy for his input

[prokopetz]

#ok but are we assuming average human density here or can we have a black hole jesus #will there be a noticeable gravitational effect from standing too close to our lord and savior #can i - and this is critical - can i be spaghettified by jesus (via @dreadful-puns-and-finger-guns)

[oldfarmhousefallfeatures]

mood to bake! 🍪✨ delicious & easy gluten-free peanut butter cookies & thought I’d share the recipe with you!

GLUTEN-FREE 3-INGREDIENT PB COOKIES:

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. 2. Stir 3/4 cup creamy peanut butter, 3/4 cup granulated sugar & 1 egg together until smooth. 3. Roll into 1-inch balls with your hands and place on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet. 4. Flatten the cookies with the bottom of a glass, but allow them to still remain a little thick (see second photo). Then press a criss-cross pattern into each cookie with the back of a fork.

5. Bake 12 minutes, then remove from oven and allow to cool 2-3 minutes. Transfer to a cooling rack. Enjoy warm with a glass of milk or mug of coffee!✨

photocredithttp://instagram.com/nataliecreates/

[45percenterthen]

you're from california ? like the hotel ?

[funnytwittertweets]

[elenorasweet]

Put your lazy meal in the tags

[paramar]

there can't be that many five letter words.

[paramar]

all of us when the wordle of the day finally is penis

[pointnclick]

Those L + ratio things read like telegrams to me

[warabou]

L STOP ratio STOP you have no hobbies STOP you have no girl STOP fuck you STOP

[subtilitas]

Jun Igarashi - Private garage, Asahikawa 2007. Photos © the architect.

[foulserpent]

[crabs-in-a-trench-coat]

[pukicho]

I feel like murderers would be more respected in society if they murdered large mutated mega ants and not people. Room for thought for future murderers.

[creatorofthemind]

You laugh, but that’s the plot of hunter x hunter

[pukicho]

Okay I just watched all 144 episodes to see if you were lying and you were not lying