This Is Calm And Its KJ

“Remind me to have her drug tested”

[crminal-minds]

Master List

Spotify Playlists 💿

Incorrect Quotes 🗝

[crminal-minds]

Hotch: You fucked a murderer!?

Reid: What’s the big deal? I wore a condom.

Morgan: At least your safe sex lecture paid off.

Hotch: Shut the fuck up.

[crminal-minds]

Hotch: I don’t have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done.

[crminal-minds]

Spencer : Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there?

Emily : Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before.

Spencer :

Spencer : *sobs*

Derek: You fucking scared him, you idiot.

[crminal-minds]

Emily: I haven’t done this since I was a kid *tries to slide down the stairs*

*crashes into a vase*

Emily: Well I’m fucked *takes a hit of a vape*

Hotch: What is in your hand?

Emily: It’s a… harmonica

Hotch: What happened?!

Emily: *plays harmonica flawlessly*

Source: this.

[crminal-minds]

Emily : I will send my army to attack!

Emily : *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

[crminal-minds]

Spencer: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party in college. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.

[crminal-minds]

Derek *in a jail cell*: What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!

Hotch *in the cell next to him*: You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

[crminal-minds]

Derek: I don’t know the first thing about clothes. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This chair? Not clothes.

[crminal-minds]

Spencer: Everyone synchronise your watches.

Derek: I don't know how to do that.

Penelope : I don't wear a watch.

Emily: Time is a construct.

[crminal-minds]

Emily, hung over: I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

[crminal-minds]

Emily: I’m going to show you guys how to make a delicious meal.

*Emily, pulling out a bag of grapes* : And with only one ingredient.

JJ: Tell me you’re not making us wine for dinner?

Emily: Of course not, it’s just grape juice.

JJ: …?

Emily: Really old grape juice.

Emily: Fine, I’m making wine.

[crminal-minds]

Hotch: Would you like to explain why there’s a lighter in your purse?

Prentiss: I burnt down a government building.

Hotch: Oh thank god, I thought you were smoking weed!

[crminal-minds]

My lock screen 💻

[crminal-minds]

Incorrect quotes 🗝

1. 🗝

2. 🗝

3.🗝

[crminal-minds]

Derek: What are your adjectives?

Spencer: You mean my pronouns?

Derek: No, I already know your pronouns. I mean your adjectives.

Spencer: …What are yours?

Derek: Annoying and chaotic!

Spencer: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to complete sense so fast.

[crminal-minds]

Playlists 💿

Characters

Spencer Reid

Emily Prentiss

Derek Morgan

Penelope Garcia

Aaron Hotchner

David Rossi

Elle Greenaway

Cat Adams

Relationships

Derek + Spencer

JJ + Emily

Hotch + Emily

Spencer + Cat

General

Criminal Minds