“Where the northern lights burst out in colors and the magic nights surpass all others”
I’m SO happy with how this turned out. I had to do 3 tries on the borealis, but I got them how I wanted in the end. The lyrics above are from Husavik from the movie Eurovision if anyone was wondering (It’s very tf!scott coded)
Spruced up an old sketch from a few years ago! This was partially inspired by a memory of walking along the beach after a storm had passed when I was little, there were so many starfish littered everywhere that it almost looked like they had fallen from the sky ⭐
if the bannerfall masquerade ball taught me anything, it's that our college AUs should definitely be imagining Blue and Red as mixed-gender frat houses
like look at that stream and tell me it wasn't the most stereotypical frat party you've ever layed your eyes upon
all i want for 2026 is that gigantic rancid AI bubble to finally burst in such a catastrophic way that the consequences will be so good and i'll never have to see another AI generated image ever again
Ok I NEED to talk about Jawhn and Jonathan STAT. Prepare for some word vomit.
(DaD spoilers bellow!!)
Because, somehow, Jawhn and Jonathan have incidentally created a PERFECT representation of generational trauma and how difficult it is to break.
Because, if you think about it, Jawhn and Jonathan are very similar in almost every way. They both grew up in the apocalypse with harsh fathers and loving mothers, both of whom are dead now, they both were or are apart of survivalist groups, (Jawhn in Lazarus and Jonathan in a group he’s mentioned called the Survivors), they both have done morally questionable things for these groups and their goals for a cure, they have experienced extreme loss and seen the worst of humanity, and Jawhn has faith in a cure just like Jonathan did at his (nearly exact!) age! They are so, SO similar. It’s almost uncanny.
The biggest things that set them apart are 1. Time. Jonathan was born earlier, just before the infection started, he saw whatever good humanity might have had be torn apart from the beginning. Meanwhile, Jawhn was born within the apocalypse, it’s all he’s ever known. And 2. Their bravery. Because Jonathan has openly admitted to people that he is a capital c Coward. It’s the only reason he’s survived this far. He is emotionally and physically avoidant of everything so he isn’t hurt. Jawhn, on the other hand, has STUPID AMOUNTS of bravery. He cannot give up on ANYTHING. He won’t give up on honesty, or a cure, or other people, or anything. It’s so intense that it often puts him and the people he cares about directly in harms way, and yet, HE PERSISTS. He, like Jonathan, has lost nearly everything and he still continues .
And these two things are exactly why they both hate each other, and why they can never leave each other alone. The way I see it, they are perfect representations of the younger and older generations. Jonathan is the elder generation, and he has been traumatized to hell and back. To the point that he’s practically given up on life. And Jawhn is the younger generation who is determined to break the cycle of generational trauma.
Jawhn has kind of, in a weird way, made Jonathan almost like his pet project. Jawhn has lost everything in Paradise City. Cyn, Jophiel, Woogie, and now Zora too. The only thing he has left is Lazarus, he even says so himself. So, other than the potential for a cure, why does he stick around? Why doesn’t he go back to Lazarus? I genuinely believe it’s mostly because of Jonathan. Jonathan has also lost everything EXCEPT… for Spidey. She is to him as Lazarus is to Jawhn. And Jawhn is unusually invested in getting them to reunite. He continuously tells Jonathan to go to Spidey, even if he has to yell it in his face, and drag him to her kicking and screaming. He even goes out of his way to tell Spidey when he sees her, “Jonathan cares about you. He’s looking for you, you both need each other.” He has this intense need to help Jonathan despite his VERY OPEN dislike of the man. And I think it’s because, even though they truly hardly know eachother, Jawhn and Jonathan are so similar that they understand each other in a way nobody else quite can. Jawhn NEEDS to see Jonathan find hope, find Spidey, because he needs to prove to himself, to Jonathan, to EVERYONE, that hope is still possible. That people can get better. That HE can still get better, even after everything. Because he is acutely aware that if he stops being brave enough to believe in hope, then everything he’s gone through will have been pointless, and he is going to end up EXACTLY like Jonathan. It almost seems like he won’t let himself return to Lazarus until he proves it.
And this is where their hatred of each other comes in. In fact, their hatred of each other only makes the relationship more realistic. Because, if any of you have ever tried to push back against generational trauma specifically by helping your older family members, it is INFURIATING. It’s like watching a bird continue to sit in its cage after the door has been unlocked. Jawhn literally says when he’s taking to Spidey “I’ve given him so many chances to be better.” Because he has! He is always asking “Jonathan, help us find a cure, help us save these people, find Spidey, find hope.” And Jonathan, true to his own cowardice, refuses every advance. He can’t have hope. Hope means running the risk of losing it, and he can’t handle that pain for the millionth time. When suffering is all you’ve ever known, good things become terrifying. AND OH GOD DOES IT CAUSE CONFLICT BETWEEN THESE TWO. Literally every interaction they have feels like a constant fight. A fight that Jonathan is always trying to run from, as he has always done, and one that Jawhn is always trying to pursue, as he has always done. They both openly admit to disliking each other, and still they end up together strangely often.
Jawhn physically cannot give up on anything, especially Jonathan, who reminds him so much of the future he does not want for himself. And Jonathan physically cannot give a shit about anything, especially Jawhn and his stupid hope for a cure that reminds him so much of his younger self.
And the best part is… it’s kind of working. I don’t think Jawhn is the sole reason Jonathan is changing his ways, far from it. There are a LOT of factors at play in Jonathan’s character arc. But I think that Jawhn is sometimes the only person who will tell Jonathan exactly what he needs to hear. Because sometimes he needs to have it screamed in his face for it to get through. And sometimes Jawhn needs be reminded that what he says has any kind of impact, he needs be reminded that things can get better. That his hope is not totally misplaced. Because if Jonathan can change, then anyone can, right?
I truly do not think that these two will ever be able to form a healthy or loving relationship with each other, I actually really hope they don’t, but I think that there is something positive to be gained from their constant conflict. I hope they continue to challenge each other, and maybe, someday, become better because of it. I hope they both get their happy endings far, far away from each other. Because the thing that brings them together is suffering and the need to be free of it, and when they are free of suffering, they will therefore be free of each other.
nom and katie are like. katie, growing up, has been struggling against having her identity reduced to "nom's little sister". she loves her brother and she wants him in her life but she needs to keep a separation from him because shes worked too hard to build an identity outside of him.
meanwhile nom has his whole life built his whole identity around being "katie's big brother" and sees absolutely nothing wrong with that and is now struggling because he feels thats been ripped away from him and is desperately trying to claw back that identity because he cant cope with the hole its left in his life.
and to make it worse - to nom, this subsumption of his entire self into his relationship with his sister is because he loves her... so when katie refuses to do the same, that means she must not love him back. or at least, she doesnt love him as much as he loves her. and katie is trying so hard to meet him in the middle and negotiate a relationship where they can stay in each other's lives without being completely codependent but thats still a rejection to nom, who wants the same level of unhealthy devotion in return.
and thats BEFORE factoring in the war happening! its a horrible no-win situation! people are probably gonna die over it! and it makes me cry!
How are you feeling about the most recent Owain-Nom conversation?
It definetly hot me with a brock to the face
I've watched it three times at this point and...
As an Owain fan, I'm loving it.
As an angst fan, I'm loving it.
As an analyzer, I'm loving it.
As an oath duo shipper, I'm loving it.
As a world building obsessor, I'm loving it.
As a fan of non-stereotypical SH representation, I'm loving it.
And as someone who has been in the trenches trying to get people to realize that Owain doesn't hate Nom and doesn't want violence, I'm loving it.
It has given me so many ideas for analysis and creative writing prompts. For example, where did Owain learn all that about the knight god? Did Arthur teach him? Who or what told Owain that he could harm himself to pay penance for others? Or that paying penance was necessary at all?
I only wish Nominal had more of a reaction to Owain practically yelling at him that he has been harming himself to keep Nom safe. Maybe he did privately, I'm not sure, but I'm going to watch he vods in like an hour so I'll find out. I think it would've hit hard if he had some sort of reaction, but maybe the lack of a big reaction could be interpreted as shock and I think that too hits hard. However, seeing the interaction from only Owain's perspective as of now, I interpreted his reaction as somewhat... selfish or self-centered, maybe arrogant? I'm sure there's a better word for it, but those are just my opinions and not objectively true. I'm really excited to see what comes from it.
hello! Nom watcher here to explain his reaction, because I realise that it may seem strange to those who aren’t particularly familiar w his character :)
((DISCLAIMER this is just my analysis feel free to disagree with what i say here - also big spoilers for nom lore!!))
The reaction bf!Nom had was pretty heavily influenced by his backstory.
Nom knows what pain is. He grew up training to fight and killing from a young age. He is no stranger to inflicting pain upon others. He also holds a very self-destructive mindset, continuously prioritising others over himself while simultaneously being a bit of a selfish bastard at times. As such, i think that the idea that Owain is hurting himself, though not something he’s come across directly, is not outside of his understanding.
What does shock him is the fact that Owain is doing this in order to protect him.
Nom has pretty much always been the protector in whatever relationship dynamic he’s been a part of. He’s the strong one, the one who can take the blows. That’s his job.
He’s more shocked by the idea that someone would care enough about him to take on his pain, than he is the method by which it is done.
It was not a big reaction, because Nom was too busy shifting his entire worldview that someone who he thought judged and hated him was in fact acting as a guardian behind his back.
In some ways, perhaps it was a selfish reaction, but Nom is no stranger to putting himself in harm’s way for others. It’s all he’s ever been taught to do. As much as Owain’s methods are self-inflicted and visceral, in many ways Nom does the same thing for 4C, for Katie, for those he cares for. Running the creaking dungeon solo repeatedly, even when his body wants nothing more than to rest.
I fear that Nom did not have a big reaction, because he does not realise quite how wrong it is to hurt yourself for the problems of others.
bannerfall college AU where Red and Blue kingdoms are rival colleges in the same town that used to be owned by the same parent company, except it’s modern fantasy so all the magic and god stuff still exists
