carter

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@cruccio-dat-hoe
carter
Book: Night Drives ❤️
I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to say good bye yet.
I can say it to you in the long forgiving messages I write. I can convince others with lengthy paragraphs and persuasive smiles that I’ve said my good-byes. But the truth is, I’m still stuck somewhere between “good bye” and “see you again.”
If they weren’t willing to fight for you once the masks came off and you revealed your true self to them,
If they weren’t willing to put effort into getting you back after you bared all of your feelings and raw emotions and eternally unspoken thoughts,
If they weren’t interested in even keeping up with you or checking in on you after you left and you’re doing all the work to still get their attention,
Then maybe it’s time to let them go, Sis.
They aren’t worth all this fight. Not worth your lost sleep or heartbroken silent tears. Not worth you gasping for air in the middle of the night because missing them hurts that much.
Seek happiness in brighter places. 💕 You deserve it.
An Unsent Letter 3
To his future lover,
I know you don't want to hear this, especially not from someone who broke his heart. I know he might have talked about the girl who broke his innocent heart, and how he still kept pining after her, because I know I am an important chapter of his story, a turning point but that's all I will ever be, a chapter in his story, never an epilogue. You still have the chance to be his epilogue. And I am writing this to you, wanting you to be in his epilogue because he doesn't deserve any more heartbreak. I know, you'll stay and I know you'll give him the love that I failed to give.
I just want to remind you of the different ways where you can make him feel loved. I just want you to love him with all you have, because he'll love you with everything he has and more. His love would shine through his eyes and you'll know it. You'll know it when his eyes light up when he sees you or when he holds your hand. He won't be afraid to show the world about how much you mean to him, and I hope you won't be embarassed to express your love either. He would take the long way home just to spend more time with you. I ask you to hug him when he reads the poem that he has written for you. It's all his expression of love. Show him you accept his love. But most importantly, tell him you love him. Tell him when you feel the butterflies in your stomach from his gentle gaze. Tell him when you feel the warmth when he smiles at you. Tell him you love him when he says he loves you, because you know that you love him too.
I know that somedays are going to be difficult, that there will be days when it's hard to love and it's okay. But he'll always be there for you, meeting you halfway. He will never make you feel that your love is unreciprocated. And your smile might just make his day. He wears his heart on his sleeves, and be careful when you hold it. Don't let it fall and break, it's already been broken once and it has probably taken him long time to piece it all together. So hold it gently and fiercely. And maybe you don't need me tell you this because there must be a reason why you are beside him and I am not.
From,
Someone he once loved.
I suppose we were meant to be.
We just weren’t meant to last.
When it's time to let go.
““How do you look at someone you love and tell yourself it’s time to walk away.””
—
This is how you get over them. You sit with the feeling. You learn it. You write about it and talk and grieve and be gentle with yourself. Gradually, it begins to shift and change shape. Other matters of importance arise. Other things become exciting. You find new loves. You love them differently. You love yourself differently too. Your old love becomes a soft fact or a body memory. Maybe the love leaves, maybe it doesn’t, but it changes. It will not always feel this way.
Yrsa Daley-Ward
To heal is to touch with love that which was previously touched by fear.
Stephen Levine
“How do you say goodbye when your heart still wants to hold on?”
—
Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are simply toxic to our being simply because their needs and way of existing force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren't inherently bad people, but they aren't the right people for us.
Daniell Koepke