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@crushh-existz
hello very much โ๏ธ
: ฬฬโ rules + about Me
ืโฐโโค dump blog for writing ๊ฉ
#crushie tries writing โ for fics
#my art โ for art
#my photography โ for photography
ืโฐโโค masterlist
lace banner by: @uzmacchiato
Computer spread face mole gaara propaganda
Nara wips I like enough to post but not enough to finish ๐๐
abbachio: โur face is comfortableeeโ
narancia: โuโve sat on his face or what?โ
a piece of Vi
enjoy
TACO BELL RITUAL โgirlfriend? uh thatโs my doordasher..โ โ๏ธ vi x reader โธป language, suggestive, flirty
โ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
thank you for reading! โค๏ธ consider reblogging, leaving a comment, or shooting me an ask if you enjoyed :3
Hey cuties !! I lowk have been spending the day on tumblr and i read my hot & heavy fic and finally got motivation to pick it up again after like a whole year.,. So iโll get that up after my acc gets a much needed rebrand ๐ฅน๐ซถ๐ป
Gute nacht ๐ด
helllooo! have you made any new episodes of the โHot and Heavyโ story? its about reader and ellie williams that went no contact in college and now y/n is back in the city
Heyโฆ ๐ฅน ok so basically what happened is i wrote that like a year ago when i had a fart amount of free time and like single so i could do whatever. But yk time passed and i lowks forgot all abt whatever i was writingโฆ. BUT I DO HAVE HALF OF CHPT 2 IN MY DRAFTS ๐๐๐ iโll try to pick it up bc people seemed to like it but because canโt promise anything bc i have absolutely no free time so yes!! But iโll try!!
Thank you sm for caring enough to msg me abt this crappy fic ๐๐
Not me getting invested to realize itโs a year old abandoned fic yall ๐
CRYING NOO THIS MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD
KOMARUUUU COSPLAY YAY
MY BABY GIRLLLL
helllooo! have you made any new episodes of the โHot and Heavyโ story? its about reader and ellie williams that went no contact in college and now y/n is back in the city
Heyโฆ ๐ฅน ok so basically what happened is i wrote that like a year ago when i had a fart amount of free time and like single so i could do whatever. But yk time passed and i lowks forgot all abt whatever i was writingโฆ. BUT I DO HAVE HALF OF CHPT 2 IN MY DRAFTS ๐๐๐ iโll try to pick it up bc people seemed to like it but because canโt promise anything bc i have absolutely no free time so yes!! But iโll try!!
Thank you sm for caring enough to msg me abt this crappy fic ๐๐
71 days it's been. 71 days the people have been starving for "A Fresh Start" to make it's newest episode. 71 days the people have waited to be fed. why must you deny us our craving, sire. we are famished. we are cold, hungry, and desperate. desperate for something to eat.
WHEN U PUT IT LIKE THAT... LMAOOO
ONCE MY KEYBOARD COMES IN IM GONNA WORK ON IT ALL SPRING BREAK!!! LIKE SRSLY FR THIS TIMEโฆ AND ITLL BE BETTER AND BIGGERR THAN BEFORE!
โWork all spring breakโ she says as its now summer breakโฆ
BAD LIARS โ
fake dating hockey! vi x reader | fluff, angst, fake dating trope, romcom-ish, smut (mdni 18+) wc 20.8k
synopsis: following the release of four outdated love letters, vi vanderson is more than willing to start fake dating the girl of her dreams as a way to get rid of your clingy ex (and her ex hookup): caitlyn kiramman.ย
content: fake dating trope, some fake insta/snap stories/smau content!, language, betrayal, makeup smut (kissing, fingering, oral, mdni!), clingy ex!caitlyn, college au, lying, miscommunication
soundtrack: if you let me (alina baraz) | lowkey (niki) | lovers (anna of the north) | see through (amelia moore) | fetish (selena gomez) | kill bill (sza) | all of the girls you loved before (taylor swift) | two weeks (fka twigs) | everything happens for a reason (madison beer) | every summertime (niki)
Three-fourths of your favorite cereal is absolutely disgusting.ย
The deep blue circles start off sweet, but leave a bitter aftertaste that stains your tongue. The auburn ones arenโt all that bad, but they get too soggy, disintegrating into grains that fade into the now colored milk. The chestnut brown discs are so scarce that their taste is completely forgettable; you swear thereโs only three in each batch.ย
Had these been the only flavors, youโd chuck the box in the trash and scold your best friend-roommate Mel for even bringing them into your shared apartment. But that one-fourth of strawberry pink circles make it worth it every time. Theyโre sweet on your tongue, sweet on your heart, sweeโ
โWhatโs with the look?โย
Melโs concern-filled voice brings you back to the present, making you smile sheepishly like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar. The girl slides her white puffer jacket on, keys jingling in her hand as she awaits an answer.ย
โNothinโ, just ate a blue one.โ Your mouth flattens, attempting to squeeze the bitter flavor from your tastebuds.ย
The gold-eyed girl hums. She blinks as her arms cross and she takes two, then three cautious steps towards you. Her gaze flickers faster than light, attempting to read every inch of your body language.ย
โYou know,โ she starts, sitting down to place a comforting hand on your shoulder. โIf you need to talk about it, Iโm here. Donโt feel like you have to suffer in silence.โย
That makes you snort, soft reassuring laughter following as you shake your head with confidence.
โSuffer? Mel, I broke up with Caitlyn, not the other way around.โย
โYeah, but transitioning from a relationship to a peace-abundant single life is hard nonetheless.. unless youโre ready to jump to the rebound stage?โ Her full brows raise in persuasion as she finishes her sentence. In her mind, getting laid would solve any problems that the complex inner-workings of your mind could craft.ย
The question catches you off guard once more. Not that it should. Itโd be a big fat lie to claim the idea never crossed your mind. In fact, it planted itself inside your brain like a bug and dug all the way down to memories youโd attempted to forget. Down to highschool of all places (God forbid). Down to those four names that perfectly defined the word โdesireโ for you. Ellie Williams, Caitlyn Kiramman, Sky Young, and Violet Vanderson.ย
Ellie, a fellow camp counselor at Wildflower Haven your junior year, took hold of your heart on day one. Sneaking out of your cabins at night, skinny dipping in the camp lake, even making matching bracelets that you claimed youโd โwear foreverโ. Your crush blossomed at superluminal speed. But before you knew it, camp was coming to an end and you were saying goodbye forever.ย
Caitlyn Kiramman. A classic senior-year-of-high-school crush that didnโt develop until the first semester of college sophomore year. Your now ex, who is the last person you want to think about. High five to your high school self for predicting that one, though.ย
Sky Young, a skating instructor at your local ice rink: Polar Peaks. After youโd fallen on your face for the fourth time and were ready to give up, you saw chestnut brown curls above you, decorating one of the friendliest smiles youโd seen to date. She helped you rise to your feet and held your hand for a lap around the rink. Unfortunately, you were a sophomore when she was a senior, and a week later you returned to the rink to find out sheโd officially left for college. Not that there was anything between you two. Still, you could dream.ย
And last, but certainly not least, Violet Vanderson. The star athlete of your schoolโs hockey team then and now. Sculpted muscles, a singular tattoo that multiplied quickly after graduation, and a killer smile that could put a halt to the gears turning in any girlโs head.
It was a simple interaction. You were the first one to read your final poem in front of your literature class with clammy palms, a shaky voice, and a dream. As you finished, looking at attentive students like a deer in headlights, Vi was the first to clap. It was enthusiastic, loud, and genuine. And like always, other students followed suit.ย
Vi didnโt know you. She knew of you, the bits and pieces she could gather. You were somewhat of a social butterfly, you smelled of strawberry and vanilla every time you passed her seat, you were mind-consumingly beautiful, and you could write. Unfortunately for the both of you, your paths didnโt seem to cross any further than that.
And so, you wrote a letter.
Four love letters, to be exact. Each one in the high point of your crushes, attempting to soothe the longing feeling in your gut that ached for you to do something. You wrapped them all the same, in either a dark blue, chestnut brown, auburn, or pink envelope with a bow on the seal, even going as far as addressing and stamping them. Of course, they were never meant to be sent, which led them to their hiding place in a rose-red cylindrical fabric box that was stashed away into the depths of your closet.ย
โCโmon, youโre hot and single again. I have some good contestantsโโ
โI donโt know Mels,โ you cut her off with a look too mixed to decipher. โBut really, Iโm good,โ you reassure, taking another spoonful of cereal into your mouth.ย
Yuckโย another blue one.ย
โSevika, what the fuck!โ
Gertโs complaint was drowned out by skates shuffling against the abused ice. Players clad in blue and white practice jerseys messily fill the space, fighting to keep up with Sevika. The woman speeds past, guiding the puck along the ice and slamming it into the goal.
The sounds of hurried feet and grunts subside, leaving breathless panting and shared looks of confusion across the teammatesโ faces. But one pair of skates never slows, coming up behind the buff figure and skidding to a stop.
โThe hell are you doing?โย Vi scolds the woman with a scrunched up face of judgement. This is the sixth time Sevikaโs pissed her off this week and itโs starting to get on her last nerve. โYouโre hogging the puck. Youโre not the only person on this team, in a game this wouldโveโโย
โGet the hell out of my face,โ the burly woman throws back, shoulder checking Violet hard enough to make her break her cool, squaring her shoulders and raising her voice with a โSevika,โ.ย
โVanderson! Grove!โ Coach Talisโs voice echos throughout the rink, making the hockey players stop in their tracks.ย
โUnless you two want to run extra drills: cut it out. Now.โย
โIs it just me, or is she being more of a fucking pain than usual?โ Vi asks the woman across the locker room rhetorically, slipping on a clean compression shirt and plopping down on the bench to knot her laces.ย
โI told you dude, she wants to be you, or at least take your spot.โ the blonde sighs, pulling her braided hair from under the pullover she just slipped on. โAs long as sheโs taking her anger our on you and not me..โ She continues, and the pinkette throws her a scoff before the blonde continues.ย
โYou know if you need stress relief, you could always go back to Kiramman. Heard the pretty girl called things off with her.โ
And although her teammate only muttered the words, they set off blaring alarms within Viโs mind. Because she canโt go back to hooking up with Caitlyn, she lied to her friends saying the two of them were โtoo busyโ when in reality Vi called things off because she couldnโt stop thinking about the one girl she knew nothing about. You. And suddenly, you and Cait were dating. Suddenly, she sure as hell couldnโt tell anybody the real reason she stopped seeing her.ย
โNah Abby, not happening,โ she simply replies, attempting to sound as bored with the topic as possible.
โFine, stay dry. Iโm just throwing things out there,โ the blonde puts her hands up in defense, shutting her locker as she walks towards the exit. โLater!โ she waves before slipping out of the door.ย
A beat passes. Then two. Then three. Finally, she takes a deep breath, leans down to unzip her practice bag, and reaches in.ย
And out Vi pulls a pink envelope, decorated with a bow perfectly placed on the front and her name adorned with hearts on the back.ย
The force of cool air coats your face as you walk throughout campus, ranting on the phone to Mel about your latest hell of a group project. โAnd itโs not even.. even.. sorry, Iโm getting a call. Talk at home!โย
You smile at the friendly contact photo covering your screen, rounding some greenery as the parking lot comes into view. With a click of the โacceptโ button, you're greeted with the gentlest of voices. โHey!โย
A soft chuckle leaves your lips.
โHey little man, look Iโm about to drive home so I canโt talk for long,โ you blinked a few times, realizing you went further from your car and spinning on your heels.ย
โNo worries,โ he starts, โI just wanted to let you know that last week I was helping clean your old room and I found some letters, looks like you forgot to send them out? They were stamped and addressed and everything, so I just sent them for you.โ
Ekko continues, giving some speech about God knows what.
But you canโt hear any of it, because the ringing in your ears is deafening.
No.ย
It takes a few beats of your pure, shocked silence before your brain powers back on. And once it does, every inch of your mind is racing.
Okay, you thought to yourself. Ellieโs letter was addressed to camp, so thereโs no chance of it getting to her anytime soon, if at all. Skyโs been gone for years, but you canโt remember the address you put down for her letter. Violetโ shit. She definitely has hers.ย
Oh. No. No, no, no.ย
Your body feels oh so fragile and suddenly the idea of fleeing the country doesnโt sound entirely heinous, because only a few feet away stands Caitlyn.
Her blue hair is in a messy ponytail and her outfit is less perfected than usual, urgently thrown on. Sheโs searching, a determined expression plastered on her face as her gaze flickers through crowds of students.
For a moment, you pray itโs a misunderstanding. You pray sheโs in a rush to find someone else, because thereโs absolutely no way your ex was mailed a love letter you wrote in highschool.ย
But your eyes trail down to her hand wrapped around that beautifully decorated navy envelope, and your knees are seconds away from buckling. ย
โYeah, yeah uh huh thatโs great and all Ekko but Iโve really gotta go. Call me another time, okay?โ you hit the โend callโ button with more force than needed and dash to your car.ย
As you swing open the car door and drop inside with a slam shut, you can feel it. The way your heart pounds against your chest as if itโs trying to escape. That achy feeling that crawls its way up the back of your throat and transforms into tears that prickle at the corners of your worried eyes.
You shake your head, putting the key in the ignition and immediately shifting to reverse, not tending to your clouded vision.ย
โWoah!โย
The somewhat-familiar yelp has your foot slamming on the breaks. Your face scrunches in confusion, the sleeve of your coat wiping your eyes just enough to make out the empty space behind your car as you look in your rearview camera. Youโre confused, ready to switch the car back into โreverseโ before a tap tap at your window makes you gasp.ย
Violet stands there, looking relaxed as an almost smug smile coats her lips.ย
Your face distorts, torn between speeding off and giving in to her request, but before you make a decision, your manicured hands are rolling the window down. Cool air flows inside, but it loses to the subtle warmth that fills your body from the way the pinkette is eyeing you.ย
โYou know youโre supposed to check behind you before pulling out, right?โ she teases.
The question itself is mocking, but the glint in her eye and how she leans down to relax a forearm on the car tells you to let it slide.ย
โRight,โ you agree. โRight, sorry about that. I just really need to leave soโโย
โThink yโ can explain this before you do?โ
With no time to brace yourself, she holds up that stupid decorated pink envelope, and all you want to do is faint.ย
โI donโt..โ you whisper, accepting thereโs nothing you can say to make this go away. But that blue hair is nearing, and youโre going to have a heart attack.ย
โCan you get in?โ you ask, voice a soft plea.ย
Viโs expression falters. That was the last thing she expected.
โPlease?โ you try again. โI canโt talk about this here.โ
Your footโs going to fall asleep if you sit like this any longer.
The two of you stay perfectly still, worried that any form of movement will penetrate the bubble of silence that formed as soon as Vi sat in the plush passenger seat.
Her mind is racing, because the beautiful girl sheโs had her eyes on for months sent her the most heartfelt confession sheโs ever gotten, and now sheโs sitting in her car in a secluded area of a park. For a moment, she wonders if sheโs dreaming. But the sound of your seat belt unbuckling and you shifting to face her, sweet and cautious eyes looking into her soul, has her heart skipping beats. She concludes sheโs wide awake.
โInteresting spot for our first date,โ she hums after clearing her throat. โYouโre not gonna kill me, right?โย
That has your expression faltering.ย
โYouโre..โ you stammer, โyou think this is funny?โย
โListen Iโm just a little confused, sunshine,โ she doesnโt miss the way your body stills at the nickname. โDonโt get me wrong, Iโm flattered. But you and her majesty just broke up, and I think you should know that her and Iโโย
โJustโ let me see that.โ you cut her off and reach out for the rosy packaging, but Viโs quicker, pulling it back with a squint in her eyes.
โIโd like to know how mortified I should be,โ you confess quietly after a beat of silence. โItโs been a while since I read yours.โย
Naturally, the athlete oozes confidence and cockiness, but the pure confusion that colonizes her expression makes all of that fade for the moment. Her guard is down, allowing you to reach over her lap and seize the envelope.ย
โWait wait wait,โ she starts as you focus your attention on pulling the folded paper from the envelope.ย
โWhat do you mean โyoursโ? Are you saying Iโm not the only person who got one โf these?โ she asks, voice laced with confusion and another emotion you canโt quite pinpoint. You ignore her, hands stilling as sour nostalgia hits you in the gut and knocks the wind out of you.
My dearest Violet,
Do you remember Ximena Talisโs creative writing class in junior year? You acted so uninterested in each lesson when your teammates were around, but when they were busy skipping class, you were sticking your nose in the next Shakespeare play or Edgar Allen Poe poem. You shared your own writings with the class, a bored look painting your face and an awkward laugh spilling from your throat (although, they really werenโt that bad). But when I stood in front of our peers and performed my spin on โAnnabel Leeโ, you rose to your feet in applause. Iโll always be grateful that it was you who gave me my first standing ovation. Because in that moment I knew, from my happily raised eyebrows down to the nervous shuffling of my feet, that I love you Violet Vanderson. I really, truly love you.ย
You physically canโt read the rest of this.
The tense sensation in your stomach only tightens as you hastily fold the paper and toss it back to the athlete, whoโs still examining you with a curious glint in her eye.
โOkayโย hereโs the thing,โ you begin after a deep breath. โI wrote four letters, and theyโre all outdated, likeโ from sophomore through senior year. A family friend sent them out by accident.โย
The explanation has Violet blinking, because in one sentence youโve managed to crush her plans that she confidently pranced over with. In one sentence, youโve made her question what the hell she was thinking. In one sentence, youโve washed away her suave persona and turned her to a questioning pile of mush, becauseโ youโre not just trying to get into her pants?
โ..Well who else got letters?โ She cringes at her whiny tone, running a hand through her hair for comfort.ย
โUh,โ you sigh and shift your position as you look anywhere but the girl, dread consuming your almost-annoyed face. โA girl from summer camp, some girl from the ice rink, andโฆ Caitlyn.โ The last word comes out as an embarrassed murmur that leaves Viโs mouth agape in shock and pity.ย
A few beats of silence pass before Viโs eyes light up.ย
It might be a crazy idea, and you might despise her after the suggestion leaves her lips, but she canโt pass up this opportunity.
โThings with Kiramman must be tense now, right?โ she offers.
Your lips press together in silent agreement, gaze trailing to your shining phone screen.ย 35 new messages and 6 missed calls from Caitlyn, just in the past two hours. Youโd texted Caitlyn an explanation as soon as youโd parked: that Ekko sent her an old letter and that was just that. But still, stubborn as always, the bluenette refuses to believe you.ย
โYou could say that,โ you mumble reluctantly. โI just,โ you whisper, โI donโt know what to do.โ
Her gaze flickers up and down your frame once in final thought. Your bright eyes drooping with worry and once confident voice lacing with insecurity makes up her mind. She wants nothing more than to console you, to wrap her strong arms around your frame and make you beam. Viโs not sure if itโs her or the seventeen year old in that creative writing class speaking, but words fall from her lips.ย
โI could be your girlfriend.โ
A wave of disbelief washes over you, leaving widened eyes and a pounding heart in its path. The panicked expression on your face is enough to have her next words sputtering out in consolation.ย
โFake girlfriend, of course.โ The way your eyes soften in thought fuels her to continue. โJust for a little while yโknow? To give Kiramman the hint.โ Her words are spoken with more power as she sees the gears turning in your pretty little head.
The ideaโs heinous, and the thought of your scheme being revealed makes your stomach turn in embarrassment for the both of you. Itโs ridiculous, idiotic, and risky, but your phone lights up once again with a text from your navy-haired ex, and thatโs enough to make you answer.
โOkay, letโs do it.โย
caitlyn: I know you didnโt mean what you said. Just come and talk to me, love.ย caitlyn: Jesus, donโt be stubborn.ย
The messages continue on like a flood, piling onto your guilty conscience until the notification ringing becomes all too much, making you flick the silence button on your phone. The quiet doesnโt last long as you near the doors of the practice rink. Five players burst through the doors, a cluster of chaos and yells surrounding them before one girl, hair tied back into a dark brown bun, notices you.ย
โThat her?โ she whispers to her teammates, their backs facing you as they walk away, but they whip their heads around (noticeably at that) to get glances at you.ย
โDamnn.โ another draws out, earning a slap on her neck.ย
โHowโd Vi do that so fast?โ you hear another quip before they take a turn down the hallway.ย
You only smiled gently, rolling your eyes at the comments as your hand pushed open the door to the rink. At least you make a believable couple.ย
โYou know, my words were โyou could always go back to Kiramman, the pretty girl dumped herโ, not โyou should go bag your ex-flingโs ex-girlfriendโ. Theyโve been broken up for, what, two weeks? Does she even know about you and Cait?โ Abbyโs raspy voice fills the ice, making Vi shush her in annoyance.
โYes, of course she knows.โย
Thereโs a beat of silence, neither of the players move when the words of a lie fill the air.
โFuck fine. No, she doesnโt know yet. Iโm just waiting for a good time..โ Vi confesses, aimlessly kicking the ice.
โYou know this makes you messy, right?โ the strong blonde grinned.ย
โOh fuck off. Messy is pounding half the swim team.โ The pinkette sends an accusatory glance and Abbyโs raising her hands up in innocence with a shrug and a smug smile. She rounds the ice and stops in her tracks when you enter the room, glistening skin and a patient waiting look on your face.ย
She snickers, letting out a quick whistle as she skates towards the exit off the ice. โViolet,โ she coos in a sing-songy voice, โlook whoโs here for you.โย
The blonde waves goodbye to her friend once and sends you a wink before exiting the room.
Your hands are clasped behind your back as you take your time walking up to where the carpet and ice of the rink are separated. Realizing your limit, you lean your side against the entrance, looking at the athlete whose eyes are grazing over your attire painfully slow.
โYou want some skates?โ she finally speaks, eyes meeting yours with a glint.
You laugh gently. โHell no.โ She snickers along with you, removing her helmet to run a hand through her hair.ย
โSo youโve,โ you slightly raise your hand to point your thumb in the direction Abby and the other players exited, โyouโve told people already?โย
Worry flickers over her face, because for some reason she just canโt read you right like she can read other girls and it drives her insane.ย
โYeah, something wrong with that?โ she asks cooly, placing her helmet back on the pink fluff as she glides around.
You bite the inside of your cheek in thought, finally shaking your head. โNo, no I mean thatโs the whole point, for people to know.โ you hum.ย
โBut I have to ask, why are you doing this?โ
Vi stops in her tracks, body turning to face yours from feet away.ย
She contemplates it, telling you the truth. That sheโs infatuated with and intrigued by you. That youโve completely ruined hookups and โcrushesโ for her because she canโt get you out of her head. And maybe she doesnโt know you too well just yet, but sheโs going to. And yes, she used to fuck your ex girlfriend way before you were even girlfriends, but it has absolutely nothing to do with the bond she wants to have with you, and she prays it doesnโt affect deem her unreliable.ย
Yet none of that can come out of her mouth. So, she settles on her practiced lie and prays whoeverโs up there doesnโt look down on her for it.
โCoach doesnโt like my reputation for โgetting aroundโ. Says it just doesnโt look good. Being with you gives me some cover.โ She talks smoothly, making sure thereโs not a hint of guilt behind her voice, because it's a lie. Coach Talis couldnโt care less about what sheโs doing in her free time as long as she shows out on the ice.ย
You only hum and nod.
You donโt notice how close sheโs gotten until sheโs there, staring down at you. Her musk and amber scent is intoxicating, seeping into your nostrils while powder blue eyes catch yours through her helmet andโ is it possible she looks better than you remember?
โThe letter,โ you sputter out, mentally cringing as the pinkette raises a brow. โCan I see the letter again?โย
Sheโs cheesing, reaching into the pocket of her pants to whip out the neatly folded paper and.. is she just keeping that on her?ย
As if she can read your mind and wide eyes, she speaks. โJust knew youโd want it,โ she explains, placing it between your waiting fingers. She watches as you unfold the paper and look up at her. Thick silence fills the air before the athlete gets the hint, blinking twice with a nod. โRight, sorry,โ Vi apologizes simply before skating off.ย
You take a deep breath, heart swelling the same way it did when you first wrote this sweet confession.ย
My dearest Violet,
Do you remember Ximena Talisโs creative writing class in junior year? You acted so uninterested in each lesson when your teammates were around, but while they were busy skipping class, you were sticking your nose in the next Shakespeare play or Edgar Allen Poe poem. You shared your own writings with a bored look painting your face and an awkward laugh spilling from your throat (although, they really werenโt that bad). But when I stood in front of our peers and performed my spin on โAnnabel Leeโ, you rose to your feet in applause. Iโll always be grateful that it was you who gave me my first standing ovation. Because in that moment I knew, from my happily raised eyebrows down to the shuffling of my nervous feet, that I love you Violet Vanderson. I really, really love you.ย
When I sat back down in my seat, you slipped a pink sticky note back onto my desk. Gentle handwriting and a sweet smiley face in the corner decorated the words โthat was amazing, how do you write so well?โ. Iโd never had my heart pound harder, never felt my palms sweatier or my spirits higher. As each day passes, I hope youโll look at me with the same rose colored glasses as you did that class. I dream each night with my lovestruck brain of you taking me by the hand and asking me to be forever yours. Iโll be waiting, no matter how long it takes.
- forever yours, ____
It doesnโt take long before you get that warm and fuzzy feeling, the same one that caressed your body while you wrote this very letter. It takes even less time for it to be replaced with soul eating shame that has you wanting to curl into a ball.ย
โYouโve always been a good writer,โ she calls out, nearing you. โI meant it when I said it.โย
โ..I know,โ you agree, a smile forming against your will.ย
Viโs grinning at your sass, and damn is the only word that fills her brain. โHow are things with Kiramman?โ she asks gently.
โShe just doesnโt believe me. Sheโs texted a thousand times since yesterday and is totally convinced I want her back.โ you roll your eyes in exhaustion.
โDo you?โย
You pause at her question, because underneath that carefree and playful persona hides a hint of worry behind Viโs voice, and itโs fueling the curiosity within you. โWhy are you asking?โ
A beat passes. โJust wanna know how humiliated Iโll be after all of this,โ the pinkette admits.
Her confession makes you laugh and shake your head. โI wouldnโt do that to you,โ you hum. โI broke up with Caitlyn and thatโs that. If it takes a fake relationship and a little pda for her to see that then so be it.โย
Vi nods, making sure not to let the smile sheโs feeling creep onto her face.ย
โSo you like writing, youโre smart as hell, you dress real cute,โ she points a finger up and down your outfit and you tilt your head. โAnything else I should know about you or our little.. ordeal?โย
You tongue your cheek in silent thought before replying.ย
โYou canโt kiss me.โย
That has Viโs brain short circuiting, because the image youโve set in her mind from those words alone is sparking a crimson glow across her face andโ fuck she shouldnโt be thinking about this. But she had to admit (to herself, not out loud of course), sheโd have no problem with running her lips across yours if you asked for it.ย
โDid Kiramman not kiss you, angel?โ โSheโd have to be a fucking idiot not toโ is the next thing that wants to come out of her mouth, but she settles for a soft tease. โThatโs a couples thing, if you didnโt know.โย
โWe kissed, obviously.โ You cross your arms as you speak. โYou canโ yโknow, hold me, kiss my.. anywhere else.โ Both you and Vi feel a shift. Damn, are ice rinks always this warm? โJust, no real kissing. Itโs too personal.โย
Vi gently nods, slipping out a soft โalrightโ because you have a good point.ย
She moves forward to step off the ice, placing a firm hand on your waist to gently guide you out of the way as she passes. Your body tenses at the touch, whipping your head towards the girl in surprise.
The pinkette notices, and she knows she shouldnโt chuckle at it, but she does. โIf itโs gonna take โa little pdaโ, you might wanna get rid of that before this weekend,โ sheโs speaking cockily as she nears her bag, her helmet coming off for good.
You clear your throat. โWhatโs this weekend?โ
โParty โm takinโ you to. Think of it as our couples debut.โ And Vi loves the surprised little look on your face as you ask her if thatโs โreally necessaryโ.
โYou really think anyones gonna believe weโre together if Iโm at a party all by myself? Whoโs gonna fight off all the girls craving my attention, sunshine?โย
You wonder if the notorious smirk on her face is permanent as she slings her practice bag on a sculpted shoulder as she moves to tower over you, the cool air of the rink becoming very present.
โSo youโre coming, yeah?โย
Your eyes travel from hers to the empty space beside her in thought.ย
โOf course.โ
โYouโre sure itโs not too boob-y?โย
You tug at your low cut top, half yelling over the chaos of other students to your roommate whoโs eyeing you like your one head has turned into five.ย
โWait, you didnโt want it to be โboob-yโ? Practically wearing a bra,โ she yells back with a knowing smile, sipping from the red cup that quickly found her hands. At the sight of your worry, her smugness turns to playful comfort. โCome on, youโre at a frat not a damn funeral. You look sexy.โ
โSheโs right.โ
The raspy voice behind you is unfamiliar, sending a soft chill down your spine that turns you on your heels.ย
Youโre met with a tall, muscular, brownskin woman. Half of her hair is pulled back, and loose strands fall to decorate her face that holds piercing eyes which are completely directed on you. Youโve seen her before for sure, but her name is the last thing on your mind as her eyes trail over every inch of your exposed skin.ย
โSevika,โ she tells lowly, placing a red cup between your manicured fingers to which you scoff under your breath.ย
You give her the benefit of the doubt.ย
โ___,โ you offer your name, looking for any hint of recognition on her face, and you get it when she smirks and tilts her head.ย
โI know who you are, beautiful,โ she purrs.
โThen you also know Iโm Viโs girlfriend?โ you throw back. The words feel completely foreign on your tongue, but come out so awfully right.ย
The ravenโs eyebrows raise right before she huffs out a laugh of disbelief, sipping from whatever mixture graced the cup in her hand. โGirlfriend?โ she repeats. โShit, with the way she was talking about you, I thought you were just a hookup.โย
The airโs suddenly much thicker, tenser, and you donโt have much time to process what Sevika just laid upon you before pink hair makes its way through the crowd.
โThereโs my girl,โ Vi calls out as she nears you, her sweet words cutting the tension like a knife. โBeen looking all over for you,โ she speaks as gently as she can in the atmosphere, completely ignoring the presence of her teammate.
โHi,โ you simply let out. Your knees feel weak and you think maybe youโre not cut out for this, because the pinkette slides a warm hand around your waist and places a chaste kiss down on your bare shoulder.ย
Sheโs pulling back from your skin when her eyes land on the cup in your hand, a confused glint in her eye as she squints. โThought you drove?โ The calloused fingers tracing meaningless patterns on your skin and soft breathy words hitting your face from just inches away make you feel like Melting. Whatโd she ask again?
โNo,โ is all you manage to stammer out, shifting in the girlโs arms until the right words form in your head. โNo this isnโt mine.โ youโre mentally facepalming.
Viโs eyes flicker from you, to the cup, to Sevika, finally piecing together her part in this. The athlete stands a bit taller, gently taking the drink from your hands and shoving it against Sevikaโs chest. Some of the liquid splashes over the cup, leaving droplets of a stain on the angry womanโs shirt.
Sevikaโs slowly taking the cup without breaking eye contact. Her gaze is sharper than daggers as Violet huffs out a scoff, her grip on your waist more present as she guides you away from the brute and through the crowd of partygoers.ย
โIโm sorry about her. One asshole of a teammate.โ Viโs words kiss your ear to avoid yelling as she walks. โYou okay?โ she asks slightly softer, which earns her a nod and quick โyeahโ. The pinketteโs hand snakes from around your waist down to grab one of yours, holding you tightly as you worm your ways through the horde.ย
As you exit the crowd your left arm finds its way to wrap around her right, placing your free hand lazily on her bicep, because if you had to feel her fingertips on your skin anymore youโd faint. The pair of you walk through the spacious backyard, decorated with a pool, groups of your classmates, and a cluster of hockey players lounging on some couches that circle a fire pit.ย
โYou ready?โ She whispers softly.
โReady,โ you reply with a smile that turns into an โoโ shaped mouth, big worried eyes capturing VIโs. โThey wonโt ask me about hockey, right?โย
The girl lets out a sweet, genuine laugh, and so cute is what sheโs mentally replying.ย
โThere you are!โ Abby calls out as soon as the two of you are in her vision. The rest of the team follows, greeting both you and Vi, throwing her smirks or nods of approval when you have your focus elsewhere. Vi sits, sprawling out against the couch with her legs perfectly spread for you. As if it were natural, her hands find their way around your hips and she guides you down into her lap.ย
And you hate it.ย
Not the feeling of her firm chest against your back, not her warm legs encasing your bare and crossed ones, not even the way she wraps her muscular arms around your torso and places her head so close to yours.ย
You hate how normal sheโs making all of this feel, how your brain is being fried with each touch, but your faux girlfriend doesnโt seem to be bothered one bit. And youโre starting to wonder if itโs a problem.ย
โHowโd you two even meet? Didnโt you and the chick from the basketball team just break up?โ one of her teammates questions you with a raised brow.ย
Fuck is all your brain renders, and you hope the shock didnโt show on your face becauseโ
โIโve had the hots for her since high school, thought it was time to do something about it,โ Vi replies. A proud feeling washes over her when your body relaxes in her arms.
Youโre gently squeezing her arm twice, thankful that sheโs such a great actor. Sheโs running her thumb against your skin, thankful that you canโt read minds.ย
A few sweet nods and noises of approval are let out before Abby speaks up. โโThe hotsโ? What are you, fifty?โ She jokes, earning a grinning โfuck offโ from Vi.ย
The teammatesโ conversation continues both with and without you, leaving moments for you to think of something โgirlfriendishโ to say or a new place on Viโs skin to touch. And then, it starts. Against Viโs rolling eyes and Eloraโs complaint that this is โso middle schoolโ, a game of truth or dare ensues. Ever the fun one, the blonde convinces everyone that itโll be fun, that itโs good to be childish every once in a while.ย
So far, Gertโs been dared to send an โi miss youโ voice note to her ex and is utterly ashamed, Abbyโs mouth tastes both bitter and spicy from the liquor concoction the teammates dared her to drink, another girl has been stripped down to her shorts and wife pleaser and shooed away from the fire to โendure the coldโ for ten more minutes.ย
When it comes to the other teammates, you donโt know how many โ___ and i bangedโ truths and โtake this many shotsโ dares you hear before itโs finally your turn.ย
โTruth or dare?โ Vi coos in your ear.
โTruthโโย
โDare?โ she cuts you off with a mean grin. โAlright, I dare you to jump into the pool. Right here, right now.โย
Your head whips towards the girl fast enough to send chills down the pinketteโs spine. The hockey team is whooping and cheering you on as Violet comes to a stand with your mid area still locked by her arms.ย
โNoโ noโ I said truth Vi!โ you sputter out. Your body and mind are moving at an astronomically slow speed because before you know it, Viโs scooping you off the ground and throwing you over her shoulder effortlessly. As she begins to walk, the hollering of the team growing in intensity, one of her warm hands lays at the back of your thigh, holding down the bottom of your already short skirt. The other trails its way down your leg and to your feet, slipping off your shoes and letting them fall with a plop.ย
โViolet Vanderson.โ you warn firmly, squirming in anticipation as you neared the icy blue water. Youโre feeling five emotions at once, and at the same time evaluating how much Caitlynโs perception on things truly matters, because youโre this close to firing your โgirlfriendโ.ย
When she suggested this entire ordeal you imagined itโd be standing together for an hour and dancing, going out for drinks once or twice, maybe even an instagram story or two.ย
You didnโt expect pool shenanigans, shoulder kisses, and powerful arms wrapped around your sides every two seconds. You didnโt expect to be having fun, let alone like it.ย
โPut me down!โ you yelp through rising giggles.
โA dareโs a dare, angel.โ she speaks lowly over her shoulder to you, whoโs dangling helplessly in her grasp. โCโmon, it looks good for us as a couple,โ she whispers.
โWait wait wait!โโย
Your last threat is drowned out as Vi jumps into the glowing blue.
โWonder how many people have had sex in here tonight,โ you joke through chattering teeth. Youโre holding your soaked hair together to the best of your ability as to not drench everything in your path, but truthfully, water is the cleanest thing to grace those frat floors. Vi trails right in behind you, snorting out a laugh as she leans against the closed door.ย
The pinkettโs pool stunt only had you upset for so long, mostly out of shock of her actually going through with it. However, once you rose to the surface of the water, the only things that could spill from your mouth were hearty giggles.ย
What made it ten times better was that people saw, Viโs teammates whooped while others just snickered at the โnew coupleโsโ playfulness.ย
What made it a hundred times better was Abby informing you of how pissed Caitlyn looked, staring at you and Vi before storming back the way she came from.ย
โEnough to start a new std?โ She flashes her pearly whites at her own joke.
โViolet!โ you cringe, making her chuckle.ย
As cold as your water-soaked clothing, skin, and drenched hair makes you, the athleteโs soft gaze is a lighter igniting a blaze in the pit of your stomach. For the first time in a long time, protected by the walls of someoneโs room, youโre able to explore her face.ย
Perfect, full brows are intercepted by a slit with one to match down on the the left of her rosy lips. Sweet freckles dance on and around her nose, and gosh sheโs pretty. Itโs the same face youโd admired years ago, but you still look at her as if youโve discovered her beauty all over again. You stand there attempting to pinpoint what shade of blue her eyes are when she finally speaks up.ย
โHere,โ the athlete steps closer, taking off her thick black coat and handing it over sheepishly. โCanโt do anything about your skirt, but I thought these would help.โ A hint of blue and white fabric peeks out from underneath, and you unravel it to reveal a jersey. One of her jerseys.ย
Thereโs a glint of suspicion in your eye, and Violetโs in fear.ย
โYou just.. keep this in your car? All the time?โ You question with a perfectly raised eyebrow.ย
Vi clears her throat. Because no, no she doesnโt. She just had to do something to get you in her clothes.ย
A beat passes with no response, and finally the pinketteโs eyes are flickering around the room before she turns. โIโll let you get changed.โย
The doorโs opening and closing before you can protest, and itโs finally safe for that suppressed smile to grace your lips without shame.ย ย
It doesnโt take long for you to strip out of your sopping clothes and into the oversized comfiness of Viโs. You examine yourself in the full length mirror, fixing your wet hair to the best of your ability and running your hands over the warmth of the new clothing. It sMells just like Violet, and you convince yourself that you donโt care, but underneath that protective mask is the lovestruck teenage girl you once were.
Turning on your heels, you gather the wet bundles of fabric and head for the door when someone on the other side beats you to it.ย
Correction, the last person you want to see beats you to it.ย
Caitlynโs quick to step inside the room, closing the door with an indecipherable expression plastered on her face. Her brows furrow with more distaste than usual, and her once perfect navy blue locks now have strands messily shaken out of place. Your tongue is strangled by the bite of your teeth. It takes everything in you not to roll your eyes to the back of your head.ย
โViolet Vanderson?โ She wastes no time, chary eyes examining your face with crossed arms. โReally?โ
Youโre done holding back, so you scoff.
โYes, really. What, are you jealous?โ you quip. โYโknow what, donโt answer that. I already know.โย
She ignores the sassy remark. โIโm surprised you chose her, considering everything.โย
You raise an eyebrow in confusion. โConsidering, what exactly?โย
Caitlynโs poker face had been drilled into her since she was a kid, but the bluenette physically had to suppress the amusement from taking over her face when she realized: you had no clue.ย
โI just didnโt think she was your type, and that was awfully fast,โ she saves.ย
โI didnโt cheat on you, if thatโs what youโre insinuating.โ You spit the words like they burn on your tongue as impatient hands come up to rest on your hips.ย
โIโm insinuating that I donโt believe whatever this is.โย
That has you pausing. Your face, demeanor, and attitude all stay the same, but you both notice the shift in the air.ย
โI think you realize you messed up when you broke things off, and now youโre playing hard to get.โ She continues, stepping forward as her toned arms fall to her sides.ย
โThereโs no need to play games with me, you know.โย
Caitโs look is condescending, and it only pisses you off more when her hand reaches out to caress yours. The perfect persuasion, an easy fix to all of her problems when the utter of her surname isnโt quite enough. But youโre not easy, and you didnโt mess anything up. So you quickly swat it away, sneering as you step around the tower of a girl and towards the door.ย
โGet over yourself, Caitlyn.โย
You exit the room with blood red vision, a fury which follows you on your journey to find Mel in the drunken crowd and pull her to the front while Vi offers to walk both of you to your car.ย
And in your red haze, you miss the eye contact Caitlyn and Sevika make from across the crowded room.ย
Sweat is dripping from the athletesโ foreheads down to the stretch of their neck as Talis blows his whistle, allowing the players to catch their breaths.ย ย
Normally, Vi would be more than willing to stay longer than the scheduled practice time. Running fun drills with Abby, racing Gert, whatever the matter may be. Hockey is her thing.ย
But, at the moment, youโre also โher thingโ. And right now you were patiently waiting in your apartment for Vi to make an appearance. A friendly one, of course. Away from watching eyes and overwhelming questions, where you could discuss your next moves in peaceโas peaceful as you could get with the muscular tease looking at you as if you were a star to wish on at night.ย
So she keeps her mouth shut and her eyes trained on Coach Talis (whoโs giving some end-of-practice spiel) as Sevika glides up next to her.
She keeps her mouth shut as the brute lets out a soft scoff at how hard Viโs trying to ignore her.ย
She has to bite hard on her tongue when the woman mutters something about the pink-haired athlete needing to โgive up while sheโs still aheadโ.ย
And her mouth opens immediately when your name falls from Sevikaโs lips. โ___, she really is somethinโ huhโ?โย
โDonโt fuck with me, Sevika,โ she threatens, a tad louder than expected. Their stubborn gazes stay locked on one another, and Sevikaโs letting out a scoff while squaring her firm shoulders.
โOr what?โ the raven throws back, intimidation oozing from her presence.
โHey! What did I say?โ The bubble of their rivalry is popped as Coach Talis raises his voice.ย
โThatโs it. Bag skates.โย
[REDACTED]: you sure thisโll work?ย
When Vi finally shows up at your sun-glistening apartment, her hair is wet from the quick shower she took, sheโs a total blubbering mess about how sheโs crazy sorry and feels terrible for making you wait an extra hour, and sheโs holding one cup of coffee that looks exactly like the one you always order.
โVi, seriously itโs okay,โ you chuckle, and the girl deflates in soft relief. A smile sweet as honey graces your face and Vi finally figures it out: youโre just an angel in disguise.
You reach over from your seat on the couch to take the cup of coffee from her hand. Itโs your order to a T, and the sip you take sends a cold trail of liquid down your throat and into the warmth of your stomach.ย
โMmm,โ you hum, making Vi malfunction when you lick the remnants from your lips. โDid you chug yours on the way?โ you ask.
Perfect blue eyes blink twice while Violet calculates the odds that youโll say yes if she were to suggest you drop the whole act and venture off on a real date right now.ย
โOhโ hell no. I canโt stand coffee. I just went to get you one,โ she hums without thought. Fifty-five percent chance, not good enough.ย
โAgain, Iโm sorry. Sevikaโs been more of an asshole than usual. Made us run back and forth on the ice until we practically collapsed. Donโt know what the hell she was thinking though, almost missed her shift at that rink..โ Violet continues on with conflicted brows furrowing and a hardened gaze. But just like waves washing away at imperfections in grainy sand, the awestruck glimmer in your eyes wipes the fury from her blood.ย
โYou went just for me?โ the question comes out almost as a whisper.
Violet swears she can feel her heart Melting from your actions, and the feeling bubbles its way up as words in her throat. โOf course.โ
Itโs left at that. Of course, a declaration that it was common sense sheโd be of service to you even behind the scenes. Neither of you dare to ask or explain why. For a moment, thereโs no words. Just the soft sensation of little breaths, beating hearts, and wandering gazes, but only for a moment.
โCait doesnโt believe us,โ you spill.
Vi can only huff gently, shifting in her seat as her spread legs move a bit wider.ย
โSheโs smart, Iโll give her that.โ Vi hums in thought. The cogs in her brain get distracted and come to a halt when she sees the glistening worry in your orbs, and without thought, her hand is coming up to hold your chin, guiding it to connect your gazes.
โHey, weโll fix it, alright?โ She reassures, and a thumb glides over your cheek. The moment is tender, something deep and sweet, but it doesnโt take long for the both of you to pull back as your eyes flicker anywhere else.ย
โWe just need toโฆ to up our game.โ At the sight of your confused eyes, she continues. โGive me your phone,โ Vi instructs softly, holding her hand out.
You simply obey, placing the device in her hand with a slight squint in your eyes.ย
All uncertainty is replaced with giggles and content when Vi holds up the camera. Her left hand holds the phone while her right arm lifts into frame next to her face and flexes, revealing the entirety of her sculpted muscles.ย
Jesus, your mind betrays you.
After the snap of the camera, the pinkette hands the device back to you.ย
โMake it your lock screen,โ she speaks so casually, like the idea behind these actions have no effect on her whatsoever. A black cased phone is then slid into your hands, and big powder-blue eyes are staring at you expectantly.ย
โOh, you want..โ you internally cringe at the stammer.ย
โOf course, needa see your face too.โ she states with a grin.
Youโre nodding at that, as if a swarm of what you think are butterflies arenโt rummaging around in your gut. Raising the camera in your manicured fingers, you snap a photo mocking Viโs. More kissy face, less muscles. The athlete has the biggest grin as she takes the device back, and with a โthereโ, your face isย blessing her lockscreen.ย
โSo, should I book our room at Mt. Sky, or do you want to?โ Her eyes are trained on your face as she drapes both swole arms across the back of the couch.ย
You do nothing to hide the surprise on your face. With crisp frosty air, a winter wonderland of snow, and more unplanned pregnancies and sexual noise complaints than any of the campusโs frat parties, Mt. Sky was the unofficial University of Piltover ski trip of the year. Athletes, hookups of athletes, curious freshmen, and anyone who concerned themselves with campus drama banded together for a few days of thrillingly-messy paradise.ย
โYou wanna share a room?โ you ask with raised brows, because โwait, weโre going?โ seems out of the question.
The pinketteโs lips curl into a smile, one that flashes the white of her teeth as blue orbs flicker down and up your frame once.
โYeah, I do.โย
The short silence that follows is smothering, and you swear the room just got a hundred degrees hotterโbecause thereโs the same tease you remember fantasizing over as your pink glitter pen graced the paper of her letter.ย
โItโd be weird if we didnโt,โ she explains. โWouldnโt just be Cait questioning us, itโd be everybody,โ she tilts her head, and youโre snapped back to the reality of your situation. Fake.ย
Youโre not looking at the freckled girl as you hum with a nod.ย
That has the athleteโs suave persona faltering. A rough hand snakes up to gingerly move a piece of hair from your face. Sheโs barely touching you, as though youโre more fragile than glass in her grasp.ย
โWe donโt have to, if you wanna room with Mel that badlyโโย
โโNo, no I think we should,โ you reassure with a smile, because you do want to, more than you probably should, but your brainโs having a very hard time deciphering fantasy from reality.ย
Itโs her turn to hum, and that tender hand doesnโt leave your face, it only stills as you turn your head completely towards her.ย
โYou donโt have to do that when weโre in private,โ you refer to her wandering hands with a gentle tone. Viโs eyes soften into something raw and real as she lulls out a response.
โDoesnโt hurt to get comfortable with each other. Right, sunshine?โ
Wrong.ย
Because it could hurt. It could wound the both of you and cause an ache like never before. Becauseโadmittedlyโyou donโt know what youโre feeling right now. But more importantly, you donโt know what Violetโs feeling. You had her all figured out at seventeen, but now, youโre unsure of how gentle or reckless sheโd be with your heart.
And still, against all the skepticism your brain concocts, you agree.ย
โRight.โย
[REDACTED]: Of course Iโm sure. Just do what I ask and weโll both get what we want.
โLate again?โ Finn coos, a teasing expression on the ravenโs face.ย
โAnother run in with pinkie,โ Sevika smirks, almost seeming proud.ย
The man shakes his head with a smile before placing a handful of mail on the counter in front of the pair. โYou mind?โ
A groan falls from Sevikaโs lips as her gaze flickers between him and the letters. โBut I haveโโ
โPlease?โ the man asks, already inching away from the space. โI just have to deal with something.โ
Before she can argue further, Finn thanks her and rushes off towards the rink. The womanโs left muttering swears and rolling her eyes as she rummages through the envelopes filling her space.ย
To: Polar Peaks, To: Polar Peaks, To: Sky Young, To: Polaโ
She blinks once and her firm hands come to a pause before her fingers are backtracking to a chestnut brown envelope, covered in hearts and kiss marks.ย
Sevikaโs huffing out a laugh of disbelief. Her eyes trail over every inch of the sickeningly sweet decor. The recipient address is the ice rink, just like the rest of the pile, and the womanโs intrigue only grows as her eyes trail to the top left corner. To the sender. To you.ย
โMy favorite energy drink?โ Vi throws out.
โBerrybulls, specifically the yellow and amber ones.โ you quip with confidence, smiling when Vi nods in content.ย
A lightbulb flickers across the pink haired girlโs face, and she stops in her tracks, unintentionally pulling you back. Youโre standing still now, and as the frigid air threatens to consume your body, the reminder that your hands are intertwined with one another spreads warmth throughout your core. You let yourself forget that itโs for show, and enjoy it.ย
โVi?โ you question, stepping a bit closer.ย
โThis oneโs important,โ her tone is more serious, and her eyes meet yours as she takes a deep breath.
โWhatโsโฆ my coffee order?โย
โOh my goshโโ a joking scoff falls from your lips, and youโre gently shoving the laughing girl as you pull her to continue walking. The warmth of hand holding can only do so much to combat standing still in the chill of winter air.ย
โCโmon sunshine, weโve learned all there is to know. Besides, you really think anyoneโs gonna come up and start quizzing us?โย
โNo,โ you admit as Vi holds you closer with a hand around your waist while more pedestrians enter and exit the sidewalks. โBut I think itโs good to know just in case. Besides, I like learning about you.โย
โOh yeah?โ she coos. You hear a phone buzz once.ย
โYeah,โ you let out with a giggle. Another buzz, and youโre reaching into your back pocket and tapping on the screen to revealโฆ nothing.ย
kiramman: You have until the end of the trip. kiramman: If you donโt tell her, I will.
Is it possible to feel complete peace and soul-shredding anxiety simultaneously?ย
On one hand, youโre having the most fun youโve had in a long time. The drive to the resort with Melโand her newfound friend Eloraโ was filled with guttural laughter. The three of you screamed songs at such a volume youโre surprised the windows didnโt burst.ย
When you arrive, youโre trapped by the strong arms of Abby whoโs lifting you into the air with her hug. Vi has to be the one to mutter โThatโs enough, Abs..โ, earning a laugh from the surrounding teammates, who are quick to tug you and your friends into conversation.ย
Thereโs arms around your waist and a bulky body encasing yours while you sit around a fireplace, quiet giggles to each other when youโre bored of the group conversation, and a sweet goodbye kiss to your forehead when Vi and her peers leave to ski. The day progresses perfectly.ย
On the other hand, you can feel as Caitlynโs eyes follow you. A predator stalking its prey. And even though youโre not afraid of the girl, you wonder what itโs going to take for her to throw in the towel.ย
โWas the sex that good?โ Melโs golden eyes are both teasing and genuinely questioning you.ย
โYouโre unbelievable,โ you throw back with a laugh.ย
โIโm serious, why is she so persistent? Does your tongue have a built in vibrator?โโ
โMel!โย
Sheโs giggling with you now, face falling into the plush of the king sized bed youโre both sprawled out on.ย
โBy the way, watch out. Your girlfriendโs biggest fan decided to show up this year,โ she flips over onto her back, head tilted to look at you with a pityingโbut still undeniably smugโexpression.
โSevika?โ you whine and she nods. โShe never comes to Mt. Sky. Sheโs just... anti-fun.โย
Mel hums. โA refined Kiramman has turned into a borderline stalker, Sevika Grove is coming on ski trips, whatโs next? Aliens?โ
โSurprised the aliens weren't first.โย
Your giggles are cut short as Elora knocks at your already open door, and Melโs swiftly coming to a stand.ย
โTalk to you later?โ she offers, and you smile with a nod.ย
The tranquility of an empty room only lasts so long, because within seconds, Vi is bursting into the space and hastily shutting the door. You hear the click of the lock and jolt up with confusion written across your face.ย
โVi? Whatโsโโย
โCaitโs on her way up here,โ she speaks with haste.
โI could talk to her, if you want. Just say the word,โ Vi offers, and thereโs no time to overanalyze the tightness in your chest at the idea of the pinkette protecting you.ย
Thousands of possibilities fly throughout your racing brain. Talking went in her ear and out the other (or, rather, around her head entirely), and going radio silent only amplified her stubbornness. The way you see it, the only thing left to do is play Caitlynโs petty game, to make it clear that the two of you were done.ย
Your brain is completely heated and fuzzy at the idea, but you have no time to waste as you hop off of the bed and over to the butch.ย
โWeโre gonna have sex,โ you state.ย
Viโs completely stopped working. Thatโs itโsheโs died. Sheโs died and gone to heaven. Thatโs the only plausible explanation forโ
โFake! Fake sex, I mean.โ
Well that makes more sense.ย
โFakeโwhat? Youโve gotta explain a little better than that,โ sheโs trying to suppress the color from showing in her cheeks, and a hand comes up to run through her hair.ย
โJustโโ you stammer, moving the girl by the arm so that youโre both a few feet away from the door, leaned up against the wall with Vi hovering over you. Your hand stays on her arm, which is gently placed on the side of your waist. The roomโs air grows thicker by the second, and tension oozes from every movement made.ย
โThis doesn't feel very fake, sweetheart.โ Her voice is lower, more sultry, and it sends a shiver straight up your spine.ย
โWeโre gonnaโฆโ gonna faint. The sound of footsteps power walking down the hallway throws your brain back into action. โJust follow my lead,โ you breathe.
The athleteโs in a state of utter confusion. Sheโs squinting harder than ever as you bite your lip, seemingly in thought, before you send a wave of pure shock throughout her core.ย
You moan.ย
Not a whine, not a whimper, not even a wince, a raw moan that compels something in her to twitch.ย
โViolet,โ youโre singing, eyes closed, and your head thrown to the side. Out of embarrassment or getting into character, sheโs not sure. Sheโs not sure of anything, quite frankly, because how on earth is she expected to think when youโre squealing her name like she owns you?
โOh yesโplease please,โ you coo. As if someone flipped a switch, youโre opening your eyes to look up at the athlete.ย
โSay something,โ you snap in a whisper.ย
Thereโs no wasted time, because Violetโs thoughts spill at your approval.ย
โSo fuckinโ pretty. Who knew your moans sounded so good, baby?โย
Youโre about to lose it. All sense of good judgmentโor whatโs leftโis flying out of the window and being replaced by the dirty haze of your mind. You canโt help the way your hand is gently trailing up Viโs arm and sliding down to rest against her abs. You donโt miss the way her grip around you tightens.ย ย
You expect her to be done, but Viโs kept these thoughts tucked away for way too long. If theyโd be of any service to you, she might as well let them out.ย
โBet she couldnโt fuck you like this, huh? No angel, she couldnโt.โย ย
A symphony of grunts, whimpers, and moans of passion decorate not only the room, but the ears of Caitlyn. Your navy haired ex lingers outside the door, seeing nothing but blood red as she listens to the noises you used to make for her. The noises Vi never made for her. The newfound passion that the pinkette pulled out of you, one that Cait never could.ย
With clenched, clammy fists and gritted teeth, Caitlyn reluctantly drags herself away from the door and down the hallway.ย
Like coming down from a high, shallow breaths fill yours and Viโs ears before all sounds subside. Neither of you dare to move as the clack of Caitlynโs feet storm down the hall and out of earshot. Colorful orbs stare down at the floor or up at the white ceiling, because theyโre suddenly oh so intriguing.ย
And maybe, just maybe, this is the moment you realize not everything is as imaginary as you thought.ย
Meanwhile, Viโs imagining what the hell sheโd say in this situation if her brain were computing. Because the sight of you throwing your head back in fake pleasure and spilling noises straight from your core was entirely soul-shifting.ย
And itโs different, to be seeing you this close. Granted, sheโs been closer. Graced the skin of your forehead or cheeks with her soft and scar-decorated lips more than once. But here, hovering over your softened body, her hand connecting to your waist with the gentlest of touches, and her eyes firmly memorizing every angle of your face, itโs different. Everythingโs softer, and Violetโs able to relish in your raw loving aura, rather than put on a performance for the skeptical eyes of others.ย
And then you laugh.ย
You laugh, and laugh, and laugh. So hard that you donโt notice the way Vi smiles, one that doesnโt quite meet her eyes.
And definitely, oh definitely, this is the moment she realizes sheโs undeniably smitten.ย
โThink weโll get the first noise complaint?โ You joke while coming down from your fit of laughter.ย
That pulls a laugh from Viโs throat, one that has her leaning forward with a deep breath after it bubbles out. The soft of her forehead tenderly meets yours, and the roomโs heart rate rises exponentially, but neither of you squirm out of your positions. Because this is exactly where you want to be.
You canโt see it as your eyelids flutter shut, but Viโs left hand wraps around your waist to meet her right, cradling you in a way thatโs so natural, so sweet, so real. A cradle that protects and shields you from forces you canโt handle alone. A shelter for disasters from tsunamis to the cold chill of winter. From pretending to be your girlfriend to replacing your wet party clothes, all the way back to being your first standing ovation. Vi is your refuge.ย
โThank you,โ you whisper, worried youโll crack the faultless atmosphere. โCanโt believe youโre putting up with thisโ with me.โย
Her grip lightly tightens. โIโd do it over and over again.โย
She would, and she will, if you let her.ย
You feel the truth in her words, and your eyes flutter open to pull back, just enough to look into those perfect blue specks.ย
The pair of you stay there for what feels like forever, examining the watercolor paintings that you call your eyes. Andโalthough she could stare at you for the rest of her lifeโVi physically canโt wait any longer. Like magnets, your lips are tugging her forward. Centimeter by centimeter. Inch by inch. Heads tilting, eyes half lidded, and breaths hitching. Vi can practically taste the plush of your feature whenโ
โYo! You guys in there?โ
Abbyโs fist thumps on the door three times. And as fast as you connected, youโre drifting apart.
you donโt care whether she knows or not. you just want her crawling back to you. not happening.ย kiramman: Iโll tell her.
โWould you rather go a month without sex, or a month without candy?โย
โWhat kind of stupid ass question is that?โ Vi throws at Abby, whoโs snobbishly leaning back in the heated water as if sheโd given the ultimatum of the century.ย
Her newest middle school party game is would you rather, and while Vi couldnโt care less about the event itself, sheโs secretly over the moon at the effort her teammates and close friends are making to connect with you.ย
โA month without candy,โ you cooly state as you look down at the water. Making the relationship more believable. Thatโs all you were doing.
That enables a chain of raised eyebrows and looks to Vi, whereas others let out sly whistles and snickers, throwing out little quips like โyou hear that, superstar?โ.ย
โAlright, alright,โ sheโs calming them with a tug at the corners of her lips and a roll of her eyes. You only snicker to yourself at the odds, as if you didnโt have sexโ fake sex with the girl minutes prior.
Leaning closer against Viโs skin, plush bodies warming each other in the bubbly heat of the hot tub, youโre almost completely relaxed. The outdoors is the perfect flaky winter wonderland you expected, cabins further out from the resort look like the coziest of all shelters, and the milky mountains in the distance tie the atmosphere together.ย
And while youโre focused on the landscape, Violetโs eyes are completely trained on you.ย
She examines the way you sit so properly in her lap, the way your legs squirmed as she slid her hands away from your thigh and around the small of your waist (so others could see your contact.. of course), how you get so comical and chattery once youโre finally comfortable in a group, and the angelic resting look on your face when youโre finally at ease.ย
And neither of you know it, but when the conversation is one that allows you to listen instead of talk, youโre both daydreaming about the endless possibilities of this night. The potential of this moment, as well as that of the countless others youโve had since this entire ordeal began.ย
Neither of you know it, but youโre both considering the idea that life could be like this all the time. The two of you snuggled up, surrounded by those cherished, laughing until you just canโt breathe.ย
A chin comes to rest gently on your right shoulder, and Viโs breath sends a shiver throughout your body faster than the crisp winter air ever could.ย
โDo you always sit with your legs crossed in pools?โ she teases, voice low, like sheโs sharing a secret with you. Only you.ย
โNo,โ you simply hum. Your tongue is prodding the inside of your cheek in thought, and you go through with the lightbulb in your head.ย
โItโs a great reminder of how dangerously close your hands are to my bikini though, isnโt it?โย
The pads of her fingers that were once tracing meaningless patterns on your waist come to a stop, and you can hear the smirk in Viโs voice.ย
โYou want me to move them?โ she breathes.
Your response is almost automatic.
โNo.โย
The conversation of what wouldโve happened if Abby hadnโt knocked on your door was yet to come, but the newfound tension and playfulness that spilled from both of your lips was undeniable.ย
Vi grins at your confidence, but underneath the suave persona, she knows youโll be the death of her.ย
โBold girl,โ she hums.
Youโre so trapped in your playful banter that you donโt notice the way the rest of your peers are leaving, running off towards a different attraction of the resort, only god knows what.ย
โYou were pretty convincing up there,โ your sly lips are curivng up at the corners. โYou have fake sex often?โ
โNothing fake about my sex.โย
Youโre snickering at her confidence, relishing in the way her arm hardens around you as she chuckles.ย
โDonโt get cocky. Iโm sure someoneโs had to fake-orgasm with you once.โ Maybe the lyingโs getting to you, because you know in your heart of hearts thatโs the furthest thing from the truth.ย
โYou really believe that?โ she speaks in a lower tone, head snaking around to make eye contact with you.ย
Like a clock rewinding, youโre seventeen again.ย
Not physically, nor mentally, but your full heart is pounding the same rhythm as when you first fell for the tough, pink haired beauty in your writing class. Your breaths are shallow, gazes locked, and the warmth between you is incomparable to any sensation youโve ever experienced prior.ย
โThought so,โ she brazenly states after your lack of words, and youโre smiling in thought before gently splashing water towards the smug girl, Melting her charming essence that has you by the throat.ย
Vi gasps through a laugh. Soon, sheโs threatening to splash you back while you laugh and squeal through your begs for mercy.ย
And although your vision isnโt flawless through the squinted happiness of your eyes, you can recognize that swinging navy blue hair approaching you.
Fuck.ย
โShe doesnโt give up,โ you think out loud, and Vi doesnโt need to waste energy on turning her head to register who youโre talking about.ย
You donโt see it through your irritated gaze, but Vi feels a jolt of worry crawl up her spine. While you worried about Cait smothering you for the rest of eternity, Viโs skin shivers at the idea of her place in your heart being twisted from one of love and trust to hatred.
She wants to tell you, wants you to make the conscious decision to love her despite any past affairs.
But she sure as hell wasnโt going to do it now, while youโre warming up on her water-covered body. And she sure as hell couldnโt let Caitlyn poison your mind with it.
So there she sits, staring into your soul with those loyal eyes that silently swear theyโd do anything for you. And, understandably, Vi makes all sense of good judgement Melt from your brain until itโs a useless pile of mush.ย
So when Cait nears, practically striding her way to your uneasy soul, you make a decision.ย
You kiss Violet.ย
Itโs a quick shift in atmosphere. One moment, your heart is beating out of fear, and the next itโs being thrashed around your chest by the ascended butterflies from your stomach. You turn in her lap to have easier access to her mouth, and the connection of your plush mouths is anything but fragile. Itโs messy, hungry, starved even. Your lips dance in unison, and Viโs sculpted arm wraps around you and gently holds the back of your neck. The way sheโs handling you coupled with the burning water is giving your body a fever.ย
You donโt know when Caitlyn sees you, how long she glares at your wet mouths and pressed bodies in pure anger, or how long it takes for her to storm off in defeat, because every inch of your mind is focused on the pinkette holding you as if youโre all she has.ย
And itโs this moment that you finally accept the truth thatโs kept itself hidden in your gut, you want her. And those sparkly powder-blue eyes are telling you that she wantsโneeds you too.ย
But when you slide your hand down to hers and shyly move her calloused fingers to what little fabricโs covering your chest, sheโs pulling back. Thereโs resistance in the movement, but she forces herself to disconnect from your wanting lips nonetheless.ย
โCanโt,โ she whispers, breathless.
You freeze, big dazed eyes blinking in confusion and embarrassment. โBut..โ is all you can muster before Vi opens her mouth.
โAngelโitโs not that I donโt want this, Iโm justโโย
The athleteโs rubbing her temples. Her mind, body, and heart must be at war inside of her, because each is telling her a different path to take, and she looks so conflicted as she speaks.ย
โYou donโt want this,โ she finally decides.
โWhat?โ is all you manage to choke out.ย
โYou donโt want this.โ she repeats, less convinced than the first time it left her lips.ย
You can only scoff, attempting to hide the bullet to your heart and ego.ย
โYou donโt know what I want,โ you counter, and the ache in your voice sends a crack through Viโs heart. โWhy are you denying this?โย
Because this is fake, a scheme to get your ex girlfriend off your back. Because I havenโt been completely honest with you, and for that I donโt deserve a sweet love like this. Not yet.ย
But instead of that, or even coming clean to you altogether, Vi sighs. And for the first time, her eyes are disloyal, looking anywhere but yours.ย
Youโre huffing, shoving stiff arms off of you. You pull yourself from the hot tub into the freezing air of the night, a replica of your once blazing heart turning ice cold.ย
โWhatever, Violet.โ you spit out, and just like that, youโre gone.ย
The debate over soul-shredding anxiety and complete peace has come to a halt, because the ache of a pummeled ego and a confused heart thatโs afraid to beat outweighs both.ย
You didnโt sleep in yours and Viโs shared room that night. Instead, you grabbed a pillow and stormed over to Mel and Eloraโs, who were happy to have you. Making up a lie about dying for a girlsโ night, you gossiped and giggled, arguably with a stronger poker face than the Kirammans, before a yawn finally slipped from Melโs mouth and exhaustion spread throughout the air.ย
At last, in the silence of night, salt ridden tears noiselessly slide down the bridge of your nose and pile onto the cool fluff of your pillow.ย
As if your lack of adequate sleep and racing mind didnโt have you at your wits end, the next day was twice as cruel on you. Ignoring one athlete was a walk in the park, but avoiding two, while trying not to raise suspicion, is just as hard as it sounds.ย
Caitlynโs in the hallway, so you rush to your room. Violetโs in the room, so you venture off to the spa with Mel and Elora. Caitlynโs entering the spa right before you finish up, so youโre suggesting a lap of skiing to the girls, but Viโs exiting the room in her snow gear when you near the door.ย
You just couldnโt win.ย
So when you hear the soft voice coming from the doorway, you donโt even bother to lift your body from the plush of your blanket.ย
โDonโt go,โ Vi pleads, gently shutting the wooden door and ridding herself of her puffy jacket.ย
The pinketteโs still, waiting for you to move, to do or say somethingโanything, but you do nothing of the sort. When she concludes itโs safe she takes small, soft steps towards the edge of your bed and you feel the mattress dip under pure muscle.ย
With still hands and a timid heart, Vi speaks the first words into the air.ย
โWell, we broke our little rule set.โ
Her playful smile is uneasy, one made when she examines your weary face too hard. And when she notices the lack of expression on your face, it flattens out into worried brows and soft lips.ย
โIโm sorry,โ slips from her lips, prompting you to turn your head towards the pinkette.ย
โStop. You donโt have to apologize for your feelingsโฆ or lack thereof,โ you whisper the last part as if itโs shameful.ย
With a sigh, you hoist yourself up to sit straight and lean against the decorative headboard. With fidgeting hands laid in your lap and eyes that travel anywhere but the anxious girl before you, you speak.
โI just thought that there wasโ something,โ you start. โAnd.. and maybe itโs stupid, but I thought that maybe all of this means something. Maybe my letters getting out wasnโt the worst thing, because maybe things between us could be exactly how I wanted when I was writing them.โย
Vi feels terrible for giving you emotional whiplash, but she canโt stand to see you beating yourself up over something you wantโ something the both of you crave: eachother.ย
Tender fingers snake their way up to your face and hook on your chin, tilting your head towards her alluring orbs.ย
โYou really believe that?โ she asks, eyes squinted.
โBelieve.. what?โย
โThat I donโt feel things for you?โ she asks like the answer is the most obvious thing in the world.
โI couldnโt tell you all the things you do to me. All the ways you make me feel,โ she slides the hand thatโs cupping your face to gently tap the side of your pretty little head.ย
โHere, and.. here,โ her finger grazes your skin as it skims down to tap once against your encaptured heart. โAndโฆ.โ
She cuts the sentence short, dropping her hand down to intertwine with one of yours, because youโre supposed to be having a serious conversation, so she needs to focus.ย
โYou do terribly good things to me, sweetheart.โย
โThen why did you push me away?โ you whisper to combat the rapid speed of your heart as adrenaline rushes through your veins from Viโs simple and sensual touches.ย
She contemplates it, ripping the bandage off and telling you the truth, she really does. Would it be that big of a deal? Would you take it with ease and laugh at her anxiety, caressing her like she dreams and letting her finally place a guilt-free kiss upon your soft lips? Or would you crumble at the news, and let the trust youโve built up shatter with it?ย
โI didnโt know whether it was real or not,โ she decides: a lie. โI know that the way my heart races for you is real, the realest thing there is. But I know itโs easy to get caught up in a fake high, and when you were kissing me I justโโ she sighs at the ramble, but the gentle squeeze you give her hand guides her through it.ย
โI just wanted to let you decide if this is really what you want. Not because of Cait or anyone else. Just you.โ
Sheโll tell you. Eventually. She silently swears it to herself.ย
But right now, Viโs looking at you the same way she did that day, and itโs suffocating.ย
Big pretty eyes examine every inch of you with that awestruck gaze, a child watching a shooting star pass by. Except this time, she wouldnโt let you leave.ย
This time, you, that creative girl with clammy palms and shy eyes, watching her bubblegum haired love give her a standing ovationโ that shooting star would come crashing down and right into the warm arms in which she belongs.ย
โThe love I have for you.. it never went away, it just transformed,โ you confess.
Violetโs once worried expression morphs. Sheโs still soft, still trapped in the beautiful moment, but thereโs a newfound confidence behind her demeanor.ย
โThe love I have for you has stayed the same. Ever since that stupid writing classโโ you giggle at her words, and she does the same, โI think Iโve loved you for years. Itโs left such an ache in my heart, baby.โย
Thereโs a glitch somewhere in your brain, because the athleteโs words mixed with your newest nickname is causing a system overload.ย
Youโre suddenly very aware of the amber musk filling your nostrils, and Viโs proximity has you squirming, soft hand gently squeezing at hers which carresses you so gingerly. Youโre trapped between the headboard and her oh-so-close body, and itโd be a lie to say any part of you is complaining.ย
โI can.. I can make that ache go away,โ you whisper, shy head tilting as you wait for her approval.ย
The suave, player-like girl is back in full force. With a notorious smirk in place, sheโs leaning closer, tilting her head opposite of yours and lining up her plush lips with yours.ย
โYeah, you can.โย
Thatโs all it takes for your lips to come crashing together at full force. Itโs messy, loving, and infuriatingly sexy all at once, and you donโt have any brain power left to think about it. All of your energy, every bit of your soul is being put into showing this girl how you really feel.ย
The atmosphere feels heavier and lighter simultaneously in the best way possible. Viโs kissing you like youโre the air she needs to breathe, and drinking you in like your mouth is water and the torturous years leading up to this have taken place in the desert.ย
For the first time, the pair of you silently agree that this is real. Real touches, real passion, real tongues gliding against one another, and real desire for more.ย
You hum into Viโs mouth as she ravishes you, and your hands find their way to tangle in her fluffy scalp as she effortlessly switches places with you and lifts you into her lap while she relaxes back against the headboard. You canโt help but chuckle as her hands move to cup the fat of your ass, causing her to grin through kisses until you finally stop, because your lips are practically peppering her teeth.ย
โWhatโs so funny?โ you ask through a snicker. Vi shakes her head, sneaking kisses down your jaw and the stretch of your neck.ย
โNothinโ, I just donโt want this to end,โ she confesses, ending with a tender kiss to your collarbone.ย
An uncontrollable smile fights its way onto your face.ย
โWell Iโm not going anywhere,โ you assure.
She nods, wrapping strong arms around your torso to pull your body as close to hers as possible.ย
โNeither am I, sunshine.โย
Violetโs learned three new things since you fell asleep in her arms.ย
One, youโre a cuddler. Every inch of you has touched, skimmed, or wrapped around the butch since you laid upon the soft matter of the bed. Her favorite position is when you curl yourself up against her chest and slide a leg inbetween hers to let them intertwine.
Two, every inch of you still smells like that perfect mixture of cotton candy and strawberry she remembers from years ago.ย
And three, sheโs completely whipped for you. For your brain, your voice, the giggles you make between kisses, the way you give your all to her, and donโt get her started on your body. Sheโs got it bad.ย
So, the struggle she faced when she had to snake out of your grasp was ultimately the hardest thing sheโs done in her entire life.ย
The love-hazed girl didnโt bother to do anything but slip on some shoes and run a hand through her hair, because within minutes sheโd be right back next to you where she belongs.ย
At least, that was the plan.ย
She doesnโt know why the loud cacophony of cackles catches her attention, because she knows how obnoxious her teammates can be, but it does. She lazily turns her head once, letting it lull back before the alarm of confusion goes off in her brain, and sheโs turning towards the sound once again.ย
Sevika, a few members of the basketball team, and some others she doesnโt recognize, all sit against the couches and chairs in the lounging area. But thereโs no relaxation in the way they rest against the furniture. Each is laced with anticipation, and their eyes all lay on the buff brownskin girl whoโs smirks as if sheโs discovered a pot of gold.ย
โYour voice of honey soothes my soul, and the picture of delicate curls falling to frame your face as you lift me onto my feet will stay forever plastered in my mind,โ the woman spits.
The words are so sensual, so raw, so genuine, filled with nothing but passion, but Sevikaโs interpretation does it no justice.ย
And Violet knows exactly who wrote those words of desire.ย
Her feet move quicker than sheโs ever felt the need to before.ย
When she nears the group, a face of pure determination, she spots it. A brown envelope, decorated with a bow and pretty hearts accompanied by a single kiss mark. So similar to the one you made for Vi all those years ago.ย
โThereโs the woman of the hour,โ Sevika taunts loudly, leaning back in her seat. Her fingers tap the letter in her hands against her own thigh, a reminder that your past words of hope and love still lie with her. โOr, would you be the second? Noโฆ no, thatโd be this uh, Skye, huh?โย
Sevikaโs smile is poisonous, infecting Violet with a rage sheโs never experienced before.ย
โWhat are you doing with that?โ Viโs practically seething, eyes trained on the brown paper between Sevikaโs fingers.
โFound it on the ground, guess it slipped away from your girl before she could mail it off to her secret lover,โ she lies, throwing her hands up in faux innocence.ย
โI swear to Godโ fucking give it to me, and Iโll forget this happened.โ
โAnd youโll forget that sheโs dreaming of someone elseโs mouth?โ The burly woman scoffs, coming to a stand directly infront of Violet. The space between them is thinning, disintegrated by rageful tension.
โSeriously, I donโt see why youโre going through all this trouble for a whore, pinkie.โย
Faster than anyone in the room can register, Viโs fist comes up to smash into Sevikaโs jaw. The slam is loud, echoing throughout the room until it creates a stunned silence.
Sevikaโs hand comes up to hold her jaw, craning it as the metallic taste of blood sets itself on her tongue.ย
Within seconds, sheโs lunging right at Vi. Their fists look like skin colored blobs in the air from how fast they land punches to one anotherโs guts. Theyโre thrashing around in anger, threatening the space they reside in, before four onlookers break them apart.
Some whoop and holler, others laugh and speculate exactly who โwonโ, but neither of the girls care. Through their heavy panting and darkened gazes, theyโre only focused on one thing: the brown envelope that now lies between Viโs fingers.ย
With a cocky, bruised grin and the satisfying drug of adrenaline, Violet turns on her heels and stumbles out of sight.ย
[REDACTED]: listen, toots. i have a better plan.ย โฆ [REDACTED]: Iโm listening.ย
With the way neither of you dare to move, any third party would think the two of you are paralyzed; and you are, by love.
Itโs been five minutes since youโve woken up, and Viโs sweet gaze keeps you in a warm, butterfly inducing trance. Neither of you move from your position in the bed, savouring deep synced breaths, snuggling under the blankets, and wrapping around one another. Youโre sticking together like your feelings are superglue.ย
Finally, one of the pinketteโs hands rubs at the small of your back, drawing sweet nothings on your dimples and the line that trails up your perfect torso.ย
โI havenโt slept that long in ages,โ you hum, making Violet pull you just a bit closer.ย
โMaybe you should sleep with me every night,โ she concludes, sending you a smile that has you giggling with a little โoh sureโ.ย
She sees your sweet bubble of happiness wobble when your eyes squint at the sight of her chin, now decorated with a blossomed bruise. A soft hand comes up to graze the purple mark as you ask, โWhen did that happen?โย
As fast as the pinkette opens her mouth to speak, it shuts. Because she definitely canโt tell you that Sevikaโs tried to embarrass you by reading one of your old love letters to a group of your classmates. Why has she become more of a pain now than ever? Vi hasnโt figured that out yet. But she has come to one conclusion: worrying you wouldnโt do any good. What you didnโt have to know, you wouldnโt.ย
She quickly takes your wandering hand in hers, intertwining fingers and giving them a little squeeze.ย
โIโm fine, sunshine. Got up all hazy last night to turn the light off since we forgot. Completely ran into the wall, thatโs all.โ Although Vi isnโt a klutz, it seems like a perfectly plausible story, so you donโt push.ย
You only chuckle, shaking your head. โBe more careful. I have to get you home in one piece.โย
A soft smile spreads across her face, and sheโs kissing your knuckles while responding. โOf course, angel.โย
While you scolded Vi about her bruises, you were set up to get some of your own.ย
โVi Iโm not sure if this is a great idea,โ you worry, looking down at the girl who gets on her knees to lace up your skates.ย
The freezing temperature kissed your nose a subtle hint of red, but the beautiful sunlight gently coating the flurry white wonderland that surrounded the city made up for it. All around you, classmates and city locals of all ages glide around the ice rink with glee. Sounds of love, joy, and the squeals or laughter of tripping inexperienced-skaters fill your ears.ย
โWhy not?โ she asks, eyes flickering up to yours for just a second before moving on to the other foot. The picture of her is just all too much, and you have to look away to regather your thoughts.ย
โI know that youโre a hockey player so this may come as a shock to you, but not everyone is good at ice skating,โ she grins, rolling her eyes at your sarcasm. โIโm just gonna fall on my ass a bunch,โ you whine.
โAnd Iโll be right there to pick you back up.โ Viโs confidence melts away your worries. Finally, as she finishes with your skates, you playfully roll your eyes and come to a stand (with the help of her strong hands).ย
The thinning space between you two and your starry eyes which look up at Vi keep her in a trance as her arms mindlessly wrap around your waist, hands dangerously close to your ass.ย
โPromise not to let me go?โ you whisper through a grin.
โShit. I wouldnโt dream of it.โย
And she doesnโt. Through your first steps and little slips on the ice, Vi stands right beside you, holding your hand with tender care.ย
โThis is pretty romantic, right?โ she hums in your ear as you attempt to push your feet against the ice like she taught you.ย
โAs long as I donโt completely eat it.โ you warn, eyes trained to the ice.
She snickers.
โWell, you look sexy when youโre focused, Iโll give you that.โ
Butterflies erupt throughout your stomach, and a warmth is travelling up your body as you look at Violet with a faux sternness.ย
โQuiet. Youโre distracting me,โ you tease.
Viโs tongue pokes at the inside of her cheek in thought before sheโs letting go of your hand and coming to stand right infront of you. Sculpted arms snake around your waist, and the lack of space between you two as Vi stares with a hungry gaze is making your body feel weak.ย
โIโm distracting you, sweetheart?โย
You quietly suck in a breath of icy cold air, searching for a response in her pretty powder-blue eyes before she snickers once more, stepping back. At last, you feel like you can breathe.
She takes you around the ice, helping you reach a good foundation to feel comfortable skating on your own, and the โgood job, babyโ she praises you with sends a sweet sensation throughout your body. As youโre gliding away from her, giggling in surprise as she pretends to chase you with her intimidating hockey stance, a group of her teammates call for her attention.
She pauses, breath kissing your ear as she lets go of your body. โIโll just be a second, yeah?โย
You nod, sending her off to the group with a smile.ย
And for a moment, everythingโs perfect. Until it isnโt.ย
The call of your name from her mouth freezes your body faster than the chill of the ice ever could. Effortlessly, Caitlynโs gliding up to you with a calculated and calm expression. She knows you canโt get far in those skates.ย
First, youโre praying that Vi will look over at you and race back just in time to save you. Then, angerโs bubbling in the pit of your stomach, and you whip around to make eye contact with the navy-haired girl. Finallyโ
โWhat, Caitlyn?โ you snap without hesitation.ย
The girlโs expression refuses to waver, and toned arms are crossing with the notorious sly smirk of a Kiramman. โNever thought Iโd see you with blades on your feet.โย
โNever thought Iโd see you begging for attention, but here we are,โ you quip, placing your hands on your hips, completely distracted from the ice below you.ย
Her arms uncross with an amused hum, and for a moment you think that maybe sheโs getting off on the negative energy you throw her way. But then she begins to push her skates against the ice, slowly circling you.ย
โI just thought Iโd check in on you, sweetheart. Youโve forgotten to answer my calls and textsโโ
โYou know damn well I havenโt forgotten, Caitโโ
โโAnd I wanted to applaud you in person for being so understanding about what happened with Violet and I.โ
She comes to a stop, and so does your heart. The little red organ skips a beat before continuing, pace matching your weariness.ย
โWhat are you talking about?โ you question, brows furrowed so innocently that Caitlyn has to stop herself from laughing.
โShe hasnโt told you?โ The bluenette makes no attempt to act shocked. Your eyes lock, and her skates scrape against the ice until sheโs hovering right over you.ย
โWerenโt you wondering where she slept after you left her at the jacuzzi?โ The visible air that blows from her mouth is just as harsh as her words, stabbing your heart with its icicles.ย ย
โWhat are you..โ you mutter, but the words die in your throat.
โVi and I had aโฆ rekindling.โ Her head tilts with a cocky smile. โIt was bound to happen I suppose. Once a hookup, always aโโ
โI donโt believe you.โ Your stern words contradict the uncertainty tainting your voice.ย
Caitlyn doesnโt speak. She simply reaches into her back pocket, pulls out her phone, and scrolls to open her messages with Vi, gently placing the device into your quivering fingers.
Really? My ex girlfriend? Youโre a class act. iโll love her better than you ever could, caitlyn Is this to get back at me? Youโre the one who ended our little affair. stop texting my number. Come to think of it, I never told her about us.ย Does she even know?ย fucking drop it cait You have until the end of the trip.ย If you donโt tell her, I will. you donโt care whether she knows or not. you just want her crawling back to you. not happening.ย Iโll tell her.
โYou see it now? How easy it was for her to lie to you? She doesnโt love you, not like I do.โย
โAngel?โ Viโs voice calls out. The once sweet melody to your ears now erupts a symphony of confusion and anger inside of you. Did she plan out those nicknames?
Before you know it, Viโs coming up behind you and placing an arm around your waist. Instead of feeling comfort, youโre suffocated. How can she fake it so easily?
โCan I help you?โ the pink haired girl spits to the Kiramman with a voice of pure disgust. How could you have known?
โI was just leaving,โ Caitlyn hums. With the fulfilling sight of your aghast eyes and Violetโs hidden panic, she skates off.ย
The two of you are uncomfortably quiet for a moment. Your bodyโs still, save for the racing thoughts in your mind, but when Viโs hand on you tightens youโre breaking from her grasp.
And then she sees it.
The broken gaze in your sorrowful eyes, the one look she desperately wanted to avoid. Her worst nightmare has become her reality.ย
And you see it.
The way her gaze goes from calm and collected to a deer in headlights. Itโs like a switch was flipped in her brain, and Violetโs mask comes off as she speaks.ย
โI can explainโโ
โAre you fucking kidding me?โ Your heartbroken voice drowns her out.ย
โYou donโt understand,โ she pleas, but youโre pushing your weight into one foot in an attempt to turn yourself around on the ice.
โI understand perfectly fine you backstabbingโโ
Your knees come slamming into the icy ground with a thud, and the newly proclaimed backstabber is at your side, attempting to lift you onto your feet. You shove her off with a huff, using one knee to come to a wobbly stand.ย
โJust..โ you start, ignoring the tears of frustration that bubble in the corners of your eyes, accompanied by the prickly curse in your throat. โJust stay away from me, Vi.โย
And youโre gone.
Vi obeys your wishes and leaves you alone like you asked.
But only for the next two hours, while she figures out what the hell sheโs going to say to make up for the pain sheโs caused you. Because she did hook up with Cait, but the last time was was months ago, before either of them had anything with you. Because she knows Cait did something to fuck with your head, and now her babyโs fretting and scared to trust anyone. Because sheโs in love with you and only you, and sheโs never going to forgive herself if she doesnโt get you back.ย
So when she slips into your shared room and finds you packing your things, she braces herself for the yelling and cussing she expects to come.
But, it never happens. Instead, you look at her with a woeful expression, and turn back to your open luggage with a scoff.ย
โI knew Caitlyn was fucked up, but I never imagined youโd have as many screws loose. Youโll be perfect for each other,โ you spit, the words acid to Violet. Manicured hands move at a fast pace, roughly tossing in clothes and skin products like they mean nothing to you. โAnd I know weโre not actually dating, but to fuck the one person weโre trying to lie to? Then come to me the next day acting like youโฆโ you trail off, discarding the sentence like trash, but she knows what you were trying to say: like you love me.ย
Wait, what?
โHold on, hold on. I havenโt fucked Kiramman.โ
โ..So you werenโt with her the night I slept in Melโs room?โ you squint.
โFuck no. Itโs been months since weโve hooked up, angel. Like, before you and her were even a thingโโ
โSo you did fuck! Jesus, why didnโt you tell me?โ you raise your voice in question, whipping around to face the girl with exhausted body language. When Viโs mouth hangs open with no clue of a better response than โI was scaredโ, you shake your head, coming to conclusions yourself.
โThatโs why you did this, right? I shouldโve asked more about why you proposed this whole scheme,โ you start, walking towards the nightstand. โMake me look like an idiot? Get back at Cait? Get with Cait? What was it?โย
โNoโ no. I was going to tell you angel, God I swear, I just didnโt know how to tell you without making it hurt. I donโt want anything with Caitlyn, cross my heart, her and I are history. Everything I said about youโ everything I felt with you is real.โ Sheโs speaking so tenderly, inching closer to your frame.
And you wouldโve turned, wouldโve calmed down enough to finish this conversation civilly, maybe believe her.ย
But instead, youโre staring at the opened drawer of the bedside table, right at the chesnut brown envelope decorated with hearts. The same one you wrote for Skye all those years ago.ย
Youโre completely over this.
Violetโs close enough to see everything now. The envelope and letter, the way your face is morphing through thousands of different expressions, and the tears that finally begin to slide down your cheeks as you lift the paper into the air and choke out words.
โWhy the hell do you have this? How much did you plan to humiliate me, huh?โ you ask through sweet sobs.
Violet sighs, because everything sheโs kept from you is hitting her. All of her mistakes are crashing down upon her at once. All she wants is to fix it for you.ย
โThatโs notโ fuck this looks bad.โ Sheโs cursing herself for everything she didnโt tell you, all the chances she had to come clean and never did out of fear.ย
โSevika had it and I took it from her. We fought over it and I hid it here because I didnโt want you to be embarrassed. Thatโs all. I swear.โย
She watches your glossy eyes flicker to her bruised jaw that you touched so lovingly that morning, to her eyes that beg you to forgive her, and to your bag as you walk towards it.
โWell you donโt have to worry about me anymore, Violet. Thisโ us, whatever we are is done. โ You knuckle away your tears, sniffing and pulling at the handle of your suitcase.
The pinkette takes no action to hide the dread that fills her face, quickly following your motion around the room.ย
โSo weโre just breakingโโ she stops. Her heart is racing at an ungodly speed, and the next words come out as a horrified mumble, โWeโre just over? Like that?โย
Thereโs a pregnant pause, and for the last time, you look back at Vi, voice clear.ย
โWe were never together, Violet.โย
Thereโs nothing she can say to rebuttal, or stop you from walking out of that room, because despite both of your desires, it was true.ย
For the next two days, your bed becomes your safe haven. You put your phone on โdo not disturbโ, wrap yourself in the thickest blanket your apartment has, and hide from the rest of the world. Itโs only thanks to Mel, whoโs worried to death, that you remember to eat every once in a while.
Safe to say, youโre a wreck.ย
Three soft knocks on your bedroom door prompt you to roll over, and youโre pulling your head from the covers as the aforementioned beauty enters the room with a plated sandwich in hand.ย
โI have something for that headache of yours,โ she offers, setting the platter on your bedside table and sitting at the edge of the soft mattress.ย
From your blanket-clad vision, you see her lips press together in thought before she finally decides on her carefully sculpted words.ย
โI talked to Abby,โ she starts. You groan, pulling yourself back under the blankets.
โListen,โ she scolds, and you bite your tongue. Hard. โI talked to Abby and she says Violet slept in her room that night. She was moping about you the entire time.โย
โShe didnโt tell me about her and Caitlyn,โ you seethe.ย ย
โNo, but she said she was going to, right?โ She offers, tilting her head. โIn the end, does it really change anything about how you two feel towards each other?โย
When you donโt respond, she sighs, patting your blanket and coming to a stand.ย
โItโs your decision what you do, but I can tell Violet really cares about you. And I think you feel the same.โ
With that, sheโs stepping out of the room and gently closing your door with a click.ย ย
Almost immediately, your head pokes out of the blanket, and your gaze travels to your now black lockscreen lighting up.
One message from Caitlyn.
caitlyn: Are you ready to apologize to me? Iโll still take you back.ย
You block her number. Something you shouldโve done a long time ago.ย
Then, you check the three messages from Vi.ย
superstar <3: i know you want me to leave you alone, and iโm trying my hardest to please let me talk to you angel whenever youโre ready to hear me out
You can only sigh.ย
โI donโt know how else to get this through to both of you.โ
Coach Talisโs sharp tongue scolds the winded athletes. Sweat is dripping down every inch of their skin under their heavy gear. While their teammates ended practice an hour ago, they were here running drills for the โstuntโ they pulled back at Mt. Sky. If it werenโt for the exhaustion capturing their bodies, theyโd be pummeling each other this very second.
โIโm this close to benching both of you, and you know I donโt want to do that.โ Both girls rapidly shake their heads.
โThis better be the last time I hear of an incident regarding the both of you, do you understand?โ The tanned man snaps, and both athletes are throwing out soft โyes coachโโs before he waves them off to the locker room.ย
Throughout her entire shower, Violetโs brain is focused on two things. One, how much she loathes Sevika (fuck her), and two, how much she fucking misses you.ย
Throughout her time spent drying herself off, getting redressed, and packing her backpack, she prays for a text, call, something from you. When she hears the buzz of a phone, sheโs whipping her head around to face her lockscreen (with her favorite picture of you looking effortlessly beautiful and silly simultaneously).ย
Itโs not until the second buzz goes off that she realizes itโs not her phone thatโs being blown up, but Sevikaโs.ย
Despite better judgement, she curiously walks over to the device, reaching down to pick it up with careless hands.
And it almost drops from her calloused fingers in shock.ย
Thereโs three notifications from โC. Kirammanโ.
c. kiramman: That worked better than I thought. Youโre not as dumb as you look.ย c. kiramman: I think our work together is done. C. Kiramman sent you $300!
Youโre at war with yourself.
Your brain is clawing at you to block Violet, get yourself together, and move on with your life as if she was never a part of it.
Your heart and every inch of hope that fills you is begging for you to pick up your phone and give her a chance to prove that it was all a case of bad timing, misunderstandings, and that you truly mean something to her. Because you want her, you can finally admit it, but youโre deathly afraid of being made a fool of.
Youโd skipped classes for the day, pulled yourself from your sheets, showered, and now sit on your black couch with a little sigh, sinking into the fluffy matter. The silence of the apartment is contrasting the swarm of loud thoughts inside your mind, and before it can drive you utterly insane, the doorbell rings.ย
โAngel?โ That sweet voice calls out.
You rise to your feet embarrassingly fast. Your brain waves a white flag and your heart dances in success.ย
When you swing the door open, it takes everything in you to keep yourself from jumping into Violetโs arms. Sheโs worried out of her mind, but the surprise that you even opened the door is giving her a jolt of hope and encouragement. You take in her presence, musk amber scent, oversized jacket that once protected your arms, and all.ย
โIโm so sorry,โ spills from her lips, and you scan her expression before stepping to the side.ย
โCome in.โย
You and Vi sit on opposite ends of your couch. Youโre trying to show off your self control, but sheโs just glad youโll sit next to her at all.ย
โIโm so sorry that I didnโt tell you about my past with Caitlyn. I was scared that youโd hate me, and shit it all just caught up with me before I could grow some balls and rip the bandaid off.โย
Youโve never seen her look so worried, so vulnerable.ย
You take one scoot closer.ย
โBut I promise, I ended things with her a long time ago and that was the last time we ever did anything.โ
Sheโs pulling out her phone, opening the photos app, and setting her phone down face up on the cushions for you to take. You do, picking it up with weary fingers, ones that still when you see the material sheโs revealing.
โCaitlyn hired Sevika to fuck with us. That time at the party, all those times she got me in shit at practice, taking your letter, even giving Caitlyn the idea of lying that I did something with her. Theyโve been trying to get inbetween us for a long time.โย
Your mouth is slightly agape as you scroll through monetary payments and texts from your ex. Ones about her getting you back (fuck that), and others about Sevika getting the spotlight once Viโs burnt out and screwing up at hockey (again, fuck that).ย
โI get why youโre pissed at me, and I understand if you want me out of your life forever.โ It shakes her to even utter those words. โBut Iโฆโย
Sheโs biting her lip, and you watch as she pulls a neatly folded piece of loose leaf paper from her pocket. With embarrassment flushing her face, she sets it on the couch for you to take.
โWhatโs this?โ you ask softly, taking it in your hands and gently unfolding.
โPlease donโt read it out loud.โย
Your heart quickens at the suspense, and your fingers come to a stop as Violetโs handwriting fills your vision.ย
Dear _____,ย
Oh my god.
The words fill your mind and apparently show through your eyes, because when you look at Violet once more, sheโs looking more sheepish than ever.
With a deep breath, you read.ย
Iโve been in love with you for so long, longer than I ever realized, and I never knew how much it warmed my heart and brightened my days until I lost you. The way your eyes light up when you laugh, the loud laugh that takes over your body when weโre alone, the quiet moments we shared, where we didnโt need words, just the way our hands fit together so perfectly. How being near you made everything feel like it was right, even when nothing else made sense. All of the little things that make you, you, have become the moments I crave most.ย
I know Iโve messed up. Been too wrapped up inside my head and covered in fear to tell you the entire truth, but I miss us. I miss your laugh, your smile, the way we would talk about everything and nothing all at once. I wrapping my arm around your waist or kissing your neck cheek nose forehead and feeling like everything was right in the world when we were together. And I donโt want to lose that. I donโt want to lose you. Iโm not asking for everything to go back to normal right away, because I know things take time. But I want to try again, if youโll let me.
Youโre worth every second, every inch of love that exists throughout my blood, and I will spend the rest of my days trying to show you just how much you mean to me.
-With all my love, yours truly, Violet
In the eleventh grade, you thought you loved Violet more than humanely possible.
Now, you wonder how shocked your younger self would be to hear that amount has grown exponentially.ย
"I know it's bad. I'm not a genius like you bu-"
Lips smashing into hers silence any worries that the letter didnโt do its job. Your plush mouthes press against one anotherโs with a passion so deep, so genuine, that it speaks louder than any words youโve spoken; louder than any love letter either of you have written.ย
You faintly pull back, giggling breathily as Vi chases your lips with a look sweet enough to give you a heart attack. With touching foreheads and closed, relaxed eyes, you use the same words as when you first fell in love with her. Except this timeโ you say them out loud.ย
โFrom my happily raised eyebrows to my.. gosh however I worded it. Yโknow that was so corny now that I think about it,โ you begin to whisper, and giggles erupt from both of your mouthes. You hum, placing another chaste kiss on her swollen lips. โI love you, Violet Vanderson. I really, really love you.โย
The warmth radiating from your soul and the heat of your intertwined bodies is all too much. It does anything but help when Violet places soft kisses on your cheek, ones that trail down to your jaw and the base of your neck as she gently pulls you into her lap.ย
โDo youโโ she places a kiss, โforgive me?โ The suck and lick she gives to your neck sends a shudder down your spine. Wait, whatโd she ask again?ย
โI donโt know,โ you hum teasingly, feeling her smirk against your wet skin. โI think you should work for it.โย
โWhatever you want. Tell me what you want, baby.โย
Fuck. How can words make your eyes roll into the back of your head?ย
โWant you toโโย
You gasp as she slides her tongue down your neck, coming to kiss at your collarbones.
โUse your words, sweet girl,โ she whispers sensually.ย
โFuck. I want you.โย
Thatโs all she needs, and Violetโs sliding a cold hand up your shirt, inching it up slowly over your bra and refusing to break eye contact. The action has you whimpering into submission, and you huff.
โYouโre such a tease.โ You complain.
โYouโll take it,โ she hums, finally pulling the shirt over your head and going straight for the clasp of your bra.ย
You take the time to trail a hand under her own shirt, letting your finger tips trail over her abs, and you gasp as your already hard nipples twitch from the newfound cold air when Vi tosses your bra to the side.ย
โGod youโre beautiful,โ is the last thing she says before diving head first into your chest. The room is filled with soft kissing sounds, wet licks and popโs from Viโs mouth on your nubs, and your moans of pleasure when she twists at whatever nipple isnโt getting her mouthโs attention.
โViโ babe please. Need you now.โย
She groans against your sensitive skin, releasing you from her mouth.ย
โNeed me now, baby?โ The girl mocks your neediness with a smirk.
โYeah, yes please,โ you whimper out, and she snickers at how youโre already too dazed to focus.ย
She decides sheโs played with your tits enough (for now), and pulls you right back into a messy, tongue infested kiss as she flips your position. You lean against the couch as she reluctantly separates your lips, sliding kisses down the middle of your torso as her strong hands work at pulling down your pants terribly slowly.ย
Once theyโre off, and you think youโre free as she runs a finger along the middle of your panties, right over your clothed heat. She hums at the way you buck forward. Her just graze along the seam as you speak.ย
โIโm notโ mmm, feeling very forgiving right nowโฆโ you scold, eyes so gone that Violet has to stop herself from apologizing.ย
โDo you want my mouth or fingers to change that?โ she asks, and she canโt hold back the laugh any longer when your eyes unknowingly light up.ย
โMouthโ bothโ Vi anything, just give me it now.โย
She laughs, finally pulling your underwear down at a reasonable pace and scolding you gently.
โWeโll work on fixing your tone another time.โย
She leaves the tiny fabric hanging off one of your delicate ankles, mumbling something about how fuckable you look sprawled out for her like this. The girlโs quick to effortlessly spread your legs, and she gulps at how slick and glistening your cunt is all for her.ย
โFuck me, baby,โ she mutters in awe.
โIโm trying to,โ you whine, taking her back to the present where you and your body are completely at her mercy.
Finally, your prayers are answered, and sheโs licking a clean line straight up your pussy, taking a river of juices with her pleasure-inducing tongue.ย
As if the taste enchants her, Viโs dropping her head down to your needy heat. Her tongue lulls out, swirling against your clit, your hole, anywhere she can make you feel good. Itโs not long before two thick fingers plunge into you, and youโre throwing your head back.ย
โOh my god, please pleaseโ yes.โ
โPlease? Please what, sweetheart?โ she mocks once more. Your moans motivate the muscle-flexing girl to go deeper, go faster, and she has to hold you still when you arch from how sweet her digits hit your g-spot.ย
The way sheโs drinking your cunt sucks away your thoughts as well, and itโs not until she hands a harsh slap to your ass that youโre blinking, babbling something about needing to cum.ย
โYou can do it baby, yeah good girl. Fuck.โย
Sweet praises decorated with the perfect mixture of her fingers, tongue, and the lust-laced eye contact send you over the edge, and your loud moans carry throughout the entire space as you finish.ย
Viโs tools donโt stop, not until youโve completely come down from the best high of your life, not until your shaky hand is gently placing itself over hers in silent appreciation.ย
When your heavy pants are all thatโs left to be heard, she kisses your cunt goodbye and says hello to your lips. A strong hand on the back of your head keeps your mouth pressed against hers, and you love it. Because youโre sure you could twist lips with this girl until you pass out from forgetting to breathe.ย
โTaste yourself?โ she whispers once her tongueโs slid out of your mouth. You can only nod, relishing in the way her arms wrap around your body, a silent insinuation that youโre hers to protect.
With a hum, youโre kissing both of her cheeks, then her nose and forehead in thanks as her chin rests against your chest.
โI guess that was a good enough apology.โ You fake dissatisfaction, completely ignoring the way your body presses even further into hers while you smooth a hand through her hair.ย
She snickers in disbelief.
โThink you need another? Just to see how sorry I am, of course.โย
You hum, finally shrugging with an inconcealable smile.
โI guess thatโd work.โย
Vi makes no complaint, because why on earth would she, and sheโs kissing a line right back where she started.
โIs this too over the top? The number six was fine but the hand prints? Do I look like a high schooler? Be honestโโย
Mel cuts off your babbling with a laugh. โYou didnโt want to look like a high schooler?โย
Youโre whining from your position in the stands, and Melโs apologizing for her joke as she confirms you look amazing. โViโs already seen you, and she seemed to love it,โ she coos in your ear, bumping her hip against yours as you laugh.ย
And the girlโs right. Throughout the game, Viโs taken glances at you every second she gets. Sheโs grinning at the pink body paint handprints that travel up your legs, winking when you blow her kisses everytime your gazes lock, chuckling at how loud you get when you cheer โgo Vi!โ, and donโt get her started on how youโre body is clad in her big jersey.ย
Yeah, sheโs completely whipped.ย
Thereโs only two minutes left in the game, and the Piltover Knights are winning 2-4. But youโre not entirely focused on the screaming atmosphere or Viโs upcoming victory, because all you can think about is how hot and aggressive your girlfriend looks in her element.
Thereโs a jolt of joy that zips up your body, because: yeah, thatโs your girlfriend.ย
The horn chugs to signal the end of the match and the crowdโs roaring with glee, especially you and Mel, who jump up and down while screaming out for your respective players.ย
Vi throws you a toothy smile from the ice, one that you see again after she exits the locker room and comes to find โher girlโ in the loitering crowd.ย
She embraces and lifts you into the air, spinning you around as if youโre a feather in her grasp. Each giggle that spills from your lips is more joyous than the last, just like every moment you spend together.ย
โYou were so cool out there! Never seen you look so mad and focused,โ you praise your pink-haired girl as she sets you down, placing a warm kiss to the top of your head.
โThatโs because you bring out the good in me. Iโm usually all rude and scary andโโ
โWith that hair?โ you tease, ruffling your hand through her fluff. โYouโre not fooling anybody, pinkie.โย
Viโs jaw drops in shock.ย
โPinkie?โ she repeats with a squinted gaze.ย
A beat passes, and youโre turning to run away, but itโs too late. The athlete lunges forward, wrapping her arms around your core to trap you as you fake complain in protest, but giggles are soon falling from your mouth and breaking your character.ย
โYouโre lucky youโre cute,โ her playful words kiss your ear.
โOh whatever, you love me.โ you grin through the claim, turning your head to have her beautiful face in your vision.ย
Viโs smile softens into something genuine as she scans over your pretty face. Your astonishing, stunningโ fuck there are so many things she could say about your face, about your heart, about your brain, about you.ย
โYeah. I really, really do.โย
Sparkled blue eyes connect with yours, and theyโre sending you into a trance as youโre lured into a tender kiss.ย
With every kiss, the world around you is drowned out until itโs just you and Violet. Your minds, bodies, and hearts intertwine, and with each connection of your lips, you taste everything she feels.
Itโs perfect, even better than you couldโve imagined from that creative writing class, and it gets better everyday that you live the reality.
From the grasp of your passionate kiss, as colors of blue, auburn, chestnut brown and more pass by you, you smile knowing that safe in your arms lies your perfect pink.ย
ยฉsilknspice
AWEEE HURAAAYYYYY
I drew this with a fever ๐
CHLOEE
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ .แ
synopsis: college au texts (& small hcs) with the girls + tropes<3
characters: jinx, vi, caitlyn, sevika
notes: SHE'S BACKKKKK!!! sorry for being gone for so long #igotintoleagueoflegends(thegame.), regular posting will be back !! other than that, sevikas part was my fave bless.
vi. + fake dating (also biker! vi)
- how this whole fake dating thing started was through a hook up actually!!
- both of you got shitfaced & you two were already friends, so after vi saw Maddie with caitlyn she was like "nah fuck it I'm gonna get her back!!" (classic, sigh.)
- this is random, but she's actually a really good cook (in my head) and she's probably made some fire meals 4 you
- for some reason.. she gives me xxxtentacion listener like she loves "I don't even speak Spanish lol" in this au but when she's emo over cait, bring out the sad! and shit like that ๐ญ
- her ass would be on the ground staring at the ceiling, sad! blasting, and her roommate would be like SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN!!!!!
- avid marvel rivals player, loves luna snow no questions.
- don't ask why she texts like that she js does ๐
- she goes "this is for you" before scoring in a game and trips while running and falls on her face instead๐ญ
- she is nawt NAWT!! a womanizer(?) fuckgirl(is that the female equivalent?????) idgaf what ppl say, sure she flirts occasionally but she's super loyal if she's in a rs, she's an awesome gf !!! we love vi in this household!!!!
jinx. + childhood bsfs 2 lovers
- matching pfps & bios on tiktok and insta I'm telling u. it'd be smth like "sniper, sniper, sniper" then "wifey, wifey, wifey"
- random hc cs yay, vi probably accidentally killed her pet hamster when they were kids and you had to comfort her cs her ass was crying for HOURRSSSS. there was a funeral for it with a tiny casket. (it died cs of the microwave beeping when vi's instant noodles were done)
- one of those ppl who gets high grades without trying, don't ask her grade unless you wanna feel hurt cs she js says "98" while being hungover.
- her music taste is so all over the place but I'm so certain she sticks to loud music!! she gets sleepy if it's calm๐ญ
- engineering major no doubt abt it
- doesn't know how to cook but not cs she can't, it's bcs she doesn't want to
- she probably asked you out in a cutesy way like imagine after ur bday you're watching the stars tg and she's like staring at you w hearts in her eyes and she js says "I love you" and you're like "awww I love you too!!" cs ur bsfs, but she then repeats it "no like I LOVE you" and ur like woah.. then u start to makeout or whatever w stars in the bg, end scene!!
- genuinely the best gift giver ever, everything's homemade and made w love ๐๐ i lauv her sm๐๐
caitlyn. + academic rivals (+ forced proximity)
first pic isn't rlly connected to the rest, js to show their rs
- after the project you two actually got alot closer, you could even say FRIENDS ๐คฏ, there is still competition but it isn't like as bad as before, it's more so "Haha, I got higher." "wtvvv ๐ I'll buy u ice cream ๐"
- sevika was the prof btw, she wanted to fuck with u guys ๐
- archer cait. that's all I gotta say. (also equestrian u can't tell me other wise)
- HEAR ME OUT! imagine she invites you to her archery training & during it ur like, "Can I try?" she says alright and then when you're holding the bow she goes behind you and starts fixing how ur holding it, then she wraps a hand around ur waist and brushes it off as "oh your posture was incorrect" when she lets go.
- moving on, I imagine her having a doll collection like don't ask why but she collects monster high dolls. (please ask her about every single doll, she'll proudly infodump)
- when u get closer to her she's alot less formal, its very cutie of her !!!
- has a fitness tiktok account and she drinks apple cider vinegar daily (NASTYYYY IDGAF IF ITS HEALTHY!!!!).
- modern au cait is like a cat in my head, idk she's js so cutie in it please give her love that's it๐
sevika. + grumpy x sunshine (professor! sevika)
- her students try to tease her when she smiles at your notes, she shuts them down so fast it's scary. her expression goes from ๐ to ๐คจ, then they stfu and go to their seat.
- only person who teases her and gets away with it is jinx I fear.
- you and sevika have a nightly routine of dancing together (she's so soft w u don't play w me.) her fave song to play is love by Keyshia Cole (ARGUFJWHFIWJ ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ)
- regular gym goer, she has an insta she barely posts on besides the occasional video of her hitting a new record while her students comment "omg MISS SEVIKA!!!!!" then she blocks them when she sees the notif.
- doesn't trust anyone to cut her hair besides you cs apparently you js do it better, her words, not mine! ๐คทโโ๏ธ
- one of those, mean to everyone besides you, types (minus isha and jinx cs those r FAM!)
- loves reading idk I js get that vibe from her, after a long day, she opens her kindle (that she got from you as a bday gift) and relaxes.
- first time her students saw you, they glanced at both of you like a million times before it registered you were together, cs how'd she end up with such a sweet cutie!!
- they ask her a billion questions and she's like "I don't talk about my personal life, end of story."
- she's trying to quit smoking for u trust ๐ it's js hard but she's getting there!!
- she loves u so dearly please never let go of her.๐๐
sevikas part was too long I'm sorry ๐ญ ...there were gonna be a couple NSFW hcs for her but 5 minutes after I wrote them I got food poisoning so I was like "I'll die if I post them."๐๐ anws hope u liked these
SEVIKA ONES HAD ME KICKING MY FEETTT!!!! love her eugh.
Little Offerings
Jinx x Reader
Warnings: None, just pure fluff.
The first one is so small you nearly miss it.
A rusted bolt, worn smooth with time, left atop your rickety table like a forgotten thought. You barely glance at it. The Lanes are built from lost things, scraps and remnants, pieces no one claims. It couldโve clung to your sleeve, fallen from a strangerโs pocket.
Then comes a marble, cracked through the middle, its surface swirling like oil caught in the rain. A gear, its teeth gnawed down by age. A half melted arcade token, its once bright letters long since faded.
They appear like whispers, tucked into the corners of your life. Too deliberate to be accidents.
One evening, you turn a playing card between your fingers, a queen of hearts, edges scorched, half of her face lost to the burn. And then you feel it. Jinxโs gaze, electric and expectant, watching from across the room.
โYou been leaving these?โ you ask, holding the card up.
Sheโs perched on your windowsill, moonlight catching in her hair, one knee pulled to her chest as she idly twists a loose thread in her stocking. A smirk tugs at her lips, sharp as a knifeโs edge, but her eyes flicker with something less certain.
โMaybe,โ she drawls.
โWhy?โ
Jinx shrugs, looking past you, like the question makes her restless. โFind somethinโ good, I think of you. Figured it oughta be yours.โ
A pause. A warmth, slow and unfurling.
From then on, you see them everywhere. A bent coin, left on your workbench. A feather, impossibly violet, tucked into your sleeve. A shard of stained glass, blue as the shimmer on her lips, slipped beneath your pillow.
She never explains them. Never asks if you keep them. But you catch the way she watches, waiting, like she expects you to throw them away, to call it silly, to call her silly.
You donโt.
And one night, she presses something small into your palm, shaped into something lopsided and knotted, messy but unmistakable. A heart.
โMade this one myself,โ she mutters, toying with her nails. โSโkinda ugly, but-โ
You donโt let her finish. Instead, you lean in and brush a kiss against her cheek, warm and fleeting.
Jinx stills.
Like a fuse burning to its final ember, like something inside her is held breathless between seconds.
She blinks at you, lips parted, pupils wide. And then, slow as a flame catching, her mouth curls into a grin, something wild, something dizzy with delight.
โOh,โ she breathes. โThatโs new.โ
You smirk, twirling the copper heart between your fingers. โGuess youโll have to keep bringing me things to see if it happens again.โ
Jinx exhales a laugh, quiet and breathy, eyes gleaming with something wicked, something hungry.
โOh, Youโre never getting rid of me now.โ she purrs, voice curling around you like smoke.
And somehow, you think you already knew that.
AWE THIS IS SO CUTIEEE
for love


